The Top Ten Best Hit Songs of 2024

The Top Ten Best Hit Songs of 2024
Date Aired	January 28, 2025
Running Time	38:00
Previous review	The Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2024
Next review	Bad Day
Website	https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkXpvScL94Q

Introduction

Todd plays Ariana Grande - "we can't be friends (wait for your love)" on the piano

The Top Ten Best Hit Songs of 2024

A year-end review

Todd: Am I too late? [timelapse of a clock moving forward] Yes, I'm finally getting the best list out. I swear to God, I am trying to get these out sooner. Boy, I sure failed this year. First the worst list took me forever, and I assume that it was because music was too good to really hate on this year.

Clip of Vox video recapping the music of 2024

Todd (VO): But then I tried to make this video, and uh, it turns out the actual problem is that I'm burnt out [cartoon image of a man sleeping in a chair] and lazy. Just like all the other years.

Todd: Honestly, instead of doing the list, I thought of just announcing my retirement. I mean, I was only doing this for the money anyway.

Todd (VO): But that doesn't feel right. If there's one year I can't skip out on doing the best list, it was 2024. One of the best years for music since streaming decimated the music industry.

Todd: You know what? Let's keep the memory of that wonderful year alive since... You know, [clip of NBC News story about the LA wildfires] this one's already off to a pretty rough start. [sighs] Maybe I can blame my laziness on the smoke inhalation. [clears throat] Well anyway, we're doing this. We're counting down!

Clip of Mark013 - "Stop the Feeling", which serves as the interlude throughout the countdown

The Weeknd: I can't

Ariana Grande: Wait for your love

Todd (VO): The Top Ten Best Hit Songs of 2024

Sabrina Carpenter: If you want forever

Billie Eilish: Might not be forever

#10

Todd (VO): Number 10

...one year ago

Todd (VO): Previously on Todd In the Shadows.

Clip from The Top Ten Best Hit Songs of 2023 segment on "Nonsense"

Todd: I'm gonna risk my luck and make another prediction who's on the up. [image of a crystal ball] Uh, you wanna know which pop star wannabe I think is gonna hit the A-list. Uh, here's my pick: Sabrina Carpenter.

Todd: Called it!

10. Sabrina Carpenter - "Espresso"

Sabrina: Now he's

Thinking 'bout me every night, oh

Isn't that sweet? I guess so

Todd: Oh! [mimes swinging a bat] Called it, called it, called it.

Todd (VO): Now, this seems like a really obvious prediction in hindsight. Well goddamnit, it wasn't, I want some credit for that. [clip of Olivia Rodrigo - "drivers license"] She was introduced to me as the bad guy in someone else's love triangle.

Olivia Rodrigo: You're probably with that blonde girl

Clip of Sabrina Carpenter - "because i liked a boy"

She tried to turn that around and play that for sympathy, but then she realized she could have more fun leaning into it.

Clip of "Espresso"

Sabrina: Say you can't sleep, baby, I know,

That's that me espresso

Todd (VO): Like, "Espresso" is not a song I loved immediately, but it is one of those songs that deservedly defined the year. I knew Sabrina had finally made it when it seemed like two weeks after it came out, literally everyone was talking about how they had the same lyric stuck in their head.

Sabrina: I'm working late cause I'm a singer

Oh, he looks so cute wrapped 'round my finger

Screenshot of of tweets about the lyric

If that left your head at any point last year, well, it's back. You're welcome. Man, remember Twitter? That's another thing we're leaving in 2024.

Sabrina: I can't relate to desperation

Todd (VO): What little I've seen of her acting career seems to have trained her well for this. [clips from The Hate U Give...] In the two things I've seen her in, she played a mean girl [...and Tall Girl] and a hot girl to be jealous of. [back to...] She brought all of that to "Espresso", this is the most beautifully arrogant pop song in recent memory.

Sabrina: My honeybee

This is low on the list because the groove is almost, like, boringly perfect.

Todd: But what it had more than anything is Sabrina.

Sabrina: You know I Mountain Dew it for ya

Todd: Yes! [pumps fists]

Sabrina: That morning coffee, brewed it for ya (Yes)

Todd (VO): Sabrina struggled through her Disney years trying to find her voice, but the thing that separates Sabrina from her peers is that she has a really weird sense of humor. [clip of live performance from...] Like, Dua Lipa, Tate McRae, they have jams. But when they sing their songs, I see work. [clip of "Espresso"] Sabrina is too goofy for that.

Sabrina: My twisted humor

Literally nobody else on Earth could've written the words "me espresso". And if they had, they would've given up on it immediately instead of Sabrina just rolling with it.

Sabrina: One touch and I brand-newed it for ya (Stupid)

Todd (VO): I fucking love that they left that in the song. I wish they hadn't done the extreme close-up of it during the video though. Just leave it in the background.

Sabrina: Holy shit

"Espresso" hit the sweet spot for me of a song that never, ever, ever gets old. No matter how many times you hear it, it never gets worse. In fact, it only gets better.

Todd: In the future, when they make movies about 2024. When they make the... [image of...] Moo Deng biopic or whatever, they're gonna establish the setting...

Todd (VO): ...by playing "Espresso".

Todd: That's that me impresso? Uh, I think you have to be hot to pull that wordplay off.

Sabrina: That's that me espresso

Interlude

#9

Todd (VO): Number 9

Todd: You ever think about dying?

Clip of Lady Gaga & Bruno Mars - "Die With a Smile"

Lady Gaga: If the world was ending, I'd wanna be next to you

Todd (VO): Well, the pop charts sure are. Right now, the number 1 song in America is about loving you 'til you die.

Bruno Mars: And die with a smile

Clip of Billie Eilish - "BIRDS OF A FEATHER"

And there's another song in the top 10 about loving you 'til you die.

Billie: 'Til the day that I die

Todd (VO): Decent songs, both of them, but there's another song about loving you until the day you die that I think has been overlooked. Which...

Todd: ...I don't think it would've been if she'd released a goddamn video!

9. Beyoncé ft. Miley Cyrus - "II MOST WANTED"

Todd (VO): A couple months ago, Beyoncé remembered that she should actually promote the record she made at the start of the year [clip from the Beyoncé Bowl performance] and did a halftime show on Christmas. Unfortunately, one of the songs she did not play was the final single and probably the best song on the record.

Miley Cyrus: Came out of nowhere, didn't give no warning

Beyoncé: Pedal so heavy like the two most wanted

Clip of Beyoncé - "TEXAS HOLD 'EM" visualizer

Beyoncé kicked off a weird year for country music where it was not clear what exactly counted as country music anymore. And why Beyoncé didn't count apparently. [clip of "I Had Some Help" ft. Morgan Wallen by...] Unlike Post Malone, who sucked up to every bro in a ballcap, [clips from Beyoncé Bowl...] Beyoncé went with less established artists, elder legends, and fellow pop stars. [...and live performance from...] Including Miley Cyrus, who herself could've been a really good country star if she wanted to. [clip of Miley Cyrus Glastonbury performance] She's got a thick accent she never got rid of, she's got that sharp, keening voice that lends itself well to country. [image of Miley with Billy Ray Cyrus] Unfortunately, that means she would have to spend more time with her country star dad, who she does not talk to anymore. [clip of Miley performing with...] But she's still the goddaughter of Dolly Parton and she still has it in her DNA. And apparently she had this tune in her back pocket for years when Beyoncé asked if she wanted to be on the album.

Clip of "II MOST WANTED"

Beyoncé & Miley: I'll be your shotgun rider 'til the day I die

Smoke out the window, flyin' down the 405

Todd (VO): This may be Miley's finest moment as a pure songwriter. It's really more Miley's song than Beyoncé's, [clip from...] which is probably why Beyoncé didn't perform it at the Beyoncé Bowl

Todd: There's something kinda beautiful right now to hear a wistful little outlaw ballad where two women profess their undying love to each other.

Beyoncé & Miley: Your backseat baby, driving you crazy anytime you like

Todd (VO): That's probably why country radio didn't pick it up. Although it's [brief clips of Charli XCX ft. Billie Eilish - "Guess"...] actually one of [...and Chappell Roan - "Casual"] the less lesbian songs that came out this year. [clip from the Beyoncé Bowl] But you know, still too much for country radio. That and it didn't have any established Nashville stars, and had no video, and it was too female.

Todd: And honestly, it didn't suck enough.

Todd (VO): But Beyoncé apparently needs nor wants to promote anything anymore. So this song still hit the top 10 for a week, so good for them.

Todd: I do wish they made a video though. I mean, it's an...

Clip of Lady Gaga ft. Beyoncé - "Telephone"

Todd (VO): ...outlaw love ballad. It could've been the sequel to "Telephone" we never got. [back to "II MOST WANTED"]

Beyoncé: I know we're jumping the gun and we're both still young

But one day, we won't be

Clip from the Beyoncé Bowl

You know, I predicted that Beyoncé was finally gonna win that big Grammy this year. Uh, I wasn't sure of that by mid-year since critics seemed to be all falling off of it. But I think Beyoncé Bowl has made her the frontrunner for the Grammy again. This is her year, I'm calling it, and we'll see if I'm right.

Todd: Assuming it hasn't already happened by the time I get this video out. We'll see.

Beyoncé & Miley: 'Til the day I, 'til the day I die, ooh

Interlude

#8

Todd (VO): Number 8

Todd: Uh, gotta do a quick sponsor read here. This video is brought to you by...

Clip of commercial for...

Todd (VO): ...Jersey Mike's.

Todd: How do you like your Jersey Mike's?

Todd (VO): I always get the classic Italian with prosciutto, topped with...

Todd: ...tomatoes, pickles, banana peppers, mayonnaise, and-

8. Kendrick Lamar ft. Lefty Gunplay - "tv off"

Kendrick Lamar: MUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!

Ni**as acting bad, but somebody gotta do it

Todd: Good shit.

Kendrick: Fuck being rational, give 'em what they asked for

Todd (VO): Kendrick Lamar finished off the year with a blockbuster album, GNX. Which I would call basically his, uh, [album cover for...] his Born in the USA. [clip of Bruce Springsteen live performance] Like, "I know I'm already the best artist alive. But what if I were also the fucking biggest?" [clip of Kendrick Lamar - "squabble up"] You know, what if?

Clip of "tv off"

Kendrick: I get on they ass, somebody gotta do it

Like, I was kinda shocked at how commercial the new album was. Like, this baby is designed to sell. [album cover for...] Even more than DAMN. was. [clip of Kendrick Lamar - "HUMBLE."] DAMN. sounds like an eight hour loop of guitar feedback compared to GNX.

Clip of "tv off"

Kendrick: Don't put your life in these weird ni**as' hands, baby

Todd (VO): Yeah, Mr. "slow down and be humble" is pretty done with being humble. I saw some Drake fans kinda crowing about it, like, "Oh-ho-ho, who's the pop star now?"

Todd: And the answer is Kendrick. He's better at that, too.

Todd (VO): But they do have a point. Cause it does seem like Kendrick's...

Todd: ...accusation that "only you like being famous".

Clip of Kendrick performing "euphoria"

Kendrick: Only you like being-

Todd: Uh, that wasn't true.

Clip of "squabble up"

Todd (VO): Because this is an album from a guy who enjoyed being on top of the fucking world. Like, this record swings. It slaps.

Todd: And the amazing thing is that Kendrick did it without sacrificing a single thing about himself.

Clip of "tv off"

Kendrick: Ni**a feel like he entitled cause he knew me since a kid

Bitch, I cut my granny off if she don't see it how I see it

Todd (VO): Like, during the whole Drake-Kendrick feud, I was like, wondering to myself, what is the case against Kendrick? And I guess you could say he can come off preachy.

Todd: I wouldn't say that, but you could.

Kendrick: It's not enough

Few solid ni**as left, but it's not enough

Todd (VO): And I think after the blockbuster of "Not Like Us", he realized that when he has DJ Mustard behind him, he can be as preachy as he wants.

Image of a mom scolding her son appears as the song plays

Kendrick: Turn this TV off, turn this TV off

There's no one real anymore, that sounds like my dad talking about football players these days.

Todd: I can imagine a universe where this gets on my nerves. But it would have to be one where Kendrick wasn't working with...

Kendrick: MUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!

Todd (VO): Gotta give 'em what they asked for.

Todd: They asked for...

Image of DJ Mustard appears as the song plays

Kendrick: MUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!

Todd (VO): I ask sometimes what's the best two second of music in a year. This year, there was no competition.

Clip from compilation of people reacting to "tv off"

Stevie Knight: Oh, we got a switch.

Like, I don't often look up react videos on YouTube, but I had to for this one. That's some good shit, look how happy everyone is.

Todd: Besides, he's right.

Clip of "tv off"

Kendrick: Turn this TV off, turn this TV off

Todd (VO): He can lecture us all he wants, he's right. We do need to turn the TV off.

Todd: Let's all make a commitment to touch some grass this year.

Todd (VO): Turn the TV off, turn YouTube off, honestly. Thank you, Kendrick.

Lefty Gunplay: Crazy, scary, spooky hilarious

Crazy, scary, spooky hilarious

Interlude

#7

Todd (VO): Number 7

Footage of a Times Square billboard lighting up with the Brat cover

Todd: Charli XCX has always been a very frustrating artist to me.

Clip of Charli XCX - "Break the Rules"

Charli XCX: I just wanna break the rules

Todd (VO): She would make hits, [screenshot of article "Believe It Or Not, Charli XCX Hates Her Hit 'Break The Rukes'"] shit on them, [clips of Charli XCX - "2099"...] make her own special weird shit that was obviously never gonna sell, but then seem to get angry that she wasn't bigger, [...and Charli XCX ft. Rina Sawayama - "Beg For You"] and then she'd make more commercial stuff, but she'd broadcast that she thought it sucked. I remember five years ago, Pitchfork calling her [screenshot of the Pitchfork article] the "pop star of the future", and I've always been like, when? When is this future?

Todd: Is it the future where we supposedly all eat [advertisement for...] Dippin' Dots? Well... the future's here.

Clip of "Guess"

Charli: Put 'em in your mouth, pull 'em all down South

Todd (VO): Brat Summer was an absolute joy. At long last, the moment where [clip of Billboard video about the Sweat Tour] both the general public and Charli XCX liked Charli XCX's music. Considering its cultural reach, Brat actually didn't do as well on the charts as you might think, but...

Todd: ...of the charting hits from it, my favorite was actually the least bratty of them all.

7. Charli XCX - "Apple"

Charli: I guess the apple don't fall far from the tree

Cause I've been looking at you so long, now I only see me

Todd (VO): Charli XCX made Brat to get away from all this [clip of "drivers license"] confessional relationship lowercase pop crap and bring us back to the 2000s-era hot mess girl pop. You would've thought it was nothing but partying and fucking based on those aesthetics, but there's actually a whole lot of deep emotional stuff in there.

Charli: I know there's lots of different nuances to you and to me

Todd (VO): It's a surprisingly emotionally complicated album that just happens to sound like Britney-era club bangers. [brief clip of "Coconuts" by...] This is why Kim Petras fails and Charli succeeds. [back to...] The fan favorite that really caught on was "Apple".

Charli: I wanna grow the apple, keep all the seeds

But I can't help but get so angry, you don't listen to me

Todd (VO): Which is mostly about a fraught relationship with your parents; you know, not being understood, trying to keep the good parts from them but wondering what awful parts you've also picked up from them.

Todd: Just getting fed up and leaving.

Charli: Feels like you never understand me

So I just wanna drive, to the airport

Todd (VO): Relatable, am I right? Yeah, after a week visiting my parents, I also started wanting to get on a plane. And I hate flying, but I will...

Todd: ...start daydreaming about TSA lines. Heh... Hi, mom and dad. Love ya.

Todd (VO): But of course, generational angst is not why it caught on.

Footage of three people doing a TikTok dance to the song

Charli: I think the apple's rotten right to the core

Todd (VO): Uh, it was rescued by TikTok, which... I mean, [headline talking about the TikTok ban] I guess it still has a few months left; who knows? If it dies tomorrow, it comes away with one last good hit on its tally.

Todd: I mean, I go back and forth on TikTok, but as far as promoting music goes, I would say it has...

Todd (VO): ...a winning record. Just barely. It's over five hundred. And the dance is cute too.

Charli: I wanna know where you go when you're feeling alone

When you're feeling alone, do you?

Todd (VO): Actually, I don't know why I said this wasn't brat. Screaming at your parents and storming out is definitionally brat. And as Brat Summer has given way to Grump Winter, I miss it more than ever.

Todd: [sighs] Come back, lime green.

Charli: I love you all! [crowd cheers]

Interlude

#6

Todd (VO): Number 6

Todd: [clears throat] Ladies and gentlemen! Please rise for our national anthem!

Opening notes of... wait for it...

Todd: [puts his hand on his chest]

Mustard: Mustard on the beat, ho

6. Kendrick Lamar - "Not Like Us"

Kendrick Lamar: Ay, Mustard on the beat, ho

Deebo, any rap ni**a, he a free-throw

Todd (VO): Uh, I notice there are some repeat artists on my list, and I forced myself to limit it to a maximum of two per artist; otherwise, there'd be five Kendrick songs on here. And GNX was such an amazing album that I, uh, I nearly put two GNX tracks on here and left "Not Like Us" off.

Todd: Which... Who would I have been fucking kidding?

Kendrick: Sometimes you gotta pop out and show ni**as

Todd (VO): I realize that even at #6, this is shockingly low on the list. Like, let's be clear that just because "Not Like Us" isn't my song of the year doesn't mean it wasn't the song of the goddamn year. It may well be the song of the next year too, depending on how that Super Bowl half-time show plays out.

Todd: Assuming that already hasn't happened yet by the time I finish this goddamn video.

Kendrick: Say, Drake, I hear you like 'em young

You better not ever go to cell block one

Todd (VO): Anyway, I listen to "Not Like Us" now, and I do remember I had some objections to it; like, I thought Kendrick, our most important rapper, had maybe better things to talk about, more pressing issues than [image of Drake] one guy who sucked. Like, does anyone even remember who that guy was? What was his name?

Todd: This is, of course, rank hypocrisy on my part. "Look at this guy who sucks" is, like, half of my entire catalog. And as a born hater, I have to respect the master.

Kendrick: Tryna strike a chord and it's probably A minor

Todd (VO): I can only hope to write a negative review even a fraction as good as Kendrick's.

Kendrick: Ni**as need to stay they ass inside, ay

Roll they ass up like a fresh pack of 'za, ay

Todd (VO): Like, this wasn't so much a song as it was an event. It's like being there for Ali–Frazier, if Frazier was a creepy douche who had said dozens of gross, unpleasant things about women for a decade.

Todd: With this being a pretty weak year for the movies and [promo image for the MCU] all that Marvel shit apparently on the decline...

Todd (VO): ..."Not Like Us" was the superhero movie of the year. Like, rarely do you see a celebrity beef where the hero and the villain is written out so clearly. [album covers for Ja Rule's Venni Vetti Vicci and 50 Cent's Get Rich or Die Trying] In most rap beefs, at best, there's usually just a winner and a loser, but "Not Like Us" is a story of good triumphing over evil, and it is exactly the song we need.

Todd: Unless Drake has some killer response.

Clip of Drake - "The Heart Part 6"

Drake: You mentionin' A minor, but ni**as gotta B sharp

Clip of The Breakfast Club radio show

Jess Hilarious: Drake filed a lawsuit for defamation against Universal Music Group.

Clip of the Drizzmas Giveaway stream

Adin Ross: Free up T Lanez too, am I right?

Drake: Oh yeah. Free Tory, chat!

...and back to "The Heart Part 6"

Drake: You thought you left D flat, D major

Todd: Good fucking riddance.

Todd (VO): Like, I was dead serious that this should be our national anthem. [image of lyrics to...] Like, I don't even know what "The Star-Spangled Banner" is about! What the hell is a "rampart"?

Todd: You want a song about [picture of Kendrick] American victory over a [picture of Drake in front of the Canadian flag] ruthless foreign empire, this is your song. Play it before the Super Bowl, not at half-time, Kendrick!

Video for "Not Like Us" ends

Interlude

#5

Todd (VO): Number 5

Todd: Okay, I, uh, I want to say something about Billie Eilish here real quick.

Video for... wait for it...

Billie: Birds of a feather, we should stick together, I know

Todd (VO): Uh, what you're seeing here is her biggest hit this year, "BIRDS OF A FEATHER". It wasn't the lead single, but it was immediately picked out as the fan favorite, the radio single, and so on. And while fans took to it immediately, what I was struck by listening to it is that...

Todd: ...it-it feels like it has no Billie Eilish in it.

Clips of Billie Eilish's "Therefore I Am"...

Todd (VO): Like, what makes Billie Eilish great is her personality. [..."Happier Than Ever"...] Like, every single Billie song I have ever heard, [...and "bury a friend"] it was obvious who was singing it, whether she was happy, sad, cocky, angry; it was clearly always her.

Todd: And "BIRDS OF A FEATHER" seems to have nothing of that.

Billie: Cause it was always you

Todd (VO): If you hadn't told me, I wouldn't have even guessed it was her. This album was marketed as her most personal yet...

Todd: ...but my take on this song is that... it could've been sung by anybody.

5. Billie Eilish - "BIRDS OF A FEATHER"

Billie: I'll love you 'til the day that I die

'Til the day that I die

Todd (VO): "BIRDS OF A FEATHER" by Billie Eilish is one of the best songs I've ever fucking heard. The fact that I only have this at #5 makes me wanna fucking puke. Like, take that as a sign of how amazingly stacked this year was that this song is that low. I guarantee you that I'm going to have all the time in the world to regret where I placed it, because this song is fucking timeless. This is going to be your grandkids' prom theme.

Todd: You are going to be hearing this song for the rest of your life.

Billie: I want you to see, hm

Todd (VO): So when I say this song doesn't really sound like Billie Eilish, I do not mean that as a complaint. Like, I love Billie, but this song transcends Billie. It transcends 2024. Not only would I have not guessed who sang it, I would not have been able to tell you when in the last forty years it was made.

Todd: It feels like it's always existed.

Billie: Don't wanna say goodbye

Birds of a feather

Todd (VO): A big reason why this sounds so different from her is that she doesn't sing it like she usually sings. She got famous for barely whispering her way through her songs, but she's become a lot more confident, I think, and this is a career best performance from her as a vocalist.

Billie: Tell me it's a bit, oh

Todd (VO): Like, she does things with her voice I legitimately thought she was incapable of doing. But she must've known she was out of her wheelhouse writing direct, sincere love songs, and if she was gonna write different, she should sound different too.

Billie: (Byyyyyyyyyeee) But if it's forever, it's even better

Todd (VO): This is Billie proving that she can do it not just as a, you know, [clip of Billie Eilish - "bad guy"] game-changing voice-of-a-generation pop star, but also just, like, [back to "BIRDS OF A FEATHER"] a songwriter who writes really good songs about being in love. Like, you know, just happy, silly love songs about how she'll love you forever. It makes me really excited for what she does in the future, because this girl has range. Like, the girl who wrote "bury a friend" wrote this; good God. What can't she do? She gonna write a musical next? I wouldn't be surprised.

Todd: Assuming she hasn't done it already by the time I finish this episode.

Video for "Birds of a Feather" ends

Interlude

#4

Todd (VO): Number 4

Clip of Miley Cyrus twerking on Robin Thicke at the MTV Video Music Awards

Robin Thicke: Oh yes, you are (Can't let it get past me)

Todd (VO): The thing about pop stars trying to sex up their image is that it can just go [clips of Taylor Swift - "Look What You Made Me Do"...] so very wrong. [...MC Hammer - "Pumps and a Bump"...] Very, incredibly wrong. [...and Christina Aguilera ft. Redman - "Dirrty"] Like, even the ones who you'd call technically successful at it often come off as tryhard. Like, trying way, way, way too hard.

Todd: That's why it's important to note who can do it right, and, uh... as you can probably tell, I'm using this segue to talk about Sabrina Carpenter again.

4. Sabrina Carpenter - "Juno"

Todd (VO): Yeah, there's a bunch of repeat artists on here, sue me.

Sabrina: Don't have to tell your hot ass a thing

Oh, yeah, you just get it

Todd (VO): Sabrina Carpenter swears she's not actually that horny, and if you listen to the album, it's not actually that sexual. But the best songs on it are the horniest, and the very horniest one is the best one.

Sabrina: I might let you make me Juno, you know

Todd (VO): "Make me Juno" is possibly an even stupider forced line than "me espresso", and in general, I find all the, you know, "put a baby in me" sexy talk pretty gross; like, I-I didn't think that's why we were doing this.

Todd: Uh, I'm not... I'm not ready for that responsibility.

Todd (VO): But this is what I mean about not trying too hard; Sabrina's just too good at this. Like, she gets away with it because her retro pin-up girl packaging makes it all go down very easy. Anyway, her song "Juno" was not technically a single, but it lasted on the charts all year, and full disclosure: it's probably the song I listened to the most this year.

Todd: It was apparently a centerpiece of her concerts.

Clip of Sabrina Carpenter performing "Juno" live

Todd (VO): Uh, but... for the reasons that it became too dirty to release to radio.

Sabrina: Wanna try on some freaky positions?

Back to concert clips, making various "positions"

Sabrina: Have you ever tried this one?

Have you ever tried this one?

Have you ever tried this one?

Todd (VO): Please don't get me demonetized, Sabrina.

Sabrina: Adore me, hold me and explore me

Todd (VO): What I like about Sabrina is that she's not singing about this stuff to be shocking. Uh, it's because she likes sex, and she enjoys it.

Sabrina: I'm so fuckin' horny

Todd (VO): But more than anything, I just like this song as music. Like, I have no idea how she got it into her head that her sonic palate should be [clip of "Little Lies" by...] 80s Fleetwood Mac, an underrated period of Mac, but thank God that that's what she was inspired by.

Todd: Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's very horny, but like, check out that guitar solo!

Guitar solo plays

Todd (VO): And whoever is doing that killer Mick Fleetwood impression on the drums.

Drum fill plays

Todd (VO): Give that guy a raise.

Todd: I swear, I'm not here to perv out over a former child star singing about sex; I just like the guitar solo, I swear!

Sabrina: You make me wanna make you fall in love

Interlude

#3

Todd (VO): Number 3

Clip of Tyler, the Creator ft. Daniel Caesar - "St. Chroma"

Tyler, the Creator: Chromakopia, Chromakopia

Todd: All due respect to Kendrick, but Tyler, the Creator made my favorite rap album this year.

Todd (VO): Which is funny, cause I've never really been much of an Odd Future guy, which has always made me feel irredeemably basic. Yes, I liked Blonde and Igor and all that stuff, but I never really took any of that Odd Future stuff as part of my soul. [clip of Tyler, the Creator ft. Kali Uchis - "See You Again"] I'm sorry, I just like pop songs I can hear on the radio, and Frank Ocean and Tyler and all that crew are not that kind of artist. Tyler's always been big on streaming, and only ever gets bigger, but I didn't think I'd ever hear him on the radio or anything.

Clip of a live performance by Tyler, the Creator

Tyler: You hear that?

Todd: Wrong again!

3. Tyler, the Creator ft. GloRilla, Sexxy Red & Lil Wayne - "Sticky"

GloRilla: But I'm knuckin' if you buckin', ho

Tyler and GloRilla: It's gettin' sticky

Todd (VO): I don't know that I'd have picked "Sticky" out as a radio hit when I first heard it: too complicated, too many beat changes. It's just obviously not gonna catch on, for the same reason Tyler, big as he is, has never had a top 10 hit on rap radio. Can't play this next to Future and Chris Brown.

Tyler: Bitch, I am the better me

Jack of all trades, name a ni**a who ahead of me

Todd (VO): The second time I heard it, it sounded to me about as surefire a hit as a Bruno Mars duet. First off, the beat just fucking kills no matter how many times it changes. Secondly, I should've been tipped off by the guest stars: [clips of Glorilla ft. Sexxy Red - "WATCHU KNO ABOUT ME"...] two of the hottest female MCs alive, and also [...and "Uneasy" by Jon Batiste and...] Lil Wayne, still putting up killer guest verses like it's 2009.

Jazmine Freeman: Sticky, sticky, sticky, bitch

Todd (VO): Like, the guest stars weren't credited at first, and I think it loses a little something when you aren't going into it blind, and all of a sudden, there are all these cool surprise cameos.

GloRilla: Sneaky link, she say that's her n***a, I don't give a fuck

Todd (VO): Can I say, I'm so glad [clip of live performance from...] GloRilla took off. I was worried that it was gonna be one of those artists I repped for who immediately disappeared. It feels like there's just not a lot of conversation around her; she just keeps uncontroversially coming out with more bangers.

Clip of "Sticky"

Sexxy Red: Sexyy in this bitch, Tyler in this bitch, we turnt as fuck

Todd (VO): Also, I like that between her and Sexxy Red, this is the rare gender-equal posse cut.

Tyler: See, I'm a Westside ni**a from the zone

Todd (VO): Possibly more women than men, depending on how you count femme-Tyler at the beginning of the song.

Tyler: Give a fuck 'bout pronouns

I'm that ni**a and that bitch, it's gettin' sticky

Todd (VO): I love how that feels offensive at first, and then it isn't. I think this might go down as the quintessential Tyler line, and a line that only he could get away with.

Todd: She could get away with?

Todd (VO): It's like the culmination of every Tyler that existed: [clips of Tyler, the Creator's "Yonkers"...] the edgelord original flavor Tyler, [...and "EARFQUAKE"] and the "Ha ha, I was gay all along!" Tyler.

Lil Wayne: Better find a mop, it's gettin' sticky in this bitch

Todd (VO): And then the horns fucking kick in, and it just fucking stomps you into the ground. This is Tyler's version of a Dirty South anthem; it's weird as hell, there's a little bit of gender fuckery, and it's the closest thing to a radio hit he's ever gotten. And he did it the hard way, just by getting bigger and bigger until he couldn't be ignored. Within two listens, I couldn't get this song out of my head.

Todd: It got sticky!

Tyler: Gettin' sticky, sticky, sticky, sticky

Interlude

#2

Todd (VO): Number 2

Clip of Chappell Roan's Lollapalooza performance

Announcer: I am...the Midwest... PRINCESS!

Todd (VO): I'm glad I have the extended victory lap over predicting Sabrina Carpenter's rise, because...

Todd: ...I am not even going to half-pretend I saw this coming.

Clip of Chappell Roan - "HOT TO GO!"

Chappell: 5, 6, 5 6 7 8

Todd (VO): I don't know that I have ever seen a rise this meteoric in my lifetime. [clip of Lollapalooza performance from...] Chappell Roan went from unknown to headliner in, like, two months. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen. [clip of Chappell Roan - "My Kink Is Karma"] Like, part of that was that she already had a killer neglected album from the previous year just waiting to be discovered, and I had every note of it hammered into my head in 2024. [clip of Chappell's VMA performance] But it wasn't just the back catalog; the Femininomenon wouldn't have kicked off if she hadn't already made so much good music this year, too.

Todd: And by "so much music this year", I mean she released one song this year. It was the only song she needed.

Chappell: I just wanna love someone who calls me "baby"

2. Chappell Roan - "Good Luck, Babe!"

Chappell: You can kiss a hundred boys in bars

Shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling

Todd (VO): A lot of Chappell Roan's first album sounds like it was made right when she realized why, uh... [brief clip of Chappell Roan - "Red Wine Supernova"] why she doesn't enjoy dating guys, and about how much better it is dating girls.

Todd: And it sounds like in 2024, she realized that that has its own problems.

Chappell: Good luck, babe! (Well, good luck!)

Well, good luck, babe! (Well, good luck!)

You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

Todd: "Good Luck, Babe!" comes from the tradition of the "I told you so!" anthem, or the "You're gonna miss me!" anthem.

Clip of Keith Urban - "You'll Think of Me"

Keith Urban: In fact I'll feel a whole lot better

But you'll think of me

Todd (VO): It has a long history. I don't know if it's a proud history.

Clip of The All-American Rejects - "Gives You Hell"

Tyson Ritter: Tomorrow, you'll be thinkin' to yourself

"Yeah, where did it all go wrong?"

Todd (VO): Like, I know you have to take songs on their own terms, but like, this kind of thing is almost always wishful thinking. [clip of Taylor Swift performing "All Too Well" on SNL] You just have to try and roll with the singer's perspective, and just try and not remember that every time you felt this way, it was absolutely not true.

Todd: You're gonna miss me! And you're gonna say, "Oh, I shouldn't have dumped him just because he 'didn't have a real job' and 'became sorely neglectful of hygiene'!" You'll be back!

Clip of Chappell's VMA performance

Chappell: You can say that we are nothin', but you know the truth

Todd (VO): But in this song, Chappell is gay, and is singing to some closet case who keeps trying to slot herself into a straight couple like you're supposed to do.

Chappell: You can kiss a hundred boys in bars

Todd (VO): And that really does add something. Like, I guess Chappell could still be wrong; maybe this other chick would be [image of a 1950s couple] perfectly happy in a hetero marriage. But bringing queerness into the equation does make it feel a lot more plausible, doesn't it? Like, that is a thing that actually happens. That is a reason people dump a perfectly good partner and regret it later.

Chappell: And I cry, it's not fair

Todd (VO): I feel every ounce of what Chappell is feeling, and when we get to the bridge, I get...

Todd: ...so angry.

Chappell: And when you wake up next to him in the middle of the night

With your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife

Todd (VO): Like, what the fuck are you doing dating men when you're clearly not that into it...

Todd: ...and you could be such a happy lesbian couple with me? And I'm- what the fuck am I talking about?! I don't know!

Chappell: You know I hate to say it, but, "I told you so"

Todd (VO): I don't know! I have no right to relate to this, but I just get it. And to be fair, being jerked around knows no gender. This song breaks my heart. And then the song just dies, like a good burst of anger deflates into the nothing you're left with at the end. Brutal.

Todd: I cry, it's not fair.

Chappell: You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

Honorable mentions

Todd: And before we get to #1, some honorable mentions.

Future & Metro Boomin ft. Kendrick Lamar - "Like That"

Future: Dealer, sellin' dope, is you like that?

Todd (VO): This actually might be Kendrick's finest moment of the year. And Future's verses are pretty good too.

Luke Combs - "Where the Wild Things Are"

Luke Combs: Oh, oh-oh

Todd (VO): I like this song a lot. And I am finding country music increasingly difficult to listen to, considering... you know, what it stands for.

Todd: Luke, I'm really gonna need you to be one of the good ones.

Luke: When the sky goes dark

Out where the wild things are

GloRilla - "Yeah Glo!"

GloRilla: Yeah, Glo! Stomp a lil' pussy ho

Todd (VO): YEAH, GLO!

Todd: Love GloRilla. Love her.

Beach Bunny - "Clueless"

Lili Trifilio: Was it better? I was younger

Different problems, different name

Todd (VO): This is my one non-hit that I always include. Uh, I found this one trying to catalog every music video where the artist does karaoke to their own song.

Lili: How did I change? How did it change?

Todd: Weird way to find one of my favorite songs of the year.

Charli XCX ft. Lorde - "Girl, so confusing featuring Lorde"

Charli XCX: Girl, it's so confusing

Todd (VO): Pop songs gave us a lot of useful phrases in 2024: "weird case", "match my freak", "me espresso".

Todd: But my absolute favorite was "work it out on the remix".

Lorde: Let's work it out on the remix

Todd (VO): And more than anything, Charli and Lorde gave us a song about two women having an experience you so rarely see on the pop charts.

Todd: The shared joy of making juicy content.

Muni Long - "Made for Me"

Muni Long: You were made for me (Just for me)

Todd (VO): Muni Long is reaching Bruno Mars levels where you can just be guaranteed that any song you hear from her is great. Like, I'm dying for her to release a song I love so much that she makes the list proper.

Shaboozey - "A Bar Song (Tipsy)"

Shaboozey: Someone pour me up a double shot of whiskey

Todd (VO): You know, for the most popular song of all time, it's pretty decent.

Todd: Yeah... yeah, I like this.

Shaboozey: Everybody at the bar gettin' tipsy

That's fuckin' messed up, bro, they kicked me out the bar

Todd: And with no further ado, let's have it.

Interlude

#1

Todd (VO): Number 1

Video for... wait for it...

Todd (VO): In April of 2020, a struggling up-and-coming artist released what would effectively be her debut single.

1. Chappell Roan - "Pink Pony Club"

Chappell: I know you wanted me to stay

But I can't ignore the crazy visions of me in L.A.

Clip of Chappell Roan - "Good Hurt"

Todd (VO): She had had other songs, other videos before then, but she's unrecognizable in them. This would be the first where she really revealed herself to the world.

Clip of "Pink Pony Club"

Chappell: I heard that there's a special place

Where boys and girls can all be queens every single day

Footage of barren streets in the wake of the pandemic

Todd (VO): April of 2020 was a bad time to be releasing a song about going to the club. [back to "Pink Pony Club"] The song went nowhere, and she was dropped from her label.

Todd: A year after, with the lockdowns loosening up, [headline declaring "Pink Pony Club" the 2021 song of the summer] Vulture declared that the time was right for this song to be the song of the summer, two summers late. That didn't happen either.

Clip of "My Kink Is Karma"

Todd (VO): Two years after that, she released her debut album on a new label, and despite great reviews [clip of Chappell performing with...] and a spot opening for Olivia Rodrigo, she still wasn't more than an underground artist. [clip of Chappell's Lollapalooza performance] And then finally, this summer, she finally scored her first hit, which sent her entire back catalog into the charts, [back to "Pink Pony Club"] including the song where it all began four years earlier.

Chappell: I'm having wicked dreams of leaving Tennessee

Hear Santa Monica, I swear it's calling me

Todd (VO): All of that is to say that, oh my God, Chappell Roan is so fucking young in this video.

Chappell: I belong, down at the Pink Pony Club

Todd (VO): Like, even without the video, you can tell. Like, not since Avril Lavigne's "Sk8er Boi" have I been so acutely aware of the age of the person behind it.

Todd: A baby wrote this.

Todd (VO): I remember joking this year that I wasn't in theatre club in school, so I've only been pretending I know what "theatre kid energy" is. And then I heard this song for the first time, and I was like, "Wait, yes, I totally do know what it is."

Todd: Like, the whole "don't tell mama" fantasy...

Chappell: Won't make my mama proud, it's gonna cause a scene

Todd (VO): The fact that she imagines her scandalized mom calling her "pink pony girl"...

Chappell: "God, what have you done?"

"You're a pink pony girl"

Todd (VO): This mom going, [in an exaggerated falsetto] "You're a pink pony girl!" is just, like the funniest image. In real life, she just calls her a slut.

Chappell: And jaws are on the floor

Lovers in the bathroom and a line outside the door

Todd (VO): Like, this is clearly the work of a very young theatre kid who went to their first pride night or whatever, visited the big city for the first time, and they think that once they get out of Nowheresville, it's gonna be nothing but gay parties in the village for the rest of your life.

Chappell: I'm gonna keep on dancing down in West Hollywood

Todd (VO): It's funny that [clip of Chappell's VMA performance] the only song she released this year, four years later, she's already figured out that this whole "being gay in the city" thing is still pretty complicated and not all that fun. [back to "Pink Pony Club"] But something about its... innocence really hit me; like, the optimism. Like, this is essentially Chappell Roan's origin story. It may be a young, naive song, but it's, like, an immaculately made one. Chappell Roan seems already fully-formed as an artist. The Lady Gaga fangirl turned pop star in her own right. Like, she kills in this video. I think she might have a future as an actress, because she sells it: a scared little kid at the beginning, and a full-grown woman at the end. Like, this is a song where I feel stupid relating to it, 'cause... Pft.

Todd: I'm too old, I'm too straight, I'm definitely not hanging out in any gay clubs. Or clubs, for that matter.

Todd (VO): I do know a little something about moving out West...

Todd: ...seeking greener pastures, but...

Footage of a karaoke bar with drag queens performing

Todd (VO): ...my Pink Pony Club's a dinky little karaoke bar. It's a place where I sit quietly and drink. To be fair, they did start doing drag there once a week. You know, I don't really get it, but you know, I stick around for it, and I kinda became, like, bar buddies with the drag queens there.

Crowd: I'm gonna keep on dancing at the Pink Pony Club

Todd (VO): In fact, I mostly associate Chappell Roan with that place, because that's where I first realized she was really, really blowing up, when the normies started showing up and singing her more often than "What's Up" by 4 Non Blondes.

Clip of "Pink Pony Club"

Chappell: It's where I belong, down at the Pink Pony Club

Todd (VO): And, you know, I see all the gay people I know looking for whatever inspiration they can find; [interview footage of Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande promoting Wicked] you know, they're holding space for "Defying Gravity" or whatever. [back to "Pink Pony Club"] Uh, I'm holding space for this. Like, for a straight guy, I do have a weirdly large amount of gay friends, and...

Todd: ...as America takes a return trip to Clown World, I've had to have some real heavy conversations about how I might help any or all of them move somewhere safer should it comes to that.

Todd (VO): So I hear this song, in all its sweet optimism that she's gonna move to California and become a WeHo club dancer and everything's gonna be amazing forever... [exhales] No, this is... this is the song we need. This is why Chappell Roan is the pop star of the year.

Todd: [salutes] Keep dancing.

Chappell: I'm gonna keep on dancing

Sponsor

Todd: Uh yeah, one last thing I wanted to add here because of the state of the world. [sighs] Uh, I know we're all going through tough times right now, it's put a serious strain on all our mental healths. And we could all use some better help getting through it. And when I need better help for my personal struggles, I find nothing helps me better...

Logo for...

Todd (VO): ...than the fine content at Nebula. A truly wonderful little site where you can see...

Todd: ...all sorts of amazing content.

Clip from Trying to Make Sense of the X-Men Cinematic Universe Timeline

Todd (VO): For example, Lindsay Ellis has a whole video disentangling the timeline of the X-Men movies. [clip from The Wonder of It All] Or you can check out a podcast from one of my former subjects, Sean Nelson of Harvey Danger and his series, The Wonder of It All, where he interviews people about their one breakthrough success that changed their lives.

Todd: And again, you can find that only on Nebula.

Clip of Nebula ad

Todd (VO): A creator-specific platform where you can watch other great creators like Big Joel, F.D. Signifier, and myself. It is the most exciting independent platform around right now, and you can get a lifetime membership. For literally just $300, you will never have to pay a single cent ever again to subscribe.

Todd: For as long as both you and Nebula exist on this Earth, you're in.

Todd (VO): Or, if you wanna do just the regular monthly subscription, you can sign up with my link. Not only will you get access to the entire Nebula library, but you will get it for only 6 dollars a month. Or, if you sign up for the annual subscription, only 3 dollars a month.

Todd: And you'll also be helping me out specifically, which I would appreciate.

Todd (VO): So click the link in the description, and check it out below.

Todd: Thank you, and goodnight.

Closing Tag Song: Djo - "End of Beginning"

THE END

This video is owned by me

Please God bring back music videos this took forever to edit

THANK YOU TO THE LOYAL PATRONS!!