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Willow
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Release Date
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April 23, 2025
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Running Time
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23:15
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Previous Review
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Video
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(After the intro, we fade in on the Critic)
NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. This year, we lost an actor that definitely left an impact on film.
(Pictures of Val Kilmer are shown, including The Doors, Real Genius, Heat, and Tombstone)
NC (vo): Whether it was intense drama or silly comedy, Val Kilmer always gave his unique stamp on any role. So, in honor of his memory, I wanted to review the film that had his most iconic role--
(Shows the poster for Tombstone)
NC (vo): Oh, I did it already.
(Critic's eyes dart to the side)
NC: Well, let's look at another iconic character he played--
(Shows the poster for Batman Forever)
NC (vo): Oh, I did that, too.
NC: Um... I think we've made enough...
(Shows the poster for Top Gun)
NC (vo): ...volleyball jokes.
(Shows the poster for The Island of Dr. Moreau)
NC (vo): Eh, I want a movie I can be kinder to him in.
(Shows the poster for Planes)
NC (vo): (disgusted) Christ, he was in THAT?!
(Critic sputters his lips and pats the table)
NC: What about Willow? We done Willow? I like Willow! Let's do Willow!
(The film's title is shown, accompanied by clips of the film. "Night Vigil" by Kevin MacLeod plays in the background)
NC (vo): Though arguably not the main star, Val Kilmer once again does a good job adding a distinct flair to a character that, honestly, is written somewhat generic. In fact, to be honest, Willow underperformed at the box office because many people at the time did see it as a little generic. What makes it stand out in my opinion, though, is its atmosphere and its main actors. Released in 1988, directed by Ron Howard, and conceived by George Lucas, everyone thought this was gonna be a smash hit. But while it by no means bombed, it certainly didn't pull in the numbers it was hoping for. Possibly due to mixed critical reactions, or the release (shows posters for Big, Rambo III, and Crocodile Dundee II) of other big, anticipated hits. However, the film did have a healthy life on TV and home video. And years later, it is still being talked about. So what is it about this film that still keeps peoples' interests, even though it failed to get peoples' interests in the past? Well, let's examine further.
NC: Let's take a look at this 80s fantasy before Hollywood tries to reboot it--
(Shows a poster for the Disney+ show Willow)
NC (vo): Oh, right, they did.
(Shows a clip from Life's Too Short)
NC (vo): Actually, I think I saw of clip of it; it's pretty good.
Stephen Merchant: Huh, it's Val Kilmer.
Kilmer: Are you gonna finish that tiramsu?
NC: Let's take a look at Willow.
(The opening prologue text is shown)
NC (vo): The film opens with Lucas's favorite trope: bombarding you with exposition. (shows the title crawl for The Phantom Menace) As it is said a child will be born to take down the evil queen. And seeing how Lucas's other favorite trope is (shows a picture of young Anakin) Jesus symbolism, the evil ruler tries to destroy every newborn pregnancy.
Ethna: She bears the mark.
Elora's mother: (sobbing) They're going to kill her!
(The midwife Ethna is shown sneaking past the guards, disguised as a washerwoman, and is next seeing traversing through a snowy mountain range)
NC (vo): The baby is taken away in secret - GREAT security in this place! - as the credits roll, and CHRIST! Is this whole film just what the baby hallucinated before she froze to death?! How the hell did they survive this?!
(In a forest, Ethna hears dogs barking, so she places the baby on a makeshift raft of grass and sends her floating down the river)
NC (vo): She's chased down by the D.D.R.O.U.S - dogs dressed as rodents of unusual size, and okay, is this Jesus or Moses? I need to know what testament we're stealing from.
(Two children see the raft stop on a riverbank, and run off)
NC (vo): The baby drifts to a village of little people called Nelwyns, and is discovered by our title character Willow, played by Warwick Davis.
Willow: Looks like a Daikini baby. Daikinis are big; giants who live far away.
NC: Despite being in films before, this was easily the flick that made Warwick Davis a star.
(Behind-the-scenes pictures of Return of the Jedi are briefly shown)
NC (vo): Honestly, it's kinda cool knowing that Lucas used little people to play the usual role of little creatures and - yeah, let's face it - sometimes props, but he saw the talent in them, and said, "I'm gonna give you your own goddamn movie." And it probably goes without saying, but Warwick Davis is wonderful in this role, bringing an incredibly likeable and believable humanity to the character.
Willow: We'll push it downstream, and forget we ever saw it.
NC: Aside from the "killing babies" part.
NC (vo): Willow's wife Kaiya immediately takes to the baby, though, and wants to look after her.
(While cleaning the baby, Kaiya notices a birthmark on the baby's arm)
NC: (as Kaiya) Huh, well that'll come in handy; she's a Firebender. (shows a fire element symbol from The Last Airbender)
NC (vo): Willow takes to the baby, too, when she stops crying after she's handed to him.
Kaiya: Here.
Willow: Hey, no.
Kaiya: Hold her.
Willow: Hey, I don't wanna, Kaiya.
NC (vo): (as Willow) Oh, come on, I'm already a (shows Davis's birthdate) 17-year-old with a wife and two kids, don't you think this is going a little fast?!
(While in Willow's arms, the baby laughs; Willow cracks a smile)
Sylvester the Cat: (voice only) Aw, he called me daddy!
(The Nelwyns' festival is shown)
NC (vo): (as producer; scoffs) Wrong, wrong, you need millions of dollars, greenscreens, and (shows picture from the set of The Unexpected Journey) a weeping Ian McKellen to make this work.
(Willow is wearing a hollow branch over his arm and is holding a flaming stick with his other arm)
Willow: If you're easily shocked, please turn away.
NC (vo): (as Willow) I learned this trick trying to keep the actors sober of (shows the poster for...) A Very Unlucky Leprechaun.
(Willow is next shown attempting to make a pig disappear)
Willow: Deru-deru!
(The pig runs from underneath a floorboard, spoiling the surprise)
NC (vo): His last trick doesn't go very well, though, and he loses the crowd. In fact, he's laughed at when he wants to be the apprentice of a very powerful Nelwyn called the High Aldwin, played by Billy Barty. He also does a great job, acting like Gandalf turned into a mini-sized version of Mickey Goldmill. (shows images of said characters)
High Aldwin: The power to control the world is in which finger?
NC: Well, if you're talking about how to destroy the world's economy through tariffs, that'd be this finger. (flips the bird)
NC (vo): They all fail the test, and a new apprentice isn't chosen. The village is attacked by one of the beasts from earlier, though, but they manage to kill it off. When they put together it was looking for the baby, they decide to tell the town what's going on.
High Aldwin: This child must be taken beyond the boundaries of our village, to the Daikini Crossroads.
Villager: Who'd do that?
(The High Aldwin squints one eye in thought)
NC: (as High Aldwin) Unfortunately, I must preserve the sacred role of "not it", so someone else must take the journey.
NC (vo): The village nominates Willow, but the High Aldwin says he has to look at his magic bones to decide.
High Aldwin: (quietly; to Willow) The bones tell me nothing.
NC (vo): (as High Aldwin) They're actually the remains of a fairy brothel I stepped on. Don't ask me why I was going there.
High Aldwin: Do you have any love for this child?
Willow: Yes, I do.
NC (vo): The bones are just an excuse to see if Willow really cares for the child, which he says he does, so it's decided he should take her. Other Nelwyns agree to go with him, as before he sets out on his journey, Willow admits to the High Aldwin that the finger he really wanted to pick was his own.
High Aldwin: That was the correct answer. You lack faith in yourself. You have the potential to be a great sorcerer.
NC: (as High Aldwin) Far more than the little sorcerers down the road who only have the power of possessing our nightmares. (shows image of the dwarves from the live-action Snow White)
(We cut to black, and when we return, the High Aldwin hands Willow some acorns)
NC (vo): He gives him magic acorns, which he says will turn anyone he throws them at into stone. Yeah, I'd trust a guy who said many of his magical ways are bullshit. I love the fact that they do show that he's magical, but he doesn't always know how it works.
(The High Aldwin throws a stone into the air, and it turns into a white bird)
High Aldwin: Go in the direction the bird is flying!
Burglekutt: It's going back to the village!
High Aldwin: Ignore the bird, follow the river.
NC: Blair Witch would be over a lot faster if they just did that. (shows an image from The Blair Witch Project)
NC (vo): They begin their journey, but the evil queen Bavmorda, played by Jean Marsh, sends her top Skeletor to find them.
(General Kael, wearing a skull mask, approaches the queen)
Bavmorda: Help my daughter find that tiny, helpless baby.
Kael: (removing his mask) The baby of the prophecy?
NC (vo): (as Kael) Sorry, just wanted to show I was (shows an image of...) the bald guy from Raiders. Okay, I'm good.
(We cut back to Willow, who is lifted up by a man in a cage)
Madmartigan: Give me some water, peck.
NC (vo): Our heroes make it to the crossroads, but they also discover a prisoner named Madmartigan, played by Val Kilmer.
Madmartigan: Water.
Willow: (nodding frantically) Yeah.
Madmartigan: Hurry up!
Meegosh: He's looking right at us.
NC (vo): (as Willow) Ah, I'd better do as he says or he'll... stay in that cage-- wait, why are we negotiating?
Madmartigan: Let me out of here, I'll take care of the baby. (makes kisses towards the baby)
NC (vo): I'll admit, when I first saw this movie, I didn't even recognize Val Kilmer... which, yeah, I was 6 and didn't even know who Val Kilmer was, but when I did later, I didn't connect him back to this film. All that hair and makeup and, again, a unique performance from what I usually saw of him really did just make me see this character.
Willow: We can't give her to him!
Meegosh: Somebody put him there for a reason!
Burglekutt: I trust him completely.
Willow: Burglekutt, you're troll dung.
Madmartigan: Don't let him talk to you that way, Burglekutt!
NC (vo): All of them except Meegosh, played by David Steinberg, say they're fine leaving the baby with him, and head back. Everyone who crosses their path isn't interested in the baby, though, however, Madmartigan meets an old friend named Airk*.
* = Throughout the review, Critic pronounces this character's name as "ahh-rik" instead of "air-kh".
Airk: I still serve Delegorn. You serve no-one. Sit in your coffin and rot.
NC (vo): Well, half-friend.
Madmartigan: (as the army rides away) When I get out of here, I'm gonna cut your head off and stick it on a pig pole!
NC (vo): It is impressive that Kilmer spends ten minutes of this movie in that tiny cage and yet he's still energetic and doesn't in any way feel limited by it.
Madmartigan: Let me out of here. I'll take care of the baby, I swear/Let me borrow that spear, just... for... a minute.
NC: Johnny Depp is watching this, thinking "Hey, I can take this and push it to... tiresome". (shows a poster for Dead Men Tell No Tales)
Madmartigan: You want to get back to your families, I want out of this cage. Let me take care of that baby, I'll look after her like she was my own.
NC (vo): He manages to convince them he wants to look after the baby, and he ventures forth to... I guess he never said where he lived or where he was going. Ah, well, I'm sure it was still a wise choice--
(In the next scene, a brownie named Franjean flies overhead on a hawk, carrying the baby)
Franjean: I stole a baby! I stole a baby!
NC: Why do I get an image of Madmartigan just tossing the baby, and the bird picking it up mid-air?
(Willow and Meegosh are captured and tied up by the brownies)
NC (vo): They're attacked by creatures called brownies, which I think you'd have to have a few in order to see, and they "Gulliver's Travels" them in effects that, okay, are a little obvious, but for 1988, are still damn impressive.
(A bright light shines through the forest, and a woman's voice is heard from it)
Cherlindrea: Welcome to my kingdom.
NC (vo): They're approached by a mysterious force named--
(Text displaying Cherlindrea's name is shown)
NC (vo): Yeah, my dyslexic ass isn't pronouncing that, I'm calling her Cheryl.
(The onscreen text is shortened to Cherl)
NC (vo): ...who says the baby's name is Elora, and she must be taken to a sorceress who will take her to a good king and queen. Why can't she take her instead of Willow?
NC: Um... pretty. (shows a clip of the fairies)
NC (vo): Willow says he needs to go on this mission alone, and sends Meegosh home. Two of the brownies accompany him, though - one of them played by Kevin Pollack - but they don't seem to be welcome in many places.
First attendee: Get out of here, peck!
Second attendee: Get out of here, or we'll cook ya!
NC: (as second attendee) We already got fresh hobbit on the stove!
NC (vo): The brownies fight over a love potion the fairies gave them, and, yeah, you're gonna wish Meegosh was the companion who stuck around.
(One of the brownies, Rool, is intoxicated with the love potion and approaches a cat)
Rool: Your eyes... I have to kiss you!
NC: (as Rool) Imagine what the children will look like, millions will be erotically confused! (shows images of Cheetara from ThunderCats, Miss Kitty from Monkeybone, and Kitty Katswell from T.U.F.F. Puppy)
(The cat meows, scaring Rool onto a girder)
NC (vo): (as Rool) Maybe this is why I was extradited from The Borrowers.
(Willow enters a room and sees two women, one in a white dress and one in a pink dress)
Woman: My husband's coming!
(The woman in the pink dress turns around, revealing to be Madmartigan in drag)
Madmartigan: How do I look?
Woman: Cover your face!
Willow: (seeing Madmartigan) Not you!
NC: Wow, he really was Johnny Depp before Johnny Depp. (shows images of Johnny Depp in drag, from the films Ed Wood and Before Night Falls)
(The woman's husband is now in the room, and Madmartigan is covering his lower face with a shawl)
Woman: This is my husband, Llug.
Madmartigan: (in falsetto voice) Big husband.
(Llug circles around Madmartigan, chuckling sinisterly)
NC (vo): (as Llug) I like a woman with an 11pm shadow.
(Bavmorda's daughter Sorsha and her army arrive at the bar)
Sorsha: You. Are you the mother of that child?
NC (vo): They're approached by the queen's men, led by her daughter Sorsha, played by Joanne Whalley, and I think this moment is supposed to be serious, but man, does it make me laugh.
Sorsha: Let me see it.
Willow: No, don't let her!
(Sorsha kicks Willow to the ground)
NC: (snickers) Could the staging be a bit less Muppet Show? (shows a clip of Miss Piggy hitting Kermit)
NC (vo): They manage to escape, though, and outrun the soldiers.
Madmartigan: (walking away) You better clear out, Willow, before those troops come back.
NC: (as Madmartigan) I'm gonna try out for the matchmaker in Mulan. (shows an image of Madmartigan and an image of the matchmaker)
NC (vo): Despite his attitude, Willow does realize Madmartigan is a good fighter and could use him on his journey.
Madmartigan: (to the brownies) I am hungry. Go get me some eggs or something.
Franjean: We are not afraid of you!
Madmartigan: Now!
(The brownies retreat into the grass)
NC (vo): Davis is like, "Hey, as long as I'm not the tiny comic relief this time".
Willow: We made it.
Franjean: We have led you to the island of the sorceress Fin Raziel.
NC (vo): They make their way to the island where they agree to part ways. And in yet another bizarre parenting choice, Willow leaves Elora with the brownies while he rows to the island.
Franjean: We will guard her with our meager lives.
NC: Yes, the bite-sized tribe of Yahoo Serious is no doubt a deadly one. (shows an image of Franjean next to an image of Yahoo Serious)
(We cut to black, followed by a commercial break. When we return to the review, Willow has arrived on Raziel's island and finds Raziel, who is trapped in animal form)
NC (vo): He's somewhat let down when the great sorceress named Fin Raziel, played by Patricia Hayes, is actually a wombat*.
* = In this first form, Raziel is actually a common brushtail possum.
Willow: I've come to find the great sorceress.
Raziel: (with a high-pitched voice) That's me. I'm Raziel.
Willow: This can't be right!
NC: (Yoda voice) Judge me by my singing horse effects from Three Amigos, do you? (shows a clip of that exact scene)
NC (vo): She says the evil queen transformed her, and, hey, our Fellowship can be even more adorable, why not invite her along? However, it looks like Madmartigan is captured again...
Sorsha: Lose your skirt?
Madmartigan: Still got what counts.
Sorsha: Not for long.
NC: (showing images of Madmartigan) I swear, every time he's caught, it looks more and more like an OnlyFans request for him.
NC (vo): ...and our heroes are once again taken prisoner. Raziel helps Willow perform a spell, but it just transforms her into a crow.
Raziel: (annoyed) Farmers! Cherlindrea sends me farmers!
NC: (waving it off) Oh, some batwing broth will fix that up.
NC (vo): Madmartigan gets hit with the love potion, though, and - you guessed it - falls in love with Willow. No, no, this isn't (shows an image from...) Lord of the Rings, he falls in love with Sorsha.
(Madmartigan approaches Sorsha, who is sleeping in her bed)
Madmartigan: Wake from this hateful sleep. It deprives me of your beauty.
NC: (as Madmartigan) Her hair is almost as long and beautiful as mine.
(Sorsha pulls out a dagger and presses it to Madmartigan's crotch)
Sorsha: One move, jackass, and you really will be a woman.
NC: Her humor is very "cut-off-dick"-based, isn't it?
NC (vo): But here's a shocker, she gets turned on by Val Kilmer confessing his love for her.
Madmartigan: Your touch is worth a hundred-thousand deaths.
(Sorsha lowers the knife from his throat and leans in to kiss him, but is interrupted by Kael)
Kael: What goes on here?
NC (vo): (as Sorsha; scoffs) Nothing anymore, Val-blocker!
(Madmartigan slices a support beam and causes the tent to collapse)
NC (vo): They manage to fight their way out...
Willow: (seeing Madmartigan fight) You are great!
(Madmartigan smiles and twirls his sword; it's accompanied by the text "Martigan Mint - The Great Maker" in Mentos font)
NC (vo): (as ad announcer) Martigan - The Great Maker.
(Madmartigan uses a shield as a sled; he and Willow sit down on it)
NC (vo): ...and they end up going shield-sledding.
(They sled down the mountain, and Willow is noticeably replaced at the front by a crudely-made mannequin)
NC: Oh no, one of Willow's spells turned him into an Annabelle doll! (shows the close-up of the stunt dummy)
NC (vo): Madmartigan falls off, Willow crashes into a village, and--
Willow: (with a look of shock) Madmartigan...
NC: (waving his hands) Okay, I know the type of film I'm watching, but whenever this scene plays...
(Madmartigan, encased in a giant cylinder of snow, rolls down the mountain towards the village)
Basil (from Fawlty Towers): Well, Mr. Chairman, it's just that most of the members in Staffordshire feel... whole thing's a bit silly.
(The ball of snow crashes into a hut)
NC (vo): The soldiers follow him, so they find a place to hide, ironically bumping into Airk, also finding a place to hide.
(Sorsha sneaks into the hut, and is quickly grabbed by Madmartigan)
NC (vo): For once, THEY actually capture someone, as they take Sorsha prisoner.
(Madmartigan and Sorsha are shown to be riding on the same horse)
Sorsha: You said you loved me. Because I'm your sun, your moon, your starlight sky?
NC (vo): (as Madmartigan) Oh my god, did I say that? I'M falling in love with myself!
NC: I will say, for such a bizarre setup, these two do surprisingly have chemistry.
(A montage of Madmartigan and Sorsha is shown)
NC (vo): It's one of the few times a couple both loving and hating each other actually kinda works. If he was under the spell most of the time, that'd get old, but it wears off, and he isn't sure if it's still in his system. That, combined with Sorsha's mixed feelings about her mother, does make this weirdly believable and fun to watch.
Willow: Madmartigan, come on!
NC (vo): She gets away, though, however, our heroes make it to the king and queen. But they discover everyone is (accompanied by the Suburban Commando line) "frozen today", yeah, you get it. Willow tries using his magic again, but turns Raziel into a goat.
Raziel: Willow... you idiot!
NC: (as Willow) (reaching into his pocket) Oh, gee, I'm sorry; can you hold these acorns?
(Critic mimes tossing acorns at the camera; Raziel's scream (provided by NC) is heard, accompanied by an explosion sound)
NC (vo): The army approaches, and I love the fact that what stops them is literally just locking the door.
(Madmartigan barricades the door just as the army approaches it)
NC: (snickers) That is just so basic, the aliens from Signs are like...
(An image of an alien from Signs is shown)
NC (vo): (as alien) "Yeah, now try being allergic to water as well! Not so easy, is it?!"
(Willow is accosted by a... very simian-looking troll)
NC (vo): It looks like there's trolls in the castle, too... not the best effect; it looks like (shows images of...) the Land of the Lost monkey got jizzed on by Ivan Ooze. But Willow...
(We see the troll go through a horrifying transformation after being hit by Willow's spell)
NC: (surprised) ...1980s PG's it up!
(The troll transforms into a giant hydra, which attacks the castle)
NC (vo): It turns into a different type of monster, though, as Madmartigan basically tries Home Alone-ing the castle.
(The hydra breathes fire at the army)
NC (vo): Again, the keying effects aren't always great, but this is still pretty well-animated and intimidating.
(Madmartigan jumps onto the hydra)
Phil (from Kingdom Hearts II): (audio only) Get up on the hydra's back! Get up on the hydra's back!
NC (vo): I should point out, by the way, the official name of this monster is the "Eborsisk" (shows the monster's page on Willow Wiki), and in case you're wondering, (shows the "two thumbs down" verdict from Siskel and Ebert) no, they didn't like this movie.
(Madmartigan duels a soldier while standing on a catapult; the rope is sliced, sending him flying into the air)
NC (vo): There is something really funny about these two fighting this whole army off, just both being clever and really stupid at the same time.
(Willow pushes a line of soldiers into a doorway, and they fall backwards into the room. Kael rides in, dubbed by Skeletor)
Skeletor: (audio only) Fight or I'll turn you into a suitcase! Eh, who does that cabbage think he is?
(Sorsha arrives, helps Madmartigan up, and kisses him)
NC (vo): Sorsha finally decides screw it, she'll be his huckleberry, he stabs the beast in its head, causing its head to blow up...
(The Eborsisk's head does indeed explode)
NC: (as if trying to come up with an excuse) We don't know the anatomy of this thing, maybe that's how it works!
NC (vo): But the General takes Elora... (shows a closeup of the same shot) or this Raggedy-Ann doll standing in for Elora.
Willow: Elora's gone! They've taken her!
NC (vo): (as Sorsha) Oh, I can't help but feel partly responsible for this.
(We cut to black, and when we return, we are in Bavmorda's throne room)
Bavmorda: Prepare for the ritual!
NC (vo): Elora is taken to the queen, but our heroes, along with Airk's army, are following close behind.
Bavmorda: You're pigs!
(Madmartigan doubles over in pain)
Bavmorda: You're all pigs!
(We get a closeup of Madmartigan's hand, transforming into the hoof of a pig. When we cut back to Bavmorda, she is snorting like a pig)
NC: (snickers) Okay, we're already snickering...
NC (vo): ...[at] turning the army into Oscar Meyer...
NC: ...do we really need the snorting to make it goofier?
(Bavmorda's snorting is replayed)
NC: (regains his composure) Yes, we do.
(Madmartigan stands up, his face transforming into that of a pig's, complete with a squeal)
NC: And to think, some part of Val Kilmer said, "I wouldn't mind revisiting this." (shows the poster for The Island of Dr. Moreau)
NC (vo): The queen begins her ritual to destroy the baby - (shows an image from 300) what, are there no Spartan cliffs in this kingdom? - but Willow continues to try and bring Raziel back to her real form, leading to some early morphing effects.
Willow: Locktwaar danalora luatha danu...
(After many transformations, Raziel stands up, finally in her human form: she is an old woman)
NC: (as Willow; disgusted) Eugh, I turned you into the lady from The Shining!
NC (vo): She transforms the army back to human, and they try to figure out a way into the castle.
(As the sun rises over the mountains, Bavmorda is still going through the ceremony)
Bavmorda: Ocht veth bordak!
NC (vo): Wow, that baby-killing ceremony really takes a while, doesn't it? Could've turned her into a pig and had pork tenderloin at this point.
(Outside the castle, Willow and Raziel stand alone)
Raziel: We call upon you to surrender!
(From the top of the castle, the army laughs at them)
NC (vo): (as soldier) Shoot two arrows at them-- (the drawbridge lowers) or open our doors and leave them open; again, not the brightest evil fortress.
(Airk's army emerges from sheets covering holes in the ground)
NC (vo): The army rises from holes they dug - again, I guess none of the guards were really looking out over anything while they were digging that - and they invade the castle. And I just love the bizarre, nonthreatening way the queen says the name of her returned archenemy.
(Raziel opens the door, and Bavmorda looks up)
Bavmorda: (dully) Rahhh-zelll.
NC: That is the most Mean Girls way to say something-- (imitates Bavmorda) "Rahhh-zellllll".
Sorsha: Mother!
Bavmorda: Traitor child! I must despise you now.
NC: That's also kind of a Mean Girls phrase; (continues earlier imitation) "I must despise you now".
Bavmorda: Your powers have gained in strength, Raziel.
NC (vo): (as Bavmorda) (showing an image from Return to Oz) Oh, I really should get one of my other heads to deal with this.
(Bavmorda picks up fire and throws it at Raziel)
Bavmorda: Furrochk flarem!
NC (vo): (as Bavmorda) Ha! You thought you could interrupt the mere TWELVE HOURS left of me killing this baby?
(While Raziel and Bavmorda fight, Willow sneaks around)
NC (vo): Willow rushes in to help as the General kills off Airk.
Madmarigan: Airk!
(After running Airk through, Kael shouts in triumph, then walks off)
NC: (confused) What was that?
NC (vo): Did he have an Uber waiting during that battle cry?
(The clip is replayed, with a horn honking sound effect added in)
NC (vo): (as Kael) Alright, alright, sorry about the ride, Cher; this is what you get for trying to save a couple bucks. (normal) It also doesn't help that Airk doesn't exactly die the best.
(Airk's death is shown, with very sloppy acting)
NC: (showing a clip from Zootopia) Thank you, acting school of 5-year-old Judy Hopps.
NC (vo): He (Madmartigan), of course, takes his revenge on the General in, honestly, a pretty cool finishing move.
(Madmartigan steps on the hilt of a sword and pulls Kael towards it; the blade goes through his stomach, impaling him)
NC: That is still one of the gooiest stabs I ever heard!
(We cut back to Bavmorda and Raziel fighting)
NC (vo): And I love for all the knowledge and magic and sorcery these two are using, sometimes you just gotta punch a bitch.
(Raziel punches Bavmorda in the face three times; the third one taking them both to the ground)
NC (vo): (as Bavmorda) Hey, you broke my weird Batgirl hat!
Willow: (facing down Bavmorda) I'm a great sorcerer!
NC (vo): Willow uses the magic acorns on her that start to work, but suddenly fizzle.
NC: And I know this... (brushes off his shoulder) wasn't a thing yet, but this is still pretty damn close.
Bavmorda: (shaking the dust out of her hand) Is that the extent of your powers, little one?
NC: (as Willow) Does any of what this character built up have a payoff?
NC (vo): He uses one of his magic tricks to fool her, making her think he made the baby vanish. This causes her to lose her balance and send herself into the Netherworld. Yeah, a little forced, but I like the idea of him using a magic trick to fool a powerful sorcerer; it's a solid idea. Speaking of solid, all the people in the previous castle are broken out of their shells, including the king and queen, and order is restored.
(Sorsha comes down to Willow)
NC (vo): (as Sorsha) I suppose I should answer for my countless war crimes, but my dress and hair are so pretty now, I must be good!
(Willow is shown returning to his village)
NC (vo): Willow heads back home to a hero's welcome, and he's reunited with his family. This leads to the final epic line of...
(The final shot of the film is shown, and the credits start rolling)
NC (vo): ...absolutely nothing!
NC: Okay, the third act's a little rushed, but honestly, I still think this film's a lot of fun.
(A montage of the film is shown as Critic gives his closing thoughts)
NC (vo): Everything meets the standards its establishing without necessarily surpassing it. That is, except for the pacing, which, even during the weaker moments, still kept my interest. And as I mentioned before, the acting. Warwick Davis is a wonderful lead, everybody's doing their best to play their roles either in a believable way or an entertaining way, and I know it sounds weird, but I really do love Val Kilmer in this. I know it's weird focusing on this film, seeing how he's done much better performances, but I really do think this one's underrated. For a role that doesn't really offer anything that new, he does bring a unique energy to it that makes someone who should be generic very fun and interesting. I feel like he really gave his all in this performance, and, let's be honest, he could've coasted if he wanted, and I think it still would've turned out okay. It shows how much effort he put into this performance, and also how much effort a lot of people put into this little, yet memorable, fantasy adventure.
NC: I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to.
Channel Awesome tagline - Queen Bavmorda: Raziel!