US-1 5

US-1 #5
Released	September 14, 2015
Running time	18:16
Previous review	Team Youngblood 1
Next review	The Star Wars 2
Tagline	Reminding you that every single person who participates in a race cheats in some capacity.
Link	http://atopthefourthwall.com/us-1-5/#

Linkara: (wearing a cowboy hat and speaking in a cowboy drawl) Hello, and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. I reckon it's time for truckin' again. I'm just sorry I'm not wearing my trucker headband.

(Cut to black)

Linkara (v/o): Previously on "US-1"...

(A montage of clips of the fourth issue of "US-1" is shown)

Linkara (v/o): Ulysses Solomon Archer, AKA U.S. 1, was challenged by Baron Von Blimp, an agent of the demonic Highwayman, to a race. Naturally, with a name like Von Blimp, you shouldn't be surprised that his vehicle was... a biplane. Nah, I'm kidding. He had his own dirigible, which he used to try to kill U.S., but we got to see U.S. actually intelligent and plan ahead, creating new technology to prepare himself for the battle, making his already ludicrous rig into a full-fledged battle wagon, with surface-to-air missiles, radar tracking technology, and even use his CB skull to hack into radio transmissions. Also, chickens were involved somewhere in there.

Linkara: So let's dig into (holds up today's comic) "US-1 #5" and see what sort of ridiculousness we have in store for us this time.

(AT4W title sequence plays, and title card has "Uptown Funk" by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars playing in the background. Cut to a closeup of the comic's cover)

Linkara (v/o): Nothing like seeing a comic from the '80s to make you really appreciate classic cover design that actually informs you of what's going on in a comic. Don't get me wrong, this cover is not the most spectacular thing ever, but it tells you exactly what to expect in this: a giant maze that U.S. 1 will have to traverse that features glaciers, tornadoes and volcanoes. It's not just the characters' posing or something; it actually tells you what to expect in this comic.

Text: FACING THE MAZE!

Linkara (v/o): Yyyyeah, and speaking of facing the maze, is the truck falling into the maze? Because it's at a weird angle and I'm pretty sure his rig can't fly.

Linkara: Yet, anyway. I know, it's coming up eventually. We haven't reached peak insanity for this series yet.

Linkara (v/o): We open on Baron Von Blimp's dirigible floating over the North Atlantic shortly after the last issue... and apparently flying higher than a passenger jet. I would critique this fact, since blimps, while capable of rising up to 10,000 feet, normally would not do so, since it would mean releasing so much fuel that the return trip down would be a lot bumpier, so it's usually more than 2,000 to 3,000 feet. But, this is comic book science, in a book where a guy can control a truck with a silver dollar, so really, this is the least of its problems.

Baron: Ulysses Solomon Archer vill pay for subjectink my beautiful zeppelin to za ravages uf nature--

Linkara: Dude, that water damage was (points to camera) your fault. This is what happens when you don't clean out your gutters.

Baron: --und from za ravages uf zose escaped chickens...

Linkara: Not a good sign for your recurring villain when he's easily bested by poultry.

Linkara (v/o): Back over to U.S., he and Retread are trying to do what I suggested last time: pick up the signal of the homing device planted on the Baron, but either it's been knocked off or it's out of range. And since they can't find the Baron, they might as well finish the job they had started with their little contest and drop off the cargo of chickens, who are probably all very spooked by now thanks to all the bombs dropping.

Linkara: Oh, yeah, and of course, there are all those chickens who were left out to die in the desert. Good work with that.

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