The Thing From Another World #1
October 8, 2012
It's a rare occasion when "kill it with fire" is meant as a serious command.
(Open on the title for this series, parodying The Thing, suspenseful music and all, then cut to Linkara sitting on his futon as always)
Linkara: Hello, and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. This week and next week, we're going to take a look at the first attempt to follow up on the story of John Carpenter's The Thing.
(A shot of an issue of "Silent Hill: Dead/Alive" is shown)
Linkara (v/o): Now, there is a bit of a problem with this. Unlike the "Silent Hill" comics, which told their own stories...
(Footage of The Thing is shown, but with text covering over most of it reading: "This text here because ContentID is a pain in the ass.")
Linkara (v/o): ...these are a direct sequel to the movie. As a result, I'm gonna have to talk about the ending to the movie, and many of the plot details that occurred within it. As such, this is just my warning, people: there will be spoilers. It's probably best if you've seen The Thing to understand some of the points I'm coming from here, but also, you should see it just because it's a really good movie.
(New text appears: "Seriously, this video is just here for filler, anyway. Watch the movie.")
Linkara (v/o): I do find it kind of amusing, however, how opinions can really change years and years down the line. John Carpenter's The Thing was actually critically panned at the time of its release. It was too slow, too gory. Hell, the friggin' music was nominated for a Razzie Award, and that's especially mind-boggling when you consider the music was done by Ennio friggin' Morricone! You know, the guy behind the music of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly? And lots of other awesome films? I honestly don't get people sometimes. But anyway, yeah, these days, the movie gets the respect it deserves. Anyway, let's talk spoilers. As I stated last time, the plot of The Thing is that a shapeshifting alien creature arrives at an Antarctic outpost. It attempts to absorb all the people at the base, and we kind of play "Ten Little Indians". The crewmen do their best to fight it, but eventually, they're killed or taken over, one by one. There's immense paranoia amongst the group, because, as Childs pointed out...
Childs (Keith David): If I was an imitation, a perfect imitation, how would you know if it was really me?
(The comic adaptation is shown)
Linkara (v/o): As you saw in last week's comic, it was discovered that every part of the Thing was living, so by exposing a person's blood over a fire...
(More movie footage is shown)
Linkara (v/o): ...or a hot needle, in this case, you could discover if they were infected with the Thing or not. By the end, the men were forced to destroy the base, hopefully killing the Thing. The two remaining survivors were MacReady and Childs, but it was left ambiguous as to whether or not one, both or neither were infected. All they knew was that neither was in any shape to fight the other if they were. And that's where we're left off.
Linkara: And I must admit, after rereading these, they're not as bad as when I originally read them, but they're not exactly good, either, and I think I can tell you why. (holds up two fingers) Two words: tonal shift.
Linkara (v/o): The reason that the film worked was because there was this foreboding sense of paranoia where anyone could be infected and not be who they said they were. It draws you in and when the Thing is revealed, you know things are about to go intense.
(More text is displayed, covering much of the scene: "Anti-ContentID text again. Want to watch the video without this text? Go to my site. Sorry.")
Linkara (v/o): Every buildup is paid off. I think there's only one jump scare in the movie and even then, it's plot-driven. The problem with any sequel you're gonna have to this is how do you maintain that same kind of tone without everything just being a retread of the first movie? And really, this goes back to the very reason why it's set in the Antarctic. It's established in the movie that if the Thing ever manages to escape the snowy, lifeless area, Earth and every living thing on it is pretty much doomed. After all, it would just need to infect a fly or something, and it'd spread pretty damn quickly. Setting a sequel anywhere else just raises a whole bunch of problems, but that's something we'll talk about next time when we discuss about what was going to be the actual sequel from several years ago.
Linkara: In the meantime, however, let's (holds up today's comic) "The Thing From Another World #1".
(AT4W title theme plays, and the title card for this episode has "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder playing in the background. Cut to a closeup of the comic's cover)
Linkara (v/o): The reason the comic is going by the title of the 1951 film is pretty straightforward: Dark Horse was afraid it'd get confused with Marvel's ever-lovin', blue-eyed character from the Fantastic Four, so calling it "The Thing From Another World" links it to the film without changing much, although honestly, if you look at this cover, I doubt you would immediately think, "Huh, 'The Thing', eh? Well, clearly, this book is about the orange rocky guy who clobbers supervillains." On that note, this is actually a pretty damn good cover. While I'm never fond of blank backgrounds, this gets the idea of the creature pretty effectively: a combination of humanoid bits with something completely inhuman underneath it, plus tentacles. Very effective, very horrific. Kudos there.
(The comic opens to the first page)
Linkara (v/o): We begin with a text recap of the movie.
Narrator: 72 HOURS AGO...
Linkara (v/o): (stops abruptly) Eh... that's a little iffy. The website Outpost 31 actually did an overview of the timeline of the movie. Based on the times it goes dark, the glimpses of clocks, and dialogue spoken, it's actually more likely that the events of the movie took place over six days, not three.
Linkara: But hey, that's just nitpicking. It's not like they'll just radically change how the Thing operates in this text recap, right? (chuckles, then his expression turns sour) Yeah, let's talk about that. (sighs)
Narrator: 48 HOURS AGO: The organism – the Thing – began its assault on the men of Outpost #31. Able to infect new victims merely by touching them...
Linkara (v/o): Stop! Okay, the movie was actually very vague about how the Thing infected other creatures.
(Footage of the infected dog from the movie is shown)
Linkara (v/o): Chances are, though, it was probably related to liquid or fluid, based on what we see it do to the dogs. However, it's pretty damn obvious that it was not spread just through touch! You know why?
Linkara: Because if it was based on touch, it would never have to transform back into the Thing ever! It could go around the camp, poking people and going, (makes a poking motion) "Does this bug you? Does this bug you? Does this bug you?" And the invasion would be over.
Linkara (v/o): And don't tell me it had to touch them while it was in nonhuman or non-dog form. That's just stupid. When it's changed into a different form, it's still the Thing, it just looks like something else. We see more than once in the film that it can manipulate parts of the body without needing to fully transform into a blobby, gooey, Gestalt of animals.
(Cut back to the recap in the comic)
Narrator: ...the Thing turned the humans against one another and began constructing a craft capable of carrying it far from the frozen wastes of Antarctica to a warmer, and more populated, location.
(More movie footage is shown)
Linkara (v/o): Oh, yeah, I keep forgetting about this: when they lock Blair in the tool shed, he apparently breaks out and starts stealing helicopter parts in order to build a UFO. It was, again, rather unclear about whether Blair was doing this or the Thing, though I guess it makes more sense that the Thing was trying to construct an escape ship, although I'm with Spoony. The image of Wilford Brimley flying around in a UFO and invading a city is awesomely hilarious.
(Cut back again to the recap)
Narrator: 24 HOURS AGO: The Thing was ostensibly destroyed – at the cost of Outpost #31 and ten of its personnel. Exhausted from their ordeal and unsure as to whether one or the other of them might be infected by the Thing, the two survivors, MacReady and Childs, decided to wait... either for rescue, or for the sub-zero temperatures to kill them.
Linkara: "Rescue"? Um... no. No, not rescue.
(He snaps his fingers and we cut to a clip of the movie)
Childs: How will we make it?
MacReady (Kurt Russell): Maybe we shouldn't.
(Cut back to the comic)
Linkara (v/o): We open in, well, Antarctica.
Narrator: Antarctica. The ragged peaks of the Eternity Mountains lift their backs into emptiness cut only by wind.
Linkara: (as narrator) It is home to Evil Santa Claus, who conspires at his lair in the South Pole to steal toys from the children of the world.
Narrator: Struggle to remember a gentler place... a place where the wind could not kill you...
Linkara: What, are you kidding? I live in Minnesota; this is tanning whether.
Narrator: People will tell you the wind here will make you insane... that it'll strip from you those things which make you human. Hope... reason... and compassion.
Linkara: (waving dismissively) Oh, it's not the wind doing that, it's the invading Cybermen that are taking care of that.
Linkara (v/o): We see a figure drop another in the snow and then walk off. When we get a closer look, we realize that the figure left behind is in fact MacReady! Um, what? We can probably assume the guy who left him here was Childs, but why the hell would they try to walk off into the storm? Do I have to play that clip from the end of the movie again? There is absolutely no reason for them to do this, especially when they're completely exhausted from everything that happened. And there's no place they can go!
(Footage of the movie is shown again)
Linkara (v/o): The closest outpost to them was the Norwegian one that has been destroyed, and it's not exactly a sanctuary, and they were a thousand miles from the coast. Where the hell were they going? And yes, I know there aren't any real outposts that are that far inside Antarctica, but if this thing is going by real-world logic, the Thing could have easily infected one person and then make a break for the coast in dog form to infect a fish or something if it was that damn close! After all, it ran from the Norwegian outpost all the way to Outpost 31 while it was a dog, so if they were that close to water the whole time, then there shouldn't have been a problem! Or even go to one of the many other research outposts that are on the continent. After all, if they are really that close to water, there are plenty of other places it could have gone or the people of Outpost 31 could have tried to contact!
Linkara: This is one of the problems with trying to create a direct sequel with Childs or MacReady. It's pretty clear that they were doomed at the end. You'd have to really suspend your disbelief to assume that they had any hope of rescue.
Linkara (v/o): MacReady, getting up, spots a light in the sky and then... collapses, I guess, because the next page shows another figure holding him... and a boat up above shining a light down on him! Um, bullcrap! Forget about the coastline plot hole; a boat this size just happens to spot MacReady on the ice AT NIGHT?!? But... whatever, we will stretch it for the sake of the plot. MacReady is brought on board the ship and he's unconscious for a while, but wakes up at some unspecified time later. The doctor tells him he's on board a Japanese whaling vessel.
MacReady: How did I get here?
Doctor: Your friend...he brought you out onto the ice. He saved your life.
Linkara (v/o): Wait, how the hell do they know that? All we saw is MacReady left out in a big snowy plateau, and then Childs walked off, then MacReady got up for a little bit, then bright light, then a second guy, presumably from the whaling ship, next to his unconscious-again body. Did Childs go on board the ship and then go back again? What?! That doesn't make any sense, especially with the dialogue spoken.
MacReady: Childs?! Where is he?!
Doctor: You don't remember?
Linkara (v/o): Are there pages missing? Is that what's going on? The doctor says that Childs went back to the research station to "get the others", causing MacReady to scream that everybody there is dead and he needs to stop Childs. They sedate him when he tries to get out of bed and figure it's just shock from the extreme case of exposure. They restrain him to prevent him from harming himself until he's feeling better. Later, he awakens and tries to figure out a way to escape. He spots a nearby tray of medical instruments, including scalpels.
Linkara: (as MacReady) Hmm, there's a tray with scalpels on it over there. I've got it! I'll cut an artery and then my bloody wrists will easily slip out of the restraints!
Linkara (v/o): Nah, he of course just barely manages to reach it and pull a scalpel over, using it to cut his bonds... Wait, the tray was on his right side and we saw it was his right hand reaching for it and taking a scalpel. How the hell did his left arm get free first? And if it was free the whole time, why the hell did he just reach over with his left hand?!
(Cut to a clip of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 gang watching The She-Creature)
Mike: Space is warped and time is bendable!
(Back to the comic again)
Linkara (v/o): Now that he's freed, he decides to get dressed since they apparently left his clothes in the room, and he talks to himself.
MacReady: Think... I have to think.
Linkara: (as MacReady) And by "think", I mean "speak out loud".
MacReady: The research station was destroyed-- Childs brought me here... but why? If Childs was infected, why didn't he just leave me to die back at the research station... Why would he bring me out onto the ice?
Linkara: Well, let me put it this way, MacReady: You ever seen The Empire Strikes Back? He was gonna pull a Tauntaun with your body.
(Cut to Lewis dressed as Doctor Who, who holds an umbrella and raises his hat)
Doctor: Hello, I'm the Doctor, and we'll be right back!
(He walks off as the AT4W logo appears in the corner, and we go to a commercial. Upon return, there is the sound of laser gunfire and the Doctor runs back in, panicked)
Doctor: Oh, dear! (looks into camera) We're back.
(He runs off as the AT4W logo appears in the corner. Cut back to the comic as the video resumes)
Linkara (v/o): He [MacReady] considers the possibility that he's infected as well. Let's talk for a second about the people who are infected.
(Footage of the movie is shown, but once again with text obscuring it: "This particular bit of filler video got caught by ContentID. All the earlier ones were a 'just in case it gets picked up later' thing.")
Linkara (v/o): Many people have suggested that the Thing, or shapeshifters in general, would let the original personality be dominant for the majority of time so as not to make people suspect them or even make good suggestions to throw people off the trail. The problem is, as we saw last week, that's a bad idea.
(Cut to the "Starstream" comic, but with the ContentID comment still obscuring the screen)
Linkara (v/o): Garry in the "Starstream" adaptation was the first to volunteer for the blood test and was immediately found out. The problem in dealing with possessing thinking creatures like that is, well, they think! It's better to stay in the background, not draw attention to yourself, and especially not give your enemies good ideas! Letting the human do the walking and the talking is too risky.
(Cut back to the movie, still with the dialogue covering it over)
Linkara (v/o): It was also suggested and pointed out in the making of the film on the DVD...
(Linkara is seen holding up the DVD for The Thing, but still with the dialogue obscuring him)
Linkara: ...which I highly recommend because it is awesome...
Linkara (v/o): ...that there was a lot of discussion amongst the cast whether they knew they were infected with the Thing or not.
(New text appears: "But seriously, this episode is a few years old now. Want to watch it without this crap? Website link in the description.")
Linkara (v/o): They pretty much agreed that no one actively knew and only subconsciously suspected. My own personal preference, however, is that they do know and the Thing is in the driver's seat. After all, we see several times that the Thing does act in preservation of its own life, like tainting the blood supply so they can't do a serum test or when the Blair Thing at the end attacks Garry, or hell, even just the dog in its attempts to actively assimilate the other dogs. But hey, I admit, that's my own interpretation, and for some stuff like this, we don't have any solid rules. It's simply how I viewed the story. And there is another if you read the short story, "The Things," which I'll talk about next time.
(Cut back to the comic)
Linkara (v/o): Realizing that he needs to test himself to see if he's infected, MacReady cuts his finger and puts quite a lot of blood, actually, into a conveniently-placed Petri dish. He takes a wire from the medical equipment and... I guess magics himself up something to heat it up and puts the hot wire into the blood. It singes and doesn't change, proving he's not infected. MacReady sneaks out to try to find a way off the boat. Now, one could wonder why he doesn't tell anybody about what happened, but let's be honest: how likely is it going to be that they believe him? I mean, yeah, the Japanese do deal with tentacle monsters all the time, but not like this. Aaaaand just by sheer luck and coincidence, the whaling boat has a helicopter on it. MacReady's luck should be a trope. How many times has the dude survived near-death, not been infected, not had any helicopter problems from the numerous snowstorms he's been in, gotten rescued several times, and is almost always right in his conclusions? And now, he's found another helicopter. I guess someone left the keys in it, too, since he manages to take off and fly away. He spots Childs' tracks in the snow and follows them, seeing they were headed east. He wants to go after them further, but it seems his luck has run out. The helicopter was low on fuel when he stole it. While he's unable to make it to another station, he does crash the helicopter right outside Outpost 31. What a coinkydink! He grabs some thermite torches and explores the remains of the outpost, finding the dead body of Nauls, one of the remaining characters from the movie who was killed off-screen.
MacReady: Nauls... You weren't infected when I left you...
Linkara: (as MacReady) Now you're one of the skulls in Longbox of the Damned.
Linkara (v/o): MacReady finds two more bodies, which I think are Dr. Copper and Clark. It's not entirely clear. He pours kerosene on them – from a barrel; he's got a lot of physical strength for someone who has only recently recovered from frostbite and exposure – and lights 'em up with the flamethrower.
MacReady: Doc Fuchs said there's still cellular activity in these bodies even after they've been frozen. One cell of living material is enough to infect an organism... I have to find them and burn them all. There can't be anything left.
Linkara: (as MacReady) Geez, for someone who doesn't have another lifeform inside of him, I talk to myself a lot.
Linkara (v/o): He then goes further into the ruins and discovers the remains of the larger creature he encountered at the end of the movie.
MacReady: Hello, you son of a bitch. Go to sleep on me? Frozen isn't dead with you, is it?
Linkara: (as MacReady) God, you're like that taco meat that's been in the freezer for three years that we never talk about!
Linkara (v/o): After kicking over another barrel of kerosene, he tosses a grenade. John Carpenter's The Thing: light and get away! After blowing that the hell up, he runs across the frozen remains of another Thing creature, but unfortunately, his flamethrower has run out of fuel. He takes some gasoline this time and pours it on, lighting up a flare. But then we see... a sniper?! What in the name of... Somehow, MacReady spots the sniper and they shoot the flare out of his hand. Oh, dear Lord, please don't tell me we're going into the video game territory, where the military wants to turn the Thing into a weapon? Because that would just be so damn stupid that I'd have to quit right here! They search him and say they're a SEAL Team. A helicopter out of McMurdo had reported that the camp was on fire and they were sent to investigate why. So they sent four guys in with assault rifles and sniper guns?! What?!? What if it was just that a fire had gotten out of control or something? Were they gonna shoot the fire to put it out?! MacReady explains that he was the helicopter pilot and talks about what happened with the Thing, even telling them to check out the Norwegian camp, but all they're interested in are the dead bodies, and MacReady confirms that he was the one who killed them. Of course, MacReady was just right next to a clearly alien body, but somehow, it takes them, like, five minutes to notice the damn thing! Look, I understand your first inclination isn't to believe him, but when you see something like that, I think you might want to consider it's possible he's telling the truth, especially when he's otherwise calm until you try to touch it! They cuff him and then knock him out, calling him crazy.
SEAL Team member 1: Jesus, what is that thing?
SEAL Team member 2: I don't know. Whatever it is, the bio-team will figure it out. If he gets frisky again, Masher, shoot him.
SEAL Team member 1: Love to, sir.
Linkara: (sarcastically) Well, thank you for perpetuating the stereotype of military officers being trigger-happy dumbasses! We wouldn't want to try to have characters who are halfway intelligent and therefore want to see them come out alive, would we?
SEAL Team member: Now comes Miller Time.
("Miller Time" title is shown, but suddenly, Linkara pushes it out of the way)
Linkara: No! No, no, no! I cannot take Frank Miller on top of everything else! He would just turn the Thing into a woman who bites a guy's penis off while they're having sex or something, while it narrates the same three lines of dialogue over and over!
Linkara (v/o): So the SEAL Team calls in a helicopter and it comes in to pick them up... but it's time for complete illogic from the creature to strike again.
SEAL Team member 1: What in the hell?!
SEAL Team member 2: Christ! Look at Pybus!
Linkara (v/o): Huh? What about him? He has a scarf on that's covering his mouth and the scarves are billowing in the air. Wait, is... is he supposed to be infected?! Why would the Thing reveal itself?! What POSSIBLE reason does it have TO REVEAL ITSELF?! And by the way, if that's not his scarf, but an inhuman mouth, DON'T SHOW US A PANEL BEFORE THIS OF A SCARF COVERING A GUY'S MOUTH!! It actually took me quite a while to figure out what the hell was going on with this page because of that scarf thing from the previous one! It's colored so dark in this panel that it looked like it was just the guy wearing a scarf, not that he was transforming! And again, why would the Thing reveal itself?! IT'S ABOUT TO GET AWAY SCOT-FREE!! No one believes MacReady, and it has plenty of time to infect the others! Hell, at what point, did the Thing infect this guy?! Clearly, no one has been at Outpost 31 for a while, so the remains of the Thing must have frozen over all across the place! And if it was supposed to be that guy who reached down and touched it, HE WAS WEARING A GLOVE!! Even if we bought this idiotic idea that the Thing spreads just through touch...
(Cut to a clip of The Thing)
Linkara (v/o): ...one of the key elements of the Thing's transformation that they hammered across in the movie is that the Thing rips through your clothes when it transforms, so clearly, it's NOT INFECTING A GLOVE!
(Back to the comic again)
Linkara (v/o): And on top of all of that, it needs to transform all the cells in his body. It's been, like, FIVE FRIGGIN' MINUTES!
(Cut to another clip of The Thing)
Linkara (v/o): And don't tell me that people can transform faster or some crap like that, saying, "That's what happened with windows." Clearly, the Thing had prolonged contact with his body and it didn't just brush up against him or something!
(Cut back to the comic)
Linkara (v/o): Anyway, I guess the Thing, now found out because of its own bottomless stupidity, opens fire on the others and even opens fire on the helicopter. It has now trashed its own escape route! Even if it was just found out, why wouldn't it just shoot at the other guys so it could just take the helicopter away?! The remaining SEAL Team members fire on it, but are all quickly killed, save for one. MacReady somehow gets a grenade or something and launches it at the Thing, which has become this bug... creature, blowing it up. It seems that the Navy SEAL guy has wised up and listens to MacReady... for about five seconds, as we'll see. They discuss their options. They have wounded people; the radio in the helicopter is fried, as is their Satcom. The helicopter back at Outpost 31 is trashed, and the gas for the snow tractor, which were disabled anyway, according to the movie, was used in burning the bodies.
Navy SEAL Team member: If we don't get shelter or transport, we'll die here.
(Cut to a clip of Star Trek III: The Search for Spock)
Kruge (Christopher Lloyd): Perfect! Then that's the way it shall be!
(Back to the comic again)
Linkara (v/o): Actually, that's not too far off. MacReady is fine with the team dying out here, as long as they burn the bodies to prevent the Thing from spreading. The SEAL officer, Erskine, says he's going to get the wounded men to an Argentine outpost that's thirty klicks away, pointing his gun at MacReady and demanding he help carry the wounded. He fires a warning shot when MacReady refuses.
Erskine: My orders were to evacuate survivors from the camp-- and that's what I'm gonna do.
Linkara: (as Erskine, holding up a machine gun) I'm a character in the military in a work of fiction. I only care about following orders and shooting things! God, I have so many nuances!
MacReady: You wouldn't shoot me, Erskine.
Erskine: Not now-- I need you.
Linkara: (confused) Then why did you fire a warning shot at his foot a second ago? And why would you tell MacReady that you weren't going to shoot him?! AND WHY DOES MACREADY GO ALONG WITH THIS THEN?!?
Linkara (v/o): These three events completely contradict one another! Ugh! They make litters for the wounded and drag them across the snow, and as time passes, MacReady eventually says they need to leave the one he's carrying behind since he's dead. MacReady marks the spot with a flag so someone can come back and burn the body later.
Erskine: You're really going all the way with this alien stuff, aren't you?
(Linkara stares, scarcely able to believe what he just read. Then cut to a clip of Alien: Resurrection)
Johner (Ron Perlman): Haven't you been payin' attention today?
(Cut back to the comic)
Linkara (v/o): (stammers) You just... You were... WHAT?!? Ugh! Okay, they start out again, with Erskine hoping he picked the correct path to the Argentine camp and MacReady refusing to help go in the right direction. As the hours continue on, dawn eventually breaks and still no camp in sight. MacReady says they were heading in the right direction, but went on the wrong path. Erskine does not take it well, attacking MacReady in a brawl that ends with MacReady getting a hold of the gun.
MacReady: This is beginning to make sense to me now. You said that thing could sleep in the ice... Maybe that's why you want us to freeze out here. So you can go to sleep and wait for the rescue party.
Linkara: (sarcastically) Oh, so now you believe the alien stuff, do ya? (shakes head) Don't you just love it when a story can't even stay consistent within itself for a few pages?!
Linkara (v/o): Erskine goes for a knife and MacReady threatens to shoot him, but our comic ends with a snow tractor coming right the hell out of nowhere, revealing two men speaking Spanish and our long-lost pal, Childs.
Linkara: Well, thank God the MacReady luck has hit again as the Argentinians and Childs apparently (becomes angry) just happened to come across these two! (closes comic and holds it up) This comic sucks!
Linkara (v/o): I'll give it this: Aside from some sequential hiccups, the artwork is actually pretty good, especially in depicting the Antarctic setting. The problems are in the writing, from falling back on tired tropes of the overly-aggressive military to MacReady being the luckiest man on Earth and to the inconsistencies of how the Thing is supposed to operate. As I said at the start, the main problem here is a tonal shift. This has really stepped away from a claustrophobic piece about paranoia and mistrust and has instead shifted into more action horror. And some franchises can do that and get away with it. Alien and Aliens, for example. Here, it just feels wrong.
Linkara: But hey, it's not entirely without merit. Let's see how they botch it up next time in Issue 2.
TO BE CONTINUED
(End credits roll)
Considering we spend most of the comic with Macready [sic] just talking out loud to himself, I prefer to think of this less as "The Thing" and more Kurt Russell's One Man Show.
I also imagine that it takes some time after initial infection in order for one's mind to be taken over, much like how it'll take time to completely infect the entire body.
Nimue: Warning! An unauthorized entity has entered the area. Attempting to seal within containments–
(Suddenly, however, Nimue is cut off by an explosion and a shower of sparks. Her red light goes dark)
Linkara: (worried) Nimue? Nimue, report!
(Harvey Finevoice enters the room when he hears a strange humming sound and notices the room dimming briefly)
Harvey: Kid, what's going on?!
Linkara: (holding up magic gun) I don't know. Nimue just said there was an intruder.
Harvey: What?! I'll get my gun! (runs off)
Linkara: Nimue, what's your status? (there is no answer)
Dr. Linksano: If Nimue is disabled, that means the main computer is offline as well!
Linkara: Computer, switch to secondary command processors! (nothing happens) Computer!
Harvey: (holding up his machine gun) It sounds like we're cut off, kid.
Linkara: Then let's get the hell out of here. I'm not risking a confrontation when the emergency procedures aren't in place.
(90s Kid, who was standing by the door this whole time, turns around to open the door. But it doesn't seem to be budging, worrying 90s Kid)
90s Kid: Uh, dudes? There may be a problem!
Harvey: Please do not tell me you're pushing it.
90s Kid: Dude, the door won't open! (vainly tries to open it again) And it is unlocked!
Linkara: Everybody, stand back!
(90s Kid gets out of the way as Linkara aims his magic gun at the door and fires a blast at it. But it has no effect)
Linkara: (realizing) Oh, crap! The protection spell! I forgot! I can't do any damage to this place, either!
Harvey: Don't worry, we'll get an axe or something and we'll bust it down!
Linkara: Won't work. The enchantment protects it from physical harm as well. (then he snaps his fingers as he gets an idea) Linksano! The communicator you made! You said if you hit the button three times, it'll send an emergency signal to Comicron 1 to beam us up.
Dr. Linksano: Unfortunately, after you returned, I brought the communicator up to the ship to try to find out why we lost contact with you. It's not here.
Harvey: Well, no problem. You can use one of your other communicators, the ones you used your voodoo on, like the Star Trek one or the Power Rangers one.
Linkara: Those won't be any good, either, unfortunately. The main computer is tied into them as a relay point. Without the computer, well, the signal won't be strong enough to reach orbit.
90s Kid: (apprehensively) Dude, let me see if I get this straight: we're stuck in your apartment, we have no way of booking out of here, no way of contacting the outside world and getting some backup, and there's some... thing in here with us.
Linkara: Yeah. That about sums it up.
(Everyone is horrified at this realization)
Linkara: (cocking his magic gun) Arm yourselves.