The Plot to Frozen 2

The Plot to Frozen 2
Released	March 24, 2015
Running Time	7:21
Previous Review	Daredevil
Next Review	Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
Link	http://channelawesome.com/nostalgia-critic-the-plot-to-frozen-2/

(The shortened opening)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. When you are a celebrity as (chuckling) incredibly famous as I am, you tend to be given a few privileges. With that said, I'm sure a lot of you heard the announcement about Frozen 2.

(Cut to a montage of clips from Frozen)

NC (vo): The little movie that could continues to be movie that couldn't go away and, big shock, Disney decided to do a sequel of the highest-grossing animated film of all time. That being...

(The opening title sequence of the film is shown)

NC (vo): Frozen. I'm... sure you put that together.

(Cut back to the clip montage)

NC (vo): But what people don't know is that the plot is already written. Now, I'm sure a lot of you think that scripts go through rewrites and revisions and all that nonsense. But nope! It's written once and then never touched again.

NC: You want the proof? I actually have the plot (takes up a binder with the words "The Plot" on it) to Frozen 2!

(Hallelujah Choir sings in the background as the binder is shown in close-up)

NC: That's right, I know every single SOLITARY thing that is gonna happen in one of the BIGGEST sequels of all time! And I'm gonna ruin it for ALL of you today! Why? Because I'm an asshole! Let's take a gander.

(After NC opens up the binder and looks in it, we are shown the title of the movie again, but this time serving as a title card "The Plot to Frozen 2". Throughout this video, the various clips from Frozen are shown to match what NC will say)

NC (vo): Everything is grand in the land of Arendelle. Elsa is still queen, Anna is still princess, and Kristoff files for unemployment, because...well, there's still no need for ice, so he's pretty useless. But things suddenly take a horrible turn when they discover terrible news...Elsa's parents have returned home. That's right, they faked their own deaths. They explain that Elsa's powers, mixed with her emotional turmoil, was too much for them to handle. And knowing that her transformation from girlhood to adulthood would (chuckles) probably involve some of the emotional moments, they figured their land was duped. So they sailed to Fiji...

(A picture of people clinking their pints is shown)

NC (vo): ...had a nice cold pint...

(The clip from Shaun of the Dead is shown, showing the titular character sitting in the pub with his gang, drinking beer and winking to the camera)

NC (vo): ...and waited for this all to blow over.

(Back to Frozen clips)

NC (vo): When asked why they did so, they said, "Let's face it: dodging responsibilities is kind of our thing. We solved the problem of a cursed child by sending her to her room. Pretty lazy, but whatcha know?" But when they notice the kingdom hadn't quite blown up, it just went through a cold spell, they decided to return home and demand it back. As you can imagine, Elsa is pretty pissed and isn't willing to hand over her kingdom. Luckily, though, her government has been funding the development and experimentation of bringing conscious life to unanimated snow. True, this was controversial, and the church didn't support the creation of life from nothing, but there were also the people that told her to take her gloves off at the coronation, so fuck those guys.

(The screenshot and the poster for the short Frozen Fever are shown)

NC (vo): She literally sneezes out a snowman army... I guess this was a holdover from a recent short...

(We go back to the clips montage)

NC (vo): ...and marches them to defend her kingdom. But she forgot her parents had a long relationship with the rock trolls, who are not happy that their adopted son (Kristoff) has yet to marry royalty.

(The pictures of Aladdin and Jasmine and Snow White and Prince Charming are shown)

NC (vo): In the past, it usually takes about three days, but he's waited way too long now. And it's time for them to take the throne by whatever means necessary. When Kristoff tries to talk them down, they admit they were mostly just using him for the ice, which, as stated before, makes him pretty useless. Rocks, of course, are harder than snow, so Anna summons help from one of her new friends, Rapunzel.

(The mentioned character's cameo in Frozen is shown briefly)

NC (vo): Rapunzel has an army, led by her horse (Maximus), who sends several divisions out to help Elsa. But the rock trolls disguise themselves as...well, rocks...and ambush them. They then convince the horse that he is a rock troll, because, if you remember, they can wipe anybody's mind and make them think whatever they want. This is especially tough for Sven, who is revealed in the movie to be the horse's half-brother. Apparently, (pictures of...) Bambi's mother and Philippe had a thing. This leads to Elsa feeling incredibly guilty and singing her big musical number. This is going to be a counterpart to "Let It Go" entitled..."Keep It In".

NC: This is a song that teaches kids that if there's something you really, really want to do, say...play the soundtrack to a movie over and over, driving your parents absolutely insane, you should probably just keep it in and only hum the song in your head. (Beat) It's not even really a song, it's just that exact sentence with some musical accompaniment. The kids will be confused, but the parents will be thankful.