The WEIRDEST Jack and the Beanstalk

The WEIRDEST Jack and the Beanstalk
Released	April 25, 2017
Duration	15:22
Previous	Clockstoppers
Next	TBA
Link	http://channelawesome.com/the-weirdest-jack-and-the-beanstalk/

(The shortened opening)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. When you're a kid, a lot of strange stuff seems normal.

(Cut to a shot of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

NC (vo): Ninja Turtles was average...

(Cut to a shot of the tea-party-on-the-ceiling scene from Mary Poppins)

NC (vo): ...tea parties on the ceiling was mundane, and being forced to dance in a banana suit dripping goat's blood was just Tuesday.

NC: Oh! (looks around shiftily) Only my parents had me do that? I... should've asked more questions. Regardless, a lot of those things, when you get older, seem... charming. (eyes shift around again) Some of them.

(Cut to a shot of The Secret of NIMH)

NC (vo): Some you put in the "whimsical enchantment" category...

(Cut to a shot of Garbage Pail Kids)

NC (vo): ...others you put in the "what the hell was I thinking watching this" category...

(Cut to a clip of the anime film version of "Jack and the Beanstalk")

NC (vo): ...and then there's those... you don't know where to put.

NC: Japan's 1974 English dub of Jack and the Beanstalk* falls into that category of "not knowing the category".

• NOTE: The English dub did not appear until 1976.

(Cut to a shot of the poster for this movie)

NC (vo): Like a fair amount of kids, I grew up with this bizarre adventure on VHS. It was available at a lot of rental stores at the time.

(Cut to footage of this film)

NC (vo): We watched it, it kept us quiet, and then we'd go about our everyday lives. But what we didn't know was that "what the Christ-ness" was leaving an impact on our memories that years later we'd say, "Was that really as freakin' insane as I remember it?"

NC: I'm hear to report, it freakin' is.