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{{Infobox|Box title = Zolastraya and the Bard #1|Image file = At4w zolastraya and the bard 1 by mtc studios-d7guuiz-768x339.png|Image size = 320|Row 1 title = Released|Row 1 info = May 5, 2014|Row 2 title = Running time|Row 2 info = 21:11|Row 3 title = Previous review|Row 3 info = [[Bill and Ted's Excellent Comic Book 1]]|Row 4 title = Next review|Row 4 info = [[PSA Hell: Superman: For the Animals 1]]|Row 5 title = Tagline|Row 5 info = Time to go on an adventure! With cameos!|Row 6 title = Link|Row 6 info = http://atopthefourthwall.com/zolastraya-and-the-bard-1/}}
  
{{Infobox|Box title = Zolastraya and the Bard #1|Image file = At4w zolastraya and the bard 1 by mtc studios-d7guuiz-768x339.png|Image size = 320|Row 1 title = Released|Row 1 info = May 5, 2014|Row 2 title = Running time|Row 2 info = 21:11|Row 3 title = Previous review|Row 3 info = [[Bill and Ted's Excellent Comic Book 1]]|Row 4 title = Next review|Row 4 info = [[PSA Hell: Superman: For the Animals 1]]|Row 5 title = Tagline|Row 5 info = Time to go on an adventure! With cameos!|Row 6 title = Link|Row 6 info = http://atopthefourthwall.com/zolastraya-and-the-bard-1/}}
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''(Open on Linkara sitting on a hotel bed instead of on his futon)''
  
''(Open on Linkara sitting on a hotel bed instead of on his futon)''
   
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''(Title sequence plays; title card is set to Green Day's "Basket Case")''
  
''(Title sequence plays; title card is set to Green Day's "Basket Case")''
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'''Linkara:''' ''(gasping for breath and clutching his head)'' I've been holding my breath since the theme song started. So, uh, what's the backstory for this comic? ''(shrugs)'' Hell if I know. Welcome back to "Black-and-White Independent Comic of the '80s Theater"! ''(awkward pause)'' I need a pithier title than that.
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''(Cut to a closeup of the cover for a comic called "C.R.O.W.BAR 9")''
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'''Linkara (v/o):''' So, yeah, like I said, black-and-white independent comic of the '80s. We've touched on this before: how the rise of the direct market, AKA comic book stores...
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  +
''(Cut to a shot of the cover of another comic: "Mildly Microwaved Pre-Pubescent Kung-Fu Gophers")''
  +
  +
'''Linkara (v/o):''' ...granted an opportunity for new creators independent of big companies like Marvel and DC to get their work out to people. Aaaand most of it was absolute garbage.
  +
  +
''(Cut to a shot of the original "[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #1]]")''
  +
  +
'''Linkara (v/o):''' For every "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", there are ten wannabe superheroes and twenty other comics of varying genres, usually sci-fi or parody stuff.
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  +
''(Cut to shots of comics by Solson)''
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'''Linkara (v/o):''' Or, you have the likes of Solson, purveyors of fine sequential art like "[[Solson Christmas Special featuring Samurai Santa 1|Samurai Santa]]" or "[[Sultry Teenage Super-Foxes 2|Sultry Teenage Super-Foxes]]".
  +
  +
''(Cut to a shot of a cover for a comic called "Geriatric Gangrene Jujitsu Gerbils")''
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'''Linkara (v/o):''' And because there are so damn many of these kinds of comics, it's hard to find anything of substance about the companies or people who produced them, unless they actually ''had'' a career after their books tanked.
   
 
'''This guide is not complete. Please finish.'''
  
'''This guide is not complete. Please finish.'''

Revision as of 18:30, 16 February 2019

Zolastraya and the Bard #1

At4w zolastraya and the bard 1 by mtc studios-d7guuiz-768x339

Released
May 5, 2014
Running time
21:11
Previous review
Next review
Tagline
Time to go on an adventure! With cameos!
Link

(Open on Linkara sitting on a hotel bed instead of on his futon)

Linkara: Hello, and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. (rubs his chin in thought) You know what we've never done on this show before? A fantasy comic!* (cover for "Marville #1" pops up) No, no, I mean a sword-and-sorcery comic, not someone's delusions. (cover for "Bimbos in Time" pops up) I hate you, editor. But anyway, yeah, because I'm at a convention right now, what better time is there for an adventure!

(Linkara runs off briefly, then returns wearing a fantasy-themed costume (with his show's logo on his chest))

Linkara: Huzzah! And to get us in the mood for this adventure, let's dig into (holds up today's comic) "Zolastraya and the Bard #1".

(Title sequence plays; title card is set to Green Day's "Basket Case")

Linkara: (gasping for breath and clutching his head) I've been holding my breath since the theme song started. So, uh, what's the backstory for this comic? (shrugs) Hell if I know. Welcome back to "Black-and-White Independent Comic of the '80s Theater"! (awkward pause) I need a pithier title than that.

(Cut to a closeup of the cover for a comic called "C.R.O.W.BAR 9")

Linkara (v/o): So, yeah, like I said, black-and-white independent comic of the '80s. We've touched on this before: how the rise of the direct market, AKA comic book stores...

(Cut to a shot of the cover of another comic: "Mildly Microwaved Pre-Pubescent Kung-Fu Gophers")

Linkara (v/o): ...granted an opportunity for new creators independent of big companies like Marvel and DC to get their work out to people. Aaaand most of it was absolute garbage.

(Cut to a shot of the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #1")

Linkara (v/o): For every "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", there are ten wannabe superheroes and twenty other comics of varying genres, usually sci-fi or parody stuff.

(Cut to shots of comics by Solson)

Linkara (v/o): Or, you have the likes of Solson, purveyors of fine sequential art like "Samurai Santa" or "Sultry Teenage Super-Foxes".

(Cut to a shot of a cover for a comic called "Geriatric Gangrene Jujitsu Gerbils")

Linkara (v/o): And because there are so damn many of these kinds of comics, it's hard to find anything of substance about the companies or people who produced them, unless they actually had a career after their books tanked.

This guide is not complete. Please finish.

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