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The WORST Movies Nostalgia Critic's Reviewed

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(Interlude)
 
(Interlude)
   
Doug (vo): Number four...''Felix the Cat: the Movie''. And this is one that I got like lots of people telling me "You gotta do ''Felix the Cat: the Movie''. It's so terrible, it's so terrible." and...
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Doug (vo): Number four...''Felix the Cat: the Movie''. And this is one that I got like lots of people telling me "You gotta do Felix the Cat: the Movie. It's so terrible, it's so terrible." and...
   
Doug: I'll be honest I was sort of thinking "How terrible can it be? Felix the Cat? I mean what?". And it...again, just total nonsense and noise and yelling and animation that doesn't make sense did not have much control, the story...whatever it was, it was so...you know, it was hard to follow, it gets sidetracked a million times. There's a song about foxes for a second and then you never see them again, I mean, what was the point of that? All the...all the voices sound like they were horribly dubbed and I don't know if it was made somewhere else. But, I mean, it's...it's like watching those Popeye cartoons where the voices never match what they're saying, but where that was actually kinda funny and enjoyable, this was Satan's pubic hair, just made you want to kill yourself watching it and rip your ears out. The color scheme was horrible, these creatures are just...it's kind of like in the [[Scooby-Doo|''Scooby-Doo'']] movie where there's just too much to look at. I-it's the same thing with these creatures. It's like maybe one could get a good design but it just looks like someone (grabs the marker and opens it) took a pen, just sort of went (waves the marker at the camera, pretending to scribble and making a weird noise), gave it eyes and that's a creature. (closes the marker and puts it down) You know, it's - and when you have a million of those running around, and just screaming and yelling and just ugly yellows and ugly oranges and just not a good color scheme. And just constant noise and...you know, that dumbass princess character should be queen but again likes to keep the title, it's just - I know I go rants about that, it's my weird thing. But, it - that's just a pet peeve on mine. And Felix is just annoying and has that Mickey Mouse wannabe voice. And, what the hell else can I say about it? It, it was so unpleasant, it was so BORING. And for animation that's just constantly moving and just constantly jumping around and stuff like that. OK, good example of where that can work if it's controlled and it's smart. Uh, say ''Hotel Transylvania'', that's some of the most energized animation I've ever seen but it knew when to stop, it knew when to take a rest, it knew when to be still. You know, it knew that during, you know, the softer moments, you know, it needed to slow down, it needed to be a little calmer, it knew how to have a good color scheme, it knew how to do all this other stuff. Uh, this is just constant, it's this! (waves his arms at the camera) The whole time. If you like looking at this and something going (leans towards the camera and laughs high-pitched like Felix)... that's ''Felix the Cat''. That's the movie. You know, if that's your thing, you'll love it. You know, (gives a thumbs-up) enjoy! Just don't talk to me.
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Doug: I'll be honest I was sort of thinking "How terrible can it be? Felix the Cat? I mean what?". And it...again, just total nonsense and noise and yelling and animation that doesn't make sense did not have much control, the story...whatever it was, it was so...you know, it was hard to follow, it gets sidetracked a million times. There's a song about foxes for a second and then you never see them again, I mean, what was the point of that? All the...all the voices sound like they were horribly dubbed and I don't know if it was made somewhere else. But, I mean, it's...it's like watching those Popeye cartoons where the voices never match what they're saying, but where that was actually kinda funny and enjoyable, this was Satan's pubic hair, just made you want to kill yourself watching it and rip your ears out. The color scheme was horrible, these creatures are just...it's kind of like in the [[Scooby-Doo]] movie where there's just too much to look at. I-it's the same thing with these creatures. It's like maybe one could get a good design but it just looks like someone (grabs the marker and opens it) took a pen, just sort of went (waves the marker at the camera, pretending to scribble and making a weird noise), gave it eyes and that's a creature. (closes the marker and puts it down) You know, it's - and when you have a million of those running around, and just screaming and yelling and just ugly yellows and ugly oranges and just not a good color scheme. And just constant noise and...you know, that dumbass princess character should be queen but again likes to keep the title, it's just - I know I go rants about that, it's my weird thing. But, it - that's just a pet peeve on mine. And Felix is just annoying and has that Mickey Mouse wannabe voice. And, what the hell else can I say about it? It, it was so unpleasant, it was so BORING. And for animation that's just constantly moving and just constantly jumping around and stuff like that. OK, good example of where that can work if it's controlled and it's smart. Uh, say ''Hotel Transylvania'', that's some of the most energized animation I've ever seen but it knew when to stop, it knew when to take a rest, it knew when to be still. You know, it knew that during, you know, the softer moments, you know, it needed to slow down, it needed to be a little calmer, it knew how to have a good color scheme, it knew how to do all this other stuff. Uh, this is just constant, it's this! (waves his arms at the camera) the whole time. If you like looking at this and something going (leans towards the camera and laughs high-pitched like Felix)... that's ''Felix the Cat''. That's the movie. You know, if that's your thing, you'll love it. You know, (gives a thumbs-up) enjoy! Just don't talk to me.
   
 
==''#3: [[Little Monsters]]''==
 
==''#3: [[Little Monsters]]''==
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Doug(vo): Number three...''Little Monsters''. I saw this movie in the theaters. Let me tell you, I didn't like it when I saw it as a kid. I forgot how UNPLEASANT this movie is.
 
Doug(vo): Number three...''Little Monsters''. I saw this movie in the theaters. Let me tell you, I didn't like it when I saw it as a kid. I forgot how UNPLEASANT this movie is.
   
Doug: It was sort of trying to cash in on that wild, you know, crazy, supernatural guy who was a fast talker and, you know, was a little bit of a rebel but, you know, would also do impressions and stuff, you know, the Beetlejuice, the [[Aladdin |''Aladdin'' ]]genie and stuff like that. Uh, and Howie Mandel was there. I feel...(sighs) I feel bad for Howie Mandel in this movie 'cause you can tell he's trying, he's really trying to get something in there. But it's just...there's no direction. There's no - "Kind of do it like this or like that or whatever" and the whole movie sort of feels like that, like there's just not much of a direction in it. Um, once in a while you get a cool visual but even then, they're...they're fucking creepy for little kids. I mean, like, I felt this probably should've been like a PG-13 probably. Uh, and it's unpleasant to look at, even if the makeup is kind of cool on a lot of these creatures, it's just not fun to look at. And the idea's fun. I like the idea of monsters being under the bed, you go under there, there's a whole magical world and stuff like that. Um, it does drive me nuts everybody thinks ''[[Monsters, Inc.]]'' did that first. There's like a dozen ideas that did that. Um, but I like that one, I like that it's under the bed. The bed leads to this underground world. Uh, and you can go other beds and whatever. Um, but, yeah, the underground world isn't that impressive. You know, it's all red. Take some advice. Just nothing - shining a red light on something is not fun to look at. Uh, unless, you know, unless you're trying to create like an uncomfortable atmosphere like in ''Star Trek'' or like in ''Aliens'' or something like that. When it's a kid's story and this place is supposed to be really attractive, you want to hang out there, it's... Who the hell would want to hang out here? It's a horrible looking place. You know, you have red eye or something 'cause you're eyes are seeing nothing but red. Um, so, you got this movie, Fred Savage is obviously acting too adult. They're just doing nasty things to kids. Like, even as a kid watching it, I wasn't laughing that hard. I mean, it's sort of when you see them starting to put this stuff together, it's like "Oh, tee-hee, ha-ha. They're just kind of being rapscallions." but the Saran wrap on the toilet, I'm like "What the hell?!". That's like even little kids are just like (high voice) "Dude, you've gone too far. That's...you are fucked up!" (normal voice) That is just nasty! I don't even think, like, you'd have to convince ''Jackass'' to do something like that. Like, you know, "Oh, dude, that's totally gross, let me think about it, OK, let's do it.". I mean, they'd do it, but they have to think about it for a minute. Um, and I don't even remember who the bad guy is or what the plot really was, I mean, I remember something about trying to get a brother back. You know, but it's just so...not fun to watch and it's just this bad feeling you have watching the whole film and there's just no charm to it and it's just angry and bitter and-and very vengeful. And I don't know what we were supposed to learn in the end, if anything and it's just this...just creates bad feelings for me all around.
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Doug: It was sort of trying to cash in on that wild, you know, crazy, supernatural guy who was a fast talker and, you know, was a little bit of a rebel but, you know, would also do impressions and stuff, you know, the Beetlejuice, the [[Aladdin ]]genie and stuff like that. Uh, and Howie Mandel was there. I feel...(sighs) I feel bad for Howie Mandel in this movie 'cause you can tell he's trying, he's really trying to get something in there. But it's just...there's no direction. There's no - "Kind of do it like this or like that or whatever" and the whole movie sort of feels like that, like there's just not much of a direction in it. Um, once in a while you get a cool visual but even then, they're...they're fucking creepy for little kids. I mean, like, I felt this probably should've been like a PG-13 probably. Uh, and it's unpleasant to look at, even if the makeup is kind of cool on a lot of these creatures, it's just not fun to look at. And the idea's fun. I like the idea of monsters being under the bed, you go under there, there's a whole magical world and stuff like that. Um, it does drive me nuts everybody thinks ''[[Monsters, Inc.]]'' did that first. There's like a dozen ideas that did that. Um, but I like that one, I like that it's under the bed. The bed leads to this underground world. Uh, and you can go other beds and whatever. Um, but, yeah, the underground world isn't that impressive. You know, it's all red. Take some advice. Just nothing - shining a red light on something is not fun to look at. Uh, unless, you know, unless you're trying to create like an uncomfortable atmosphere like in ''Star Trek'' or like in ''Aliens'' or something like that. When it's a kid's story and this place is supposed to be really attractive, you want to hang out there, it's... Who the hell would want to hang out here? It's a horrible looking place. You know, you have red eye or something 'cause you're eyes are seeing nothing but red. Um, so, you got this movie, Fred Savage is obviously acting too adult. They're just doing nasty things to kids. Like, even as a kid watching it, I wasn't laughing that hard. I mean, it's sort of when you see them starting to put this stuff together, it's like "Oh, tee-hee, ha-ha. They're just kind of being rapscallions." but the Saran wrap on the toilet, I'm like "What the hell?!". That's like even little kids are just like (high voice) "Dude, you've gone too far. That's...you are fucked up!" (normal voice) That is just nasty! I don't even think, like, you'd have to convince ''Jackass'' to do something like that. Like, you know, "Oh, dude, that's totally gross, let me think about it, OK, let's do it.". I mean, they'd do it, but they have to think about it for a minute. Um, and I don't even remember who the bad guy is or what the plot really was, I mean, I remember something about trying to get a brother back. You know, but it's just so...not fun to watch and it's just this bad feeling you have watching the whole film and there's just no charm to it and it's just angry and bitter and-and very vengeful. And I don't know what we were supposed to learn in the end, if anything and it's just this...just creates bad feelings for me all around.
   
 
==''#2: [[Drop Dead Fred]]''==
 
==''#2: [[Drop Dead Fred]]''==
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Doug(vo): Number two...''Drop Dead Fred''. At some point I was sort of saying to myself "You know, there's a creative idea in here.". It's like, you know, OK, to take the idea...this girl who has an imaginary friend that...
 
Doug(vo): Number two...''Drop Dead Fred''. At some point I was sort of saying to myself "You know, there's a creative idea in here.". It's like, you know, OK, to take the idea...this girl who has an imaginary friend that...
   
Doug: I think she's created, I'm not sure, but, uh, at some point, whether mental or literally, the best friend is put away by the mother who says "You cannot do this anymore, no more of this." and-and from that point on, it's a very strict life, very, you know, not fun stuff, and very rule-oriented and very controlled by the mother. And then years, later, again, whether it be mental or literally physical, the friend comes back. Maybe it sparks a memory, maybe it sparks a hallucination. You know, or maybe it's really going on. Who knows? Maybe she's doing all this crazy stuff and all this crazy childhood insanity has come back and it's not filtered and it has avengence and stuff, like...that's a pretty cool fucking sounding movie! Honestly, when I heard, 'cause you keep hearing they're gonna remake it, remake it! [[When Should Remakes Not Happen?|You can make a good movie out of this!]] That's a really clever idea. I don't know what the ass shit this is! This is like...They-they get this guy who I KNOW can be a good actor. This guy has, uh, you know, he was in a lot of British TV and stuff, he can be very funny and very clever. Actually, even at the end, when he has to do his good-bye scene, like he's not that bad. Um, but they just make him do horrible shit without much focus. I mean, and stuff that's not really fun for kids is just kind of gross for adults. And constantly making references to like, you know, looking up women's dresses and stuff like that, saying (imitates Fred while pointing upward) "Look, no panties! Ha ha!", I mean, just these...First of all, what little girl had these kind of thoughts? I mean like where she has this like sex hungry addict guy, you know, like triple her age that, you know, is sort of, looks kind of like... I don't know what he looks like, just some sort of monster pedophile thing, I mean, this girl must have been really messed up to think this person up or maybe, 'cause I think they are implying that he actually does exist. It's like a world of imaginary creatures and stuff, that's stupid. But, (sighs and taps his hand on the arm of his chair) I just, I remember all these visuals, again going back to the crazy fast-talker who's a bit of a rebel. Um, you know, with the ''Little Monsters'', and ''Beetlejuice'' and stuff like that, this was again trying to cash in on that with a bit of an adult edge but it's just really...I mean part of having an adult edge is that, yes, kids can think very cruel and very, uh, immature obviously, but, there is still a charm to it, there's this charm of not understanding, this charm of learning to it and this is just... nastiness, I mean, just pure nastiness, you don't like this guy...all the other characters are fucking nuts! I mean part of the joke is that, you know, she's supposed to be interacting in a world, where everyone supposed to look at her a little crazy but it's like, everyone goes along with it... which ''can'' work in something like Pee-Wee's Big Adventure it worked, 3rd Rock from the Sun it worked, uh, but, here it's just, no, they're just...'cause they're not, they're not having fun, they're being awful also and not in a really clever way, they're just being kind of dicks, you don't know why they're being this dickish, you know..maybe once or twice that joke could work but it's like, everybody's this stupid, everybody this, mean, everybody, you know has no sense of logic at all it's like you have to have some connection back to logic for this stuff to work that's why 3rd Rock was so great; you know where that, that craziness is going from; you know the human animal, you know, but to have these people that are just like: "oh, I'll, go along with that because the script kinds wants me to go along with that because I have to agree with you on this stuff, so, we can have a romantic connection or something." I don't know it's... essaaaaaah! I, I... I, I, I, I just think these like, bad thoughts thinking of this film, BAD mean thoughts. 'Cause it was unpleasant, it was boring, I, it wasn't visually interesting, it wasn't that creative, it was loud, it was obnoxious, LONG! Really long there was like three moments where this movie could've ended and it just kept going! It has about three really good effects that you know they just threw all their budget in and then the rest they sort of, you know traded for these lame sets and these lame...really...(vents anger and frustration out in a restrictive way) I, I guess it annoys me even more 'cause it doesn't know if it's trying to be, uh, uh, a kids movie, like, like a kids movie being really adult or an adult movie being really childish. Either way, it fails I mean, 'cause it just, it can't pick a side and it can't, mesh them very well. (anger starts to build up) It's just unpleasant, it's unfunny, it's un-en-joyable it's, DROP DEAD FRED, DROP DEAD!
+
Doug: I think she's created, I'm not sure, but, uh, at some point, whether mental or literally, the best friend is put away by the mother who says "You cannot do this anymore, no more of this." and-and from that point on, it's a very strict life, very, you know, not fun stuff, and very rule-oriented and very controlled by the mother. And then years, later, again, whether it be mental or literally physical, the friend comes back. Maybe it sparks a memory, maybe it sparks a hallucination. You know, or maybe it's really going on. Who knows? Maybe she's doing all this crazy stuff and all this crazy childhood insanity has come back and it's not filtered and it has avengence and stuff, like...that's a pretty cool fucking sounding movie! Honestly, when I heard, 'cause you keep hearing they're gonna remake it, remake it! [[When Should Remakes Not Happen?|You can make a good movie out of this!]] That's a really clever idea. I don't know what the ass shit this is! This is like...They-they get this guy who I KNOW can be a good actor. This guy has, uh, you know, he was in a lot of British TV and stuff, he can be very funny and very clever. Actually, even at the end, when he has to do his good-bye scene, like he's not that bad. Um, but they just make him do horrible shit without much focus. I mean, and stuff that's not really fun for kids is just kind of gross for adults. And constantly making references to like, you know, looking up women's dresses and stuff like that, saying (imitates Fred while pointing upward) "Look, no panties! Ha ha!", I mean, just these...First of all, what little girl had these kind of thoughts? I mean like where she has this like sex hungry addict guy, you know, like triple her age that, you know, is sort of, looks kind of like... I don't know what he looks like, just some sort of monster pedophile thing, I mean, this girl must have been really messed up to think this person up or maybe, 'cause I think they are implying that he actually does exist. It's like a world of imaginary creatures and stuff, that's stupid. But, (sighs and taps his hand on the arm of his chair) I just, I remember all these visuals, again going back to the crazy fast-talker who's a bit of a rebel. Um, you know, with the ''Little Monsters'', and ''Beetlejuice'' and stuff like that, this was again trying to cash in on that with a bit of an adult edge but it's just really...I mean part of having an adult edge is that, yes, kids can think very cruel and very, uh, immature obviously, but, there is still a charm to it, there's this charm of not understanding, this charm of learning to it and this is just... nastiness, I mean, just pure nastiness, you don't like this guy...all the other characters are fucking nuts! I mean part of the joke is that, you know, she's supposed to be interacting in a world, where everyone supposed to look at her a little crazy but it's like, everyone goes along with it... which ''can'' work in something like Pee-Wee's Big Adventure it worked, 3rd Rock from the Sun it worked, uh, but, here it's just, no, they're just...'cause they're not, they're not having fun, they're being awful also and not in a really clever way, they're just being kind of dicks, you don't know why they're being this dickish, you know..maybe once or twice that joke could work but it's like, everybody's this stupid, everybody this, mean, everybody, you know has no sense of logic at all it's like you have to have some connection back to logic for this stuff to work that's why 3rd Rock was so great; you know where that, that craziness is going from; you know the human animal, you know, but to have these people that are just like: "oh, I'll, go along with that because the script kinds wants me to go along with that because I have to agree with you on this stuff, so, we can have a romantic connection or something." I don't know it's... essaaaaaah! I, I... I, I, I, I just think these like, bad thoughts thinking of this film, BAD mean thoughts. Cause it was, unpleasant, it was boring, i, it wasn't visually interesting, it wasn't that creative, it was loud, it was obnoxious, LONG! Really long there was like three moments where this movie could've ended and it just kept going! It has about three really good effects that you know they just threw all their budget in and then the rest they sort of, you know traded for these lame sets and these lame...really...(vents anger and frustration out in a restrictive way) I, I guess it annoys me even more 'cause it doesn't know if it's trying to be, uh, uh, a kids movie, like, like a kids movie being really adult or an adult movie being really childish. Either way, it fails I mean, 'cause it just, it can't pick a side and it can't, mesh them very well. (anger starts to build up) It's just unpleasant, it's unfunny, it's un-en-joyable it's, DROP DEAD FRED DROP DEAD!
   
 
==''#1: [[Garbage Pail Kids]]''==
 
==''#1: [[Garbage Pail Kids]]''==
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