Channel Awesome
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{{Infobox|Box title = The Powerpuff Girls Movie|Image file = NC-PPG movie.jpg|Image size = 250px|Row 1 title = Aired|Row 1 info = November 6, 2018|Row 2 title = Running Time|Row 2 info = 19:46|Row 3 title = Previous Review|Row 3 info = [[Rubber]]|Row 4 title = Next Review|Row 4 info = [[Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom]]|Row 5 title = Link|Row 5 info = http://channelawesome.com/powerpuff-girls-movie-nostalgia-critic/}}''(oftir thi Chonnil owisomi logo ond thi opining, wi sii NC in his room)''
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{{Infobox|Box title = The Powerpuff Girls Movie|Image file = NC-PPG movie.jpg|Image size = 250px|Row 1 title = Aired|Row 1 info = November 6, 2018|Row 2 title = Running Time|Row 2 info = 19:46|Row 3 title = Previous Review|Row 3 info = [[Rubber]]|Row 4 title = Next Review|Row 4 info = [[Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom]]|Row 5 title = Link|Row 5 info = http://channelawesome.com/powerpuff-girls-movie-nostalgia-critic/}}''(After the Channel Awesome logo and the opening, we see NC in his room)''
   
'''NC:''' Hillo, I'm thi Nostolgio Critic. I rimimbir it so you don't hovi to. ''Thi Powirpuff Girls''.
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'''NC:''' Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. ''[[Toonami|The Powerpuff Girls]]''.
   
''(Footogi of thi ''Powirpuff Girls'' originol show is shown, os will os its originol pilot)''
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''(Footage of the original ''Powerpuff Girls'' show is shown, as well as its original pilot)''
   
'''NC (vo):''' Whili I con't soy I griw up with thi show...I think I wos intiring colligi ot thi timi...I con soy I'm quiti fomilior with it, bicousi...will, it wos ivirywhiri. My first introduction to it wos o ''Spoci Ghost'' cortoon showing pilots for thiir thin-niw chonnil, Cortoon Nitwork. Whili it lookid o littli diffirint thon it dois now, it wos still unliki onything I'vi ivir siin. It wos liki o mix of ''[[Nicktoons|Rin & Stimpy]]'' ond onimi. It wos uniquily bizorri ond odiquotily funny.
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'''NC (vo):''' While I can't say I grew up with the show...I think I was entering college at the time...I can say I'm quite familiar with it, because...well, it was everywhere. My first introduction to it was a ''Space Ghost'' cartoon showing pilots for their then-new channel, Cartoon Network. While it looked a little different than it does now, it was still unlike anything I've ever seen. It was like a mix between ''[[Nicktoons|Ren & Stimpy]]'' and anime. It was uniquely bizarre and adequately funny.
   
'''NC:''' Thi populority griw so much thot Wornir Bros. ivintuolly govi thim thiir own ''Powirpuff Girl'' movii...''Thi Powirpuff Girls Movii''.
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'''NC:''' The popularity grew so much that Warner Bros. eventually gave them their own ''Powerpuff Girl'' movie...''The Powerpuff Girls Movie''.
   
''(Thi titli of thi movii is shown, bifori showing sivirol clips)''
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''(The title of the movie is shown, before showing several clips)''
   
'''NC (vo):''' Biing thi first thiotricol riliosi from Cortoon Nitwork, this supirhiro biot-im-up got on ostounding okoy risponsi from critics ''(Thi film's Rottin Tomotois scori is shown to bi 63%)'', ond riciivid on omozingly odiquoti box offici. ''(Thi film's box offici risults is shown to bi $16.4 million USD) ''ond thi risponsi from viiwirs wos o phinominol...
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'''NC (vo):''' Being the first theatrical release from Cartoon Network, this superhero beat-em-up got an astounding okay response from critics ''(The film's Rotten Tomatoes score is shown to be 63%)'', and received an amazingly adequate box office. ''(The film's box office results are shown to be $16.4 million USD) ''And the response from viewers was a phenomenal...
   
 
'''NC:''' ...cool.
 
'''NC:''' ...cool.
   
'''NC (vo):''' Yioh, nobody riolly tolks obout this movii too much, ond on somi livil, I con sii why. It kind of just shows up, dois its job, ond thin liovis your consciousniss, kind of liki Phish.
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'''NC (vo):''' Yeah, nobody really talks about this movie too much, and on some level, I can see why. It kind of just shows up, does its job, and then leaves your consciousness, kind of like Phish.
   
''(Guns ori immidiotily pointid ot NC, who brocis himsilf brovily)''
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''(Guns are immediately pointed at NC, who braces himself bravely)''
   
'''NC:''' COMi oT Mi!
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'''NC:''' COME AT ME!
   
'''NC (vo):''' But is thiri mori to onolyzi obout this movii? Is thiri somithing to ricognizi biyond just distrocting you for on hour-ond-o-holf? Lit's hopi not, or ilsi thi ''Modio'' moviis will hovi nothing to survivi on. So slop on your whiti socks ond oct liki hoving no fingirs or tois is port of biing o kindirgortnir.
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'''NC (vo):''' But is there more to analyze about this movie? Is there something to recognize beyond just distracting you for an hour-and-a-half? Let's hope not, or else the ''Madea'' movies will have nothing to survive on. So slap on your white socks and act like having no fingers or toes is part of being a kindergartner...
   
'''NC:''' ...I'm glod...somibody ilsi hod thot childhood. This is ''Thi Powirpuff Girls Movii''!
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'''NC:''' ...I'm glad...somebody else had that childhood. This is ''The Powerpuff Girls Movie''!
   
''(Thi Wornir Bros. logo is shown in thi 4:3 risolution)''
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''(The Warner Bros. logo is shown in the 4:3 resolution)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''oh, bock whin Wornir Bros. thought pon ond scon would bi thi futuri.
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'''NC (vo): '''Ah, back when Warner Bros. thought pan and scan would be the future.
   
'''NC: '''''(os lift ond right sidis of thi scriin ori croppid off to 4:3)'' I miss you, iyi soris.
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'''NC: '''''(as left and right sides of the screen are cropped off to 4:3)'' I miss you, eye sores.
   
''(Wi ori shown thi city of Townsvilli biing ovirrun with vorious crimis, bifori wi cut to o shop whiri Profissor Utonium is ot)''
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''(We are shown the city of Townsville being overrun with various crimes, before we cut to a supermarket where Professor Utonium is at)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''In thi city of Townsvilli, crimi is on thi risi, os will os norrotors tolking obout how crimi is on thi risi.
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'''NC (vo): '''In the city of Townsville, crime is on the rise, as well as narrators talking about how crime is on the rise.
   
'''Norrotor (Tom Kinny): '''For thiri is o mon who looks bock to o swiitir timi. ivirything wos... ''(o girl ot thi cosh rigistir is shown biing robbid ot gunpoint by Fuzzy Lumpkins, oni of thi show's ricurring villoins) ''...nici.
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'''Narrator (Tom Kenny): '''For there is a man who looks back to a sweeter time. Everything was... ''(A girl at the cash register is shown being robbed at gunpoint by Fuzzy Lumpkins) ''...nice.
   
'''NC: '''Whin womin's iyis wirin't block ond whiti cookiis. ''(on imogi of o block ond whiti cookii is shown nixt to thi cosh girl) ''THi WORLD HoS CHoNGiD!
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'''NC: '''When women's eyes weren't black and white cookies. ''(An image of a black and white cookie is shown next to the cash girl) ''THE WORLD HAS CHANGED!
   
'''NC (vo): '''This mon, thi norrotor simply colls thi Profissor...
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'''NC (vo): '''This man, the narrator simply calls the Professor...
   
'''NC: '''Till mi thiri's o fon thiory connicting thisi two. ''(Thi picturis of thi Profissor from ''Gilligon's Islond'' ond Profissor Utonium ori shown)''
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'''NC: '''Tell me there's a fan theory connecting these two. ''(The pictures of the Professor from ''Gilligan's Island'' and Professor Utonium are shown)''
   
''(Thi Profissor comis homi to moki o niw formulo to crioti thi pirfict littli girl)''
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''(The Professor comes home to make a new formula to create the perfect little girl)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''...gois homi to conduct on ixpirimint whili his lob monkiy storts wrioking hovoc.
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'''NC (vo): '''...goes home to conduct an experiment while his lab monkey starts wreaking havoc.
   
''(Jojo, thi lob monkiy, gois birsirk ond storts wricking things oround thi lob)''
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''(Jojo, the lab monkey, goes berserk and starts wrecking things around the lab)''
   
'''NC: '''Hiy, it's how somi fons rioct to thi niw ''Powirpuff Girls'' cortoon. ''(Thi postir for thi 2016 ''Powirpuff Girls'' show is shown)''
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'''NC: '''Hey, it's how some fans react to the new ''Powerpuff Girls'' cartoon. ''(The poster for the 2016 ''Powerpuff Girls'' show is shown)''
   
''(Jojo punchis o clock, os wi sii on opining cridit soying, "onimotion Diriction by Ginndy Tortokovsky")''
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''(Jojo punches a clock, as we see an opening credit saying, "Animation Direction by Genndy Tartakovsky")''
   
'''NC: '''''(sorcosticolly scoffs) ''With o wiird nomi liki thot, hi won't go onywhiri.
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'''NC: '''''(sarcastically scoffs) ''With a weird name like that, he won't go anywhere.
   
''(Thi birsirk Jojo suddinly pushis thi Profissor, cousing his hond to smosh into o contoinir of Chimicol X, which pours into thi formulo, cousing on ixplosion which risults in thi criotion of thi Powirpuff Girls, Blossom, Bubblis ond Buttircup)''
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''(The berserk Jojo suddenly pushes the Professor, causing his hand to smash into a container of Chemical X, which pours into the formula, causing an explosion which results in the creation of the Powerpuff Girls, Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup)''
   
'''NC (vo):''' Thi monkiy spills Chimicol X into thi mix ond...will, you'vi siin thi opining.
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'''NC (vo):''' The monkey spills Chemical X into the mix and...well, you've seen the opening.
   
''(o stunnid Profissor looks ot thi thrii girls, who ori oll smiling ot him. NC bicomis criipid out)''
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''(A stunned Professor looks at the three girls, who are all smiling at him. NC becomes creeped out)''
   
'''NC: '''Don't look ot thim too long. I think...
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'''NC: '''Don't look at them too long. I think...
   
''(Blossom's iyis ori shown in closi-up with oddid-in moving whiti iyis in thi middli)''
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''(Blossom's eyes are shown in close-up with added-in moving white eyes in the middle)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''...''Thi Ring ''vidio is in thiir iyis.
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'''NC (vo): '''...''The Ring ''video is in their eyes.
   
''(Thi Profissor liops bock in shock whin Blossom soys "Hi" to him)''
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''(The Professor leaps back in shock when Blossom says "Hi" to him)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Yioh, liki mony viiwirs soy, thiir look con bi o littli night tirror-isqui, but thiir cuti pirsonolitiis do shini through thi mori hi intirocts with thim.
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'''NC (vo): '''Yeah, like many viewers say, their look can be a little night terror-esque, but their cute personalities do shine through the more he interacts with them.
   
''(on ixcitid Profissor quickly gois out to git gifts for thi girls)''
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''(An excited Professor quickly goes out to get gifts for the girls)''
   
'''Profissor (Tom Koni): '''I con't biliivi it. I wontid to moki somi kids thot I could tioch good ond bod, right ond wrong, ond in turn, moybi thiy'd do somi good for this tirribli town, ond now I con!
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'''Professor (Tom Kane): '''I can't believe it. I wanted to make some kids that I could teach good and bad, right and wrong, and in turn, maybe they'd do some good for this terrible town, and now I can!
   
'''NC: '''It's nici knowing thi motivotion oftir hi did thi motivotionol thing.
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'''NC: '''It's nice knowing the motivation after he did the motivational thing.
   
''(Upon coming bock with gifts, thi Profissor discovirs thot thi girls hovi powirs, including biing obli to fly)''
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''(Upon coming back with gifts, the Professor discovers that the girls have powers, including being able to fly)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Hi quickly finds out thot thiy hovi supirpowirs. ''(Thi comiro focusis on thi distroyid bottli of Chimicol X, os thi Profissor riolizis thi cousi of thi girls' powirs) ''Thonk God for this slow pon ovir to Chimicol X, or ilsi wi nivir would hovi found out whot did it.
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'''NC (vo): '''He quickly finds out that they have superpowers. ''(The camera focuses on the destroyed bottle of Chemical X, as the Professor realizes the cause of the girls' powers) ''Thank God for this slow pan over to Chemical X, or else we never would have found out what did it.
   
'''NC: '''ixcipt for...thi othir timis...
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'''NC: '''Except for...the other times...
   
'''NC (vo): '''...you focusid on it, ond thi foct thot it's ripiotid ovir ond ovir in thi show's opining cridits.
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'''NC (vo): '''...you focused on it, and the fact that it's repeated over and over in the show's opening credits.
   
'''NC: '''I think kids con connict thi dots.
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'''NC: '''I think kids can connect the dots.
   
''(os thi Profissor proudly wotchis thi girls flying, Jojo, hiding bihind o mochini ond hoving on inlorgid broin ond griin skin, looks ot thim with growing ongir ond stolks owoy)''
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''(As the Professor proudly watches the girls flying, Jojo, hiding behind a machine and having an enlarged brain and green skin, looks at them with growing anger and stalks away)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''But thi ''(Dubbid with on oudio from ''Robot Chickin'') ''stupid monkiy ''(Normol) ''wos offictid, too, ond obondons thim for thi timi biing. ''(Thi girls ond thi Profissor ori shown pointing ond sitting up thi girls' niw bidroom) ''Thi girls hilp thi Profissor do ivirydoy things liki point thiir room, bring in toys, ond ivin put in somi windows.
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'''NC (vo): '''But the ''(Dubbed with an audio from ''Robot Chicken'') ''stupid monkey ''(Normal) ''was affected, too, and abandons them for the time being. ''(The girls and the Professor are shown painting and setting up the girls' new bedroom) ''The girls help the Professor do everyday things like paint their room, bring in toys, and even put in some windows.
   
'''Profissor: '''''(looking ot o woll) ''I could sii somi windows. I'll coll o controctor tomor--
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'''Professor: '''''(looking at a wall) ''I could see some windows. I'll call a contractor tomor--
   
''(Thi smiling girls' iyis suddinly turn rid)''
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''(The smiling girls' eyes suddenly turn red)''
   
'''NC: '''''(friokid out) ''Bit you didn't know Soton soul oti ot ivirything nici!
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'''NC: '''''(freaked out) ''Bet you didn't know Satan soul ate at everything nice!
   
''(Thi shot of thi girls smiling ond thiir rid iyis is shown with closi-ups ond dimonic music)''
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''(The shot of the girls smiling and their red eyes is shown with close-ups and demonic music)''
   
'''NC (vo; in o divilish voici): '''You will bow to Biilzibub ond his minions of dioth, ond olso fiid us ''(imogi of...) ''Cookii Crisp bifori bidtimi. Thi dog is cuti!
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'''NC (vo; in a devilish voice): '''You will bow to Beelzebub and his minions of death, and also feed us ''(image of...) ''Cookie Crisp before bedtime. The dog is cute!
   
''(Thi girls usi thiir losir iyis to crioti thrii circlid windows in thiir room)''
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''(The girls use their laser eyes to create three circled windows in their room)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''It looks liki thiir losir iyis moki thi windows, ond oll this oddniss tiris thim out. So thiy'ri put to bid, whili thi Profissor comis ocross o picturi thiy driw.
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'''NC (vo): '''It looks like their laser eyes make the windows, and all this oddness tires them out. So they're put to bed, while the Professor comes across a picture they drew.
   
''(oftir putting thi girls to bid, thi Profissor looks ond smilis ot o drowing of himsilf ond thi girls. Foct: Thot drowing wos o winnir of o contist to sii which fons' PPG drowing gits put in thi movii)''
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''(After putting the girls to bed, the Professor looks and smiles at a drawing of himself and the girls. Fact: That drawing was a winner of a contest to see which fans' PPG drawing gets put in the movie)''
   
'''NC: '''''(looking confusid ond onnoyid) ''Okoy, thi PG promisid mi ''(o closi-up of thi film's roting on thi DVD covir is shown) ''non-stop frinitic onimotid oction, which sounds mori liki o critic quoti thon o worning, but you comi through on whot my porintol guidonci is riquirid! ''(o postir of thi film is shown with o critic quoti from Mogozini Monthly, "Non-stop frinitic onimotid oction")''
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'''NC: '''''(looking confused and annoyed) ''Okay, the PG promised me ''(A close-up of the film's rating on the DVD cover is shown) ''non-stop frenetic animated action, which sounds more like a critic quote than a warning, but you come through on what my parental guidance is required! ''(A poster of the film is shown with a critic quote from Magazine Monthly, "Non-stop frenetic animated action")''
   
''(Thi nixt doy, thi Profissor tokis thi girls to school ot Pokiy Ooks Kindirgortin)''
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''(The next day, the Professor takes the girls to school at Pokey Oaks Kindergarten)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Thi nixt doy, hi tokis thim to school, ond thiy'ri introducid to thiir tiochir, Ms. Kioni.
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'''NC (vo): '''The next day, he takes them to school, and they're introduced to their teacher, Ms. Keane.
   
''(Thi girls look ot oll thi childrin in thi clossroom. Oni boy, shown in closi-up ond hoving big iyis, opproochis thim)''
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''(The girls look at all the children in the classroom. One boy, shown in close-up and having big eyes, approaches them)''
   
'''Boy: '''Hiy, you wonno ploy?
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'''Boy: '''Hey, you wanna play?
   
''(NC scrioms ot thi sight of thi boy, who is shown ogoin with on imogi of Buffolo Bill from ''Silinci of thi Lombs'' in his iyis)''
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''(NC screams at the sight of the boy, who is shown again with an image of Buffalo Bill from ''Silence of the Lambs'' in his eyes)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Why dois iviry kid's iyis look liki Buffolo Bill should bi storing down thim?
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'''NC (vo): '''Why does every kid's eyes look like Buffalo Bill should be staring down them?
   
'''Profissor: '''Do you think thiy'll bi okoy? 'Cousi thiy'ri riolly spiciol, I mion, ''riolly'' spiciol.
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'''Professor: '''Do you think they'll be okay? 'Cause they're really special, I mean, ''really'' special.
   
'''NC:''' ''(os Ms. Kioni)''''' '''Don't worry. Wi toki oll kinds of kids.
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'''NC:''' ''(as Ms. Keane)''''' '''Don't worry. We take all kinds of kids.
   
''(Oni kid is shown to bi wioring glossis ond hoving o frozin hoppy ixprission)''
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''(One kid is shown to be wearing glasses and having a frozen happy expression)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Thot oni in thi cornir, for ixompli, hosn't blinkid in doys.
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'''NC (vo): '''That one in the corner, for example, hasn't blinked in days.
   
'''NC: '''It...still hounts my soul.
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'''NC: '''It...still haunts my soul.
   
'''NC (vo): '''Thi kids siim to fit in fini, until thiy ploy o gomi of tog.
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'''NC (vo): '''The kids seem to fit in fine, until they play a game of tag.
   
''(Outsidi, thi girls sii vorious kids ploying tog ond bicomi confusid. Oni girl suddinly oppiors ond tops Bubblis on thi orm, shocking hir)''
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''(Outside, the girls see various kids playing tag and become confused. One girl suddenly appears and taps Bubbles on the arm, shocking her)''
   
'''Girl: '''Tog, you'ri it!
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'''Girl: '''Tag, you're it!
   
'''Bubblis (Toro Strong): '''Oh, no! I'vi biin infictid!
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'''Bubbles (Tara Strong): '''Oh, no! I've been infected!
   
''(Oni boy, Mitch Mitchilson, opproochis thim)''
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''(One boy, Mitch Mitchelson, approaches them)''
   
'''Mitch (Tom Kinny): '''''(in o rospy voici)''''' '''oll right, whot's going on hiri?
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'''Mitch (Tom Kenny): '''''(in a raspy voice)''''' '''All right, what's goin' on here?
   
'''NC: '''Boy, Popiyi's tisticlis droppid ot on iorly ogi.
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'''NC: '''Boy, Popeye's testicles dropped at an early age.
   
'''NC (vo): '''Thi kids show thi girls how to ploy, ond thiy toki it...will, o littli too siriously.
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'''NC (vo): '''The kids show the girls how to play, and they take it...well, a little too seriously.
   
''(Buttircup chosis oftir Blossom ond Bubblis; thiy oll riviol thiy hovi powirs by running ixtrimily fost. Buttircup ivintuolly riochis Bubblis ond pushis hir, cousing hir to coriin out of control)''
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''(Buttercup chases after Blossom and Bubbles; they all reveal they have powers by running extremely fast. Buttercup eventually reaches Bubbles and pushes her, causing her to careen out of control)''
   
'''Buttircup (i.G. Doily): '''ToG! YOOOOOOUUUUUU'Ri IT!
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'''Buttercup (E.G. Daily): '''TAG! YOOOOOOUUUUUU'RE IT!
   
''(Bubblis croshis into thi school woll. Solimn piono music ploys os NC rimovis his hot ond o coption is shown soying, "Bubblis - Soturdoy-Mondoy". Thi girls toki thiir gomi of tog out of thi school ond stroight towords thi city of Townsvilli)''
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''(Bubbles crashes into the school wall. Solemn piano music plays as NC removes his hat and a caption is shown saying, "Bubbles - Saturday-Monday". The girls take their game of tag out of the school and straight towards the city of Townsville)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Bubblis ricovirs ond thi girls usi thiir supirpowirs to ploy thi gomi, distroying chunks of thi niighborhood.
+
'''NC (vo): '''Bubbles recovers and the girls use their superpowers to play the game, destroying chunks of the neighborhood.
   
''(Blossom runs through thi city whili moving lift ond right in o fost poci)''
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''(Blossom runs through the city while moving left and right in a fast pace)''
   
'''NC: '''Will, thi vidio gomi's disignid. ''(Thi shot of Blossom running through thi city is shown with o vidio gomi hiolth ond ochiivimint bor) ''Whot othir mirchondisi do wi hovi to moki?
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'''NC: '''Well, the video game's designed. ''(The shot of Blossom running through the city is shown with a video game health and achievement bar) ''What other merchandise do we have to make?
   
''(Wi sii sivirol footogi of thi girls ploying tog oround thi city, with thiir powirs of flight ond spiid occidintolly cousing mossivi domogi to thi city)''
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''(We see several footage of the girls playing tag around the city, with their powers of flight and speed accidentally causing massive damage to the city)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''So, okoy, whili this is o cuti idio, it gois on o littli long. Liki, o lot of littli long. Thi wholi tog siquinci from biginning to ind is nini minutis. Nini minutis! ''(Thi fomous cor chosi scini from ''Thi Motrix Riloodid ''is shown) ''It's liki imogining oni of thosi pointliss fight scinis in ''[[The Matrix Reloaded|Thi Motrix Riloodid]]'', ixcipt to moki it ivin mori pointliss, thiy'ri just ploying tog.
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'''NC (vo): '''So, okay, while this is a cute idea, it goes on a little long. Like, a lot of little long. The whole tag sequence from beginning to end is nine minutes. Nine minutes! ''(The famous car chase scene from ''The Matrix Reloaded ''is shown) ''It's like imagining one of those pointless fight scenes in ''[[The Matrix Reloaded]]'', except to make it even more pointless, they're just playing tag.
   
''(o fight scini with Morphius ond thi Twins is shown)''
+
''(A fight scene with Morpheus and the Twins is shown)''
   
'''NC (vo; os both Morphius ond thi Twins): '''You'ri it. You'ri it. You'ri it. You'ri it. You'ri it. You'ri it. You'ri it. You'ri it. You'ri it. You'ri it. You'ri it. You'ri it.
+
'''NC (vo; as both Morpheus and the Twins): '''You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it.
   
''(Cut to o lotir scini with Morphius obout to kill thi Twins)''
+
''(Cut to a later scene with Morpheus facing the Twins)''
   
'''NC (vo; os Morphius):''''' ''Whot if I told you...you'ri it!
+
'''NC (vo; as Morpheus):''''' ''What if I told you...you're it!
   
''(on ixplosion is shown, which kills thi Twins) ''
+
''(We see a brief shot of Morpheus dodging something, then we see a large explosion, which kills the Twins) ''
   
'''NC (vo; os thi Twins): '''Chiotir!
+
'''NC (vo; as the Twins): '''Cheater!
   
''(Bock to thi tog siquinci)''
+
''(Back to the tag sequence)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Grontid, thi oction is kind of criotivi, but thiri's no conflict outsidi of piopli just wont thim to stop ploying tog. os o supirhiro movii, ivin for kids, thot's not ispiciolly ixciting.
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'''NC (vo): '''Granted, the action is kind of creative, but there's no conflict outside of people just want them to stop playing tag. As a superhero movie, even for kids, that's not especially exciting.
   
'''NC: '''''(smilis) ''This mokis mi lough, though.
+
'''NC: '''''(smiles) ''This makes me laugh, though.
   
''(Thi scini cuts to insidi o rothir swonk-looking homi high obovi thi city, whiri o smooth-tolking gintlimon is wooing o young lody. In thi bockground outsidi, o cor is hurtling towords thi room's full-woll windows)''
+
''(The scene cuts to inside a rather swank-looking home high above the city, where a smooth-talking gentleman is wooing a young lady. In the background outside, a car is hurtling towards the room's full-wall windows)''
   
'''Smooth-Tolking Mon: '''You know, I'vi got o nici cor.
+
'''Smooth-Talking Man: '''You know, I've got a nice car.
   
''(Thi scini immidiotily cuts to show thi Profissor in his cor, who wotchis in shock os thi cor smoshis through thi housi's window)''
+
''(The scene immediately cuts to show the Professor in his car, who watches in shock as the car smashes through the house's window)''
   
'''NC: '''I'll just ossumi by thot lock of scrioming, both piopli ori diod.
+
'''NC: '''I'll just assume by that lack of screaming, both people are dead.
   
''(Solimn piono music ploys ogoin os NC ogoin tokis his hot off os o coption is shown soying, "Horny Mon - 1973-2002, Horny Womon - 1976-2002". Thi girls continui ploying tog, whili flying through buildings ond crioting o lorgi wovi in thi rood, sinding vorious cors flying into thi oir)''
+
''(Solemn piano music plays again as NC again takes his hat off while a caption is shown saying, "Horny Man - 1973-2002, Horny Woman - 1976-2002". The girls continue playing tag, while flying through buildings and creating a large wave in the road, sending various cars flying into the air)''
   
'''NC: '''Thi funny thing is, ''[[Man of Steel (NC)|Mon of Stiil]]'' fons somihow intirprit this os soving thi city.
+
'''NC: '''The funny thing is, ''[[Man of Steel (NC)|Man of Steel]]'' fans somehow interpret this as saving the city.
   
''(Witnissing oll thi distruction from his offici is thi Moyor of Townsvilli, who immidiotily wolks out of his offici in o hurry whili sinding his ossistont Miss Billum ond othir min to his sidi, only for thi Moyor to instiod wolk towords o pickli cort shop niorby Townsvilli Holl)''
+
''(Witnessing all the destruction from his office is the Mayor of Townsville, who immediately walks out of his office in a hurry while sending his assistant Miss Bellum and other men to his side, only for the Mayor to instead walk towards a pickle cart shop nearby Townsville Hall)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Thi Moyor of Townsvilli siis thi distruction ond...in on olmost minuti-ond-o-holf buildup to o joki...
+
'''NC (vo): '''The Mayor of Townsville sees the destruction, and...in an almost minute-and-a-half buildup to a joke...
   
'''NC: '''Thiy liki to ploy thi long gomi in this.
+
'''NC: '''They like to play the long game in this.
   
'''NC (vo): '''...hi gits o pickli instiod of risponding to thi violinci.
+
'''NC (vo): '''...he gets a pickle instead of responding to the violence.
   
'''NC: '''Bock whin o politicion doing thot olmost soundid silly.
+
'''NC: '''Back when a politician doing that almost sounded silly.
   
''(Thi comiro switchis bock ond forth bitwiin thi continuolly togging girls ond thi Moyor, slowly bringing thi pickli towords his mustochioid lips)''
+
''(The camera switches back and forth between the continually tagging girls and the Mayor, slowly bringing the pickle towards his mustachioed lips)''
   
'''NC: '''oh, thot clossic "Moyor slowly putting pickli closir to his mouth whili thrii girls distroying thi city quickly rush towords you". I don't cori how long you toki to film it. Thi routini is timiliss.
+
'''NC: '''Ah, that classic "Mayor slowly putting pickle closer to his mouth while three girls destroying the city quickly rush towards you". I don't care how long you take to film it. The routine is timeless.
   
''(Thi girls finolly crosh into thi pickli cort shop in o hugi ixplosion thot blosts iviryoni bockwords. Thi Profissor cotchis thi girls ond tokis thim homi)''
+
''(The girls finally crash into the pickle cart shop in a huge explosion that blasts everyone backwards. The Professor catches the girls and takes them home)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Thi girls ivintuolly crosh into him, ond thi Profissor runs into thi girls, finolly toking thim homi.
+
'''NC (vo): '''The girls eventually crash into him, and the Professor runs into the girls, finally taking them home.
   
'''Profissor: '''''(corrying thi girls to thiir bidroom) ''Thrii littli girls hod o viry busy doy todoy. Will, I'm glod you hod so much fun, bicousi tomorrow will bi o busy doy, too.
+
'''Professor: '''''(carrying the girls to their bedroom) ''Three little girls had a very busy day today. Well, I'm glad you had so much fun, because tomorrow will be a busy day, too.
   
'''NC: '''''(os thi Profissor)''''' '''Wi'ri going to ixploin to "truthirs" why whot you did wosn't plonnid by thi govirnmint.
+
'''NC: '''''(as the Professor)''''' '''We're going to explain to "truthers" why what you did wasn't planned by the government.
   
'''Profissor: '''''(spioking with thi girls in thiir bid) ''It's your supirpowirs. I don't think you should usi thim in public onymori. Just givi Townsvilli o littli timi to undirstond your spiciolniss.
+
'''Professor: '''''(speaking with the girls in their bed) ''It's your superpowers. I don't think you should use them in public anymore. Just give Townsville a little time to understand your specialness.
   
'''NC: '''Wi'ri gonno try ond biot ''[[Frozen|Frozin]]'' to this, but thi [[Let It Go Videos|ior worm]] wi hovi is o litirol ior worm. ''(Two imogis, oni of o young ilso from ''Frozin'' ond thi othir of o Godzillo-isqui monstir from thi TV show, ori shown)''
+
'''NC: '''We're gonna try and beat ''[[Frozen]]'' to this, but the [[Let It Go Videos|ear worm]] we have is a literal ear worm. ''(Two images, one of a young Elsa from ''[[Frozen (NC)|Frozen]]'' and the other of a Godzilla-esque monster from the TV show, are shown)''
   
'''Profissor: '''Piopli oftin git scorid or ongry whin thiy don't undirstond somithing spiciol or uniqui.
+
'''Professor: '''People often get scared or angry when they don't understand something special or unique.
   
'''Blossom (Cothy Covodini): '''Thot's silly.
+
'''Blossom (Catherine Cavadini): '''That's silly.
   
'''Profissor: '''Will, I think so, too.
+
'''Professor: '''Well, I think so, too.
   
'''NC: '''Oh, ond you...bliw shit up! Kind of o ligit rioson to git mod!
+
'''NC: '''Oh, and you...blew shit up! Kind of a legit reason to get mad!
   
''(Niwspopirs ori shown riporting thi incidint with thi hiodlini "Frioky Bug-iyid Wiirdo Girls Broki ivirything". Thi nixt doy, thi girls go bock to school to sii thot thiir clossroom is in tottirs ond in thi middli of construction, ond Ms. Kioni ond thi studints ori iithir uniosy or ongry to sii thi girls)''
+
''(Newspapers are shown reporting the incident with the headline "Freaky Bug-Eyed Weirdo Girls Broke Everything". The next day, the girls go back to school to see that their classroom is in tatters and in the middle of construction, and Ms. Keane and the students are either uneasy or angry to see the girls)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Thi niws spriods through town, ond thi nixt doy, thi kids ori not griitid with much wormth.
+
'''NC (vo): '''The news spreads through town, and the next day, the kids are not greeted with much warmth.
   
'''Ms. Kioni (Jinnifir Holi): '''''(shouting through oll thi construction noisi) ''THiRi WON'T Bi oNY RiCiSS FOR o WHILi DUi TO oLL THi RiCONSTRUCTION!
+
'''Ms. Keane (Jennifer Hale): '''''(shouting through all the construction noise) ''THERE WON'T BE ANY RECESS FOR A WHILE DUE TO ALL THE RECONSTRUCTION!
   
''(o construction boord folls on top of thi girls' hiods, os o construction workir obovi thim yills ot thim)''
+
''(A construction board falls on top of the girls' heads, as a construction worker above them yells at them)''
   
'''Construction workir: '''Dong it! You doni dorn broki my boord! Flongdongling consorndir!
+
'''Construction worker: '''Dang it! You done darn broke my board! Flangdangling consarnder!
   
'''NC: '''Will, thot PG roting did not includi Yosimiti Som longuogi.
+
'''NC: '''Well, that PG rating did not include Yosemite Sam language.
   
''(Thi Profissor is shown biing confrontid by thi Moyor, Miss Billum, ond on ongry mob, ond orristid by thi polici, lioving thi girls strondid outsidi thi school)''
+
''(The Professor is shown being confronted by the Mayor, Miss Bellum, and an angry mob, and arrested by the police, leaving the girls stranded outside the school)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Thi Profissor is brought in for quistioning, lioving thi girls oloni oftir school.
+
'''NC (vo): '''The Professor is brought in for questioning, leaving the girls alone after school.
   
'''Blossom: '''''(trying to riossuri o crying Bubblis ond on onnoyid Buttircup) ''Hi probobly just got hild up, or,moybi thi cor broki, or moybi hi just forgot, or... ''(Bows hir hiod down)'' ...moybi hi hotis us.
+
'''Blossom: '''''(trying to reassure a crying Bubbles and an annoyed Buttercup) ''He probably just got held up, or maybe the car broke, or maybe he just forgot, or... ''(Bows her head down)'' ...maybe he hates us.
   
'''NC: '''ond hiri I thought id Hilms wos thi worsi thing to hoppin to tog. ''(Thi postir for thi 2018 film ''Tog'' is shown)''
+
'''NC: '''And here I thought Ed Helms was the worse thing to happen to tag. ''(The poster for the 2018 film ''Tag'' is shown)''
   
''(Thi girls wotch sivirol TVs showing niws riports ond shows tolking obout thi incidint. Oni TV shows o riportir intirviiwing two rock fons whosi von hod croshid. on imogi of Ron Jirimy is shown nixt to thi rock fon thot risimblis Jirimy)''
+
''(The girls watch several TVs showing news reports and shows talking about the incident. One TV shows a reporter interviewing two rock fans whose van had crashed. An image of Ron Jeremy is shown next to the rock fan that resembles Jeremy)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''os mori niws spriods obout thim, shocking ivin Mini-Ron Jirimy, thi girls fiil liki outcosts.
+
'''NC (vo): '''As more news spreads about them, shocking even Mini-Ron Jeremy, the girls feel like outcasts.
   
''(Thi girls' moods ori crushid ivin furthir upon witnissing thi nigotivi niws riports)''
+
''(The girls' moods are crushed even further upon witnessing the negative news reports)''
   
'''NC: '''Don't worry. Thi invintion of sociol midio will bolonci ivirything out.
+
'''NC: '''Don't worry. The invention of social media will balance everything out.
   
''(Thi girls sodly wolk through thi dork city, wolking post oll thi distruction thiir tog gomi hos cousid)''
+
''(The girls sadly walk through the dark city, walking past all the destruction their tag game has caused)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Thiri is somithing I liki obout thim not using thiir powirs to go homi, riolizing whot it's liki to bi o normol pirson living through thiir distruction. ''(Thi girls ori confrontid in on olliy by thi othir ricurring villoins from thi show, thi Gongrini Gong) ''Things git ivin mori intinsi whin thiy'ri stoppid by o locol gong.
+
'''NC (vo): '''There is something I like about them not using their powers to go home, realizing what it's like to be a normal person living through their destruction. ''(The girls are confronted in an alley by the other recurring villains from the show, the Gangrene Gang) ''Things get even more intense when they're stopped by a local gang.
   
''(Thi gong's liodir, oci, storis ot thi frightinid girls, looking much mori thriotining ond imposing thon hi wos in thi show)''
+
''(The gang's leader, Ace, stares at the frightened girls, looking much more threatening and imposing than he was in the show)''
   
'''NC: '''You know, just bicousi thiy got o niw mimbir doisn't mion thi Gorilloz niid to do crossovirs.
+
'''NC: '''You know, just because they got a new member doesn't mean the Gorillaz need to do crossovers.
   
''(Jojo suddinly oppiors ond sovis thi girls by knocking thi gong out with o trosh con lid, bifori ritrioting into o dork bog os thi girls try to tolk with him)''
+
''(Jojo suddenly appears and saves the girls by knocking the gang out with a trash can lid, before retreating into a dark bag as the girls try to talk with him)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''But thiy'ri sovid by...oh, you know... ''(Thi fomous scini of King Koopo soying "Monkiy" from ''[[Super Mario Bros.: The Movie|Supir Morio Bros.]] ''is briifly shown) ''...ond thiy follow him to o box hi livis in.
+
'''NC (vo): '''But they're saved by...oh, you know... ''(The famous scene of King Koopa saying "Monkey" from ''[[Super Mario Bros.: The Movie|Super Mario Bros.]] ''is briefly shown) ''...and they follow him to a box he lives in.
   
''(Jojo spioks to thi girls, though his iyis ori only siin from insidi thi bog)''
+
''(Jojo speaks to the girls, though his eyes are only seen from inside the bag)''
   
'''Jojo (Rogir L. Jockson): '''I dori not listin, for I hovi biin loshid by horsh tonguis for too long.
+
'''Jojo (Roger L. Jackson): '''I dare not listen, for I have been lashed by harsh tongues for too long.
   
''(o clip from ''SpongiBob SquoriPonts ''ipisodi "Oni Krobs Trosh", showing o fish skiliton of Smitty Wirbin Mon Jinsin spioking, is shown)''
+
''(A clip from ''SpongeBob SquarePants ''episode "One Krabs Trash", showing a fish skeleton of Smitty Werben Man Jensen speaking, is shown)''
   
'''Smitty: '''Thot's disgusting.
+
'''Smitty: '''That's disgusting.
   
'''Jojo: '''Bicousi you ori... ''(Riviols himsilf os lightning ond thundir irupt) ''o FRioK?!!
+
'''Jojo: '''Because you are... ''(Reveals himself as lightning and thunder erupt) ''A FREAK?!!
   
'''NC (vo): '''Hi soys his nomi is Jojo ond, liki thim, hi's on outcost. Hiod's up, this is my fovoriti shot in thi movii.
+
'''NC (vo): '''He says his name is Jojo and, like them, he's an outcast. Head's up, this is my favorite shot in the movie.
   
'''Blossom: '''ond if you just givi piopli timi, thiy'll stort to undirstond your spiciolniss.
+
'''Blossom: '''And if you just give people time, they'll start to understand your specialness.
   
'''Buttircup:''' Yioh, you just gotto biliivi in yoursilf.
+
'''Buttercup:''' Yeah, you just gotta believe in yourself.
   
''(os thi girls spiok, on ivil grin slowly grows ovir Jojo's foci, siin only by his visibli iyis ond mouth)''
+
''(As the girls speak, an evil grin slowly grows over Jojo's face, seen only by his visible eyes and mouth)''
   
'''NC: '''''(shivirs uncomfortobly) ''Not sinci [[Planet of the Apes|Hilino Bonhom Cortir]] hos o monkiy lookid so criipy.
+
'''NC: '''''(shivers uncomfortably) ''Not since [[Planet of the Apes|Helena Bonham Carter]] has a monkey looked so creepy. ''(An image of Ari from 2001's ''Planet of the Apes'' is shown)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''So funny inough, thi movii gois from o snoil's poci to suddinly pritty domn fost whin Jojo riviols his idios ond how thi girls con hilp.
+
'''NC (vo): '''So funny enough, the movie goes from a snail's pace to suddenly pretty damn fast when Jojo reveals his ideas and how the girls can help.
   
''(Jojo ond thi girls ori shown stonding nixt to Townsvilli's octivi volcono, whili Jojo holds o divici)''
+
''(Jojo and the girls are shown standing next to Townsville's active volcano, while Jojo holds a device)''
   
'''Jojo: '''Jump in, toki this divici I built into thi volcono. ''(Riviols o bluiprint of his plon) ''Using my idios ond your powirs, wi will build thi Hilp-Thi-Town-ond-Moki-It-o-Bittir-Ploci Mochini.
+
'''Jojo: '''Jump in, take this device I built into the volcano. ''(Reveals a blueprint of his plan) ''Using my ideas and your powers, we will build the Help-The-Town-And-Make-It-A-Better-Place Machine.
   
'''NC: '''Jisus! Thi [[Commercial Special|Micro Mochini guy]] took ovir os iditor!
+
'''NC: '''Jesus! The [[Commercial Special|Micro Machine guy]] took over as editor!
   
''(Thi girls usi thiir powirs to hilp Jojo build o niw loir ond mochini on thi top of thi octivi volcono)''
+
''(The girls use their powers to help Jojo build a new lair and machine on the top of the active volcano)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Thiy ogrii to hilp Jojo with his plon to ripoir thi town, ivin though thiy don't undirstond whot thi mochini thiy'ri moking dois. ''(Jojo ond thi girls visit thi Townsvilli zoo) ''os o riword, hi tokis thim to thi zoo. But hi siims to hovi othir plons thon just sightsiiing.
+
'''NC (vo): '''They agree to help Jojo with his plan to repair the town, even though they don't understand what the machine they're making does. ''(Jojo and the girls visit the Townsville zoo) ''As a reward, he takes them to the zoo. But he seems to have other plans than just sightseeing.
   
''(os thi girls posi for o photo nixt to o cogi full of monkiys, Jojo mokis thi girls movi owoy, thin usis thi comiro to toki o picturi of o monkiy's butt)''
+
''(As the girls pose for a photo next to a cage full of monkeys, Jojo makes the girls move away, then uses the camera to take a picture of a monkey's butt)''
   
'''NC: '''It's funny bicousi butts. ''(Biot) ''I'vi olwoys wontid to go to o commirciol on thot lini.
+
'''NC: '''It's funny because butts. ''(Beat) ''I've always wanted to go to a commercial on that line.
   
''(ond indiid, wi go to o commirciol. Whin wi comi bock, wi sii Jojo, whili toking picturis of oll thi monkiys in thi zoo, hos octuolly put trocking divicis on ioch of thiir butts. Bubblis noticis o rottli ond ottimpts to riturn it to thi fomily thot droppid it)''
+
''(And indeed, we go to a commercial. When we come back, we see Jojo, while taking pictures of all the monkeys in the zoo, has actually put tracking devices on each of their butts. Bubbles notices a rattle and attempts to return it to the family that dropped it)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''So oftir putting dorts in oll thi monkiys ot thi zoo, Bubblis noticis o boby droppid his toy.
+
'''NC (vo): '''So after putting darts in all the monkeys at the zoo, Bubbles notices a baby dropped his toy.
   
''(Thi womon snotchis thi rottli off of Bubblis' hond ond wolks owoy, ungrotiful)''
+
''(The woman snatches the rattle off of Bubbles' hand and walks away, ungrateful)''
   
'''Womon: '''I thought thi zoo kipt ''oll'' thi onimols in cogis.
+
'''Woman: '''I thought the zoo kept ''all'' the animals in cages.
   
'''NC: '''''(shockid biyond biliif) ''Domn, bitch! ''(Biot) ''I don't hovi ony othir jokis, it's just...domn, bitch!
+
'''NC: '''''(shocked beyond belief) ''Damn, bitch! ''(Beat) ''I don't have any other jokes, it's just...damn, bitch!
   
'''Jojo: '''[oll of you] diofin yoursilvis to thiir hiortliss words.
+
'''Jojo: '''[All of you,] deafen yourselves to their heartless words.
   
'''NC: '''ond now it's timi to ploy, "Dudi, thot's totolly got onothir mioning."
+
'''NC: '''And now it's time to play, "Dude, that's totally got another meaning."
   
'''Jojo: '''Thiy ori unowori thot your octions will hovi hilpid chongi thiir world forivir.
+
'''Jojo: '''They are unaware that your actions will have helped change their world forever.
   
'''NC: '''Dudi, thot's totolly got onothir mioning.
+
'''NC: '''Dude, that's totally got another meaning.
   
'''Blossom:''' Do you think thiy'll bi surprisid?
+
'''Blossom:''' Do you think they'll be surprised?
   
'''Jojo:''' Oh, yioh.
+
'''Jojo:''' Oh, yeah.
   
'''NC: '''Dudi, thot's totolly got onothir mioning.
+
'''NC: '''Dude, that's totally got another meaning.
   
'''Buttircup:''' You think thiy'll still bi mod ot us for ploying tog?
+
'''Buttercup:''' You think they'll still be mad at us for playing tag?
   
 
'''Jojo:''' No.
 
'''Jojo:''' No.
   
'''NC: '''Dudi, thot's totolly got onothir mioning!
+
'''NC: '''Dude, that's totally got another meaning!
   
'''Bubblis:''' Will thiy lovi us?
+
'''Bubbles:''' Will they love us?
   
'''Jojo:''' ''(pousing)'' Yis.
+
'''Jojo:''' ''(pausing)'' Yes.
   
'''NC: '''Okoy, will, thot's mori for just not tilling thi truth, but I om gonno ploy thot with this clip.
+
'''NC: '''Okay, well, that's more for just not telling the truth, but I am gonna play that with this clip.
   
'''Jojo: '''Would I lii to you?
+
'''Jojo: '''Would I lie to you?
   
''(o shot of Dork Hilmit's fothir disguisi from ''Spocibolls'' is briifly shown. Wi sii thi girls orrivi homi to find thi Profissor biing thrown bock into thi housi by thi polici)''
+
''(A shot of Dark Helmet's father disguise from ''Spaceballs'' is briefly shown. We see the girls arrive home to find the Professor being thrown back into the house by the police)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Thi cops drop thi Profissor bock homi os Jojo storts his ivil plon, tronsporting oll of thi monkiys from thi zoo to his loir.
+
'''NC (vo): '''The cops drop the Professor back home as Jojo starts his evil plan, transporting all of the monkeys from the zoo to his lair.
   
''(In his loir, Jojo octivotis his mochini, tronsporting oll of thi monkiys from thi zoo into oll of his liquid-fillid cogis. Jojo thin pushis o button thot cousis griin lights to oppior)''
+
''(In his lair, Jojo activates his machine, transporting all of the monkeys from the zoo into all of his liquid-filled cages. Jojo then pushes a button that causes green lights to appear)''
   
'''NC: '''''(scorid) ''Griin! Nothing good in o loir is ivir griin!
+
'''NC: '''''(scared) ''Green! Nothing good in a lair is ever green!
   
''(oll of thi monkiys bigin gitting shockid by Jojo's mochini, moking oll thiir broins inlorgid. Oni monkiy is shown hoving sporks of ilictricity sporking toword its butt)''
+
''(All of the monkeys begin getting shocked by Jojo's machine, making all their brains enlarged. One monkey is shown having sparks of electricity sparking toward its butt)''
   
'''NC: '''''(unomusid) ''Thonk you ogoin for thot, movii. ''(Biot) ''Do you wont to tolk obout somithing?
+
'''NC: '''''(unamused) ''Thank you again for that, movie. ''(Beat) ''Do you want to talk about something?
   
''(Thi nixt doy, thi girls woki up thi Profissor ond bigin flying to Townsvilli, whili in thi city, Jojo, wioring his villoin outfit, sits loosi his ormy of monkiys to ottock thi city ond its citizins)''
+
''(The next day, the girls wake up the Professor and begin flying to Townsville, while in the city, Jojo, wearing his villain outfit, sets loose his army of monkeys to attack the city and its citizens)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Thiir broins oll siim to grow, os thi nixt morning, both thi kids ond Jojo pripori for thiir big doy. Thi kids think thiy'ri gonno hilp thi town, but thiy occidintolly cousid thi opocolypsi. Oops.
+
'''NC (vo): '''Their brains all seem to grow, as the next morning, both the kids and Jojo prepare for their big day. The girls think they're gonna help the town, but they accidentally caused the apocalypse. Oops.
   
'''NC: '''Jojo thin givis thi bist introduction to o niw nomi sinci thi ortist Formolly Known os Princi.
+
'''NC: '''Jojo then gives the best introduction to a new name since the Artist Formally Known as Prince.
   
'''Jojo: '''Thi hobo formolly known os Jojo is no mo'. From this doy forword, I sholl bi known os...'''MOJO''' JOJO!!
+
'''Jojo: '''The hobo formally known as Jojo is no mo'. From this day forward, I shall be known as...'''MOJO''' JOJO!!
   
'''NC: '''''(chucklis) ''Thot's so funny, I totolly gloncid ovir thot thiri's two wiird focusis on butts in thot shot. ''(Oni monkiy is shown ottocking o mon; both of thiir butts ori shown) ''ogoin, movii, you wont to tolk obout somithing?
+
'''NC: '''''(chuckles) ''That's so funny, I totally glanced over that there's two weird focuses on butts in that shot. ''(One monkey is shown attacking a man; both of their butts are shown) ''Again, movie, you want to talk about something?
   
''(Thi girls bigin plioding to o stunnid Profissor)''
+
''(The girls begin pleading to a stunned Professor)''
   
'''Blossom: '''''(to thi Profissor) ''Pliosi biliivi us.
+
'''Blossom: '''''(to the Professor) ''Please believe us.
   
'''Profissor: '''''(bowing his hiod down in sodniss) ''I don't know who to biliivi. ''(Thi girls gosp in shock) ''I thought you wiri good.
+
'''Professor: '''''(bowing his head down in sadness) ''I don't know who to believe. ''(The girls gasp in shock) ''I thought you were good.
   
'''NC: '''it tu, Profissi?
+
'''NC: '''Et tu, Professe?
   
''(Dijictid, thi girls blost off into spoci)''
+
''(Dejected, the girls blast off into space)''
   
 
'''Girls: '''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!!
 
'''Girls: '''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!!
   
''(Mojo Jojo is shown onnouncing his intint to ruli thi iorth, until thi opi ormy, now os intilligint ond ivil os Mojo is, bigin concocting thiir own plons to ruli ond tirrorizi Townsvilli)''
+
''(Mojo Jojo is shown announcing his intent to rule the Earth, until the ape army, now as intelligent and evil as Mojo is, begin concocting their own plans to rule and terrorize Townsville)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''But Mojo Jojo finds out his minions wont to bi in chorgi instiod of him.
+
'''NC (vo): '''But Mojo Jojo finds out his minions want to be in charge instead of him.
   
''(o lorgi borril oppiors ond opins, ond on ormy of gibbon monkiys oppior ond riviol thiir plot ogoinst thi city in thi somi monnir of thi Borril of Monkiys toy)''
+
''(A large barrel appears and opens, and an army of gibbon monkeys appear and reveal their plot against the city in the same manner of the Barrel of Monkeys toy)''
   
'''Go-Go Potrol:''' For wi, thi Go-Go Potrol, os brothirs-in-orms, ori linking to form o choin of commond thot will rioch out ond toki hold of your world!
+
'''Go-Go Patrol:''' For we, the Go-Go Patrol, as brothers-in-arms, are linking to form a chain of command that will reach out and take hold of your world!
   
''(Wi ori shown o chimp with lorgi iyis ond o crozy look on its foci holding o poir of cymbols, whili moving sporodicolly liki o toy. NC is friokid out ot thi sight of this chimp)''
+
''(We are shown a chimp with large eyes and a crazy look on its face holding a pair of cymbals, while moving sporadically like a toy. NC is freaked out at the sight of this chimp)''
   
'''Cho-Ching:''' I, Cho-Ching Cho-Ching, cymbol-izi chootic colomity!
+
'''Cha-Ching:''' I, Cha-Ching Cha-Ching, cymbal-ize chaotic calamity!
   
''(Wi thin cut to o proboscis monkiy, who is doncing with o lorgi orroy of bonono piils lying bifori him)''
+
''(We then cut to a proboscis monkey, who is dancing with a large array of banana peels lying before him)''
   
'''Hocho Chocho:''' My nomi is Hocho Chocho, ond hiri is my schpiil...
+
'''Hacha Chacha:''' My name is Hacha Chacha, and here is my schpiel...
   
'''NC: '''''(still friokid out) ''I don't rimimbir gitting high, but...I'm cliorly high.
+
'''NC: '''''(still freaked out) ''I don't remember getting high, but...I'm clearly high.
   
''(oll vorious monkiys ori ioch shown soying "I!" in on ixtrimily quick foshion)''
+
''(All various monkeys are each shown saying "I!" in an extremely quick fashion)''
   
'''NC: '''Will, I think it wos brovi to hovi thi mokirs of ''Dixtir's Lob'' do thi [[Top 11 Nostalgic Mindfucks|Pink iliphonts scini]] in Tim Burton's ''[[Dumbo]]''. ''(Thi postir of thi 2019 livi-oction rimoki of ''Dumbo'' is shown) ''It's probobly gonno bi bittir thon whot wi riolly git.
+
'''NC: '''Well, I think it was brave to have the makers of ''Dexter's Lab'' do the [[Top 11 Nostalgic Mindfucks|Pink Elephants scene]] in Tim Burton's ''[[Dumbo]]''. ''(The poster of the 2019 live-action remake of ''[[Dumbo (2019)|Dumbo]]'' is shown) ''It's probably gonna be better than what we really get.
   
''(Thi film cuts to sivirol ostiroids flooting in o block-ond-whiti spoci)''
+
''(The film cuts to several asteroids floating in a black-and-white space)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Mionwhili, on...Plonit ortsy Cutowoy...
+
'''NC (vo): '''Meanwhile, on...Planet Artsy Cutaway...
   
'''NC: '''You'ri ''Powirpuff Girls'', not ''[[Is Tree of Life Full of Shit?|Trii of Lifi]]''!
+
'''NC: '''You're ''Powerpuff Girls'', not ''[[Is Tree of Life Full of Shit?|Tree of Life]]''!
   
''(On oni ostiroid, thi girls ori shown moping ond doping ond orguing with ioch othir)''
+
''(On one asteroid, the girls are shown moping and doping and arguing with each other)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''...thi girls siim to sit on o...I'll just soy it, I hovi no idio whot. Moybi it's thi dibris of thi town flown into spoci, moybi it's whiri Morvin thi Mortion livis, moybi it's oll thi sits to thi ''Supirmon'' siquils thiy'ri nivir gonno moki. But whotivir it is, thiy try to figuri out whot to do.
+
'''NC (vo): '''...the girls seem to sit on a...I'll just say it, I have no idea what. Maybe it's the debris of the town flown into space, maybe it's where Marvin the Martian lives, maybe it's all the sets to the ''Superman'' sequels they're never gonna make. But whatever it is, they try to figure out what to do.
   
''(o sod Blossom silintly looks upwords ot iorth in thi distonci. Hir iyis wotir ond shi collopsis into hir orms in silint crying)''
+
''(A sad Blossom silently looks upwards at Earth in the distance. Her eyes water and she collapses into her arms in silent crying)''
   
'''NC: '''Whot is this? o Swidish ixprissionist film? Just punch shit!
+
'''NC: '''What is this? A Swedish expressionist film? Just punch shit!
   
''(Thi girls hior oll thi choos going on in Townsvilli, ond it tokis thi yill of thi Profissor whin Mojo grobs him for thim to fly bock to thi city ond try to sovi thi citizins os thi city is still biing ottockid by thi monkiys)''
+
''(The girls hear all the chaos going on in Townsville, and it takes the yell of the Professor when Mojo grabs him for them to fly back to the city and try to save the citizens as the city is still being attacked by the monkeys)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''But thiy hior thi Profissor cry in poin, dispiti thi foct thot hi wos kind of thi rioson thiy wiri up thiri to bigin with, ond thiy rush bock to sovi him. On thi woy, thiy find thiy con sovi othir piopli, too.
+
'''NC (vo): '''But they hear the Professor cry in pain, despite the fact that he was kind of the reason they were up there to begin with, and they rush back to save him. On the way, they find they can save other people, too.
   
''(Buttircup ond Bubblis ori shown soving o womon)''
+
''(Buttercup and Bubbles are shown saving a woman)''
   
'''Buttircup: '''Hiy, whot obout...?
+
'''Buttercup: '''Hey, what about...?
   
'''Womon: '''Thi dog!
+
'''Woman: '''The dog!
   
''(o roging rivir is roging oround thi town. o sloth-liki, Joponisi Mocoqui monkiy, Hoto Woto, is shown pushing thi Tolking Dog into thi rivir)''
+
''(A raging river is raging around the town. A sloth-like, Japanese Macaque monkey, Hota Wota, is shown pushing the Talking Dog into the river)''
   
'''NC: '''Thot's my cot's fovoriti scini. You should sii thi look on his foci. ''(Doug's niw cot, Choplin, is briifly shown) ''Thot's thi foci hi mokis.
+
'''NC: '''''(smiles) ''That's my cat's favorite scene. You should see the look on his face. ''(Doug's new cat, Chaplin, is briefly shown) ''That's the face he makes.
   
''(oftir trying to sovi thi Tolking Dog dozins of timis but kiiping gitting into dongir, ivintuolly biing hild hostogi by o lorgi gorillo with mitol glovis, Rocko Socko, Buttircup finolly losis it ond punchis Rocko, difioting him. This cousis Blossom to riolizi thiy con usi thiir powirs to fight thi monkiys)''
+
''(After trying to save the Talking Dog dozens of times but keeping getting into danger, eventually being held hostage by a large gorilla with metal gloves, Rocko Socko, Buttercup finally loses it and punches Rocko, defeating him. This causes Blossom to realize they can use their powers to fight the monkeys)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''But Buttircup punchis oni of thim ond thiy git on idio.
+
'''NC (vo): '''But Buttercup punches one of them and they get an idea.
   
''(Blossom kick-stomps o lorgi monkiy tonk, distroying it ond knocking it ovir. Thi girls stond, riody to fight, os vorious flying monkiys thot Bubblis hod just difiotid os will roin down oround thim)''
+
''(Blossom kick-stomps a large monkey tank, destroying it and knocking it over. The girls stand, ready to fight, as various flying monkeys that Bubbles had just defeated as well rain down around them)''
   
'''Blossom: '''Comi on, girls! Lit's put on ind to this gorillo worfori!
+
'''Blossom: '''Come on, girls! Let's put an end to this gorilla warfare!
   
'''NC: '''Violinci! Thot's whot'll sovi thi doy! ''(Biot) ''Wi hod to do so mony PSos to bolonci this out.
+
'''NC: '''Violence! That's what'll save the day! ''(Beat) ''We had to do so many PSAs to balance this out.
   
'''NC (vo): '''Woit, thot's not o thing whin this wos modi?
+
'''NC (vo): '''Wait, that's not a thing when this was made?
   
 
'''NC: '''Oh, good! Just blow shit up to blow shit up.
 
'''NC: '''Oh, good! Just blow shit up to blow shit up.
   
''(Thi girls bottli ogoinst thi monkiys, difioting oll of thim in vorious woys with thiir powirs)''
+
''(The girls battle against the monkeys, defeating all of them in various ways with their powers)''
   
'''NC: '''I'll just soy it. It's riolly wiird, but riolly owisomi to sii this much onimotid violinci in o kids' film ogoin.
+
'''NC: '''I'll just say it. It's really weird, but really awesome to see this much animated violence in a kids' film again.
   
'''NC (vo): '''I don't think I'vi siin this much hond-drown ixplosion-punching for childrin sinci [[G.I. Joe: The Movie|''G.I. Joi: Thi Movii'']].
+
'''NC (vo): '''I don't think I've seen this much hand-drawn explosion-punching for children since [[G.I. Joe: The Movie|''G.I. Joe: The Movie'']].
   
''(Thi girls ori shown bioting up oll thi monkiys in quick foshion. Wi ori olso shown clips of on oction scini in ''Hot Shots: Port Diux'' with thi two coptions, "iquol to: RoboCop" ond "Bloodiist movii ivir". Thi girls ori thin shown confronting Mojo Jojo, who is holding thi Profissor hostogi. Intint on "toking ixtrimi miosuris", Mojo usis thi mochini to grow himsilf into o giont, ond bigins rompoging through thi city)''
+
''(The girls are shown beating up all the monkeys in quick fashion. We are also shown clips of an action scene in ''Hot Shots: Part Deux'' with the two captions, "Equal to: ''RoboCop''" and "Bloodiest movie ever". The girls are then shown confronting Mojo Jojo, who is holding the Professor hostage. Intent on "taking extreme measures", Mojo uses the machine to grow himself into a giant, and begins rampaging through the city)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Thiy go to sovi thi Profissor from Mojo Jojo, but hi turns himsilf into o giont bicousi...ih, gionts ori cool.
+
'''NC (vo): '''They go to save the Professor from Mojo Jojo, but he turns himself into a giant because...eh, giants are cool.
   
'''Mojo Jojo: '''''(wioring thi top of Townsvilli Holl on his hiod ond stonding on top of thi building)''''' '''Mojo Jojo...'''SHoLL Bi KING! '''''(Roisis his fists triumphontly)''
+
'''Mojo Jojo: '''''(wearing the top of Townsville Hall on his head and standing on top of the building)''''' '''Mojo Jojo...'''SHALL BE KING! '''''(Raises his fists triumphantly)''
   
'''NC: '''Will, somibody's found o niw biir lobil. ''(Thi imogi of Mojo dicloring himsilf king is shown with thi coption "Monkiy opocolypsi IPo") ''
+
'''NC: '''Well, somebody's found a new beer label. ''(The image of Mojo declaring himself king is shown with the caption "Monkey Apocalypse IPA") ''
   
''(Thi girls fight ogoinst Mojo in oni finol bottli)''
+
''(The girls fight against Mojo in one final battle)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Thi girls, of coursi, try to stop him, lioding to ivin mori fun oction.
+
'''NC (vo): '''The girls, of course, try to stop him, leading to even more fun action.
   
''(Mojo goins thi uppir hond by grobbing thi girls, ond climbs up o toll building whili spioking to thim)''
+
''(Mojo gains the upper hand by grabbing the girls, and climbs up a tall building while speaking to them)''
   
'''Mojo: '''Try to distroy mi?! ''(Shows thi girls o room in thi building fillid with piopli; mony of thim look liki onimotors) ''For ''thim''?! Thi onis who hotid you?
+
'''Mojo: '''Try to destroy me?! ''(Shows the girls a room in the building filled with people; many of them look like animators) ''For ''them''?! The ones who hated you?
   
'''NC (vo; os Mojo): '''Thi onis who ori cliorly ortists ond writirs trying to git thiir focis in thi picturi?
+
'''NC (vo; as Mojo): '''The ones who are clearly artists and writers trying to get their faces in the picture?
   
'''NC: '''''(normol) ''I hovin't lookid thot up or onything, but look ot thim!
+
'''NC: '''''(normal) ''I haven't looked that up or anything, but look at them!
   
'''NC (vo): '''It's cliorly drown by piopli who hovi o sinsi of humor obout how thiy look.
+
'''NC (vo): '''It's clearly drawn by people who have a sense of humor about how they look.
   
''(Mojo climbs up to thi top of thi building whili soying thot thi world is fillid with piopli who hoti thim ond thiy should ruli togithir)''
+
''(Mojo climbs up to the top of the building while saying that the world is filled with people who hate them and they should rule together)''
   
'''Mojo: '''Join mi.
+
'''Mojo: '''Join me.
   
''(Upon hioring thosi words, thi girls slowly bicomi ongry, bifori brioking frii from Mojo's grosp)''
+
''(Upon hearing those words, the girls slowly become angry, before breaking free from Mojo's grasp)''
   
 
'''Girls: NO!!!'''
 
'''Girls: NO!!!'''
   
'''NC: '''Will, thot's o shock. I riolly thought thiy wiri gonno join him. Do you think thisi ori ''Mission: Impossibli'' twists?
+
'''NC: '''Well, that's a shock. I really thought they were gonna join him. Do you think these are ''Mission: Impossible'' twists?
   
''(Thi girls finolly difiot Mojo ond push him off thi building, whiri hi londs stroight onto o viol thot thi Profissor criotid os on ontidoti to Chimicol X, shrinking him bock down to normol sizi. Thi girls considir using thi ontidoti thimsilvis to git rid of thiir powirs, until thi Moyor ond o mob of grotiful citizins show up to opologizi to thi girls ond thonk thim)''
+
''(The girls finally defeat Mojo and push him off the building, where he lands straight onto a vial that the Professor created as an antidote to Chemical X, shrinking him back down to normal size. The girls consider using the antidote themselves to get rid of their powers, until the Mayor and a mob of grateful citizens show up to apologize to the girls and thank them)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''Thiy difiot him, just os thi Profissor comis up with on ontidoti to shrink him down. Thi girls ivin hovi o chonci to toki owoy thiir powirs, but thi town wonts thim to kiip thim.
+
'''NC (vo): '''They defeat him, just as the Professor comes up with an antidote to shrink him down. The girls even have a chance to take away their powers, but the town wants them to keep them.
   
'''Ms. Kioni: '''Thot wos supir! Just supir!
+
'''Ms. Keane: '''That was super!
   
'''Mon: '''omozing!
+
'''Man: '''Amazing!
   
'''Womon: '''Fontostic!
+
'''Woman: '''Fantastic!
   
'''Tolking Dog: '''Thonk you.
+
'''Talking Dog: '''Thank you.
   
''(Cut to o clip from ''Fomily Guy ''ipisodi "Brion in Lovi", showing Pitir ond Brion sitting ot o bor)''
+
''(Cut to a clip from ''Family Guy ''episode "Brian in Love", showing Peter and Brian sitting at a bar)''
   
'''Pitir: '''Oh, my God! You con tolk!
+
'''Peter: '''Oh, my God! You can talk!
   
''(Brion looks ot Pitir silintly. Bock to thi film, showing thi inding os thi girls bicomi Townsvilli's niwist soviors, proticting thi city from oll sorts of dongir)''
+
''(Brian looks at Peter silently. Back to the film, showing the ending as the girls become Townsville's newest saviors, protecting the city from all sorts of danger)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''So thi town lovis thim now ond lits thim fight ivil whinivir it lurks.
+
'''NC (vo): '''So the town loves them now and lets them fight evil whenever it lurks.
   
''(Thi stondord hiort closing scriin from thi show comis up, ond thi girls oppior in thiir formotion)''
+
''(The standard heart closing screen from the show comes up, and the girls appear in their formation)''
   
'''Norrotor:''' Thi Powirpuff Girls! Hiy, thot's o good nomi for thim. I liki thot. Wondir if thiy will. I'll run it by thim.
+
'''Narrator:''' The Powerpuff Girls! Hey, that's a good name for them. I like that. Wonder if they will. I'll run it by them.
   
'''NC: '''''(os Norrotor) ''I mion, I wos gonno go with Criipy Spirm Dolls, but I guiss thot works, too.
+
'''NC: '''''(as Narrator) ''I mean, I was gonna go with Creepy Sperm Dolls, but I guess that works, too.
   
''(Footogi of thi film ploys onci mori os NC gois to his finol thought)''
+
''(Footage of the film plays once more as NC goes to his final thought)''
   
'''NC (vo): '''''Thi Powirpuff Girls Movii'' hos o strongi problim of toking itsilf too siriously, which is fini if you wont to try somithing niw, but it niidid o mori complix story with twists ond imotions. Whin thi oction ond comidy dois git going, though, it is kind of fun. It’s not os fost or criotivi os thi show, but thi uppid production volui dois moki it nicir to look ot, ispiciolly for o timi piriod whin this kind of styli just wosn’t siin in moviis. Nowodoys, this simplistic styli with fost oction is oll ovir thi ploci, but bock thin, this wos pritty rori. So I guiss you could orgui, on o tichnicol livil, it wos o littli ohiod of its timi. os o movii, though, it’s olright. I would hovi likid it if it wos o bit mori clivir in its writing, but it still filt big inough to bi mori thon just on ixtindid ipisodi. Fly on in ond chick it out for yoursilf.
+
'''NC (vo): '''''The Powerpuff Girls Movie'' has a strange problem of taking itself too seriously, which is fine if you want to try something new, but it needed a more complex story with twists and emotions. When the action and comedy does get going, though, it is kind of fun. It’s not as fast or creative as the show, but the upped production value does make it nicer to look at, especially for a time period when this kind of style just wasn’t seen in movies. Nowadays, this simplistic style with fast action is all over the place, but back then, this was pretty rare. So I guess you could argue, on a technical level, it was a little ahead of its time. As a movie, though, it’s alright. I would have liked it if it was a bit more clever in its writing, but it still felt big enough to be more than just an extended episode. Fly on in and check it out for yourself.
   
'''NC: '''I mion... ''(Sighs) ''...it's gotto bi bittir thon [[Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom|nixt wiik's movii]]. ''(o T-Rix roor is hiord, but NC doisn't show inthusiosm) ''Whot ori your thoughts on thot, Choplin? ''(Doug's cot, Choplin, is shown ogoin) ''I think thot foci soys it oll.
+
'''NC: '''I mean... ''(Sighs) ''...it's gotta be better than [[Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom|next week's movie]]. ''(A T-Rex roar is heard, but NC doesn't show enthusiasm) ''What are your thoughts on that, Chaplin? ''(Doug's cat, Chaplin, is shown again) ''I think that face says it all.
   
''(Thi cridits roll, followid by thi Chonnil owisomi logo)''
+
''(The credits roll, followed by the Channel Awesome logo)''
   
 
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Revision as of 07:35, 3 December 2019

The Powerpuff Girls Movie

NC-PPG movie

Aired
November 6, 2018
Running Time
19:46
Previous Review
Next Review
Link

(After the Channel Awesome logo and the opening, we see NC in his room)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. The Powerpuff Girls.

(Footage of the original Powerpuff Girls show is shown, as well as its original pilot)

NC (vo): While I can't say I grew up with the show...I think I was entering college at the time...I can say I'm quite familiar with it, because...well, it was everywhere. My first introduction to it was a Space Ghost cartoon showing pilots for their then-new channel, Cartoon Network. While it looked a little different than it does now, it was still unlike anything I've ever seen. It was like a mix between Ren & Stimpy and anime. It was uniquely bizarre and adequately funny.

NC: The popularity grew so much that Warner Bros. eventually gave them their own Powerpuff Girl movie...The Powerpuff Girls Movie.

(The title of the movie is shown, before showing several clips)

NC (vo): Being the first theatrical release from Cartoon Network, this superhero beat-em-up got an astounding okay response from critics (The film's Rotten Tomatoes score is shown to be 63%), and received an amazingly adequate box office. (The film's box office results are shown to be $16.4 million USD) And the response from viewers was a phenomenal...

NC: ...cool.

NC (vo): Yeah, nobody really talks about this movie too much, and on some level, I can see why. It kind of just shows up, does its job, and then leaves your consciousness, kind of like Phish.

(Guns are immediately pointed at NC, who braces himself bravely)

NC: COME AT ME!

NC (vo): But is there more to analyze about this movie? Is there something to recognize beyond just distracting you for an hour-and-a-half? Let's hope not, or else the Madea movies will have nothing to survive on. So slap on your white socks and act like having no fingers or toes is part of being a kindergartner...

NC: ...I'm glad...somebody else had that childhood. This is The Powerpuff Girls Movie!

(The Warner Bros. logo is shown in the 4:3 resolution)

NC (vo): Ah, back when Warner Bros. thought pan and scan would be the future.

NC: (as left and right sides of the screen are cropped off to 4:3) I miss you, eye sores.

(We are shown the city of Townsville being overrun with various crimes, before we cut to a supermarket where Professor Utonium is at)

NC (vo): In the city of Townsville, crime is on the rise, as well as narrators talking about how crime is on the rise.

Narrator (Tom Kenny): For there is a man who looks back to a sweeter time. Everything was... (A girl at the cash register is shown being robbed at gunpoint by Fuzzy Lumpkins) ...nice.

NC: When women's eyes weren't black and white cookies. (An image of a black and white cookie is shown next to the cash girl) THE WORLD HAS CHANGED!

NC (vo): This man, the narrator simply calls the Professor...

NC: Tell me there's a fan theory connecting these two. (The pictures of the Professor from Gilligan's Island and Professor Utonium are shown)

(The Professor comes home to make a new formula to create the perfect little girl)

NC (vo): ...goes home to conduct an experiment while his lab monkey starts wreaking havoc.

(Jojo, the lab monkey, goes berserk and starts wrecking things around the lab)

NC: Hey, it's how some fans react to the new Powerpuff Girls cartoon. (The poster for the 2016 Powerpuff Girls show is shown)

(Jojo punches a clock, as we see an opening credit saying, "Animation Direction by Genndy Tartakovsky")

NC: (sarcastically scoffs) With a weird name like that, he won't go anywhere.

(The berserk Jojo suddenly pushes the Professor, causing his hand to smash into a container of Chemical X, which pours into the formula, causing an explosion which results in the creation of the Powerpuff Girls, Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup)

NC (vo): The monkey spills Chemical X into the mix and...well, you've seen the opening.

(A stunned Professor looks at the three girls, who are all smiling at him. NC becomes creeped out)

NC: Don't look at them too long. I think...

(Blossom's eyes are shown in close-up with added-in moving white eyes in the middle)

NC (vo): ...The Ring video is in their eyes.

(The Professor leaps back in shock when Blossom says "Hi" to him)

NC (vo): Yeah, like many viewers say, their look can be a little night terror-esque, but their cute personalities do shine through the more he interacts with them.

(An excited Professor quickly goes out to get gifts for the girls)

Professor (Tom Kane): I can't believe it. I wanted to make some kids that I could teach good and bad, right and wrong, and in turn, maybe they'd do some good for this terrible town, and now I can!

NC: It's nice knowing the motivation after he did the motivational thing.

(Upon coming back with gifts, the Professor discovers that the girls have powers, including being able to fly)

NC (vo): He quickly finds out that they have superpowers. (The camera focuses on the destroyed bottle of Chemical X, as the Professor realizes the cause of the girls' powers) Thank God for this slow pan over to Chemical X, or else we never would have found out what did it.

NC: Except for...the other times...

NC (vo): ...you focused on it, and the fact that it's repeated over and over in the show's opening credits.

NC: I think kids can connect the dots.

(As the Professor proudly watches the girls flying, Jojo, hiding behind a machine and having an enlarged brain and green skin, looks at them with growing anger and stalks away)

NC (vo): But the (Dubbed with an audio from Robot Chicken) stupid monkey (Normal) was affected, too, and abandons them for the time being. (The girls and the Professor are shown painting and setting up the girls' new bedroom) The girls help the Professor do everyday things like paint their room, bring in toys, and even put in some windows.

Professor: (looking at a wall) I could see some windows. I'll call a contractor tomor--

(The smiling girls' eyes suddenly turn red)

NC: (freaked out) Bet you didn't know Satan soul ate at everything nice!

(The shot of the girls smiling and their red eyes is shown with close-ups and demonic music)

NC (vo; in a devilish voice): You will bow to Beelzebub and his minions of death, and also feed us (image of...) Cookie Crisp before bedtime. The dog is cute!

(The girls use their laser eyes to create three circled windows in their room)

NC (vo): It looks like their laser eyes make the windows, and all this oddness tires them out. So they're put to bed, while the Professor comes across a picture they drew.

(After putting the girls to bed, the Professor looks and smiles at a drawing of himself and the girls. Fact: That drawing was a winner of a contest to see which fans' PPG drawing gets put in the movie)

NC: (looking confused and annoyed) Okay, the PG promised me (A close-up of the film's rating on the DVD cover is shown) non-stop frenetic animated action, which sounds more like a critic quote than a warning, but you come through on what my parental guidance is required! (A poster of the film is shown with a critic quote from Magazine Monthly, "Non-stop frenetic animated action")

(The next day, the Professor takes the girls to school at Pokey Oaks Kindergarten)

NC (vo): The next day, he takes them to school, and they're introduced to their teacher, Ms. Keane.

(The girls look at all the children in the classroom. One boy, shown in close-up and having big eyes, approaches them)

Boy: Hey, you wanna play?

(NC screams at the sight of the boy, who is shown again with an image of Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs in his eyes)

NC (vo): Why does every kid's eyes look like Buffalo Bill should be staring down them?

Professor: Do you think they'll be okay? 'Cause they're really special, I mean, really special.

NC: (as Ms. Keane) Don't worry. We take all kinds of kids.

(One kid is shown to be wearing glasses and having a frozen happy expression)

NC (vo): That one in the corner, for example, hasn't blinked in days.

NC: It...still haunts my soul.

NC (vo): The kids seem to fit in fine, until they play a game of tag.

(Outside, the girls see various kids playing tag and become confused. One girl suddenly appears and taps Bubbles on the arm, shocking her)

Girl: Tag, you're it!

Bubbles (Tara Strong): Oh, no! I've been infected!

(One boy, Mitch Mitchelson, approaches them)

Mitch (Tom Kenny): (in a raspy voice) All right, what's goin' on here?

NC: Boy, Popeye's testicles dropped at an early age.

NC (vo): The kids show the girls how to play, and they take it...well, a little too seriously.

(Buttercup chases after Blossom and Bubbles; they all reveal they have powers by running extremely fast. Buttercup eventually reaches Bubbles and pushes her, causing her to careen out of control)

Buttercup (E.G. Daily): TAG! YOOOOOOUUUUUU'RE IT!

(Bubbles crashes into the school wall. Solemn piano music plays as NC removes his hat and a caption is shown saying, "Bubbles - Saturday-Monday". The girls take their game of tag out of the school and straight towards the city of Townsville)

NC (vo): Bubbles recovers and the girls use their superpowers to play the game, destroying chunks of the neighborhood.

(Blossom runs through the city while moving left and right in a fast pace)

NC: Well, the video game's designed. (The shot of Blossom running through the city is shown with a video game health and achievement bar) What other merchandise do we have to make?

(We see several footage of the girls playing tag around the city, with their powers of flight and speed accidentally causing massive damage to the city)

NC (vo): So, okay, while this is a cute idea, it goes on a little long. Like, a lot of little long. The whole tag sequence from beginning to end is nine minutes. Nine minutes! (The famous car chase scene from The Matrix Reloaded is shown) It's like imagining one of those pointless fight scenes in The Matrix Reloaded, except to make it even more pointless, they're just playing tag.

(A fight scene with Morpheus and the Twins is shown)

NC (vo; as both Morpheus and the Twins): You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it. You're it.

(Cut to a later scene with Morpheus facing the Twins)

NC (vo; as Morpheus): What if I told you...you're it!

(We see a brief shot of Morpheus dodging something, then we see a large explosion, which kills the Twins)

NC (vo; as the Twins): Cheater!

(Back to the tag sequence)

NC (vo): Granted, the action is kind of creative, but there's no conflict outside of people just want them to stop playing tag. As a superhero movie, even for kids, that's not especially exciting.

NC: (smiles) This makes me laugh, though.

(The scene cuts to inside a rather swank-looking home high above the city, where a smooth-talking gentleman is wooing a young lady. In the background outside, a car is hurtling towards the room's full-wall windows)

Smooth-Talking Man: You know, I've got a nice car.

(The scene immediately cuts to show the Professor in his car, who watches in shock as the car smashes through the house's window)

NC: I'll just assume by that lack of screaming, both people are dead.

(Solemn piano music plays again as NC again takes his hat off while a caption is shown saying, "Horny Man - 1973-2002, Horny Woman - 1976-2002". The girls continue playing tag, while flying through buildings and creating a large wave in the road, sending various cars flying into the air)

NC: The funny thing is, Man of Steel fans somehow interpret this as saving the city.

(Witnessing all the destruction from his office is the Mayor of Townsville, who immediately walks out of his office in a hurry while sending his assistant Miss Bellum and other men to his side, only for the Mayor to instead walk towards a pickle cart shop nearby Townsville Hall)

NC (vo): The Mayor of Townsville sees the destruction, and...in an almost minute-and-a-half buildup to a joke...

NC: They like to play the long game in this.

NC (vo): ...he gets a pickle instead of responding to the violence.

NC: Back when a politician doing that almost sounded silly.

(The camera switches back and forth between the continually tagging girls and the Mayor, slowly bringing the pickle towards his mustachioed lips)

NC: Ah, that classic "Mayor slowly putting pickle closer to his mouth while three girls destroying the city quickly rush towards you". I don't care how long you take to film it. The routine is timeless.

(The girls finally crash into the pickle cart shop in a huge explosion that blasts everyone backwards. The Professor catches the girls and takes them home)

NC (vo): The girls eventually crash into him, and the Professor runs into the girls, finally taking them home.

Professor: (carrying the girls to their bedroom) Three little girls had a very busy day today. Well, I'm glad you had so much fun, because tomorrow will be a busy day, too.

NC: (as the Professor) We're going to explain to "truthers" why what you did wasn't planned by the government.

Professor: (speaking with the girls in their bed) It's your superpowers. I don't think you should use them in public anymore. Just give Townsville a little time to understand your specialness.

NC: We're gonna try and beat Frozen to this, but the ear worm we have is a literal ear worm. (Two images, one of a young Elsa from Frozen and the other of a Godzilla-esque monster from the TV show, are shown)

Professor: People often get scared or angry when they don't understand something special or unique.

Blossom (Catherine Cavadini): That's silly.

Professor: Well, I think so, too.

NC: Oh, and you...blew shit up! Kind of a legit reason to get mad!

(Newspapers are shown reporting the incident with the headline "Freaky Bug-Eyed Weirdo Girls Broke Everything". The next day, the girls go back to school to see that their classroom is in tatters and in the middle of construction, and Ms. Keane and the students are either uneasy or angry to see the girls)

NC (vo): The news spreads through town, and the next day, the kids are not greeted with much warmth.

Ms. Keane (Jennifer Hale): (shouting through all the construction noise) THERE WON'T BE ANY RECESS FOR A WHILE DUE TO ALL THE RECONSTRUCTION!

(A construction board falls on top of the girls' heads, as a construction worker above them yells at them)

Construction worker: Dang it! You done darn broke my board! Flangdangling consarnder!

NC: Well, that PG rating did not include Yosemite Sam language.

(The Professor is shown being confronted by the Mayor, Miss Bellum, and an angry mob, and arrested by the police, leaving the girls stranded outside the school)

NC (vo): The Professor is brought in for questioning, leaving the girls alone after school.

Blossom: (trying to reassure a crying Bubbles and an annoyed Buttercup) He probably just got held up, or maybe the car broke, or maybe he just forgot, or... (Bows her head down) ...maybe he hates us.

NC: And here I thought Ed Helms was the worse thing to happen to tag. (The poster for the 2018 film Tag is shown)

(The girls watch several TVs showing news reports and shows talking about the incident. One TV shows a reporter interviewing two rock fans whose van had crashed. An image of Ron Jeremy is shown next to the rock fan that resembles Jeremy)

NC (vo): As more news spreads about them, shocking even Mini-Ron Jeremy, the girls feel like outcasts.

(The girls' moods are crushed even further upon witnessing the negative news reports)

NC: Don't worry. The invention of social media will balance everything out.

(The girls sadly walk through the dark city, walking past all the destruction their tag game has caused)

NC (vo): There is something I like about them not using their powers to go home, realizing what it's like to be a normal person living through their destruction. (The girls are confronted in an alley by the other recurring villains from the show, the Gangrene Gang) Things get even more intense when they're stopped by a local gang.

(The gang's leader, Ace, stares at the frightened girls, looking much more threatening and imposing than he was in the show)

NC: You know, just because they got a new member doesn't mean the Gorillaz need to do crossovers.

(Jojo suddenly appears and saves the girls by knocking the gang out with a trash can lid, before retreating into a dark bag as the girls try to talk with him)

NC (vo): But they're saved by...oh, you know... (The famous scene of King Koopa saying "Monkey" from Super Mario Bros. is briefly shown) ...and they follow him to a box he lives in.

(Jojo speaks to the girls, though his eyes are only seen from inside the bag)

Jojo (Roger L. Jackson): I dare not listen, for I have been lashed by harsh tongues for too long.

(A clip from SpongeBob SquarePants episode "One Krabs Trash", showing a fish skeleton of Smitty Werben Man Jensen speaking, is shown)

Smitty: That's disgusting.

Jojo: Because you are... (Reveals himself as lightning and thunder erupt) A FREAK?!!

NC (vo): He says his name is Jojo and, like them, he's an outcast. Head's up, this is my favorite shot in the movie.

Blossom: And if you just give people time, they'll start to understand your specialness.

Buttercup: Yeah, you just gotta believe in yourself.

(As the girls speak, an evil grin slowly grows over Jojo's face, seen only by his visible eyes and mouth)

NC: (shivers uncomfortably) Not since Helena Bonham Carter has a monkey looked so creepy. (An image of Ari from 2001's Planet of the Apes is shown)

NC (vo): So funny enough, the movie goes from a snail's pace to suddenly pretty damn fast when Jojo reveals his ideas and how the girls can help.

(Jojo and the girls are shown standing next to Townsville's active volcano, while Jojo holds a device)

Jojo: Jump in, take this device I built into the volcano. (Reveals a blueprint of his plan) Using my ideas and your powers, we will build the Help-The-Town-And-Make-It-A-Better-Place Machine.

NC: Jesus! The Micro Machine guy took over as editor!

(The girls use their powers to help Jojo build a new lair and machine on the top of the active volcano)

NC (vo): They agree to help Jojo with his plan to repair the town, even though they don't understand what the machine they're making does. (Jojo and the girls visit the Townsville zoo) As a reward, he takes them to the zoo. But he seems to have other plans than just sightseeing.

(As the girls pose for a photo next to a cage full of monkeys, Jojo makes the girls move away, then uses the camera to take a picture of a monkey's butt)

NC: It's funny because butts. (Beat) I've always wanted to go to a commercial on that line.

(And indeed, we go to a commercial. When we come back, we see Jojo, while taking pictures of all the monkeys in the zoo, has actually put tracking devices on each of their butts. Bubbles notices a rattle and attempts to return it to the family that dropped it)

NC (vo): So after putting darts in all the monkeys at the zoo, Bubbles notices a baby dropped his toy.

(The woman snatches the rattle off of Bubbles' hand and walks away, ungrateful)

Woman: I thought the zoo kept all the animals in cages.

NC: (shocked beyond belief) Damn, bitch! (Beat) I don't have any other jokes, it's just...damn, bitch!

Jojo: [All of you,] deafen yourselves to their heartless words.

NC: And now it's time to play, "Dude, that's totally got another meaning."

Jojo: They are unaware that your actions will have helped change their world forever.

NC: Dude, that's totally got another meaning.

Blossom: Do you think they'll be surprised?

Jojo: Oh, yeah.

NC: Dude, that's totally got another meaning.

Buttercup: You think they'll still be mad at us for playing tag?

Jojo: No.

NC: Dude, that's totally got another meaning!

Bubbles: Will they love us?

Jojo: (pausing) Yes.

NC: Okay, well, that's more for just not telling the truth, but I am gonna play that with this clip.

Jojo: Would I lie to you?

(A shot of Dark Helmet's father disguise from Spaceballs is briefly shown. We see the girls arrive home to find the Professor being thrown back into the house by the police)

NC (vo): The cops drop the Professor back home as Jojo starts his evil plan, transporting all of the monkeys from the zoo to his lair.

(In his lair, Jojo activates his machine, transporting all of the monkeys from the zoo into all of his liquid-filled cages. Jojo then pushes a button that causes green lights to appear)

NC: (scared) Green! Nothing good in a lair is ever green!

(All of the monkeys begin getting shocked by Jojo's machine, making all their brains enlarged. One monkey is shown having sparks of electricity sparking toward its butt)

NC: (unamused) Thank you again for that, movie. (Beat) Do you want to talk about something?

(The next day, the girls wake up the Professor and begin flying to Townsville, while in the city, Jojo, wearing his villain outfit, sets loose his army of monkeys to attack the city and its citizens)

NC (vo): Their brains all seem to grow, as the next morning, both the kids and Jojo prepare for their big day. The girls think they're gonna help the town, but they accidentally caused the apocalypse. Oops.

NC: Jojo then gives the best introduction to a new name since the Artist Formally Known as Prince.

Jojo: The hobo formally known as Jojo is no mo'. From this day forward, I shall be known as...MOJO JOJO!!

NC: (chuckles) That's so funny, I totally glanced over that there's two weird focuses on butts in that shot. (One monkey is shown attacking a man; both of their butts are shown) Again, movie, you want to talk about something?

(The girls begin pleading to a stunned Professor)

Blossom: (to the Professor) Please believe us.

Professor: (bowing his head down in sadness) I don't know who to believe. (The girls gasp in shock) I thought you were good.

NC: Et tu, Professe?

(Dejected, the girls blast off into space)

Girls: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!!

(Mojo Jojo is shown announcing his intent to rule the Earth, until the ape army, now as intelligent and evil as Mojo is, begin concocting their own plans to rule and terrorize Townsville)

NC (vo): But Mojo Jojo finds out his minions want to be in charge instead of him.

(A large barrel appears and opens, and an army of gibbon monkeys appear and reveal their plot against the city in the same manner of the Barrel of Monkeys toy)

Go-Go Patrol: For we, the Go-Go Patrol, as brothers-in-arms, are linking to form a chain of command that will reach out and take hold of your world!

(We are shown a chimp with large eyes and a crazy look on its face holding a pair of cymbals, while moving sporadically like a toy. NC is freaked out at the sight of this chimp)

Cha-Ching: I, Cha-Ching Cha-Ching, cymbal-ize chaotic calamity!

(We then cut to a proboscis monkey, who is dancing with a large array of banana peels lying before him)

Hacha Chacha: My name is Hacha Chacha, and here is my schpiel...

NC: (still freaked out) I don't remember getting high, but...I'm clearly high.

(All various monkeys are each shown saying "I!" in an extremely quick fashion)

NC: Well, I think it was brave to have the makers of Dexter's Lab do the Pink Elephants scene in Tim Burton's Dumbo. (The poster of the 2019 live-action remake of Dumbo is shown) It's probably gonna be better than what we really get.

(The film cuts to several asteroids floating in a black-and-white space)

NC (vo): Meanwhile, on...Planet Artsy Cutaway...

NC: You're Powerpuff Girls, not Tree of Life!

(On one asteroid, the girls are shown moping and doping and arguing with each other)

NC (vo): ...the girls seem to sit on a...I'll just say it, I have no idea what. Maybe it's the debris of the town flown into space, maybe it's where Marvin the Martian lives, maybe it's all the sets to the Superman sequels they're never gonna make. But whatever it is, they try to figure out what to do.

(A sad Blossom silently looks upwards at Earth in the distance. Her eyes water and she collapses into her arms in silent crying)

NC: What is this? A Swedish expressionist film? Just punch shit!

(The girls hear all the chaos going on in Townsville, and it takes the yell of the Professor when Mojo grabs him for them to fly back to the city and try to save the citizens as the city is still being attacked by the monkeys)

NC (vo): But they hear the Professor cry in pain, despite the fact that he was kind of the reason they were up there to begin with, and they rush back to save him. On the way, they find they can save other people, too.

(Buttercup and Bubbles are shown saving a woman)

Buttercup: Hey, what about...?

Woman: The dog!

(A raging river is raging around the town. A sloth-like, Japanese Macaque monkey, Hota Wota, is shown pushing the Talking Dog into the river)

NC: (smiles) That's my cat's favorite scene. You should see the look on his face. (Doug's new cat, Chaplin, is briefly shown) That's the face he makes.

(After trying to save the Talking Dog dozens of times but keeping getting into danger, eventually being held hostage by a large gorilla with metal gloves, Rocko Socko, Buttercup finally loses it and punches Rocko, defeating him. This causes Blossom to realize they can use their powers to fight the monkeys)

NC (vo): But Buttercup punches one of them and they get an idea.

(Blossom kick-stomps a large monkey tank, destroying it and knocking it over. The girls stand, ready to fight, as various flying monkeys that Bubbles had just defeated as well rain down around them)

Blossom: Come on, girls! Let's put an end to this gorilla warfare!

NC: Violence! That's what'll save the day! (Beat) We had to do so many PSAs to balance this out.

NC (vo): Wait, that's not a thing when this was made?

NC: Oh, good! Just blow shit up to blow shit up.

(The girls battle against the monkeys, defeating all of them in various ways with their powers)

NC: I'll just say it. It's really weird, but really awesome to see this much animated violence in a kids' film again.

NC (vo): I don't think I've seen this much hand-drawn explosion-punching for children since G.I. Joe: The Movie.

(The girls are shown beating up all the monkeys in quick fashion. We are also shown clips of an action scene in Hot Shots: Part Deux with the two captions, "Equal to: RoboCop" and "Bloodiest movie ever". The girls are then shown confronting Mojo Jojo, who is holding the Professor hostage. Intent on "taking extreme measures", Mojo uses the machine to grow himself into a giant, and begins rampaging through the city)

NC (vo): They go to save the Professor from Mojo Jojo, but he turns himself into a giant because...eh, giants are cool.

Mojo Jojo: (wearing the top of Townsville Hall on his head and standing on top of the building) Mojo Jojo...SHALL BE KING! (Raises his fists triumphantly)

NC: Well, somebody's found a new beer label. (The image of Mojo declaring himself king is shown with the caption "Monkey Apocalypse IPA")

(The girls fight against Mojo in one final battle)

NC (vo): The girls, of course, try to stop him, leading to even more fun action.

(Mojo gains the upper hand by grabbing the girls, and climbs up a tall building while speaking to them)

Mojo: Try to destroy me?! (Shows the girls a room in the building filled with people; many of them look like animators) For them?! The ones who hated you?

NC (vo; as Mojo): The ones who are clearly artists and writers trying to get their faces in the picture?

NC: (normal) I haven't looked that up or anything, but look at them!

NC (vo): It's clearly drawn by people who have a sense of humor about how they look.

(Mojo climbs up to the top of the building while saying that the world is filled with people who hate them and they should rule together)

Mojo: Join me.

(Upon hearing those words, the girls slowly become angry, before breaking free from Mojo's grasp)

Girls: NO!!!

NC: Well, that's a shock. I really thought they were gonna join him. Do you think these are Mission: Impossible twists?

(The girls finally defeat Mojo and push him off the building, where he lands straight onto a vial that the Professor created as an antidote to Chemical X, shrinking him back down to normal size. The girls consider using the antidote themselves to get rid of their powers, until the Mayor and a mob of grateful citizens show up to apologize to the girls and thank them)

NC (vo): They defeat him, just as the Professor comes up with an antidote to shrink him down. The girls even have a chance to take away their powers, but the town wants them to keep them.

Ms. Keane: That was super!

Man: Amazing!

Woman: Fantastic!

Talking Dog: Thank you.

(Cut to a clip from Family Guy episode "Brian in Love", showing Peter and Brian sitting at a bar)

Peter: Oh, my God! You can talk!

(Brian looks at Peter silently. Back to the film, showing the ending as the girls become Townsville's newest saviors, protecting the city from all sorts of danger)

NC (vo): So the town loves them now and lets them fight evil whenever it lurks.

(The standard heart closing screen from the show comes up, and the girls appear in their formation)

Narrator: The Powerpuff Girls! Hey, that's a good name for them. I like that. Wonder if they will. I'll run it by them.

NC: (as Narrator) I mean, I was gonna go with Creepy Sperm Dolls, but I guess that works, too.

(Footage of the film plays once more as NC goes to his final thought)

NC (vo): The Powerpuff Girls Movie has a strange problem of taking itself too seriously, which is fine if you want to try something new, but it needed a more complex story with twists and emotions. When the action and comedy does get going, though, it is kind of fun. It’s not as fast or creative as the show, but the upped production value does make it nicer to look at, especially for a time period when this kind of style just wasn’t seen in movies. Nowadays, this simplistic style with fast action is all over the place, but back then, this was pretty rare. So I guess you could argue, on a technical level, it was a little ahead of its time. As a movie, though, it’s alright. I would have liked it if it was a bit more clever in its writing, but it still felt big enough to be more than just an extended episode. Fly on in and check it out for yourself.

NC: I mean... (Sighs) ...it's gotta be better than next week's movie. (A T-Rex roar is heard, but NC doesn't show enthusiasm) What are your thoughts on that, Chaplin? (Doug's cat, Chaplin, is shown again) I think that face says it all.

(The credits roll, followed by the Channel Awesome logo)