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'''Mary:''' Because working at this resort means getting paid and having a vacation at the ''same time'', Mom. Besides, we're going to be ''waiting'' tables, not ''dancing'' on them.
  
'''Mary:''' Because working at this resort means getting paid and having a vacation at the ''same time'', Mom. Besides, we're going to be ''waiting'' tables, not ''dancing'' on them.
   
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'''Linkara:''' Uh, I'm pretty sure that nothing she said implied you we're going to do that, Mary.
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'''Linkara:''' Uh, I'm pretty sure that nothing she said implied you were going to do that, Mary.
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'''Linkara (v/o):''' You know, looking at this panel, featuring the whole family, is it just me, or are they all the same age?
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'''Another woman [mother of someone named Ben]:''' You just ''be careful'', Ben, honey. Just promise me you'll stay away from ''alcohol'' and ''cigarettes'' and all those terrible fast and loose ''women'' in that place.
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'''Linkara:''' ''(as Ben's mother)'' I raised my son to be monogamous and ''gay'', dammit!
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'''Man [father of someone named May]:''' Don't you forget to go to ''mass'' now, May. I've written down the name of the ''church'' and the times of all the ''services'' so I don't want any ''excuses'', you get me?
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'''Linkara:''' ''(as May's father)'' I didn't pay to have that tracking device installed in your head for ''nothing'', dammit!
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'''May:''' It's ''okay'', Dad. Mary's Mom already called ahead and arranged for the local ''parish priest'' to meet the two of us off the ''bus''.
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'''Linkara:''' This is gonna become the plot of a satanic cult movie, isn't it?
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'''Ben's brother:''' Ah, take it ''easy'', Mom. Ben's ''gay'', didn't you know? Worst case scenario is he comes home with a six foot ''Swedish guy'' with a secret crush on ''Pop!''
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'''Linkara:''' ''(confused)'' Guys aren't allowed to like pop music? Hmm, explains why [[ToddInTheShadows|Todd]] is so angry all the time.
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'''Ben's father:''' Ha ha ha! You ''hear'' that, Ben? You hear what your ''brother'' just said? I swear to God, that boy's so funny he should be on TV.
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''(Cut to a clip of the ''Mystery Science Theater 3000'' gang watching ''Hobgoblins'', showing Kevin arriving at his house)''
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'''Crow:''' Ah-hah! And what brisk witticism will this chappie have to offer?
   
 
'''This guide is not complete. Please finish.'''
  
'''This guide is not complete. Please finish.'''

Revision as of 05:26, 17 May 2019

Trouble #1

Trouble 1 at4w

Released
January 19, 2015
Running time
22:04
Previous review
Next review
Tagline
When you name your comic imprint "EPIC," truly nothing signifies that better than... a romance comic.
Link

Linkara: Hello, and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. Well, I warned everyone we'd be doing this as a follow-up to "Marville". As you may have noticed, I have not begun this review (holds up a huge bottle of alcohol) drunk off my ass, and that's because unlike "Marville", I don't know what I'm walking into here.

(Cut to shots of the covers of the "Marville" series)

Linkara (v/o): Seriously, I only know three things about "Trouble". One, it's pretty universally reviled. I know it's not as bad as "Marville" was, but that's because, unlike "Marville", it actually has a story and a focus.

(Cut to a shot of the cover of a comic called "All True Romance")

Linkara (v/o): Which brings us to two: it's an attempt to bring back romance comics.

Linkara: And as you can tell by the dozens of romance comics I've reviewed before today, that it was an unparalleled success in that regard. (gives a thumbs-up and smiles)

Linkara (v/o): And three... well, I don't want to spoil that for you. It's better if you guys experience it firsthand. That being said, this whole thing is the reason why so many people have requested I review it.

(Cut to a shot of the cover of another comic called "Bride's Secrets")

Linkara (v/o): Which does make me scratch my head. It's a retcon that was, of course, ignored after it happened, but it's not so awful a retcon that it would utterly ruin a character for all time if it was kept. It's just a really stupid idea that doesn't make any sense.

(Cut to a shot of the cover of another "Marville" comic)

Linkara (v/o): How could that alone condemn the entire story? Well, there are other things here that were poorly conceived.

Linkara: For starters, the writer of this thing is Mark Millar, the guy responsible for...

(Cut to a shot of the "Miller Time" title, but with the E in "Miller" scratched out and replaced with an A)

Linkara: (looking up) Okay, just because I made the joke (holds up index finger) that one time, and I forgot to do it last week, doesn't mean it's a thing! (rolls eyes and sighs) Anyway, Mark Millar of all people was tapped to write this. For your benefit, here's a short list of comics that Mark Millar has created...

(A montage of shots of comics by Millar is shown)

Linkara (v/o): "Wanted", a widely-panned series about supervillains having already conquered the world and is considered overly depressing and needlessly mean-spirited; "The Unfunnies", where children's cartoon characters discover more adult material, thanks to a murderous cartoonist who manages to get away with all his crimes without consequence; "Nemesis", a story where a supervillain kidnaps the children of a police officer, artificially inseminates the daughter using the son's sperm, then rigs her womb to completely collapse if she tries to have an abortion. Yes, seriously!

Linkara: Okay, okay, okay, I'm being a little facetious here. These were all written after "Trouble", and Mark Millar has just as many stories that are uplifting or generally positive and great as he does messed-up and thoroughly horrible. But you get my point, though, right? This is the guy you tap for reviving romance comics?

(A shot of a later issue of "Trouble" is shown, displaying that Millar also created "Kick-Ass")

Linkara (v/o): I mean, even the promotional material for "Trouble" pointed at the fact that Mark Millar had written "Kick-Ass".

(Cut to a shot of the cover of "Kick-Ass")

Linkara (v/o): And spoilers if you've only seen the movie: the comic version is considerably less pleasant than the film, with the romance subplot actually ending with the title character being rejected by his love interest and punched by her boyfriend. This is the guy that you decided would revive romance comics? This is the guy who you wanted to attract women to comics?

Linkara: But enough talk. Let's just dig into (holds up "Trouble #1") this first issue and see how much trouble we're in.

(AT4W title sequence plays; title card has the opening to Kenny Loggins' "Footloose" playing in the background; cut to a closeup of the comic's cover)

Linkara (v/o): And we're not off to a good start with the cover. You're probably wondering why it's a photo cover. I would love to know the same. Here's what I can tell you: French photographer Philippe Bialobos – with apologies to my French viewers for the pronunciation – was tapped to make these in the style of teen romance novels. Given they were trying to appeal to women outside of comic book stores, that sort of makes sense. However, given that a big focus of this series is people trying to have sex, I don't think "teen romance novels" were what they should have been going for. Really, this should've been some Fabio-looking dude on a pirate ship if they were looking for romance novel cover inspiration. Oh, yeah, and on the teen angle, probably not a good idea to what appear to be PREPUBESCENT GIRLS IN BIKINIS FRONT AND CENTER!

Linkara: Now, admittedly, I wasn't able to find confirmation of the ages of the models depicted here, but it's a bad sign for your romance comic when just picking the thing up makes you feel uncomfortable!

Linkara (v/o): We open "some years ago", where several people are getting ready to head out to the Hamptons.

Man [revealed as father to someone named Richie]: Well, I gotta say, Richie, you sure put a beautiful shine on this old Mustang...

Linkara: (as Richie's father) But don't you think you should return it to the guy you stole it from?

Richie's father: ...but you really think that engine's gonna take you boys all the way out to the Hamptons?

Richie: Pops, that engine could take us to the moon and back since I fixed it up.

Linkara: (as Richie, smiling) I did that, too! (beat) Man, there is really not a lot of oxygen up there.

Linkara (v/o): Some women have the same thing going on.

Woman [revealed as mother to someone named Mary]: Oh, Mary. Why do you have to go all this way just to make beds and serve dinner and pick up after people too lazy to pick up after themselves, honey?

Linkara: It's very rare to find a parent who encourages their kid to be a lazy slob.

Mary: Because working at this resort means getting paid and having a vacation at the same time, Mom. Besides, we're going to be waiting tables, not dancing on them.

Linkara: Uh, I'm pretty sure that nothing she said implied you were going to do that, Mary.

Linkara (v/o): You know, looking at this panel, featuring the whole family, is it just me, or are they all the same age?

Another woman [mother of someone named Ben]: You just be careful, Ben, honey. Just promise me you'll stay away from alcohol and cigarettes and all those terrible fast and loose women in that place.

Linkara: (as Ben's mother) I raised my son to be monogamous and gay, dammit!

Man [father of someone named May]: Don't you forget to go to mass now, May. I've written down the name of the church and the times of all the services so I don't want any excuses, you get me?

Linkara: (as May's father) I didn't pay to have that tracking device installed in your head for nothing, dammit!

May: It's okay, Dad. Mary's Mom already called ahead and arranged for the local parish priest to meet the two of us off the bus.

Linkara: This is gonna become the plot of a satanic cult movie, isn't it?

Ben's brother: Ah, take it easy, Mom. Ben's gay, didn't you know? Worst case scenario is he comes home with a six foot Swedish guy with a secret crush on Pop!

Linkara: (confused) Guys aren't allowed to like pop music? Hmm, explains why Todd is so angry all the time.

Ben's father: Ha ha ha! You hear that, Ben? You hear what your brother just said? I swear to God, that boy's so funny he should be on TV.

(Cut to a clip of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 gang watching Hobgoblins, showing Kevin arriving at his house)

Crow: Ah-hah! And what brisk witticism will this chappie have to offer?

This guide is not complete. Please finish.

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