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The Top Ten Best Hit Songs of 2015
Date Aired
January 29, 2016
Running Time
13:10 (Part 1)
16:34 (Part 2)
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Introduction

Todd plays OMI - "Cheerleader"[1] on the piano.

TOP TEN BEST HIT SONGS OF 2015
A year-end review

Todd: Let's! Get! This! Over with!

[Clip of New China's near year countdown party]

Todd (VO): Oh it'll be great to get this burden off my shoulders. You've all started 2016 already, I'm still stuck in the previous year! These Top Tens are the bane of my existence! But I do it. I do it...

Todd: ...for you. And for the record, I think this list is much better than last year's. Like, I put...

Clip of Pharrell Williams...

Todd (VO): ..."Happy" on last year's list. You know that's, that's a fine enough song, but...if I never heard it again, I wouldn't exactly cry either. But this list...

Todd: ...this year, these are all songs I have fully adopted as a piece of my soul. These are songs I want to last and be remembered. [Beat] Yeah, 2015 was a good year. And here's why. We're counting down...

Clip from DJ Drybones's "Top Pop Songs Of 2015 Mashup (All About It), which serves as the interlude throughout the countdown.
Taylor Swift: So it's gonna be forever
Ed Sheeran: Take me into your loving arms

Todd(VO): The Top Ten Best Hit Songs of 2015!

Taylor: You can tell when it's over
We come back every time

#10

Todd (VO): #10.


Todd: You know, I used to be ashamed of some of my picks for the Best list. I like to think I've moved past that, but I am still a little embarrassed by this one 'cause, I'll be honest, I'm worried this might end the poor guy's career.

#10. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Eric Nally, Melle Mel, Kool Moe Dee, and Grandmaster Caz - "Downtown"[2]

Artists: I'm headed downtown!
Cruisin' through the alley

Todd (VO): I like Macklemore. He gets way, way too much shit. I hear all the time about how [clip of...] "Thrift Shop" is preachy and condescending and even racist.

Todd: It's a joke song about wearing...

Todd (VO): ...piss-smelling used clothes! I mean, God forbid hip-hop get the tiniest amount of criticisms for its most tedious, overused cliches.

Todd: Anyway, I wanted to get that defense out there 'cause...yeah, I worry that I might not get the chance again 'cause he might not be back.

Macklemore: I went to the moped store, said "fuck it."
Salesman's like "What up, what's your budget?"

Todd (VO): Yet his response to all the criticism seems to have been to make the silliest, weirdest, most intentionally lame song in history.

Macklemore: You don't need an Uber, you don't need a cab
Fuck a bus pass, you got a moped, man

Todd (VO): See, used clothes, you could make a case for that being cool, but riding a moped?

Artists: Downtown

Todd (VO): It's like Macklemore saying, "you think I'm corny? Screw you, you haven't seen anything yet!" It cannot be long before Macklemore writes a song about the glory of [pics of...] the mullet, or how badass it is to play D&D, and cook calorie-conscious meals for the family...

Todd: ...and have a YouTube show where you review pop songs.

Artists: Cut the bullshit
Get off my mullet

Todd (VO): Yeah, the first response I and many had was that Macklemore was just trying for a mashup of "Thrift Shop" with "Uptown Funk." But I don't think that really indicates how strange this song is. It's a weird mix of early '80s rap, '60s pop, and a falsetto metal singer that that I was fairly certain was a female.

Eric Nally: Downtown
Downtown

Todd (VO): Oh, God, his knees. Can't watch this video.

Todd: I'm partly of the mind that...

Todd (VO): ...this song is a complete disaster. Goddamn, does the Mack get corny at points.

Macklemore: There's layers to this shit player, Tiramisu, Tiramisu

Todd (VO): But goddammit, this song makes me smile whenever I hear it. It's an act of guts and anti-posturing that you just don't see from people.

Todd: If Beck released this song in the '90s, you'd all go crazy for that. This song is glorious.

Artists: Downtown

Interlude

#9

Todd (VO): #9.

Clip of Taylor Swift - "Love Story"
Taylor: We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes

Todd: Yeah, Taylor Swift was gonna make both lists this year.

Todd (VO): And I wanna point out here that, for all my criticisms of Taylor Swift, I always thought she was quite talented.

#9. Taylor Swift - "Wildest Dreams"[3]

#8

Todd (VO): #8.

#8. Elle King - "Ex's and Oh's"[4]

Interlude

#7

Todd (VO): #7.

#7. Big Sean ft. E-40 - "I Don't Fuck With You"[5]

Interlude

#6

Todd (VO): #6.

#6. The Weeknd - "Can't Feel My Face"[6]

Interlude

#5

Todd (VO): #5.

#5. Rihanna, Kanye West & Paul McCartney - "FourFiveSeconds"[7]

Interlude

#4

Todd (VO): #4.

#4. Major Lazer & DJ Snake ft. MØ - "Lean On"[8]

Interlude

#3

Todd (VO): #3.

#3. Walk the Moon - "Shut Up and Dance"[9]

Interlude

#2

Todd (VO): #2.

#2. Demi Lovato - "Cool for the Summer"[10]

Honorable mentions

Justin Bieber - "What Do You Mean?"[11]

Adele - "Hello"[12]

Carly Rae Jepsen - "Run Away with Me"[13]

Drake - "Back to Back"[14]

Pitbull & Ne-Yo - "Time of Our Lives"[15]

Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars - "Uptown Funk"[16]

Interlude

#1

Todd (VO): #1.

#1. Taylor Swift - "Style"[17]

Closing tag song: Skrillex & Diplo ft. Justin Bieber - "Where Are Ü Now"[18]

THE END
This video is owned by me
Year-end mashup by DJ Drybones

THANK YOU TO THE LOYAL PATRONS!

Footnotes

  1. #11 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  2. #84 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  3. #57 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  4. #73 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  5. #47 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  6. #12 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  7. #42 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  8. #16 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  9. #6 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  10. #53 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  11. #33 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  12. #35 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  13. Not on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  14. #99 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  15. #39 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  16. #1 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  17. #29 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
  18. #19 on Billboard Year-End Hot 100
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