The Grinch (2018)

The Grinch (2018)
Release Date	December 4, 2019
Running Time	33:26
Previous Review	Did Joker Imagine Batman?
Next Review	The Most INSANE Christmas Rom Com
Link	http://channelawesome.com/the-grinch-2018-nostalgia-critic/

(The Channel Awesome logo and NC title sequence play)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. Say! (picks up and looks at his cell phone) It's December! (chuckles) Well, I suppose I should change into my Christmas clothes, not that Christmas is a big deal around here. HA-HA!

(He stands up and throws his arms out. In a dramatic fashion, his jacket turns into his Christmas jacket from last year, in the style of Sailor Moon's transformation. After his Christmas jacket appears on him, he salutes dramatically)

NC: Now I'm ready for Christmas!

Malcolm: (offscreen) Um, Critic?

(NC looks toward who said that: it's Malcolm and Tamara. They are standing in the doorway, looking visibly disturbed. Malcolm points down to NC's lower half, trying to get his attention. NC looks down at where Malcolm is pointing. It seems as though the transformation had turned out too much like Sailor Moon's transformation, as he is now wearing a blue skirt instead of pants)

NC: (looking up) I know. It's intentional. I wanted to see if a more breezy Christmas was what I was looking for, as...some girls choose to fight crime in this.

Tamara: Naturally...

NC: Naturally. But I feel I don't have the, um...calves for this, so I will...alter this outfit.

Malcolm: It was a good try.

NC: (pointing to them) Yeah, you get it. You get it.

(Again, he raises his hand in the air and another transformation takes place. Malcolm and Tamara are surprised)

Tamara: Critic?

NC: (now wearing a shorter blue skirt, waving dismissively) It's fine, it's fine. I want this. I totally want this.

Malcolm: Even though you just said it didn't work.

NC: I said that because I needed more leg to balance out the size of the calves.

Malcolm: (nods, not entirely convinced) Mm-hmm, balance out.

NC: Yes, it's freeing. (whispering) It's very freeing.

Tamara: (she and Malcolm shake their head) It doesn't look freeing.

NC: I feel alive. Very alive.

Tamara: You look dead. Very dead.

NC: (whispering) Leave.

Malcolm: Both inside and outside, dead.

NC: (whispering) Leave.

Tamara: (NC is still whispering "Leave") We're gonna go get some boots to balance out this whole situation.

NC: (whispering) Leave.

Malcolm: (NC is still whispering "Leave") I'd get you some meatballs for your hair, but then you'd just look silly.

NC: (still whispering) Leeeeeeeave.

(Malcolm and Tamara finally take the hint and leave)

NC: (turning back to the camera) Somehow, this connects to The Grinch.

(The opening title for the 2018 adaptation is shown, followed by a shot of the Grinch here)

NC (vo): Because people couldn't get enough of...

(Cut to footage of the earlier How the Grinch Stole Christmas; namely, the more notorious aspects of that movie: the Grinch's schoolteacher laughing with the rest of the class at his poorly-shaved face; the Grinch's face buried in Martha May Whovier's breasts; the Grinch putting his dog Max's butt in Mayor Augustus May Who's face, causing him to kiss Max's butt, much to Max's wide-eyed shock)

NC (vo): ...nightmare face fuels, awkward motorboating, and dogs' asses being kissed...

(Poster of Bad Santa appears in the corner)

NC: (shaking head) No, no, no. This (Poster for the earlier Grinch movie replaces the Bad Santa one) family classic, obviously!

(More footage of the newer Grinch movie is shown)

NC (vo): Universal decided to give us another cinematic version of The Grinch, this time with the help of Illumination Entertainment. I mean, after they handled perfectly...

(Cut to footage of The Lorax)

NC (vo): ...the haunting nature of the timeless Lorax...

(A clip of the movie is shown, showing the Once-ler singing "This Is My Place" and playing it on a guitar)

Once-ler: Gonna chop one down and make my thneed!

(As we cut back to NC briefly, an image of a tombstone with Dr. Seuss' name on it appears in the corner, accompanied by the sound of ground shaking)

NC: (gesturing toward tombstone with thumb) Oh, there he goes, rolling again!