The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Aired	July 10, 2018
Running Time	26:28
Previous Review	The Evolution of the Purge Movies
Next Review	TBA
Link	http://channelawesome.com/the-league-of-extraordinary-gentlemen-nostalgia-critic/

(The Channel Awesome logo is displayed, then cold-open on a shot of a building, before cutting to inside, where a man played by Malcolm is sitting at a desk; "The Blue Danube" plays in the background)

Voice on phone (Rob): (with every "s" sound pronounced "sh") Sham, Sham, I know you're bummed I took the Highlander 2 role.

Sham: Mr. Connery, you're one of the biggest stars in the world. You can make a few mistakes every once in a while. Your friend Michael Crichton already sent me a bounce-back script; it's called Jurassic Park. You're the guy who owns the park.

Sean: That sounds too small. I want a ridiculous amount of money for it.

Sham: Well, Sean, if you're not willing to take a slightly smaller role, you may want to consider retiring.

Sean: Bullshite! I'm as snappy as my leotard in Zardoz! If the people want giant lizards, I got a role for them: a giant flying one in Dragonheart.

Sham: I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous.

Sean: Sham, Sham, you're a good boy and I don't like you, but you're a dumbass. Sign me up for Dragonheart! (Sham shrugs)

(A caption is shown: "Several Years Later...". Cut back to Sham in his office, looking displeased and holding a Dragonheart DVD)

Sean: Sham. Sham. That might not have been the best choice.

Sham: Oh, you know when you're...

Sean: Shut up. I have a role that's foolproof enough: The Avengers.

Sham: Eh, that's perfect. I hear Marvel has some major plans for movies...

Sean: Not that comic book crap! The 60s TV show no kid knows about!

Sham: I don't know, Sean. I got a script here called The Matrix. You play a mentor named Morpheus that's supposed to be really cutting edge.

Sean: Morpheus. That's what I named my leotard in Zardoz!

Sham: Must you always reference that?

Sean: Yes. Please don't let me do this crap. (Sham throws his hands in disappointment) Sign me up for The Aven-

(A caption "Several Years Later..." is shown again. Sham is staring at The Avengers DVD)

Sean: Sham, Sham. Sham. Sham, Sham. Sham. Sham.

Sham: (sighing) Yes?

Sean: Avengers didn't work out.

Sham: I kind of figured.

Sean: But this one is a surefire hit! I'd bet my career on it! It's called "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen"!

Sham: (puts the DVD away) Okay. Look, Sean, I'll level with you. (takes a binder) I have a script here for Lord of the Rings, one of the most famous books ever written. You're filming three movies all at the same time, something never done before in cinema. And they're offering you a role of Gandalf. You have to be an idiot, nay, absolutely insane to turn down a surefire blockbuster series like this.

Sean: (after a beat) Sign me up for The League of Extraordinary-

(Sham puts his hands to his temples in frustration. After another "Several Years Later..." caption, Sham is shown with his head laying on the table while The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen's Blu-ray stands close to the camera)

Sean: I think I should retire.

Sham: I think you're an idiot.

(Cue the intro...before abruptly cutting back to Sham)

Sean: Did you keep the same haircut all these years?

(Sham touches his hair in confusion. The full intro plays out before fading to NC at his desk)