Trollz

Trollz
Date Aired	July 14, 2020
Running Time	15:43
Previous Review	Two the Hard Way
Next Review	TBA
Website	https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mue7pBskPj4

Todd fumbles through "Trollz" on the piano.

NICKI MINAJ & 6IX9INE - TROLLZ

A pop song review

Todd: I-I didn't bother to learn how to play this one. [sighs] Alright, we have to talk about 6ix9ine.

Clip of 6ix9ine - "STOOPID"

6ix9ine: Bitch I'm silly

Up the chopper, shoot your shit up

Todd (VO): Actually, no, we don't have to talk about him at all. In fact, some people will tell you that we shouldn't talk about him in the hopes that if we ignore him, he'll go away.

Todd: Yeah.

Clip of Billboard News video on 6ix9ine getting to number 1

Host: 6ix9ine and Nicki Minaj's "Trollz" blasts in at Number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 songs chart.

Todd: Yeah, it doesn't look like it'll be that easy.

Clip of "STOOPID"

6ix9ine: Bitch, are you dumb d-dumb dumb dumb, d-dumb dumb dumb

Todd (VO): I mean, 6ix9ine with a Number 1 song. That's insane to me.

Todd: If you don't understand why that's stange, 6ix9ine is probably the most controversial artist alive.

Clip of Me Too survivors' march

Todd (VO): I mean, we call this point in time the "Me Too Era", and yet here we are, still [screenshot of VladTV article "Tekashi 6ix9ine Pleads Guilty to 3 Counts of Sexual Misconduct with Minor"] out here handing Number 1 hits to convicted sex offenders.

Todd: The name of the song is [image of the cover of...] "Trollz", which [clip of 6ix9ine ft. Nicki Minaj - "TROLLZ"] considering 6ix9ine's career, that's a pretty fitting title. And it's a duet with Nicki Minaj, who... [clip of Nicki Minaj - "Stupid Hoe"] has spent most of her career trolling. [clip of "TROLLZ"] Yeah, and they go all in on being trollishly provocative with this one. Especially in the video, with Nicki's titties hanging out everywhere.

Nicki Minaj: I know you don't like me, you wanna fight me

Todd: By the way, since I'm doing sponsored videos now, I shouldn't forget to mention that today's video is sponsored by [image of...] Pop-Tarts. [clip of vintage Pop-Tarts ad] Pop-Tarts. The toaster pastry you love at home or on-the-go comes in 2 new exciting flavors. [clip of "Trollz" with Pop-Tart boxes over Nicki's tits] Try new Froot Loops Pop-Tarts as well as Pretzel Cinnamon-Sugar Pop-Tarts for... [Todd's phone dings] Okay. I have just been told that no sponsors wanna be associated with this, and all my sponsorship deals are cancelled, and I'm banned for life from eating Pop-Tarts. Okay.

Clip of "TROLLZ"

Todd (VO): Well, in any case, a lot of people would like 6ix9ine to be disappeared from the face of the earth. And the name of the song is "TROLLZ". The conventional wisdom is that you don't feed the trolls.

Todd: In my experience, that does nothing. Unfortunately, I can't tell you what does work.

Todd (VO): I don't know how you solve a problem like 6ix9ine. Mostly I just wanna talk about it cause this guy's been weighing on my mind.

Todd: So this is less a review, and me just trying to track how we got here. [clip of 6ix9ine - "GOTTI"] How does a guy like this get a Number 1 hit? *sigh* Ok, here's where I'll start. You've probably noticed these last couple years [clips from "It", "American Horror Story: Cult" and "Joker"] America became obsessed with evil clowns. Hell, we elected one of them president. [laugh track plays] Yes, yes, yes. Thank you.

Screenshot of CNN article "Creepy clown craze sweeps the globe"

Todd (VO): Well in any case, we loved evil clowns so much that we wanted them in our music.

Todd: I mean, yeah, I guess we have the Insane Clown Posse. But [clip of Insane Clown Posse - "Juggalo Island"] they turned out to be, like, actually pretty cool and decent human beings that everyone likes now. So to fill the position of evil clown rapper...

Clip of 6ix9ine - "BILLY"

Todd (VO): ...we eventually found this guy who looks like a medieval court jester who sells drugs. [clip of 6ix9ine - "KOODA"] Maybe, like, a minor character in The Warriors who's in a gang called "The Skittles" or something.

Clip of Uncle Murda ft. 50 Cent, 6ix9ine & Casanova - "Get The Strap"

6ix9ine: All y'all ni**as suck my dick

His name is Daniel Hernandez, better known as 6ix9ine. Or Tekashi 6ix9ine, [image of 6ix9ine t-shirt] 6-ix 9-ine. It's not pronounced sixty nine for the record...

Todd: ...so you can save your "Nice" jokes. Nothing nice about this.

Clip of 6ix9ine - "GUMMO"

6ix9ine: Ni**as iffy, uh, blicky got the stiffy, uh

Todd (VO): I checked out 6ix9ine in 2018 as he started really breaking through, and it was just the most offensive thing I'd ever heard.

Todd: Not, like, for any social justice reasons. I just mean just, like, sonically.

6ix9ine: In New York my ni**as don't Milly Rock, my ni**as money bop

Todd (VO): He sounds like [image of...] Gilbert Gottfried having his legs broken. And if he's got any decent rhymes, I wouldn't know. It just sounds like he's screaming giberish words he made up. And all his songs had nonsense titles [screenshot of DUMMY BOY on spotify] like "Blabo" or "Doodoo" or "Moba". But even though his actual lyrics are hard to decipher, it's easy to tell who he is, what his persona is.

Clip of "BILLY"

6ix9ine: Get the fuck up out my fucking face 'fore I murder you

It's-I mea-he's just total human garbage. That's what he wants to come off as. There's no exploration of "The Struggle" or life on the streets. He's just an unrepentant piece of shit with no redeeming qualities.

Todd: Now, I've been pretty up-front with the fact that I felt a tiny bit disconnected from Hip Hop these last few years. [clip of Lil Baby - "Woah"] I've actually had to spend time trying to re-train my ears so I don't get completely left behind. So this is gonna be weird for me to admit, but here it goes. I understood 6ix9ine's appeal right away. I got it immediately.

Clip of TRIPPIE REDD ft. 6ix9ine - "POLES1469"

Todd (VO): I'm not saying I like it. In fact, there are times where I'll tell you that no one has ever made a worse sound in the universe. But I get it.

Todd: I mean, if you don't like mumble rap, then uh, [clip of "BILLY"] this is not that.

Clip of "GUMMO"

6ix9ine: I pull up with a stick, I let that shit hit

Todd (VO): I don't know, Hip Hop used to be edgy and dangerous. You know, scare your parents.

Todd: And it isn't really that anymore.

Clip of Migos - "What's The Price"

Todd (VO): You know Migos, Kodak Black, they rap about killing people, selling drugs, no one cares. It's not controversial

Todd: Your mom listens to that driving home from church.

Clip of "BILLY"

Todd (VO): But 6ix9ine actually does scare and offend people in a way that not many people are pulling off anymore. So yeah, I can understand why he's popular with any Hip Hop fans who like to root for the bad-guy.

Todd: The thing is. 6ix9ine is...a bad guy. [screenshot of 6ix9ine's criminal charges] Like I said, he was convicted of sexual assault on a 13 year old. [image of Grace Vanderwaal] And to be clear, this is what a 13 year old girl looks like. Jesus Christ, that's pretty bad!

Clip of 6ix9ine's interview with DJ Akademiks

Todd (VO): For what it's worth, 6ix9ine only got probation for that. And he's got excuses for it. You know, "I didn't have sex with her, I was just around my buddies when they were having sex with her. And I was only 18 and I didn't know she was 13, and really, what is rape when you think about it." [screenshot of police report with "Daniel Hernandez, stands behind the child making a trusting motion with his pelvis and smacking her on her buttocks" highlighted] The actual police report says they have footage of 6ix9ine groping and grinding on this naked 8th grader.

Todd: Look, you can get caught in the weeds about whether it's fair or not to call him a "pedophile" because of this. But I think we can all agree, 6ix9ine learned his lesson and was never in trouble again.

Clip of VladTV interview with 6ix9ine's ex girlfriend, Sara Molina

Sara Molina: He punched me. Yeah, he punched me in my eye.

Todd (VO): That's a joke, obviously, since he's also been arrested for beating his girlfriend repeatedly. Like, really fucking badly. And according to her, she [sic] also forced her to have sex with him. [clip of TMZ video on 6ix9ine] And of course, he was a member of a violent criminal gang. So, just generally not a person to be rewarded with fame and riches. If there's any person on earth who should be an easy cancel, it's this guy.

Todd: But it turns out that cancelling very famous people is actually very hard.

Clip of Chris Brown ft. Drake - "No Guidance"

'Todd (VO):' I screamed for years that we should get rid of Chris Brown, how'd that work out for me? [Clip of "KOODA"] I especially didn't expect it to work on 6ix9ine. Like, calling him the horrible abusive monster...

Todd: ...is not gonna do anything, when his response is gonna be:

Todd (VO): "Yes, I'm a horrible abusive monster."

Todd: The only real abuser that's been booted out of music is R. Kelly.

Clip of R. Kelly CBS interview with Gayle King

Todd (VO): And he had to be an active practicing pedophile for 20 years. And more importantly, stop having hits.

Todd: For the most part, people who actually do lose their careers for being "problematic"...

Clips of "Blurred Lines" ft. T.I. & Pharrell Williams and "Fancy" ft. Charli XCX, by, respectively...

Todd (VO): ...are people like Robin Thicke or Iggy Azalea. Whose crimes were much lesser, but who no one really liked that much to begin with. [clip of 6ix9ine ft. Anuel AA - "BEBE"] 6ix9ine is still very lucrative, so he's been pretty insulated from any actual consequences.

Todd: Mostly.

Clip of 6ix9ine ft. DJ SpinKing - "TATI"

Todd (VO): After violating his probation about six dozen times, the authorities finally hit his entire gang for various crimes and attempted murders. [screenshot of complex article "Footage Appears to Prove 6ix9ine Was Involved in Shootings and Robberies"] Apparently, they got footage of 6ix9ine specifically committing crimes on camera. [image of 6ix9ine in court] No your honor, that's not me.

Todd: That must be some other [another image of 6ix9ine] living Rainbow Brite doll with a 69 face tattoo. Tekashi got his sentence reduced to only two years by [screenshot of Patch article "Tekashi 6ix9ine Dodges Decades In Prison By Flipping On Gang"] completely selling out every single one of his homies. [clip of TMZ Newsroom Today video on 6ix9ine] He also testified that he only joined the gang just for street cred to promote his music. And his role in the gang was basically just to give them his royalties. So basically he bough his friends.

Host: 6ix9ine is catching a lot of heat for what people are calling "snitching"

Todd (VO): So, everyone figured that was the end of him. It was kinda like Capone going down for tax evasion, but you know, yeah. If we can't cancel him for abuse, he can at least lose all his cred. Now everyone knows he's a dirty rat, he violated the "code of the streets."

Todd: I'd like to see Tekashi wriggle his way outta this jam. [screenshot of TMZ article "TEKASHI WRIGGLES OUT OF JAM EASIILY"] Ah, well. Nevertheless.

Clip of TMZ Live video on 6ix9ine

Todd (VO): I can't know this for sure, but I'm told that his fan base is a bunch of teenage suburban edgelords...

Todd: ...who do not actually care about the "code of the streets".

Todd (VO): That would explain why his career was not stopped permanently by snitching. In fact, it didn't even stop for the length of his prison sentence.