Top 11 Adult Jokes We Never Got As Kids


August 27th, 2013
Running Time
Previous Review
Next Review

(We see shadows of Nostalgia Critic and his master, also played by Doug Walker. The background is red with Chinese hieroglyph meaning "fire". NC tries to practice firebending on a punching bag, but blows up his master instead. NC looks around and runs away in fear. Throughout this, NC is speaking)

NC (vo): Hey, guys. Nostalgia Critic here. Sorry I can't do my usual editorial this week, but I guess I've been trying to save a franchise or something. I don't know. I'll keep you updated. Anyway, here's a little something I put together just in case some sort of a distraction came up.

(Title for Top 11 Adult Jokes We Never Got as Kids)

(For each interlude, the number simply zooms in as Chinese music plays in the background)

#11 - Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade[edit | edit source]

Indiana Jones: (about his new girlfriend, Elsa) How did you know she was a Nazi?

Henry Jones: She talks in her sleep.

(a very long, awkward pause)

#10 - Mrs. Doubtfire[edit | edit source]

(Chris and Lydie have just found out that their father is Mrs. Doubtfire)

Lydie: Who did this?

Daniel: Uncle Frank and Aunt Jack.

(another awkward silence)

#9 - Tiny Toons: How I Spent My Summer Vacation[edit | edit source]

Plucky: Put her there, uncle!

(Uncle Stinky shakes Plucky's hand and throws him at the car window. Plucky looks at the brown stuff in his hand and smells it. He turns plaid and faints)

#8 - Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure[edit | edit source]

Missy: I brought you guys some food.

(Ted stares down Missy's shirt as she leans forward, and then catches Bill staring as well)

Ted: It's your mom, dude!

#7 - Batman Returns[edit | edit source]

Organ Grinder: There's somebody here to see you.

(it's Catwoman lying on a bed seductively)

The Penguin: Just the pussy I've been looking for!

#6 - The Simpsons Halloween Special[edit | edit source]

(clip from "King Homer" ["Treehouse of Horror III"] plays)

Marge: (reading ad) "Single white female wanted for mysterious expedition."

Burns: What do you think, Smithers?

Smithers: I think women and sea-men don't mix.

#5 - Roger Rabbit[edit | edit source]

Judge Doom: Then frisk the woman!

Greasy: I'll handle this one.

(Greasy rolls up his sleeve and puts his hand between Jessica's breasts. Greasy rapidly withdraws his hand with a man trap on it and starts screaming. Other weasels laugh at him)

Eddie Valiant: (whispers to Jessica) Nice booby trap.


(The final scene from "Roller Coaster Rabbit" short. Baby Herman pops a balloon handed to him by a girl with his cigar. The girl gasps and we come to iris shot)

Baby Herman: (laughs) What's a matter, toots? Afraid of a little... bang?

#4 - Ren and Stimpy[edit | edit source]

(clip from "The Great Outdoors")

Old Man Hunger: I just love skinny-dipping! (to Ren and Stimpy, completely naked) Hey, fellers!

(he runs to the lake as "In the Hall of The Mountain King" by Edward Grieg plays. Ren and Stimpy's eyes are bouncing up and down)

#3 - Shelley Duvall Faerie Tale Theatre[edit | edit source]

(clip from "The Tale of the Frog Prince". The Frog Prince takes a bath while the princess is changing)

The Princess: Turn around, you horny toad!

#2 - SpongeBob SquarePants[edit | edit source]

(clip from "The Smoking Peanut")

SpongeBob: Sorry, Sandy, I have to... d... ah... go get my hair cut! (runs off)

Sandy: SpongeBob doesn't have hair. Or... does he?!

#1 - Most of Rocko's Modern Life[edit | edit source]

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.