Toosie Slide

Toosie Slide
Date Aired	May 18, 2020
Running Time	14:58
Previous Review	Zingalamaduni
Next Review	TBA
Website	https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qU9iPQW1rLI

Todd plays "Toosie Slide" on the piano.

DRAKE - TOOSIE SLIDE
A pop song review

Todd: So I am recording this in May of 2020. [clip of ABC news story on people ignoring distancing] We are still living through an unprecedented global pandemic. Unless it changed in the last few hours, lemme check. [checks phone] Uh, yeah that's still happening. Well.

Clip of CNN news story about pandemic death toll

Todd (VO): So yes we are still living through the most boring imaginable apocalypse and I think we all agree it sucks. Todd: But personally speaking, as an observer of music, it's also extremely interesting because we get to see it change in front of us.

Clip of New York City streets during lockdown

Todd (VO): Now movies, TV those take a while to catch up but music can react right away. Todd: I remember this happening right after 9/11 when...

Live performance clip of Enrique Iglesias - "Hero"

Todd (VO) ...Enrique Iglesias's "Hero" suddenly vaulted up the charts.

Background singers: I can be your hero, baby

Enrique Iglesias: Come on

Todd (VO): That was real weird to watch this open shirt, bedroomized ballad somehow become the most important song in the world but, you know, shit was different all of a sudden. The context changed the meaning of the song. Todd: And that is definitely happening now too.

Clip of Billboard News video that includes clip of DaBaby ft. YoungBoy Never Broke Again - "JUMP"

Todd (VO): I have had nothing better to do than listen to the entire Hot 100 front to back every week. And I've noticed some songs seem particularly suited to this moment in time.

Clip of Twenty One Pilots - "Level of Concern"

Tyler Joseph: Would you be my little quarantine?

Todd (VO): There are, of course, the songs that are explicitly pandemic related. Twenty One Pilots were the first to write a reference to it.

Montage clips of Luke Combs - "Six Feet Apart", Lil Baby - "Social Distancing", OneRepublic - "Better Days", Mike Love ft. John Stamos - "This Too Shall Pass"

Todd (VO): Since then Luke Combs, Lil Baby, OneRepublic and enemy of this show Mike Love have all cut records specifically about the quarantine.

Mike Love: Let's get back to having fun, fun, fun in the sun

Todd (VO): God, you suck. Todd: But I'm more attracted to songs that are unintentionally about it.

Clip of JP Saxe ft. Julia Michaels - "If the World Was Ending"

Todd (VO): There's a song that hit radio called "If the World Was Ending".

JP Saxe: But if the world is ending, you'd come over right?

Todd (VO): Not hard to see why that's taking off.

Clip of Fiona Apple - "Fetch the Bolt Cutters"

Todd (VO): There's also Fiona Apple's immediate critical smash "Fetch the Bolt Cutters".

Fiona Apple: Fetch the bolt cutters, I've been in here too long

Image of "Let Me In" meme related to the pandemic reading "Let Me Out"

Todd (VO): Yeah, that's a pretty relatable sentiment right now.

Clip of Thomas Rhett ft. Jon Pardi - "Beer Can't Fix"

Todd (VO): And similarly, Thomas Rhett's "Beer Can't Fix" has taken on some added dimensions.

Thomas Rhett: Ain't nothing that a beer can't fix

Todd: You said it, bro. [takes a sip of a beer]

Clip of BENEE ft. Gus Dapperton - "Supalonely"

BENEE: Now I'm in the bathtub crying

Todd (VO): My personal favorite is BENEE's "Supalonely", which sings about isolation and sadness in a tone just ironic enough to be comforting.

BENEE: Lonely, I'm a lonely bitch

Clip of Powfu ft. beabadoobee - "death bed (coffee for your head)"

Powfu: I wish it could be me, but I won't make it out this bed

Todd (VO): Speaking of not having the energy to move, there's also Powfu's depression rap "death bed".

Powfu: Don't stay awake for too long, don't go to bed

Todd (VO): Those last two are interesting to me because they got popular on [clip of video on...] TikTok, the newest tastemaker in popular music.

Clip of Genius News video "How TikTok Is Making Hits"

Todd (VO): TikTok has proven to be an extremely powerful promotional tool. It is breaking all the rules in which songs get popular.

Clip of Lil Nas X - "Old Town Road"

Todd (VO): Ever since the insanity of "Old Town Road" last year, executives have been searching high and low for the next Lil Nas X. [image of Lil Nas X in front of TikTok logo neon sign] Some newcomer who comes out of nowhere on this new medium where they can bypass all the gatekeepers and catch the world by storm.

Todd: And at last, they seem to have found him. So let's check out this fresh-faced new sensation who is changing the face of the industry.

Clip of Drake - "Toosie Slide"

Drake: Black leather glove, no sequins

Buckles on the jacket, it's Alyx shit

Todd: Fuckin' Drake! Fuckin' Drake, again!

Drake: It go right foot up, left foot

Todd (VO): Last month Drake scored another number 1 hit with "Toosie Slide", the lead single off...

Todd: of his newest [screenshot of Dark Lane Demo Tapes on Spotify] Double Length, Extended Mixtape EP LP Playlist Record B-Side Collection Album of- Who could possibly care about another god damn Drake project at this point.

Clip of BlocBoy JB & Drake - "Look Alive"

Todd (VO): I'm sorry, it's just, who's crying out for more Drake right now. The 2010s were already the Drake decade. And if you hoped it would be restricted to just the one, sorry.

Todd: The new single broke records by being his [screenshot of hot97 article "DRAKE’S ‘TOOSIE SLIDE’ BREAKS NEW RECORD & DRIZZY MAKES HISTORY!"] 209th charting song, which makes him officially the title holder for Most Hot 100 Entries of All Time. And boy, weren't all of them just so good.

Clip of Drake - "Nonstop"

Drake: Bills so big I call 'em Williams, for real

Todd (VO): You know, in a sense, Drake's continued success is good for critics like me. [clip of Drake - ""] It's a lot easier to write about an artist who's been around for a while. You get to see how they've changed and grown. How their new music affects their image.

Todd: But, come on. I feel like a complete idiot saying that about Drake. I mean, let's check out this new song.

Clip of "Toosie Slide"

Drake: Two thousand shorties wanna tie the knot, ayy, yeah

Two hundred shooters

Todd (VO): Oh wow, yet another dreary, drowsy, drab ass Drake song. He hasn't put out one of those in 4 hours.

Todd: Changed and grown, what are we even talking about?

Clip of Drake ft. Rick Ross - "Money In The Grave"

Todd (VO): Is someone gonna tell me that the seasoned veteran who made 2019's "Money In The Grave" [clip of...] has noticeably matured from the young upstart who made 2011's "Headlines"? Even the beats he uses hasn't changed that much.

Todd: And yes, obviously I've said a lot of positive things about Drake in the past. [clip of "Nice for What"] I do like a lot of his songs, I've liked at least something from every one of his releases. But at this point, that's a function of quantity, not quality.

Clip of Drake - ""

Todd (VO): Yes, somewhere in his latest 5-hour collection of half-finished raps there's probably at least one good song in there, just statistically speaking. Todd: But I've kind of resigned myself to Drake continuing to have his way with the Hot 100.

Clip of Drake - "God's Plan"

Todd (VO): After the inexplicable popularity of the already-forgotten "God's Plan", anything is possible. The man has the formula to get hits. Todd: It's just, I don't know if he's ever deployed it so cynically.

Clip of Drake - "In My Feelings"

Drake: Kiki, do you love me

Todd (VO): In 2018, having already spawned a [image of Drake with text "YOLO"] catchphrase and an internet ["Drake the type of n***a to open a bag of chips with scissors"] meme, Drake got the viral trifecta [video of kid dancing to "In My Feelings"] by starting a dance craze. Now, this was pretty important for Drake, 'cause he'd just [single cover for Pusha T - "The Story of Adidon"] hit a real bumpy point in his career [video of two men dancing to "In My Feelings"] and then that dance popped up spontaneously and smoothed everything right out.

Clip of "Toosie Slide"

Todd (VO): So Drake must have been like "Hey, why don't we do that again on purpose this time?" The new dance is called [clip of Genius interview with Toosie] the Toosie Slide, named after its choreographer. [clip of Drake dancing in the "Hotline Bling" video] Shockingly, Drake did not choreograph it himself. Todd: And boy doesn't it make you wanna get up and dance.

Drake: Don't you wanna dance with me? No?

Todd: [nods] No. That's right, no.

Clips of "Juju on That Beat (TZ Anthem)" by Jay Hilfigerrr & Zaylon McCall, "Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae)" by Silento and "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" by Soulja Boy Tell 'Em

Todd (VO): You know, I've talked a lot of shit about the dance crazes of the past decade or so. I've actually been coming around on that for a while. At the very least Soulja Boy and Silento had that brash, youthful energy. As opposed to Drake, who at age 33 already sounds ready for retirement.

Clip of "Toosie Slide"

Drake: Left foot up, right foot slide

Todd (VO): What if the Cha Cha Slide had a bad hangover? That's the Toosie Slide.

Drake: Can't describe the pressure I've been putting on myself, yeah

Todd (VO): Now, under normal circumstances, I would call this a comically terrible song.

Todd: And I'm not even saying it isn't, but...

Todd (VO): ...as we live through quarantine-mania, the sensation that's sweeping the nation, I gotta say, this is...

Todd: ...the song of the lockdown.

Todd (VO): Not any of those other songs I mentioned, "Toosie Slide". "Toosie Slide" captures this moment so perfectly that when my kids ask me what the quarantine was like, I'm gonna do the Toosie Slide at them instead of answering.

Todd: And it's not just the fact that it came out during the quarantine and...

Todd (VO): ...Drake has to do the dance alone in his house.

Todd: No, let me explain.

Clip of woman dancing to BENEE ft. Gus Dapperton - "Supalonely", along with other TikTok dance clips

BENEE: I know I fucked up, I'm just a loser

Todd (VO): You see, one of the new surefire ways to promote a song is to come up with a stupid dance and pay some social media influencer to do it that everyone copies on TikTok. I don't really get it but apparently that's how it works.

Clip of DJ Khaled and Nicole Tuck doing the Toosie Slide

Drake: Right foot up

Todd (VO): Now there are some celebrities following the meme. [clip of Anthony Hopkins doing the dance] Here we see Sir Anthony Hopkins in a deleted scene from The Remains of the Day. Maybe he needed some of that Drake promo money to buy himself a new castle, or maybe he's just as bored as the rest of us. [clip of Marshmello doing the dance] I mean, Drake's probably big enough that he doesn't really need to buy promotion. This was going viral regardless.

Todd: But the thing is...