The Top 11 Scariest Nostalgic Moments
April 12th, 2008
NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. You know, you can be too old for a lot of things, but you're never too old to be afraid. And our childhoods proved it! We had to put up with clowns and boogiemen and all sorts of ghosts and goblins when we were growin' up. So, being the month of Halloween, I've decided to take a look back at the Top 11 Scariest Nostalgic Moments of all time. Why Top 11? Because I like to go one step beyond. So get ready to cover your eyes and hide under the couch. THIS is the Top 11 Scariest Nostalgic Moments.
List begins with generic creepy music and an evil laugh in the background; then, footage of The Wicked Witch of the West
NC (voiceover): Number 11--The Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz. For many kids, The Wizard of Oz was the first movie they ever saw. So naturally, Wicked Witch was the first villain they ever came across. And MAN, did she freak us out. With her green skin, big nose and black attire, this wicked bitch of the North* made us all cry out, "There's no place like home!" If you can believe it, this actress ACTUALLY used to be a kindergarten teacher. Jesus Christ, imagine her greeting you on your first day of school.
Wicked Witch: Wanna play ball? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Interlude, then footage of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
NC (voiceover): Number 10--the tunnel scene from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. For the most part, Willy Wonka is just an innocent story about a boy who wins a Golden Ticket to a factory of wonder and imagination. But it suddenly goes FUCKING nuts when it enters the death tunnel from Hell.
Mrs. Teavee: I'm gonna be sick.
NC (voiceover): Every creepy image you can imagine pops up here: snakes, lizards, gestapo wannabes, even a scene of a chicken getting its head chopped off.
Mrs. Teavee: Aaaah! Now I AM gonna be sick!
NC (voiceover): On top of that, Wonka reads out loud a scary as fuck poem and then proceeds to scream at the top of his lungs.
NC: And THAT'S not even the strange part!
NC (voiceover): The strange part is that after this scene of misery, chaos, anarchy and death...they never talk about it again. They just go on their merry way like nothing ever happened.
NC: Man, if I was in that situation, even if we got up to the part with the giant geese, I'd be like, "Dude, what the fuck was up with that tunnel?" I always thought to myself, "This scene will make a lot more sense after I grow up." Well, I'm grown up now...AND IT STILL MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE! So what's the deal, Wonka?
Wonka: (singing) There's no Earthly way of knowing
NC: Wh-what-what are you talking about?
Wonka: (singing) Which direction we are going
NC: (stammering) What...
Wonka: Not a speck of light is showing, so the danger must be growing. Are the fires of Hell a-blowing? Is the grisly Reaper mowing? YES! The danger must be growing, for the rowers keep on rowing, and they're certainly not showing...ANY SIGNS THAT THEY ARE SLOWING...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Interlude, footage of Care Bears in Wonderland
NC (voiceover): Number 9--the Villain Song from Care Bears in Wonderland. Now I know what you're thinking: How can a Care Bears movie possibly be the least bit scary? Well, I'm glad you asked. There's an especially gay moment where the villain of the movie sings a ukulele song about Wonderland because, frankly, villains need more ukulele songs. The song itself is pretty lame, when all of the sudden, THIS happens.
Extremely brief clip of something
NC: Didja see it? Didja see it? Watch it again in slow motion.
Clip is slowed down, revealing the villain, transformed into something nonsensically hideous
NC (voiceover): Holy FUCK, what is that? It looks like something Charles Manson would shit out.
NC: And because the scene goes by so fast, it doesn't just scare us, it scares us on a subconscious level.
NC (voiceover): I always said if you watch Care Bears long enough, you'll see the face of the devil...but I didn't think you could actually freeze frame it.
Clip starts laughing maniacally
Interlude, then footage from The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
NC (voiceover): Number 8--The Headless Horseman from The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. This is the epitome of a Gothic cartoon. It has great atmosphere, creepy visuals and a dark storyline. But it's the Headless Horseman that everyone remembers, with his creepy laugh, flaming pumpkin, and, of course, the abscence of a certain facial feature. He gave us all the willies, but this scene in particular got us all creeped out.
Ichabod and the Horseman collide on horseback, and as they fly into the air they collide again, Ichabod getting a look down the neck hole of the Horseman's shirt; the Horseman simply laughs evilly
NC (voiceover): The Headless Horseman--he had every kid ducking for cover.
Interlude, footage from Beetlejuice
NC (voiceover): Number 7--the snake from Beetlejuice. Even though Beetlejuice was a comedy, it was filled with ghastly images that made kids jump joyfully out of their seats, the creepiest scene being when Beetlejuice transforms into a snake and starts tossing people around the room.
Beetlejuice: We've come for your daughter, Chuck.
NC (voiceover): It was big, dark, creepy, and made us all shit ourselves with fear. This snake had us all rattling under the covers.
Deliah scares Charles with a bust of Beetlejuice
Deliah: He likes it.
NC (voiceover): Number 6--Ghostbusters. Just...just Ghostbusters. Everything about these films had creepy written all over it. And when your job requires you to do nothing but hunt down ghosts and goblins that plague your town, chances are, you're gonna see some scary stuff. The two scariest scenes in particular are when Sigourney Weaver is transformed into a ghostly demon.
Shows a scene of a demonic hand holding Sigourney's chest
NC (voiceover): Am I the only one who feels like this hand is copping a feel? And the scene where her baby is taken away by a spiritual nanny, played by Peter McNichol. Peter McNichol is already pretty scary. Now imagine him in drag, trying to play a Mary Poppins pedophile from Hell, and you've got yourself a pretty nasty image. Whichever scenes scare you the most, the Ghostbuster movies definitely rate a 9.5 on the Scary Shit-o-meter.
Slimer flies at the screen, screaming
Interlude, footage from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
NC (voiceover): Number 5--The Child Catcher, from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Good GOD, was this guy creepy. When your parents said "stay away from strangers with candy," this was probably the person they were talking about.
Child Catcher: Lollipop!
NC (voiceover): He embodied everything that children imagined bad men looked like. In fact, to be honest, he's a little creepier now than he was back then. He looks like one of those guys you catch on MySpace trying to pick up 10-year-old boys.
Child Catcher: Come along, kiddie-winkies!
NC shivers in disgust
NC (voiceover): Whatever reason he creeps you out, he's one bad customer. And my guess is, he'll be ringing your doorbell reading a court-required notice sometime soon.
The Child Catcher swipes a net at some children
Interlude, footage from PeeWee's Big Adventure
NC (voiceover): Number 4--Large Marge from PeeWee's Big Adventure. This is a funny movie whether you're a kid or an adult. However, there's one scene that just comes out of nowhere. It involves a truck driver named Large Marge who starts telling a ghost story about the worst accident she's ever seen.
Large Marge: And when they finally pulled the driver's body from the twisted...burning...wreck...it looked like...THIS!
Marge's head transforms into something hideous, causing PeeWee to scream in fear
NC (voiceover): WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! She was just telling a story, all of a sudden, "blaaah!" I mean, it just comes out of nowhere and catches everybody off guard, even the adults. We find out later that the Large Marge that PeeWee was riding with was actually...
Patrons of a restaurant: Her ghost!
NC: Ohh. At least I don't have to see that sequence again-
Cut to Marge's hideous face again
NC: AAAAH! Can we cut to a less frightening part of the movie?
A seemingly less frightening part with a doctor
NC: Ah, that's better.
The doctor pulls his mask down, revealing a strange, freaky mouth
Interlude, footage from Who Framed Roger Rabbit
NC (voiceover): Number 3--Judge Doom, from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Everything about this movie kicks ass, and the villain is no exception. He's tall, he's dark, he's Christopher Lloyd--right on the money. The best scenes, though, come at the very end when he transforms into a half-man, half-toon psychopath. And you could count the bricks we shit after seeing this scene. If Stephen King did a biography on Mickey Mouse, my guess is he'd probably look something like this. Judge Doom: He's not bad, he's just drawn that way.
Judge Doom screams
Interlude, footage from Poltergeist
NC (voiceover): Number 2--The Clown from Poltergeist. This is back before the PG-13 rating existed, so lots of kids usually flooded to PG rated scary films like this one. And boy, did we regret it. This clown had all of us looking at our toys funny.
NC: I used to have a Ninja Turtle doll...that I shot!
NC: For the most part, the clown does nothing throughout the entire movie, but all the kids are watching it saying, "Yeah, I know you're up to somethin'. ...Oh, cut the crap, we both know you're alive!"
NC makes the "I'm watching you" motion with his fingers
NC (voiceover): We had to wait the whole entire movie for this thing to do something, and even though we waited an hour and a half for it, we still weren't ready!
The infamous clown scene plays
Interlude, then footage from Darby O'Gill and the Little People
NC: And the Number 1 Scariest Nostalgic Moment is--The Banshee, from Darby O'Gill and the Little People. With her ghostly image, hideous complexion, and terrifying howl, the Banshee was one of the scariest images that no kid should ever have to see. If you haven't seen this movie, you should. It's pretty good by Disney standards. It has great atmosphere, good characters, and it's the only film you'll EVER hear Sean Connery sing*. Seriously.
(Actually, Sean Connery DOES sing in another movie, but briefly, in the James Bond film, Dr. No)
Sean Connery: (singing) She's my dear, my darlin' one, my smilin' and beguilin' one...
NC (voiceover): And if that's not scary enough for you, the Banshee surely is. Now the effects in this movie range from ingenious to insufferable, and the Banshee is no exception. Most of the time, she moves very gracefully, but other times, she kinda moves like a go-kart. In fact, she's not even on screen for very long. The rest of the scene focuses on the Death Coach, which is pretty damn creepy, too. But it's the eerie presence of the Banshee that gets our blood boiling, even to this day.
NC: In fact, there's one scene at the end that still continues to scare the shit out of me, even to this day. In fact, I usually end up running out of the room screaming, I'm so terrified, I don't even get to finish the rest of the scene. But not today. Today, seeing how it's Halloween, I'm gonna stand up for myself, gonna confront my fears, and I am gonna watch this scene all...the way...through.
The scene begins
NC: There's that creepy howling outside... There he goes, about to open the door... Here it comes...
The door opens, and the Banshee is there, howling; cut back to NC's chair, spinning around, empty
*"North" is the direction attributed to her in the video; the mistake is on the part of the Nostalgia Critic, not the Wiki Team