NC: Hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to.
Footage from Disney movies starts playing
NC (voiceover): Ah yes, don't we all love Disney? That cuddly childhood innocence mixed in with that special brand of magic that only Mickey Mouse and friends could provide?
The word "Bullshit" comes over NC, and he speaks in a very low, demonic voice
NC: BULLSHIT! (normal voice) Disney is messed up! Don't believe me? Then check out their villains!
Various villains are shown
NC (voiceover): These are some of the nastiest baddies that ever shined on the silver screen. They were cruel, wicked, and oozing with pure, concentrated evil.
NC: They did their best to give you their worst! And we're here to honor them today. For if it wasn't for these masters of darkness, Disney wouldn't have that edge that actually does manage to bring some of us psychopaths back. So, I am counting down the Top 11 MEANEST Demons the Happiest Place On Earth has ever produced. Why Top 11? If you don't know by now, kiss it. This is the Top 11 Disney Animated Film Villains.
A rather catchy song plays over a scene of an animated devil terrorizing someplace for the title sequence; Interlude
NC (voiceover): Number 11--Cruella DeVille from 101 Dalmations.
Footage of the animated movie
NC (voiceover): Becoming something of an icon, Cruella DeVille is the epitome of style meeting psycho. This nasty lady's plan all hinged around wanting to make fur coats out of cute little cuddly puppies. And the more evil and psychotic she looked, the more adorable and lovable our heroes looked!
NC: How can she kill those cute little puppies? This is even worse than that time she opened up that new line of baby seal head necklaces.
A couple still shots of baby seal heads photoshopped over people to make it look like baby seal head necklaces
NC (voiceover): I'm pretty sure I saw Kanye West wearing one of those too!
NC: But surely once she sees how cute and lovable those little puppies are, she wouldn't dare commit such a horrible cri-
Cruella: Poison them, drown them, bash them in the head, buy me chloroform, I don't care how you do it just kill the little beasts!
NC: ...sheesh lady...
NC (voiceover): Cruella was great for covering herself in stylish attire but always showing the true bloodhungry monster that lied underneath. Always yelling, always angry, and always fashionably insane, if fur is murder, then Cruella DeVille is the H-Bomb of the animal kingdom.
NC (voiceover): Number 10--Jafar, from Aladdin.
Footage of Jafar from Aladdin
NC (voiceover): It's said that Jafar was drawn by a woman who happened to be pregnant at the time. If that's the case, I think she needed a lot more epidurals. Jafar was a mean looking customer, with a long face, sunken in eyes, and a slithery voice.
Jafar: You are late.
NC (voiceover): I really love this guy's voice. It's like if Michael Crawford's testicles finally dropped.
Jafar: That's deeply upsetting!
NC (voiceover): On top of all that, he was a great sorceror, hypnotizing people, altering his appearance, and even giving his parrot the voice of Gilbert Gottrfried, what a despicable notion!
Iago: I can't take it anymore!
NC (voiceover): I think my favorite scene is when he proposes to Jasmine to be his bride.
Jafar: You're speechless I see. A fine quality in a wife.
NC: God what an asshole.
NC (voiceover): He also takes on a lot of different forms. You see him as a wizard, you see him as an old man, you see him as a snake, you see him as a genie, and you even see him at one point as a straight guy!
NC (voiceover): With his evil smile and devilish laugh, Jafar continues to be everybody's Arabian nightmare.
NC (voiceover): Number 9--Scar, from The Lion King.
Footage from The Lion King
NC (voiceover): I know a lot of people like this villain, but I put him pretty low on the list. Mostly because he's just a power-hungry dictator. That's not to say a lot of the other villains aren't power-hungry dictators, but here's the thing: when they do get their power, they're still interesting characters. When Scar gets his power, he stops being interesting, and instead turns into a whiny little prima donna.
Montage of scenes of Scar being whiny
NC: Now out, out, I need to apply more mascara!
NC (voiceover): But for all his faults, Scar did have a certain class and elegance to him. Jeremy Irons' voice really knows how to capture that slimy nature of the traditional villain, making everything he does seem disgustingly evil. Plus, he is one of the few Disney villains who actually manages to kill off one of the main characters. Where were you on that one Jafar? Huh, huh?
Jafar: You'll get what's coming to you.
NC: What's coming to me, what do you mean what's coming to me, I don't-
Jafar zaps with his staff, and NC's head is turned into a raptor head
NC: Okay, that is NOT cool.
NC (voiceover): Smart, sinister and full of slime, this menacing feline put the Hell in Hello Kitty.
NC (voiceover): Number 8--Shere Kahn, from The Jungle Book.
NC: Knock it off!
Footage from The Jungle Book
NC (voiceover): This is a little bit more what Scar should've been like. A powerful, bloodthirsty killer who still has a sense of honor and dignity to him. Part of that is because he was voiced by classic actor George Sander, and no one can show more class than a guy who wears a freezing suit and still looks respectable.
Brief clip from the 60s Batman show, where Batman and Robin are facing off with Mr. Freeze, played by Sander
NC (voiceover): Even though the character did little, there was so much build-up to him that you couldn't help but be intimidated.
Wolf leader: Shere Kahn will surely kill the boy!
Bagheerah: Mowgli will meet Shere Kahn!
Baloo: The tiger?
Bagheerah: He hates man.
Mowgli: We'll just explain to him that I-
Bagheerah: No one explains anything to Shere Kahn!
NC (voiceover): You knew he was deadly, and he knew it too. He was afraid of nothing, smiling and nodding even when he knew he was being lied to. His best scenes involve his talk with Ka, the snake.
NC: I said Ka!
NC (voiceover): He's another great villain, though I don't think he's really in the movie enough to make the countdown. But good old Shere Kahn is a good filler, making even the dumbest of mancubs regret their bravery.
Vulture: Run friend, run!
Mowgli: Run? Why should I run?
NC: Get out of there you little idiot!
Shere Kahn: Everyone runs from Shere Kahn.
Mowgli: You don't scare me. I won't run from anyone.
NC: HE'S GONNA KILL YOU, get outta there!
Shere Kahn: I'm going to close my eyes and count to ten. It makes the chase more interesting. Now one...two...three...
Throughout, NC is silently pleading for Mowgli to run
Shere Kahn: Four...you're trying my patience. Five six seven eight nine...TEN!
He leaps at Mowgli, snarling in fury
NC: Great, now you're dead.
An illustration of a gravestone that says "One Dumb Boy" comes up
NC (voiceover): Fast, deadly, and always having very good manners, Shere Kahn was at the top of sophisticated evil.
NC (voiceover): Number 7--Ratigan, from The Great Mouse Detective.
Footage from this more obscure movie
NC (voiceover): Out of all the Disney villains, this one is probably the funniest. I know a lot of people like Hades or Captain Hook, but this guy is just so egotistical and so diabolical that he takes the cheesecake. Not only is he an evil genius, but he enjoys every single moment of it, giggling and laughing all the way. Again, a lot of what makes this character stand out is the voice actor, Vincent Price, knowing how to mix bloodshed and rage with giddiness and joy.
Ratigan: Hehe, yes.
NC (voiceover): He's so evil that his picture actually smiles once you mention his name!
Basil: Professor Ratigan!
The picture smiles
NC: Now that's a baddie!
NC (voiceover): What makes this character so great too is that he tries to hide his inner raging beast with all his class and sophistication. But by the end, he's just as psychotic as any other power hungry monster. If you weren't afraid of rats before this movie, you certainly will be after. Ratigan, evil never looked so good, and bad, at the same time.
NC (voiceover): Number 6--Ursula from The Little Mermaid.
Footage of the Disney movie
NC (voiceover): This was a fun villain. A massive, overweight sea-witch who always has an evil look in her eye. Like most villains, all she wanted was power, but she looked so delightfully crazy while trying to obtain it. On top of that she had a great design, with a half-human half-octopus thing going on. Something I never understood though is that she always complained about how she looked and that she had to live with it. But look! She transforms herself into a beautiful woman later. She's so hot that even the priest is getting a boner! But oh well, I can't bring too much logic into a movie where people can actually talk underwater. Ursula was a perfect menace: cunning, deceitful, and of course singing one of the best Disney songs ever.
She sings Poor Unfortunate Soul
NC (voiceover): She's an 8 legged creature that most likely won't be stepped on anytime soon.
NC (voiceover): Number 5--Gaston, from Beauty and the Beast.
NC (voiceover): This is a very different kind of Disney villain. He doesn't start off as the epitome of evil, or even as a villain. He just starts off as a jerk, egocentric and totally self-absorbed. It's funny, because he's the kind of good-looking character you see saving the day in Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. Which makes him a great contrast with our real hero, The Beast. Does even really have a name? Of course as time goes on, Gaston's greed and pride transforms him into an animal, where the Beasts's patience and love transforms him into...whatever the hell that is. Gaston is funny, while also being threatening. Which in some ways makes him a much more three dimensional character. He's not evil just to be evil, he's just always used to getting what he wants, and as a result, will continue to do anything to get it. Even evil, horrible things. Funny, tough, and always getting his way, Gaston was somehow the essence of both prissiness, and manliness at the same time.
NC (voiceover): Number 4--Frollo, from The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
NC (voiceover): Where do I begin with this guy? He kills an innocent woman, tries to drown her baby, keeps him in a bell-tower, burns people alive, lusts over women, offers their freedom for sex...and all while claiming he's a good Christian.
NC: Sounds like a 19th century Bill O'Reilley to me!
A Nelson Muntz "Ha ha!" is played over a picture of O'Reilley
NC: Oh come on, everybody's made a Bill O'Reilley joke, I had to get one.
NC (voiceover): Frollo was a sinister creature, playing a sinister judge who longs to purge the world of sin. He gets away with doing horrible, terrible things because he reasons with the people--and himself--that it's what God ultimately wants him to do. What a dick. He also has one of the best and creepiest song sequences ever put in a Disney film. Where he confesses his lust for Esmerelda and that if he can't have her, the pits of Hell will.
Frollo: And let her taste the fires of Hell!
NC: You know, for kids!
NC (voiceover): Actually, Frollo did make this movie a lot more adult than most children are used to. And we just loved him for that. He was born with no soul, no heart, and no regrets. Frollo, working on the dark side of the cross.
NC (voiceover): Number 3--Lady Tremaine, aka the Evil Stepmother from Cinderella.
NC (voiceover): I could punch this lady in the face I hated her so much. She didn't have any weapons, fighting moves, or even evil minions. She just had control over one person's life, and boy did she squeeze every last drop out of it. She made poor Cinderella do everything, clean the house, feed the animals, everything. Why? All because she didn't push Cinderella out of her cooch, that's the only reason. She gives her real daughters everything and Cinderella nothing, what a load of bitch. Look at the way she sits on that bed stroking the cat, she's like a Bond villain. And how about that smile, God, she's just dripping with whore! So, okay, making a woman do chores isn't all that bad. But nope, she goes even further. She prevents Cinderella from going to the ball because she gives her too much work to do, has her daughters rip apart her dress, because it all from old, unused clothes, and even locks her in her room, destroying her chance for a happy life that's just waiting for her downstairs.
NC: You spidery broad I'll kill you!
He pulls out his gun and loads it
NC: I'll kill you!
He fires, but the bullet does nothing. He fires again, still nothing. He laughs nervously
NC: No hard feelings...
Lady Tremaine gives a dark stare, that literally becomes dark and her eyes seem to glow
NC (voiceover): No, please, don't give me that stare!
NC: It's the scariest stare in cinema history! No, please, AAAAAAAH!
His head explodes
NC (voiceover): Evil, despicable, and loving every minute of it. Lady Tremaine...what a bitch!
NC (voiceover): Number 2--Maleficent, from Sleeping Beauty.
NC (voiceover): Voiced by the exact same actress, Maleficent had the same wickedness and sophisticated evil that Lady Tremaine did. The only difference? She could whup your ass in a second! Maleficent's motivation is pretty simple: horribly kill and murder the daughter of a king BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T GET INVITED TO A BIRTHDAY PARTY!
NC: Boy, talk about someone who hates to be snubbed.
NC (voiceover): Though a basic goal, Maleficent made this simple snub look like an act of war, and she treated it just the same. With her magical powers, elegant grace and diabolical nature, Maleficent was cold as her heart. She's so scary that even the Nostalgia Chick placed her as the greatest villainess from Nostalgia's past.
NC: Oh is the little Nostalgia Chick afraid of Maleficent? Is she afraid she's gonna die if she pricks her finger on a spinning wheel, hmm?
Maleficent turns his head into some sort of...triple...skull...thing...
NC: Here's an idea, stop insulting the rulers of darkness, that'll getcha ahead in life!
NC (voiceover): Like I said before, what made her even better than someone like Lady Tremaine is that she actually DID have power, combining both the elegant, quiet, sophisticated evil with the loud, monstrous terrifying evil. So she can attack you both mentally, and physically, a dangerous combination. What else can you say, there's never been a single, double, or triple threat like this mistress of all evil.
NC: So I know what you're thinking. Those are some pretty big name baddies. Who the hell else could they get to top that? Well the answer might actually surprise you. So let's not wait any longer.
NC (voiceover): The Number 1 Greatest Disney Animated Film Villain is--The Devil, from Fantasia.
Footage of the Devil sequence from Fantasia
NC (voiceover): Now I know what you're thinking. He didn't DO anything, he didn't hatch any diabolical plans or ruin anybody's life. But here's the thing: IT'S THE DEVIL! He is evil incarnate. You look at this guy and tell me not one of these characters is not working for, with, or was inspired by this guy. He doesn't talk, doesn't sing, and doesn't even mess around with any of the good guys. But that's how the Devil works. He doesn't strike people down like Maleficent or scheme evil plots like Frollo, he's working through them, motivating and encouraging every ounce of evil that they do. He doesn't even need an introduction. You just see him, and you can feel the evil. How can you not be intimidated when those evil eyes pop up and the music builds? The Devil is often perceived as something that you can't see. Well if you could, this is what he would look like. And this is what he would do, playing God with the dead. Bringing spirits back to life just so he can destroy them again. He turns beauty into filth, moonlight into fire, and cries for help into consumption and greed. Ultimately though, the Devil can't compete with the heavenly light that comes in at the end, and leads to what is probably Disney's most powerful and beautiful moment ever put on screen. This portion of Fantasia was daring and controversial, even spawning one of the first Disney NIPPLES ever to be seen.
NC: OH MY GOD, WOMEN HAVE NIPPLES? MY CHILDHOOD IS RUINED!
NC (voiceover): There's no doubt about it, the Devil encompassed everything. He was everything dark, everything hateful, everything cruel, and everything lusting for power. He was the master of all darkness, and portrayed just as that, seeing absolutely no element of good in him. An all-around perfect portrayal of evil. The Devil, the Number 1 Greatest Disney Animated Villain.
NC: And that's all there is to report from the happiest place on Earth! Evil family members, psychotic killers, and of course the prince of all darkness himself, Satan. I hope you enjoyed this list, and remember: When you wish upon a star, (deep and demonic) EVIL WILL FIND YOU! (normal) I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to.
The video technically ends with Doug explaining his obscure and borderline demonically possessed computer problems, but as that is Doug and not the Nostalgia Critic, and is not the main focus of the video (as with "Off to beat the Nerd," it won't be transcribed.
NC: Hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to.