Top 11 South Park Episodes
April 30, 2013
NC (annoyed): Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. So I haven't done a Top 11 list in a while...
(He looks to three computer nerds, played by Malcolm Ray, Rachel Tietz, and Uncle Yo, who are preparing for something on their computers)
NC: ...and so, I thought I would do...
(He looks at the three nerds again)
NC: ...my Top 11 Favorite South Park episodes.
(The nerds start screaming and typing their favorite episodes, angering NC)
NC (after a few angry breaths): SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! Just gonna tell you right now straightforward that there's a very strong chance that I will not have your favorite South Park episode on this list. (The crowd gasps) And you know what, who can blame me? It's fucking South Park.
(Footage from the show)
NC (voiceover): And that's really quite an accomplishment. With most shows people love, fans can usually pick their Top 15 or even 20. But with South Park, it's like Top 30 or Top 50. That's how many good episodes there are. And with them making their way up to their 17th season, they show no sign of getting less clever, less raunchy, and most importantly, less funny. They always know what subject to tackle, how to tackle it, and how to get the biggest laugh. But inevitably, we have to ask, "Which ones are the best?" Which ones stand out with the best jokes, best parodies, or even the best messages?
NC: They're tough to sort out, but I think I've figured out my Top 11 favorite. Why Top 11? Because I like to go one step beyond. So, sit back and enjoy the Top 11 Best South Park episodes.
(Footage from South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut)
Eric Cartman (singing): Weeeeeeeeeellll, Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world! She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls.
(Title for "The Top 11 Best South Park Episodes")
Eric Cartman (singing): Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom? She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. She's a mean ole bitch, and she has stupid hair. She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch. Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch! She's a stupid bitch! (Whoa!) Kyle's mom's a bitch! And she's such a dirty bitch! (Bitch!)
(For each interlude on the Top 11, Eric Cartman sings the last part of "Kyle's Mom's a Bitch" with the number moving in front of the screen from the right)
#11[edit | edit source]
NC (voiceover): Number 11--"Christian Hard Rock*." With the Internet growing in popularity, there were still so many questions about what was ethical and what wasn't. What was harmful stealing and what was innocent fun? And this episode exposed a lot of the over-hyped bullshit for what it was. The boys start their own band...
- It's actually "Christian Rock Hard".
George Costanza (from Seinfeld): Moops!
NC (voiceover): ...then decide to get online music for inspiration. Little did they know, though, that they are tapping into the worst crime humanity could possibly perform. At least, that's what the poor starving musician that already made millions of dollars say.
Sergeant Yates: Here you see the loving family of Master P (He's shown tossing a basketball to his wife while his kid tries to catch it). Next week is his son's birthday and, all he's ever wanted was an island in French Polynesia (his mom lowers the ball and gives it to the boy, who smiles, picks it up and drops it. It rolls away and he goes after it).
Kyle Broflovski: So, he's gonna get it, right?
Sergeant Yates: I see an island without an owner.
Stan Marsh (apologetically): We're sorry! We'll, we'll never download music for free again!
NC (voiceover): The boys are so blown away at what a terrible crime this is that they decide to stop playing and protest to protect their music, and become symbols for other big name artists who decide not to play, never realizing that Cartman, who has started his own fake Christian rock band, which it turns out is very easy--all you do is replace the word "girl" in any love song with "God"--is making tons of money because there's nobody else to listen to, forcing him to become successful, while the boys sit and do nothing, leading them to sum up the position of any artist perfectly.
Lars: But why play if we're not gonna make millions of dollars?
Kyle (turns around and addresses the crowd): Because that's what real artists do. People are always gonna find a way to copy our music and swap it for free. If we're real musicians, then we should just play and be stoked that so many people are listening.
Stan (joins Kyle and faces the crowd): Besides, maybe our sound would have gotten downloaded for free, but if they were good songs, then people still would have bought tickets to see our band in concert (shots of Rick James, Ozzy, Britney and two other acts).
Kyle: We're not striking anymore! Who's with us?! (grins, but gets no response)
Britney: ...We're just about the money.
Other acts: Yeah, yeah.
Kyle (casts his eyes down): Oh.
NC (voiceover): This episode not only has great commentary, but it's another example of keep your eye off the prize and doing what you love simply because you love doing it, and after (SOPA picture) poorly written bill after (CISPA bill) poorly written bill trying to get passed in Congress to show the evils of the Internet, I think this is an argument that won't be going away anytime soon. It's another great reminder for artists that if you're doing it for the money, you're doing it for the wrong reason.
Sergeant Yates (somberly and dramatically): Man must learn to think of these horrible outcomes before he acts selfishly or else...recording artists will be forever doomed to a life of only semi-luxury.
(Interlude to the next entry)
#10[edit | edit source]
NC (voiceover): Number 10--"Britney's New Look." The boys are shocked at how much attention Britney Spears is getting in the media, interrupting political debates, important news stories, and sucking every common person's attention, and the news about her is not really that interesting either. She just does something stupid that in no way affects the world, but the world, for some reason, thinks that it does, and they hunt her down, trying to exploit what a pathetic blood-sucking creature she is, never realizing that they themselves are turning into the pathetic blood-sucking creatures. Even after she pushes herself to the limit, shooting herself, people still want to be in on the shit that nobody should care about. It talks about the obsession with celebrities our society has, but South Park asks the important question, "Who the fuck cares?" There's no doubt that people love bullshit, but this episode says, "For the love of God, get a fucking life and stop thinking how you can live through others!" It's like that show: TMZ. You know, the...worst humanity has ever put on...in the...history of the human race...so terrible that I hate getting a clip to show you because I feel like getting the footage is giving them a fraction of support and that makes me feel like the devil...
NC: ...that fucking bad...
NC (voiceover): ...and yet people still watch them like they're saying something important, when all they're doing is praying somebody will blow their brains out to preserve whatever measly shreds of journalistic decency they have left.
The Dude (from The Big Lebowski): ...Jesus.
NC (voiceover): This episode exploits that showing when...
NC: ...oh, you know what, I'm gonna go on a little longer. FUCK THIS SHOW!!!!
(Over the next part, which shows footage of TMZ on TV, messages flash across the screen: "FUCK THIS SHOW!" "STOP IT YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!" "You CAN'T be this big of a loser! You just CAN'T!" "Seriously? I mean...SERIOUSLY???" "Give humanity some hope!" "Live your life!" "Do something outside!" "Kim Kardashian's Shoes? Who Gives a Dick?" "They are the Devil's Anal Warts!" "Just Stop!" "FUCK THIS SHOW!" The music playing in the background is Rosinni's "The Storm" from William Tell.)
NC (voiceover): If you're actually dumb enough to watch past the first two seconds without realizing it's sucking whatever intelligence you have, then you deserve your purgatory of rubbing tabloids on your genitalia, thinking you're getting laid and claiming to others you know how the world works, when really, you're just crying your virgin ass to sleep every night while eating your Dorrito and Cap'n Crunch sandwiches! No, seriously, you stab God every time you see this show! You rape a kitten every time you don't turn the channel! FUCK THIS SHO--
NC: --not a fan.
(Back to footage of this episode)
NC (voiceover): This episode displays a lot of similar issues that were also brought up in "Raising the Bar", and while that was a great episode, I felt this one did the obsession with the horseshit not only first, but better. For whatever reason, there will always be a crowd for this stupid shit, and as long as there is, this episode will always hold relevance, unlike some other pieces of shit.
NC: Seriously, whoever's watching it, sleep with something--for your own good!
(Interlude to the next entry)
#9[edit | edit source]
NC (voiceover): Number 9--"Cancelled." Satire often shows the flaws of human nature, but once in a while, it can get its humor from the idea that maybe we've been doing better than we thought, like we've actually been holding up when given the circumstances we're put in, and this episode plays around with that idea...sort of. It starts off eerily familiar to the very first episode, in fact, it's exact.
Stan: That wasn't a dream, Cartman, those were visitors!
Cartman: No, it was just a dream (crosses his arms), my mom said so.
Stan: Visitors are real. They...(lowers his left eyebrow and thinks, looking down) Wait a minute. This has all happened before.
Kyle: Yeah. This does seem really familiar.
NC (voiceover): But then they realize they're reliving the same events as before and discover that the aliens who implanted the satellite in him from the first episode have returned. This, of course, raises the question, "Why was the satellite there to begin with?" Well, it turns out Earth is part of an intergalactic reality show. The idea revolving around what happens when various people and animals all live on one planet.
Stan: Our planet is just a reality-TV show?
Alien: Well, you don't think the whole universe works the way Earth does, do you? No! One species, one planet! There's a planet of deer, a planet of Asians, and so on! We put them all together on Earth and the whole universe tunes in to watch the fun!
NC (voiceover): This immediately creates conflict, violence, drama, which, of course, equals entertainment. But the problem is, people are suddenly made aware of its existence. So, because of the fear of it not being as fun anymore, the show is in danger of being cancelled, resulting in Earth's destruction. So the boys have to convince the aliens that mankind is still violent, still crazy, and still has the need to keep world peace as far away from them as possible, so they can be renewed for another season and the Earth doesn't have to be destroyed. They have to promote the worst of humanity in order to save the best of humanity. Not only is it a great callback to the first episode, but it's also both the most optimistic and pessimistic combination you can imagine, turning the mere act of existing into a form of business and entertainment. This episode shows clearly not only what's good TV, but what makes it good TV.
Stan: I'm sure you'll see that if you give our world time, it will become even more outrageous and violent.
(Interlude to the next entry)
#8[edit | edit source]
NC (voiceover): Number 8--"Chinpoko Mon*." Let's face it, whether you love Pokemon, or...just...didn't fucking understand it, there was no ignoring the impact that it was having. Kids everywhere became obsessed, making the anime style bigger than it had ever been in the past. So this is Trey and Matt's very adult outsider look on the phenomenon, and as someone who's going into college by the time this shit became popular and didn't follow it at all, I can guarantee, it got most people's reaction to it.
- It's actually "Chinpokomon".
Announcer: (more Chinpokomon appear...) Now you can collect them all. Furrycat, Donkeytron, Pengin, Shoe, Lambtor. Collect them all, and you can become Royal Crown Chinpoko Master.
Japanese Woman (dressed in business attire): Chinpokomon is soo-peh-rior rubbeh toy, Nuhmbah 1!
Singer: I got to buy it! Chinpo-ko-mon!
NC (voiceover): So they're trying to understand the show, and...why it's so damn weird. The parents discover a plot from the Japanese to brainwash all of America's kids, forming an army to conquer the world. This not only mocked the intense fandom of children at the time, but also how diabolical marketing can be, and that with the right combination of crazy-ass ideas can form an empire of epic proportions, even to world domination, apparently. Just look at this subtle propaganda.
Singer: Got to buy a ticket! I've got to buy one! A ticket! I've got to buy, buy, buy!
Japanese woman (pops in from the side): It'sa Satuhday anda Sunday. You can'ta wait to go!
NC (voiceover): It was just a great "What The Fuck?" reaction to all the adults trying to understand what their kids are watching, and that as much as we like to push good intelligent programming on them, kids are always gonna like something stupid, too. It's just the way of life.
"Ash": Someday, I will collect all the Chinpokomon, then I will fight the Evil Power that will reveal itself once all the Chinpokomon are collectable (tilts his head to one side), oh?
Cartman (affecting an anime look): No, Kitty, you can't have these chicken tenders, because they are mine, and I keep mine to myself, oh?
NC (voiceover): It was great seeing the oddness of a children's anime show being mocked so well, but this, of course, raised the question, "What about adult anime?" Well, join me at Number 7.
(Interlude to the next entry)
#7[edit | edit source]
NC (voiceover): Number 7--"Good Times with Weapons." For as much as they mocked kids anime, it's fairly obvious the writers of the show must enjoy adult anime as well. In this episode, the boys come across a series of weapons and pretend that they're ninja, but not just any ninjas--anime ninjas, and the best thing is we don't see it from an outsider's point of view like we did with "Chinpoko Mon." We see it from the children's point of view. Everything found in traditional anime is here: the badass designs, the over-the-top storylines, even the karaoke songs with bad English dubbing.
Singer: Hey, hey, let's go, kenka suru! Taisetsu no mono protect my balls!
NC (voiceover): A lot of the humor comes from the fact that it's taking a simple story about kids playing and turning it into a grand battle, so the comedy lies in how over-the-top and epic they're making their childish dilemmas, and nobody does over-the-top and epic like anime. It's a loving send-up with lots of laughs and a perfect satire of a very popular art form.
Stan: We'd love to hang out, guys, but we have important secret work to do. (turns and walks away)
Cartman: Yes. The life of a ninja is complex and full of peril.
NC (voiceover): It even has a funny little jab at the end about violence in the media vs. sex in the media, and wraps up all loose ends very nicely, but, hell, we all know that wasn't the best part. The best part was watching them make fun of what we enjoy, but still in a loving way. What else can you say but... (singing) "Let's fighting love..."
Singer: Let's fighting love...Let's fighting love...
(Interlude to the next entry)
#6[edit | edit source]
NC (voiceover): Number 6--"Make Love, Not Warcraft." At the height of the online role-playing game craze, South Park took a look at one of the most popular, if not THE most popular, RPG ever: Warcraft. The boys all discover Warcraft and become instantly hooked. The only downside is there's one player out there who has spent God knows how many hours building up his experience points, making him the most powerful character in the game, allowing him to kill and bully whoever he wants. This pisses off the boys to no end, so they decide they want to get revenge, but the only way to do it is to build up their experience points. So the boys decide to sacrifice all their social life to become the mightiest fighters online and the most pathetic human waste in reality. Much like "Good Times with Weapons," a lot of the humor comes from how epically large our heroes can make something not so epically large. I mean, they can be fighting online, but when you get down to it, they're just sitting at a fucking computer screen, and we always get constant reminders seeing all our badass looking characters still have the voices of little kids.
Cartman (as the dwarf, with mallet): Oh, dude! I just took the biggest crap.
Stan (the blue knight, with sword and shield): Dude! We've been waiting forever!
Cartman: Well, I'm sorry, I had to take a dump!
NC (voiceover): Another great thing about this episode is that so much is done in CG and actually acquired the help of (Blizzard Entertainment logo) Blizzard Entertainment, the company that created Warcraft. Again, like "Good Times with Weapons", though, the episode mocks the material as well as its fans, but also shows the appreciation for it, too. It acknowledges why the game is so popular and how it can become so addictive. It just shows what happens when the addiction goes too far...
President: Whoever this player is, he has played World of Warcraft nearly every hour of every day for the past year and a half. We are dealing with someone here who...has absolutely no life.
Member 3: How do you kill...that which has no life?
NC (voiceover): ...but it still shows it as fun, and even though people can take it to ridiculous extremes, there's still something very enjoyable about it.
Stan: Dad, how did you get that??
Randy: No time! Just take it! Here! (the sword stays fixed to his left hand) How, how do you hand something from one player to another?
Stan: Bring up your inventory screen: Control-I...
NC (voiceover): So again, we have sort of a loving tribute, obviously taking a few punches here and there...
President: I don't have a World of Warcraft account. Do you?
Member 1: No, I have a life.
NC (voiceover): ...but still enjoy the fact that something so mundane can be turned into such a huge adventure. It has a perfect understanding of the fans, the material, and even the idea behind the material. Hey, if even (Blizzard Entertainment logo) Blizzard can acknowledge how funny it is, it must be doing something right.
Cartman: No! I don't want them to start over at the graveyard! (the ganker shoots a fireball at Cartman) No! (the fireball hits and Cartman falls face down and dies)
(Cartman's room. Cartman looks stunned, then throws down his headset)
Cartman: God f*cking damnit!
(Interlude to the next entry)
#5[edit | edit source]
NC (voiceover): Number 5--"The Passion of the Jew." Definitely a classic; the best look at Mel Gibson's controversial film, The Passion of the Christ. Some people may forget that this film was one of the most talked about movies for a couple years, and South Park decided to throw in their two cents as well. All the boys go to see the film based on how everybody's been talking about it, and each one has a different reaction: Kyle sees it as a guilt trip because of his Jewish heritage, Cartman sees it as a chance to control brainwashed extremists, and Stan and Kenny just see it as, uh, a bad film.
Stan: That wasn't a movie, that was a snuff film!
NC (voiceover): Which I give a lot of credit for seeing how this is the following joke...
Stan: This is about being able to hold bad filmmakers responsible! (He leads Kenny out of his room) This is just like when we got our money back for BASEketball!
NC (voiceover): They try to go to Mel Gibson himself to try and get their money back, but their fears of Gibson being a crazy pain-obsessed sadomasochistic are sadly confirmed. In fact, overly confirmed.
Mel: I guess now you're gonna start torturing me! Well! (He grabs his nipples and falls on his knees. The crowd steps back as he twists his nipples.) Oh, my nipples are so tender! Don't squeeze them anymore!
Kyle (joins Stan and Kenny): Dude, what's wrong with him?
Stan: He's cuckoo, dude.
NC (voiceover): It addressed every issue that people talked about with the film: Anti-Semitism, Jewish guilt, the overuse of violence, religious extremes, focus of faith, and just how batshit insane Mel Gibson is, even before it was commonly known today. It seems like this episode was trying to do what most of their episodes tried to do: mock over-the-top extremists by using, ironically, over-the-top extremes, but their extremes served as a mirror to all the other complainers, saying, "Hey! If you're gonna preach something, make sure it's something that good." Or, as they say it...
Stan: If you wanna be Christian, that's cool, but, you should follow what Jesus taught instead of how he got killed. Focusing on how he got killed is what people did in the Dark Ages and it ends up with really bad results.
NC (voiceover): That about sums it up, 'cause, when you get down to it, they don't attack how people represent religion and faith, they attack how people declare a movie represents religion and faith, and how that's just as much bullshit as it sounds, and this episode called it out. Whatever your thoughts, whatever your beliefs, make sure you're following good ethics for good reasons.
Mel: You would all love to torture me, wouldn't you?
Jack: He's not...quite as eloquent as I had pictured.
NC: Only four more to go and we'll get to them after these ads...though, keep an eye out of this one...
Japanese woman (pops in from the side): It'sa Satuhday anda Sunday. You can'ta wait to go!
NC: I don't trust it.
(We come back from commercial break)
NC: Is it wrong to count three episodes as one? (Malcolm's about to type when NC interrupts) Fuck it, I'm doing it anyway. Let's move on to number 4.
#4[edit | edit source]
NC (vo): Number 4--The Coon Trilogy. Yeah, even though the Coon made a few appearances before, you all know which episodes I'm talking about; The Cthulhu episodes. That's right, this is a three-parter, with episodes "Coon: Hindsight", "Mysterion Rises", and "Coon vs. Coon & Friends". They're split into threes, and for good reason. So much happens that it needs to be split into three, but they still flow perfectly as one. The trilogy starts with Cartman as a superhero character called the Coon, being thrown out of his superhero group Coon & Friends because...well, he's Cartman and he's a pain in the ass. But as luck would have it, a BP* drill goes AWOL again and accidentally unleashes Cthulhu. But don't worry, they apologize for it.
- In the episode, it's called DP
(The BP president is in his study with a lit fireplace, petting a puppy)
President: We're sorry. (Now he's in a field) We're sorry. (And he blows a dandelion. Next scene is in his bed with the blanket covering him) Sorry.
NC (vo): Cartman takes this chance to befriend Cthulhu and take his revenge out on his friends. While that's happening, there's epic drama going on with one of the team members, Mysterion, trying to discover his origin. There's also great appearances by characters like Captain Hindsight, Professor Chaos, and Mintberry Crunch.
MBC: Mintberry Crunch!
NC (vo): Where do I begin with this episode? Not only does it satirize everything from comic books to anime to current events, even fucking Chuck Jones cartoons, but it also surprisingly stands out on its own as a very good story, at least from a comedic standpoint. There's good twists, mysteries and reveals all throughout three episodes, even down to which kid is playing which superhero. Even that gets a huge laugh, and sometimes, as with Mysterion, it ties into the story. The exposition at the end about one of the characters' background is so funny and so unexpected, it's impossible not to laugh your ass off. The way it can act so large when such silly, ridiculous stuff is going on is an epic comedy marvel. It blends styles and mixes genres to create its own little epic. I know many people would probably prefer the "Imaginationland" saga, and, yeah, that was pretty funny, too, but this one seemed to have a more defined look with harsher shadows and backgrounds, and also, in my opinion, just funnier jokes and more character. Out of all the really big action-packed episodes they've ever done, this one not only seemed the biggest, but the best put together. It had action, it had drama, it had questions, it had answers, it left everybody satisfied.
NC: The one very important question remains: Why the hell isn't there a Mintberry Crunch cereal? Seriously, it advertises itself! Can't we get a Kickstarter for this?
#3[edit | edit source]
NC (vo): Number 3--"Woodland Critters' Christmas." I actually talked about this on my "Top 11 Christmas Specials of All Time" list, so I won't talk in too much detail about it, partly because so much of the humor does rely on how many twists and turns it throws at you. The special revolves around Stan, who, one Christmas, comes across a series of talking animals called the Woodland Critters. They're excited because Porcupiney the Porcupine (Isn't that a great name?) is giving birth to the lord and savior. And honestly... I should just stop right there. If I was to talk anymore about the story, it would give away great reveal after great reveal. And needless to say, every one of them gets a huge laugh. It's not just a great satire of Christmas specials...God, even that music seems to sum up every Christmas song ever made...
Singer: It's once a year, it's Christmastime. And it happens once a year. It's once at Christmastime. When we hear about how Christmas comes once a year.
NC (vo): ...but as stories go, this one is probably one of the best written. There are so many surprises around every corner and each of them gets funnier than the last. And every single time you think they're done with comedic payoffs, they always have at least five others ready for you, And they all tie in to make an absolutely perfect episode. I know I'm being really vague about this, but trust me, if you've seen this episode, you'll know what I'm talking about. When you hear 'South Park does a Christmas special', this is just the kind of stuff that would pop in your head: Shocking, dark, in bad taste, but also so unbelievably funny. Again, I'm sorry I can't go into more detail like I did the other ones, especially since it's so high up on the list, but I really do believe that the reveal of the humor is that good, and I simply don't want to ruin it for you. It's one of my favorite Christmas specials for that very reason, and I think that it's some of South Park's greatest writing.
Background Singers: ...Christmas only comes once a year.
#2[edit | edit source]
NC (vo): Number 2 -- "All About Mormons".
NC: I think it's safe to say that the creators of South Park have a fascination with Mormons.
(Image of the musical The Book of Mormon is shown)
NC (vo): But given the way they explain it and make jokes about it, you could kind of see why. In this episode, a family of Mormons move into the neighborhood. At first, they're outcast, because everyone thinks they're going to try to force their beliefs down their throats. As the town's preparing for a fight, the Mormons are...preparing for dinner. Yeah, not only do they not want to fight back, but they constantly invite people over for dinner. And it's not for any religious agenda or anything, they're just....nice.
Kyle: What happened?
Stan: I'm...going over to his house for dinner tonight.
Sharon: You kicked Mr. Harrison's ass?
Randy: We're... uh... having their family over for dinner tomorrow night.
Stan: See? That's what happened to me!
NC (vo): They talk politely, they tell stories, they're a better family than most of the families in town. And the episode is pretty much the village's confusion on how such kind people can come from a religion that's...well, according to South Park, something like this.
Joseph Smith: Jesus lived here in America?
Holy figure: Yes. Eventually, my people are all killed by the other tribe of Israel. And as punishment, God turned their skin red. These are the Native Americans you know today.
Background Chorus: Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!
NC (vo): This episode is one of the best for two reasons. One, if you've ever known a Mormon, you know they are unusually nice, and ethical, and not angry...
NC: And just...pleasant!
NC (vo): Oh, I'm sure there are some asshole Mormons out there, but I haven't met them yet. I haven't even met a person who met a Mormon who was an asshole yet. So their grasp of Mormon people is not only funny, but kind of dead on. But the second thing that makes this episode one of the best is that it still takes its shots at the Mormon religion, but it still doesn't get in the way of their message. Being that, if a religion doesn't spread hate, produces good people, and hurts no one, who cares what the hell they think! In my opinion, I don't even think it needs to be called "All About Mormons", it could be called "All About Religion". No matter what the faith, if it seems to spread good without harming a soul, there's good in it. As much as the episode does mock the Mormon religion, it also surprisingly teaches tolerance, in its own unique South Park-y way. Heck, Stan's father wants to become a Mormon, because he just wants to figure out how he can be as nice and complete as that family is. And it all comes from just being pleasant. And you know what? In a show that can be so harsh and mean-spirited at times, it's good to know that even the creators can still see the value of straight up being nice, even in the face of being mocked for it. And in the end, the Mormon kid is actually seen as the badass because he didn't change for anything. He just stayed himself because that's what he liked. In a time where religion can still be so complicated and so controversial, this episode understands that sometimes the simplest answer can sometimes be the best.
Mormon Dad: Who's up for a water balloon fight!!!
(Mormon family cheers)
NC: (more annoyed than before) And now for my number one pick.
(The Critic looks at the three computer nerds. All three of them have their fingers hovering over their keyboards, ready for a flame war of epic proportions)
NC: Keep an open mind.
#1[edit | edit source]
NC (vo): The Number 1 Best South Park Episode is..."Osama Bin Laden has Farty Pants".
NC: HOLD IT!!!
(The Critic stops the nerds before they start typing)
NC: Let me explain the reason why I think this is the best episode. It's not the funniest episode. It's not the smartest episode. It's not even the best written episode. But it came at a time when America needed South Park.
NC (vo): It had been three months since the previous South Park episode, and in that time, not only did 9/11 happen, but a series of Anthrax attacks that was being sent through the mail was putting the country in a state of absolute fear. Security tightened everywhere, our country was on the brink of war. America was changed forever. Nobody knew how or what to feel. So when the news that South Park was going to return to TV was announced, a lot of people were wondering, what were they gonna do? What could they do? Would it be a touching episode? An in-depth episode? What side would they pick? What issues were they going to tackle? What the hell was South Park going to do? Literally, the first frame set the mood.
(The four boys are at their bus stop wearing gas masks)
Kyle: Remember when life used to be simple and cool?
Cartman: Not really.
NC (vo): This is what we needed. We needed a good laugh at the entire thing, and we needed it to be done by South Park. The episode shows the overly secured and paranoid America, waving flags everywhere for support, and hiding in their homes, feeding their fear by watching the news. Through a misunderstanding, the boys are forced to send a dollar each to Afghanistan kids as part of a charity program. And they, in return, send a goat. They don't want the goat, though, and wish to return it via plane, but end up getting caught in the flight. Through, per usual, a strange series of events, the boys end up discovering Osama Bin Laden. And the rest of the show is just making him look like the most pathetic ass.
(Osama Bin Laden is shown kissing and romancing a camel Looney Tunes style)
NC (vo): It was as over-the-top, raunchy, silly, and cartoony as they had ever been in the past.
(Bin Laden gets blown up by dynamite. His teeth play the first notes of 'America the Beautiful'. An American soldier shoots him.)
Soldier: I got him! I got him!
NC (vo): Everybody was talking about it the next day. 'Did you see that episode of South Park?' 'Wasn't it hilarious?' 'That was just what I needed.' 'God, I'm glad they're still funny.' There has been jokes made about the state of our country before this episode, other satires and commentaries, but this was the one Americans needed. Uncompromising, unapologetic, not worrying about who they offended, just trying to make people laugh. It was just the right jokes at just the right time delivered by just the right people. [Rudy] Gulianni showed us we needed to be strong, [David] Letterman showed us we needed to cry, South Park showed us we needed to laugh. I'm not gonna say it changed everything or erased all our fears that we had before, but a good comedian knows the power of laughing and how important it is. It not only makes you feel good, but it can help you out through some of your darkest moments of your life. And in one of America's darkest moments, this helped a great deal. It helped us in only the strange way South Park can help us, by not backing down to anything and just doing what they thought was funny. And whether it was a huge roar or just the tiniest little chuckle, everybody felt their spirits raised a little bit after seeing this episode. It's the best episode because it's the only episode that reminds us that we not only like South Park, but we surprisingly need it.
NC: So there you go, my top 11 favorite South Park episodes, and looking back...it's kinda shocking how smart it is.
(Footage of the show plays out)
NC (vo): From a show that most people thought of as just low brow garbage and crude childish humor, South Park has proven to be some great social satire, and purely on its own terms. They're the people we could always rely on to say the Emperor has no clothes. The people who won't be bought out or cave in to any public opinion. The people who won't hold back on saying something about somebody because they were afraid they might be on the show or they might be a sponsor. They have no fear because they have no cares. They talk about whatever they think is funny and still manage to be relevant for 17 seasons and still going strong.
NC: Maybe there is more to South Park than just crude humor.
NC (vo): Maybe it's proof that great comedy and art doesn't come from freedom, but from freedom given to the right people. And that what the public claims as one day being beneath them or immature nonsense, can the next day be claimed as some of the most blunt, straightforward, and brilliant satire that television has seen in years.
NC: Wouldn't you agree?
Computer Nerds: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
(The nerds rage-type at full speed. This causes the Critic to spasm in a conniption fit before he explodes in rage... right into a South Park-like cardboard cutout of himself.)
NC: (shouting like Cartman) SHUT YOUR FUCKING DICKHOLES, YOU DONKEY RAPING SHIT-EATERS!!! GO OUTSIDE INTO THE SUN AND GET... LAIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(This stuns the nerds cold)
NC: I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to.
(The South Park NC walks off)
NC: Dude, that was totally tits.
(Before the Channel Awesome logo, we get an ad for The Nostalgia Critic's review of Paranoia which is featured on The Best of ThatGuyWithTheGlasses Vol. 4 DVD)
NC (vo): You ever wonder what would happen if The Cinema Snob turned into one of those pretentious filmmakers he makes fun of? The darkest recesses of my nightmares won't allow me to think about it, but luckily this film exists to show me what the outcome would be. It has sex, murder, mayhem, and probably the biggest collection of bearded men since The Last Temptation of Christ. But is it on par with main actor, and writer, Brad Jones' other work?
NC: Well, he...does keep his cat out of most of the shots. Lets get our freak on with Paranoia.
(Title cards and fade to black)
(Channel Awesome Logo)
Singer: Let's Fighting Love!!!