(The Disneycember logo is shown, before showing clips from Disney’s Underdog. Clips from the original cartoon play at one point as well)
Doug (vo): It's Underdog. I know a lot of you are expecting me to hate this one, but you might be surprised to find out, you're right, I hate it. No twist on this one, it's shit. This isn't even a "so bad, it's good" movie, it's just boring, dull, and dumb. I guess I knew a little bit about Underdog. They ran a few reruns on Nickelodeon back in the day, and all I really remember is it took place in a world kind of like Tiny Toons, where people and animals just kind of walked around, and there's a superhero named Underdog, who is just kind of a dog Superman before, you know, Dog Superman. (An image of the then-upcoming film, DC League of Super-Pets, is shown) Aside from that, all I remember is the catchy-as-hell theme song, which I think everybody remembers. That's one of the few fun moments in this movie, just hearing that theme song, even if it's done by whatever band of the day was popular. It's still a great theme song. Aside from that, from what I can tell, there's very little that connects to the cartoon, because this isn't a world where people and animals just walk side-by-side, it's just the human world. the boring-ass human world that's not shot in a way that's interesting or told in a way that's interesting. They just want to do a "boy and his dog" movie, except the dog is a superhero. Lame balls.
Story[]
Doug (vo): It opens on a beagle who works for the police, sniffing out bombs, but he isn't very good at it. His nose just finds other things, like ham and stuff like that, so he's mocked all the time by the other dogs. But this evil mad scientist and his assistant, played by Peter Dinklage and Patrick Warburton...and like most bad films with Peter Dinklage or Patrick Warburton, they are the only good part of the movie...kidnap the dog to run experiments on him, and, of course, it gives him superpowers. Though he escapes, he has nowhere to go, until he comes across a cop, played by James Belushi. He has a son who, tell me if you heard this, is awkward at school and has a girl he wants to ask out, but is too nervous to do so. Once he discovers the dog can talk, they form a very strong friendship, and, of course, the dog works on his confidence while the boy helps him become a superhero. But the bad guys return and, something, something, manipulate the dog into thinking the boy didn't love him, it was only for his superpowers...do you even need to know?
Review[]
Doug (vo): This is one of the most uninteresting, recycled Disney movies I've seen in a while, and, yes, there's a lot of them. I really did think, though, this would be one of those that would be passionately bad, like, the effects would be so bad, they'd be funny, or the acting would be so bad, it'd be funny. It's just every textbook cliche with nothing new or interesting added. The dog is boring, the kid is boring, the action is boring. James Belushi, at first I thought was gonna be a nice team-up with this dog, he seems to have a lot of heart. But he's quickly taken out of the picture when they introduce the son, and it's mostly about him, and... (Chuckles) ...he's sadly not that great an actor.
Jack Unger: Shoeshine, no. I told you no! It's time to teach you some manners.
Doug (vo): I guess, to the film's credit, neither is the dog. I mean, hearing his voice is kind of grating, and it never sounds like he's really into whatever he's saying.
Shoeshine (Jason Lee): Friends? Friends? I don't want to be friends. I'm looking to settle down, to find Mrs. Right. Yeah, she could be Polly Shoeshine.
(Footage focusing on the film's villains is shown)
Doug (vo): There's two things that are okay in this movie. One I mentioned before, Peter Dinklage and Patrick Warburton, because, again, it's Peter Dinklage and Patrick Warburton. They have such a unique way of delivering their lines, and it doesn't matter what they're in, they're always gonna add this level of liveliness that you don't get from anyone else. I really appreciate that even in goddamn Underdog, they're bringing their A-material.
(A scene is shown, showing Cad Lackey (Warburton) attempting to visit Jack's house)
Cad Lackey: I'm looking for my beagle. He, uh, does tricks and stuff.
Jack: I haven't seen him.
(Clattering noises are heard)
Cad: What was that?
Jack: My grandpa. He's blind.
Cad: You're making your blind grandfather move a couch?
(Clips showcasing the film's animal lip movement effects are shown, as well as clips from Babe: Pig in the City)
Doug (vo): The other is, I was really surprised at the mouth moving effects. I mean, yeah, how many times have we seen this in kids' movies, where they just take an animal with a blank expression and they just move the mouth around? Quite a few. But in this one, it doesn't look quite as fake, at least with the mouth movements. Something about the textures and the way it moves with the rest of the head almost looks like they're really talking...eh, almost. You can still tell it's CG, but it does look better than other movies that have tried this. With that said, they never train the animals to look like they're actually engaged in what they're saying. And I know what you're thinking, "They're animals. They're not supposed to, and you're used to this, right? Just these animals that look totally clueless and they just throw in a bunch of random lines and we're supposed to believe they're really saying this stuff or thinking this stuff?" But I don't know. Have you ever seen the Babe movies, especially the second one? The second one gets really dark, twisted, and emotional, and, by God, they trained these animals to really make it look like they're saying what they're saying. And to this day, I don't know how they trained these things to look so convincing, even with the mouth movements looking a lot faker than in this film.
Poodle (from Babe: Pig in the City): Those that have had their way with me make their empty promises, but they're all lies. Lies.
Babe: Whatever. I'm cold.
Doug (vo): So even on that level, this movie's unimpressive.
Final thought[]
Doug (vo): So, yeah, it doesn't work as a superhero movie, it doesn't work as a “boy and his dog” movie, it doesn't even work as an adaptation. I mean, the setup is almost entirely different. It's just bad, not even a "watch it on Disney+ to see how awful it is for laughs" bad, it's just...bad-bad. If you're a fan of the original cartoon, awesome, but if you're looking for a big screen adaptation that's really gonna win you over, there's no need to fear, Underdog...sucks balls.
(A scene showing Shoeshine and Jack flying together is shown)