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'''Todd (VO):''' Now I say "new", it's new-ish, it's only about a month old, which is fairly recent for one of my reviews but, despite its high debut it ''[image of Billboard Hot 100, showing "Yummy" at number 19]'' fell pretty quickly, making this not so much a review as a postmortem. |
'''Todd (VO):''' Now I say "new", it's new-ish, it's only about a month old, which is fairly recent for one of my reviews but, despite its high debut it ''[image of Billboard Hot 100, showing "Yummy" at number 19]'' fell pretty quickly, making this not so much a review as a postmortem. |
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| − | '''Todd:''' If it at least debuted at |
+ | '''Todd:''' If it at least debuted at #1, ''[screenshot of headline: "Selena Gomez Scores First No. 1 on Billboard Hot 100 with 'Lose You to Love Me'"]'' as his ex-girlfriend did with her recent mediocre song, he could at least claim ''some'' kind of success from this...<blockquote>''TikTok video of girls dancing to "The Box" by Roddy Ricch, with New York Times headline "Roddy Ricch Bests Justin Bieber, Landing a No. 1 Single and Album" laid over top''</blockquote>'''Todd (VO):''' ...but it was kept off the top spot by some song that's popular on TikTok. ''[clip of "[[Old Town Road]]" along with shot of article: "'Old Town Road' proves TikTok can launch a hit song"]'' History repeating itself? |
'''Todd:''' We'll check in 5 months from now.<blockquote>''Video for "Yummy"''</blockquote>'''Todd (VO):''' Now technically the Bieber song is not dead, it's hanging in there. ''[montage of TikTok videos featuring "Yummy", including Bieber miming to the song]'' Largely because Bieber has also taken to TikTok to aggressively promote it, trying to astroturf it into a viral hit. ''[image featuring instructions to buy and stream the song multiple times]'' Worse than that, he's posted messages to his fans with detailed instructions about how to commit streaming fraud to try and get the numbers up. It's working, apparently, but it's also given it the stink of desperation. The song is bad, in a way that puts an irrevocable stain on your image, and Bieber does not need any more of those. |
'''Todd:''' We'll check in 5 months from now.<blockquote>''Video for "Yummy"''</blockquote>'''Todd (VO):''' Now technically the Bieber song is not dead, it's hanging in there. ''[montage of TikTok videos featuring "Yummy", including Bieber miming to the song]'' Largely because Bieber has also taken to TikTok to aggressively promote it, trying to astroturf it into a viral hit. ''[image featuring instructions to buy and stream the song multiple times]'' Worse than that, he's posted messages to his fans with detailed instructions about how to commit streaming fraud to try and get the numbers up. It's working, apparently, but it's also given it the stink of desperation. The song is bad, in a way that puts an irrevocable stain on your image, and Bieber does not need any more of those. |
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<blockquote>''Clip of |
<blockquote>''Clip of |
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Reputation Stadium Tour Trailer''</blockquote> |
Reputation Stadium Tour Trailer''</blockquote> |
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| − | '''Todd (VO):''' Cause |
+ | '''Todd (VO):''' Cause that's when a truly stunning series of events happened. ''[clip of Katy Perry and Justin Timberlake live performances]'' Within about a six month period, we saw the release of ''[album covers of...]'' Katy Perry’s ''Witness'', Taylor Swift’s ''Reputation'', and Justin Timberlake’s ''Man of The Woods''. |
'''Todd:''' “Witness”, “reputation”, “Man of the Woods.” |
'''Todd:''' “Witness”, “reputation”, “Man of the Woods.” |
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| − | <blockquote>''Montage of |
+ | <blockquote>''Montage clips of Justin Timberlake - “[[Filthy]]”; Taylor Swift - “[[Look What You Made Me Do]]”; Katy Perry ft. Nicki Minaj - “Swish Swish” followed by a clip of the “Bon Appétit” SNL performance''</blockquote> |
| − | '''Todd (VO):''' Three of the biggest stars in music just completely tanking their images with |
+ | '''Todd (VO):''' Three of the biggest stars in music just completely tanking their images with bizarre misconceived albums that attempted to chart a new course and failed miserably. ''[screenshot of New York Post article “Taylor Swift’s ‘Reputation’ tour shaping up to be a disaster”]'' Taylor took a ton of critical damage from it, ''[images of...]'' and Katy and Timberlake we might never see again. ''[clip of “Yummy”]'' I saw more than one person compare Bieber’s new song to ''Man of the Woods'', but it kinda reminds me of all three of them. |
'''Todd:''' Bieber is somehow making all three disasters in one. |
'''Todd:''' Bieber is somehow making all three disasters in one. |
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| − | <blockquote>'' |
+ | <blockquote>''Video for ''“Yummy”''</blockquote> |
| − | “Yummy”''</blockquote> |
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'''Todd (VO):''' I guess I should go into detail here, so why don’t we skip the appetizers and just get to the main course. This is Justin Bieber’s new single, it’s called “Yummy”. |
'''Todd (VO):''' I guess I should go into detail here, so why don’t we skip the appetizers and just get to the main course. This is Justin Bieber’s new single, it’s called “Yummy”. |
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'''Todd:''' What is wrong with it? |
'''Todd:''' What is wrong with it? |
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| − | |||
''Closing Tag Song: Barney - “The Yum Yum Song”'' |
''Closing Tag Song: Barney - “The Yum Yum Song”'' |
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Revision as of 03:35, 25 February 2020
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Yummy
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Date Aired
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February 23, 2020
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Running Time
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14:36
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Previous Review
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Next Review
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TBA
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Website
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Todd plays "Yummy" on the piano.
JUSTIN BIEBER - YUMMY
A pop song review
Todd: [beat] Do we need Justin Bieber?
Clip of Justin Bieber - "Yummy"
Justin Bieber: Yeah babe, yeah babe, yeah babe
Todd (VO): That's the question that's really nagged at me since I first heard the new song "Yummy" by [image of...] SNL star Pete Davidson. Or...
Todd (VO): ...excuse me, Bieber. Justin Bieber's what I meant.
Todd (VO): Now I say "new", it's new-ish, it's only about a month old, which is fairly recent for one of my reviews but, despite its high debut it [image of Billboard Hot 100, showing "Yummy" at number 19] fell pretty quickly, making this not so much a review as a postmortem.
Todd: If it at least debuted at #1, [screenshot of headline: "Selena Gomez Scores First No. 1 on Billboard Hot 100 with 'Lose You to Love Me'"] as his ex-girlfriend did with her recent mediocre song, he could at least claim some kind of success from this...
TikTok video of girls dancing to "The Box" by Roddy Ricch, with New York Times headline "Roddy Ricch Bests Justin Bieber, Landing a No. 1 Single and Album" laid over top
Todd (VO): ...but it was kept off the top spot by some song that's popular on TikTok. [clip of "Old Town Road" along with shot of article: "'Old Town Road' proves TikTok can launch a hit song"] History repeating itself? Todd: We'll check in 5 months from now.
Video for "Yummy"
Todd (VO): Now technically the Bieber song is not dead, it's hanging in there. [montage of TikTok videos featuring "Yummy", including Bieber miming to the song] Largely because Bieber has also taken to TikTok to aggressively promote it, trying to astroturf it into a viral hit. [image featuring instructions to buy and stream the song multiple times] Worse than that, he's posted messages to his fans with detailed instructions about how to commit streaming fraud to try and get the numbers up. It's working, apparently, but it's also given it the stink of desperation. The song is bad, in a way that puts an irrevocable stain on your image, and Bieber does not need any more of those.
Todd: In fact, what it reminds me of, I mean let’s roll back about three years,
Clip of Reputation Stadium Tour Trailer
Todd (VO): Cause that's when a truly stunning series of events happened. [clip of Katy Perry and Justin Timberlake live performances] Within about a six month period, we saw the release of [album covers of...] Katy Perry’s Witness, Taylor Swift’s Reputation, and Justin Timberlake’s Man of The Woods.
Todd: “Witness”, “reputation”, “Man of the Woods.”
Montage clips of Justin Timberlake - “Filthy”; Taylor Swift - “Look What You Made Me Do”; Katy Perry ft. Nicki Minaj - “Swish Swish” followed by a clip of the “Bon Appétit” SNL performance
Todd (VO): Three of the biggest stars in music just completely tanking their images with bizarre misconceived albums that attempted to chart a new course and failed miserably. [screenshot of New York Post article “Taylor Swift’s ‘Reputation’ tour shaping up to be a disaster”] Taylor took a ton of critical damage from it, [images of...] and Katy and Timberlake we might never see again. [clip of “Yummy”] I saw more than one person compare Bieber’s new song to Man of the Woods, but it kinda reminds me of all three of them.
Todd: Bieber is somehow making all three disasters in one.
Video for “Yummy”
Todd (VO): I guess I should go into detail here, so why don’t we skip the appetizers and just get to the main course. This is Justin Bieber’s new single, it’s called “Yummy”.
Todd: What is wrong with it?
Closing Tag Song: Barney - “The Yum Yum Song”
THE END
"Yummy" is owned by Def Jam Records
This video is owned by me
THANK YOU TO THE LOYAL PATRONS!