|
The Man Who Fell to Earth
| |
|
| |
|
Date Aired
|
July 16, 2011
|
|
Running Time
|
20:53
|
|
Show
|
|
|
Link
|
|
[The intro to Brows Held High, only with the guitar from "Space Oddity". We see the cover of David Bowie: Loving the Alien, a biography by.Christopher Sandford. The book slowly lowers to reveal Oancitizen, his face illuminated by a rose-colored light.]
Oancitizen:David Bowie made a film
David Bowie made a film
About a spaceman whose whole life has gone downhill
David Bowie was the star
[A countdown from 10 is heard in the background]
Rip Torn was in it, so was Candy Clark
The Criterion Collection sells it now
Oancitizen (speaking really fast): Released in 1976, under the direction of Nicolas Roeg, director of Walkabout, Performance and Don't Look Now! David Bowie's cinematic debut...
[DVD box for The Man Who Fell To Earth]
Oancitizen:It was called The Man Who Fell To Earth
It doesn't make much sense
[scenes from the movie]
There's some 70s' style trip-out scenes scenes, and there
Are some holes throughout the plot, but I declare
[title card for the movie]
I could like The Man Who Fell To Earth
It's tragic as it's strange
Science fiction's rarely filmed in quite this way
It's more than green men from outside the Milky Way
[Bowie close-up, then him in front of a mirror]
'Cause here is a movie with a message
Sorry that it's there?
But it has some nudes, so if that does it for you
[Kyle does air guitar. Then as scenes of an explosion in the sky appear, the music changes to "Ziggy Stardust", showing a meteor falling into a lake. The songs are now mostly sung along with scenes from the movie]
Bowie lands on Earth, crashing in a mountain lakeside
And he walks down a hill
Towards Haneyville
Almost hit by a car,
He does things on the wing
He goes to pawn a ring
"Thomas Jerome Newton" [image of the Fringe character with that name]
Is the name that he calls himself
Passport's made in Great Britain
But we know that he's from space; I mean, just look at that face!
[music ends as Bowie\Newton meets patent attorney Oliver Farnsworth. Then starts the guitar intro to "Fame"...
Newton: I want a lawyer who is well-versed in [British pronunciation] patents. [Corrects to American pronunciation.] Patents.
Oliver: That's me.
Oliver: I don't believe it. I can't believe it. You have nine basic patents here. Nine!
Newton: In say three years, what would this be worth to me?
Oliver: I'm a lawyer, not an accountant, Mr.Newton. But I'd say it must be somewhere in the area of...three hundred million dollars?
Newton: Not more?
Oliver: More?
Newton: I need more.
Oliver: What the hell for?!]
Kyle:Fame!
Comes with wealth, which comes with patents
Fame!
Gets you fans on a college campus [Hi, Rip Torn!]
Fame!
Rip Torn sleeps with all his students
Shame!
[sex scene, with the text, "...I'm so sorry"]
Shame!
It racks you brain, to see his vein, in the hands of naked co-eds, it's
Shame…ful
[Woman talks into Rip's censored-with-a-rooster “Yeah, you're not at all like my father”...]
Kyle (looking as if he's coming down with a migraine): Pain...
[Rip Torn's Dr. Nathan Bryce argues with his boss, Professor Canutti.
Bryce: What they need is some real stimulus, some ideas to pursue.
Canutti: Well, we've had enough of your "pursuits".
Canutti: While you're at it, why don't you go get a job with that great company of yours?
Bryce (walking out): I believe I will!
[In another scene, Newton's Cadillac stops at a hotel]
Newton (to the receptionist): Sussex, I have a reservation.
He rushes to the closing elevator where a female bellhop, Mary-Lou, has taken his bags.
Newton: No, I'll take that.
Mary-Lou: It's five flights.
As the elevator starts to go up, Newton faints.
Mary-Lou: Are you all right?
Mary-Lou bodily carries the unconscious Newton to his hotel room as "As the World Falls Down" starts.]
He meets a young girl
When he passed out
Her name is Mary-Lou
Offers him gin
And she's a girl
And your love interest
'Cause she's a… girl
Kyle (speaking): Only female character in the film, mind you
Brings him a TV
Offers him wine
He watches six screens
This image might work in all the ads
This is the image used in the ads
(shows two posters with Bowie sitting in front of a wall of TVs. Caption: "The international ones, at least...")
Now she's Bowie's girl,
Rip Torn works for the World
Enterprise Corporation, while Bowie's got it all
He's becoming more human
And he sings a song
[Bowie struggles to sing "Jerusalem" in a church. A baffled Kyle then starts "The Man Who Sold The World"]
He cannot sing a note
Funny injoke, that
He rides back to Haneyville
Begins to see some sand
And much to his surprise [Flashback]
Saran-wrapped transvestites
With plastic tubing
Oh, they all must be his folks
Oh no
Now he's
Begun to lose control
He's face
To face
With the men from his old world?
[Mary-Lou says "Tommy? Tommy?" as Newton doesn't react. Sound cue: The Who's "Tommy Can You Hear Me"...]
Tommy, can you hear me
Can you feel me near you
Kyle: Tom-- [music stops] Scratch that.
["Suffragette City" plays along sex scenes covered by censor bar reading "Nekkid"]
Now he's
Got a girl and a place
Now he's
Ready to go back to space
Now he's
Got Rip Torn by his side
They're gonna build a rocket ship to serve as his ride
But he's
Watching too much TV
But he's
Drinking too much GT
But he's
Hearing voices all round
His media saturation's getting,
It's getting,
Oh, his brain's getting fried
He's succumbing to his vices
From here his life becomes shitty
See his eyes getting wide
He's surrounded by devices
That make his life become shitty
It's not right
It's quite a sight
[Newton cowers in chair as TVs play stock footage all around him. He screams "Get out of my mind, all of you!"]
Kyle (speaking): Oh... well, this was adapted from a novel, but still, the similarities... oh, I need a chorus for this one! Hey, Alison (Obscurus Lupa shows up), Justin (JewWario), Lindsay (Lindsay Ellis), Todd (ToddInTheShadows)... any of you guys wanna sing "Magic Dance"?
JewWario: Yes!
Todd: Yeah! Yay!
Lindsay: Yes! Cool! Awesome! Spectacular!
[As Magic Dance plays]
Kyle: He reminds me of the song
Lindsey: What song?
Kyle: The song from the album
Todd: What album?
Kyle: The one about Stardust
Lupa: Who dust?
Kyle: He does
Jewario: Does what?
Kyle: Remind me of the song
(Lupa and Jew Wario laugh)
Kyle: Quiet! [speaking] Now, hear me out: it's not much of a stretch that the director adapted the story to fit David Bowie's stage persona! Well?
[Kyle, Lupa, Todd and Lindsay laughing]
Lindsey: I don't get it...
Kyle: Now Ziggy Stardust
Was an alien on Earth
And he was doomed
[images of Bowie as Ziggy Stardust on stage]
To fall to human vice
And leave his people and leave his people blue
Director knew!
Kyle: Nicolas Roeg must have known about this!
Lupa: Man from space!
Todd: This is a case...
Jew Wario (dressed as Jareth from Labyrinth): Of casting your actor...
Kyle: Based on his works!
All: Cast gimmick cast!
Cast gimmick cast!
Cast gimmick cast!
Cast gimmick cast!
Lupa: Spaceman rock star, don't you see?
[The four dance]
All: Lift, movie lift
Lift, movie lift
Lift, movie lift
Lift, movie lift
Lindsay and Lupa: Lift your themes and just copy
Jarwario: A song from David Bowie
Kyle (speaking): It's obvious, right? I mean, it's not like the movie suffers for it, but it's worth pointing out.
[Back to the film, Rip Torn putting a camera behind the air conditioner as "Life on Mars" begins]
Kyle: Rip Torn sets up a homemade bug
While Bowie gives his GT a chug
Rip Torn takes his new photo home
Bowie's getting a badly drawn glow
Back at home, Bowie's being mean
While Mary Lou wants to make him cream
He throws cookies into the air
Cut to alien spinning scene
But he can't hide it anymore
As she's banging upon the door
And he opens the door for her
And then Mary Lou looks at his
Strange eyes
Underneath his bald head
Oh man
Pisses herself in fright [censored with a Wiimote]
Didn't she see the title? [cut to title card]
And then we're shown an ab-
-normal
Interspecies sex scene
Oh man
How can she be this dumb?
Of course we all saw this coming
He's a man from Maaaaaars--ACK! (spoken in disgust) Goddamn, that's high!
[flashback played with "Starman"]
Then we explain what Thomas 'N's about
His homeworld's under a nasty drought
That's why his family's wearing
White jumpsuits
Keeps the water in
Planet Earth has lots of water
And so his children expect their father
To go to Terra and bring back some Evian [said as he opens and drinks a water bottle'
Kyle: (Speaking) Again, Ziggy Stardust.
He's a starman, come down from the sky
We've known that from the start, but now we have a reason why
He's a starman, come down for a drink
Rip Torn seems fairly mellow
Mary Lou could use a shrink
And he tells her
"Get the children water
Bring the planet water
Before the children shrivel up."
["Changes" plays as a spaceship is shown, along with a reporter saying "This is a unique moment in the history of space exploration. Never before has one man planned to travel single-handed..."]
Now the rocket's going to launch tonight
And the astronaut Jim Lovell has a cameo here
Media frenzy around the pad
But things won't go so sweet
Cause the lawyer's been in debt now
And Rip Torn's talked to the feds
So his convoy's stopped by police
The men in black have found him out
In-ca-ca-cerated!
Captured by the feds
In-ca-cerated!
His lawyer reenacts Watchmen [shown as the lawyer jumps out of a window]
In-ca-ca-cerated!
Locked inside a suite
In-ca-cerated!
His wife can visit, but he's still a prisoner
She may come in
But he can't get out
[Thomas puts a gun on his mouth.]
Mary-Lou: Mmmm! Bad boy!
Thomas approaches.
Thomas (approaching Mary-Lou): Do you know what I think?
Mary-Lou: What?
Thomas: I think you know you know too much about me. I can kill you right here on this bed. And then they'd take your body away, and then I'd have them send up another girl. Sleep well!
Mary-Lou: No! No!
[He fires as she screams. "Let's Dance" plays along with scenes of gunshots and sex intercut.]
Mary-Lou Won't they come in? The noise!
[Cut to Kyle, clearly baffled.]
Kyle: GUN SEX!
They both start necking while firing blanks
GUN SEX
And the song they play is--ugh!--"Hello, Mary Lou"
GUN SEX
Uh, Jesus Christ, I can't even tell,
I can't even tell what
THE HECK
This is meant to even symbolize
[later scene, along with the intro to "Ashes to Ashes". Thomas: I've proved everything I'm gonna prove. I've gone as far as I'm going. Mary Lou: I don't love you anymore.]
But Mary Lou, she won't stay with him
Because the love is gone
His contact lenses are burnt into his head
Oh no, he's forever human
And both his old friends are together now
[Kyle shown side-by-side with himself]
Rip's happy
Candy's happy too
They've aged quite a bit
Rip Torn wears a Santa suit
The government just lets him go one day
They've all the info they need from him
And he still has money, and he still has booze
So now Bowie's stuck on this planet alone(lone, lone, lone, lone)
Ashes to ashes
Funk to funkered
Now our Mister Tom's a drunkard
Strung out on G&T
Hitting an all-time low...
[Newton wearing sunglasses and drinking. Newton: I may not see so well anymore, still have money. He drops his glass. A waiter picks it up. Waiter: Ah, I think maybe Mr. Newton has had enough, don't you? Bryce: I think maybe he has.]
[Film ends. Cut to Kyle in a dark background, as "Heroes" plays.]
That
And that was the film
And I think that
You should see the film
At times
At times, it can't hold together
But it's weird
And dazzling, and certainly clever
It's all pure Bowie
Summed up in one film
It
It has great pathos
(really great pathos)
Despite
Being slightly camp
(slightly camp)
And the gun [scene of the GUN SEX! scene]
The gun scene was silly
(gun scene was silly)
I'd explain it
But I really just can't
(really just can't)
But still
Bowie sure can hold a screen
He's weird
But dazzling, and certainly clever
It's all pure Bowie
Summed up in one film
It's all pure Bowie
(Speaking: This was really hard to do.)
It's all pure Bowie
It's all pure Bowie
[Credits, to the sound of Flight of the Conchords's "Bowie's In Space". A card thanks Allison "China Girl" Pregler, Todd "Spider From Mars" Nathanson, Justin "God-Given Ass" Carmichael and Lindsay "Mellow-Thighed Chick" Ellis]
Kyle, quoting from Labyrinth: What's said is said. Go back to your room and play with your toys and your costumes.