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Trolls
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Release Date
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April 8, 2020
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Running Time
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20:19
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Previous Review
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Next Review
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Link
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(The Channel Awesome logo is shown. Then a brand-new NC intro plays, starting from the same opening shot as the 2019 intro and then transitioning to a room that plays clips in the background. For Doug Walker, 2017 Pennywise is seen in the middle of the room dancing, and Chester A. Bum and Uncle Lies are seen spinning around on the outer rim. The clips that play are of NC and Devil Boner. Next, we see Malcolm Ray's credit, which displays Bill in the middle and Black Willy Wonka and Benny spinning around, the clips playing are Carrotjuice and Cyborg (from the Justice League review). We then see original Mary Poppins and Rey in the background for Tamara Chambers' credit with a joyous Hyper Fangirl in the middle and Aunt Despair and Wonder Woman are seen spinning on the outer rim. Then, for the supporting cast of Jim Jarosz, Rob Walker, Walter Banasiak, Heather Reusz and Aiyanna Wade, we see 2019 Joker (from the It: Chapter Two review) in the middle and on the outer rim, an analyst, a floating Beverly (from the 2017 It review), Doe and the same shot of Jim drinking from a mug. After this, we pan up to see the "WRITTEN BY DOUG AND ROB WALKER" credit as a flame comes out from the middle and engulfs the screen several times as the "Intro by Fard Muhammad" credit appears. We are revealed to be zooming out from the O in the Nostalgia Critic logo, which zooms back into place with Channel Awesome's social media appearing below shortly after. We then fade to the NC at his desk (the wall is in the yellow color from last time))
NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. DreamWorks has had an...interesting history, hasn't it?
(As NC speaks, the logo for DreamWorks Animation SKG is shown, before showing several articles involving DreamWorks, including one on Jeffrey Katzenberg announcing some "very, very difficult" layoffs, as well as the poster for Shrek and logos of two of DreamWorks' distributors, Paramount Pictures and 20th Century Fox)
NC (vo): It seems like whenever you look into them, they're always either on top of the world or hanging on by a thread. Despite many of their films making money, they haven't had a solo production in 15 years, always working with another major studio.
NC: Part of the odd, but also charming, reason that might be is that you never really know what's gonna be good or bad with them.
(We are shown various shots and posters of various DreamWorks Animation movies that NC mentions)
NC (vo): If you told me Jack Black as a panda would be an emotional roller coaster and Will Smith as a fish would haunt my everlasting nightmares, I'd say you're as high as those who predicted Boss Baby would be the hit we didn't know we didn't want. Yes, it's hard to say why Shark Tale, Home and Abominable took the world by storm, but Rise of the Guardians, Peabody and Sherman and Sinbad didn't. I guess each one has its own complicated reasons.
NC: (crosses arms) But one that was easy to see why it bombed and bombed hard was the one that was based on the toy that hadn't been popular for years–
(He is interrupted, however, as another news article, this one on the movie he is referring to, Trolls, was a hit at the Cannes Film Festival)
NC (vo): Oh, that was a hit?
NC: Of course it was.
(The title for Trolls is shown, before showing various clips)
NC (vo): Trolls, based on the toys your sister played with when she wanted to be a voodoo priestess... (Images of the Troll toys and a girl posing with a Troll toy are shown) ...was a bit of a surprise hit, because the toy line hadn't been popular since the '90s. But with a colorful redesign, pop songs, and celebrity voices...
NC: You know, the...secret formula for every animated film now. (Posters of The Emoji Movie, The Angry Birds Movie, The Grinch, and Minions are shown)
NC (vo): ...Trolls became a smash. Its sequel, Trolls World Tour, might even be seen as a game-changer, as it's the first major kids' film to be released in theaters... (An image of a cinema website which reveals the cinema is temporarily closed is shown)...ish, but mainly on demand. (A news article called "Trolls World Tour could change everything or absolutely nothing" is shown) This'll be especially interesting, as animated sequels have not been the moneymakers they once were. So many are watching Trolls World Tour, or, as I call it, the less funny (Poster of...) Troll 2, with great interest. Before the fallout of that, though, I thought it only made sense to see why the first Trolls movie was such a big hit for DreamWorks, and if it's worth all the kinda-ish praise it got. (The film's Rotten Tomatoes score is shown, with the critics' score being 76% and the audiences' score being 67%) So let's take a look and see how this became popular again... (The Trolls toys are shown again) JUST TAKE THEM OFFSCREEN!!
NC: I CAN'T LOOK AT THEM! (abruptly calms down) This is Trolls.
(The title opens on a cuddly-looking storybook)
Narrator: Once upon a time in a happy forest, in the happiest tree lived the happiest creatures the world has ever known: The trolls.
NC: Bullshit! I go online. Trolls are dangerous losers, unless I agree with them, in which case, they're edgy rapscallions! (The sentence "THE INTERNET IN ONE SENTENCE" pops up)
Narrator: They loved nothing more than to sing, and dance, and hug, (speaking more rapidly so as to sound higher pitched) and hug, and sing, and dance, and sing, and hug, and dance and hug, and dance, and sing, and hug, and dance, and hug.
(The narration then stops, however, as one of the trolls on the page gasps for breath and falls over in a faint)
NC (vo): Sorry, YouTubers who talk to kids with sped-up voices, fast voices, and little cartoons.
NC: Trolls is doing it bet... Trolls is doing it.
NC (vo): It's revealed there's a race of creatures called the Bergens, who like eating the trolls' happiness, which, thank God, also means eating the trolls. Thus, they gather around the tree once a year to feast on them on the holiday called Trollstice. They light up the grills, which I have to say, I love the dark tone they're starting out on. Don't worry, it won't last...kind of; we'll get to it when we get to it. ...as Prince Gristle is given his first troll to eat.
(When he does, however, he spits it out in disgust)
Prince Gristle (Christopher Mintz-Plasse): (to the chef who gave it to him) That was rotten!
(The chef picks it up and looks at it. She pulls the hair off and knocks on it; it makes a wooden, knocking sound)
Chef (Christine Baranski): It's...fake?
Bergens: (shocked) Fake?!?
(As we cut back to NC, the fake troll is shown in the left corner, followed by an image of Baby Yoda in the upper-right corner)
NC: (as Gristle) It looked like Baby Yoda if he had (The image of Yoda is replaced by an image of the Grand Pabbie from Frozen) one of those kidney stones from Frozen!
NC (vo): The trolls escape underground, which is not exactly a shock. It's kind of like (An image of a stand of pines is superimposed, with one tree having a nervous face and human legs, as if trying to run away) a pine tree selling his plot before Christmas; there's fair warning. ...as King Peppy saves every last one of them.
(As King Peppy addresses the trolls, he is naked from having lost his clothes in the escape)
King Peppy (Jeffrey Tambor): No troll left behind!
(The other trolls cheer)
Young troll: Peppy, where's Princess Poppy?
NC: (as this young troll) Follow-up question: am I traumatized by that?
(King Peppy parts his hair, revealing a tiny troll, Princess Poppy, who is safe as well)
NC (vo): Princess Poppy is safe as well, but the Bergens are outraged and throw out the chef named...let me guess, just Chef?
(Yep, that's right, as seen on the movie's IMDB page, the chef is just named Chef, who is voiced by Christine Baranski, as stated before)
NC (vo): I gotta IMDB-ing these; it just depresses me.
Prince Gristle: (to his father, King Gristle) What's gonna make me happy now?
King Gristle (John Cleese): You will never, ever, ever, ever be happy.
NC: Oh, the current state of Star Wars fan.
(Meanwhile, King Peppy sticks his torch into a toadstool as he addresses the other trolls)
King Peppy: Right here, this is where we will rebuild our civilization!
NC (vo; as King Peppy): After the sweet mass genocide of Smurfs living here, I say we call this home! (normal) Twenty years later, Princess Poppy, voiced by Anna Kendrick, tells the story of their history to their hairy gumdrops.
Young troll 1: And that's why we hug every hour.
Young troll 2: I wish it was every half hour.
Poppy: So do I, but that wouldn't leave much time for singing and dancing now, would it?
NC: This is a cult.
NC (vo): So they sing about how they're going to have a big celebration of their freedom.
("Move Your Feet"/"D.A.N.C.E." starts to play)
Trolls: (singing) Yeah!
Poppy: (singing) Everybody's coming to the celebration...
NC: I guess I shouldn't judge other cultures, but...
NC (vo): ...I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be a troll racist by the end of this.
(As the song continues, Poppy and another troll ride on the back of an insect of some kind)
Poppy: (singing) Stick to the B-E-A-T / Get ready to ignite...
(Poppy pulls on the insect's antennae, and it explodes in a cascade of flowers)
NC: (smiling) Well, that thing's dead. Fun!
Fat blue troll: Something's missing.
(A troll covered in silver glitter runs up and aims his butt at a painting of a caterpillar, then through flatulence, he blasts silver glitter at the painting, adding glittery hair and a bow tie to it)
NC: (his head resting on his hand listlessly) All humor is gonna be butt-based, isn't it?
NC (vo): I guess my ass does do that when I put Easter egg glitter on Taco Bell. Honestly, I'd be more concerned if that didn't happen. (Poppy continues to sing) The song is a little annoying, but I guess still upbeat, as a troll named Branch, voiced by Justin Timberlake, is concerned as he's always paranoid the Bergens are coming.
(We cut to a montage of flashbacks, where troll festivities are disrupted by Branch, who rushes in worrying about the arrival of the Bergens. First, there is a birthday party)
Branch: The Bergens are coming!
(He knocks over a table with the birthday cake on it and runs off, screaming. Next, we have a wedding party)
Branch: The Bergens are coming!
(He knocks over a table with the wedding cake on it and runs off, screaming. Finally, we have a funeral)
Branch: The Bergens are coming!
(This time, instead of knocking over a table with a cake on it, he knocks over the coffin containing the body of the dead troll in question, who looks like a clown. The corpse falls out onto the ground. Branch then runs off again)
NC: Well, I know what should have been the poster!
(A made-up poster for this movie is shown, depicting the dead troll, having been knocked out of the coffin by Branch)