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(We start off with the usual opening for the Nostalgia Critic, then come to him entering the room with Malcolm Ray and Tamara Chambers)

NC: I told you, I just reviewed a Fantastic Four movie. I'm not doing another one.

Tamara: But it was so bad!

NC: I don't care!

Malcolm: They couldn't even spell it right! Fant4stic.

NC: I don't care!

Tamara: It got half a percent on RottenTomatoes.

NC: How the hell do you do that?

Malcolm: It found a way.

(NC opens up the closet and discovers the Black Nerd inside wearing a Raphael mask and wielding sais)

BN: Cowabunga!

NC: Ahh!

Tamara: Black Nerd?

Malcolm: Yes?

Tamara: No, that one.

Malcolm: Oh.

NC: What are you doing in the storage closet?

BN: I'm here to do the Ninja Turtle movie review with you and Angry Video Game Nerd. Remember?

(NC flashes back to how that happened. The scene takes place with a blue filter, and with NC on the phone)

NC: I don't care if the Nerd is a bigger star, my face should be the bigger on the title card! (The doorbell rings) Come on, who's a bigger Ninja Turtle fan than me? (At the door is Black Nerd)

BN: Hey Critic. Heard you need a Ninja Turtles crossover with the Nerd.

NC: Yeah, sure, come on in. (He lets BN in) I don't care if I don't know anything about that one show. Or that one. Or that one! (He opens the closet door and leads BN in) Really, they made another one? I totally didn't know that. But nevertheless, I am the biggest fan, (He locks BN in the closet) and I deserve to be bigger on the title card. Everything about me is bigger than him! Including that! Don't ask how I know that!

(And we come back to the present)

Tamara: Wait, you've been in the storage closet that entire time?

BN: Eh, it's not so bad. I still made videos.

(The scene now takes place in night vision as he does his show in the closet)

BN: Hi, I'm Andre and I'm a black nerd. Today I'm gonna be reviewing boxes again. Yay boxes. Which do you think is better? Cardboard or plastic? They both keep you alive if you ever need to eat them. Like I do. (He bites into a cardboard box) I'm so cold.

(We come back to the present and in NC's place is Peter Griffin from Family Guy)

Peter: You think that's bad, how about the time--

(NC pushes him off screen)

NC: Enough of the cutaways!

BN: So are you finally ready to do the review?

Malcolm: Uh, we reviewed that a few months ago, didn't we?

NC: Yes, but seeing how I could be facing some serious criminal charges for this, let's go ahead and do the crossover anyway. It can be any movie you want.

BN: Smurfs!

NC: Any movie you want!

BN: Smurfs!

NC: Any movie you want!

BN: Smurfs!

NC: I'm sensing an Earth Girls Are Easy vibe from you.

BN: Smurfs!

Tamara: Fantastic 4 (2015)!

(NC knocks her out with a backhanded fist)

BN: Smurfs!

NC: Troll 2 it is. A little cliche, but I still think we get some good material out of it.

BN: (on the phone) Hello, police! Nostalgia Critic kidnapped another black guy again!

Malcolm: It's true!

(NC knocks Malcolm out and takes BN's phone)

NC: Let's do fucking Smurfs.

BN: Yay!

(As they leave, Tamara and Malcolm get up)

Malcolm: Man, (Steve) Urkel did not age well.

BN: I heard that, Theo (Huxtable)!

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