(The Disneycember logo is shown, before showing clips from The Gnome-Mobile)
Doug (vo): Hell, yeah, I'm talking about a movie you've never heard of. The Gnome-Mobile was released in 1967. I saw it when I was a little kid on the Disney Channel, I absolutely loved it, and watching as an adult...yeah, it's pretty bad. But once again, it's a fun kind of bad, a bad that you gotta see, because it is just so unique how the hell they came up with so many strange ideas and strange ways of conveying them.
Story[]
Doug (vo): The film stars a man named D.J. Mulrooney. He's an executive at a timber trading company, but this week, he's off work to hang out with his grandchildren, the Mary Poppins kids (Elizabeth and Rodney Winthop). You think that's name dropping? Well, that's exactly what the movie calls them, the Mary Poppins kids. That's just so hilarious, how would you love to be branded with that in the credits? Yeah, you're not gonna be typecast at all. While taking a picnic through the woods, they discover two gnomes, Jasper and Knobby. Aren't those great names? Knobby is upset because the giant redwood seems to be disappearing, and...well, one of the characters knows the reason behind that. Feeling guilty, Mulrooney says he can take the gnomes to a place where there's a lot more giant redwood, and on top of that, probably a lot more gnomes because there's not many left in their forest. Along the way, though, a schemer named Horatio Quaxton...isn't that another great name?...discovers the gnomes and kidnaps them, while Mulrooney, who, for a good chunk of the movie, was trying to keep the gnomes a secret, suddenly tells his work that the gnomes have been kidnapped and they need to save them. Well, you can guess what happens to him. He's put away in a mental institution, and who can blame them? God, he should be put away just for being so stupid! As you'd imagine, the kids have to help him escape, they have to save the gnomes, and eventually, get to the giant redwood where maybe, just maybe, there might be some other gnomes, and, yes, maybe one of them is played by Ed Wynn.
Review[]
Doug (vo): So this movie was directed by the same guy who directed such big classics like Mary Poppins and Bedknobs and Broomsticks, just all sorts of great movies. While this does have kind of a similar feel, it doesn't have the same magic, and I think a lot of it is just on the writing level. Some of the choices made in this movie are so bizarre.
(Footage focusing on the climax is shown)
Doug (vo): The climax, I have to explain to you. They finally get to the forest and find all these other gnomes, but Jasper is bummed because there aren't any girl gnomes. Well, no, it turns out there's a ton of them, and quite frankly, I don't know, where they decide they're gonna do this tradition where they take Jasper, lather him up in bubbles and soap, and let all the girls chase and grab him. The one that holds on to him for seven seconds gets to be with him for the rest of his life. Somebody was clearly working through something while writing this. He just kind of gets there and he's like, "Oh, kinda thought there would be some chicks around here". And then, all these women come out and he finds one he likes, but before he can even start a conversation, it's like, "Nope, we have to decide who's gonna live with you forever!" It is just beyond bizarre.
(Footage focusing on the actors and their performances is shown)
Doug (vo): Part of what makes the movie so fascinating, though, is the acting. Again, this is the guy who did Mary Poppins and Bedknobs and Broomsticks, so he's pretty good at getting good performances against stuff that is laughably ridiculous. This little girl should have gotten an Oscar for this scene where she says she sees a gnome, and now, she can't find him and she is just heartbroken that nobody believes her. Look at how much she's giving in this moment!
Elizabeth: Jasper! Jasper! (starts crying)
D.J. Mulrooney: Now you must be really hungry right now.
Elizabeth: (crying) But he was right there! He was right there!
Doug (vo): Jesus Christ, she's making me believe in goddamn gnomes!
(Footage focusing on D.J. Mulrooney and Knobby is shown)
Doug (vo): I was really shocked to find years later that the actor that played D.J. Mulrooney (Walter Brennan) is also the same one who played the old gnome, Knobby. They are such wildly different performances, I never would have been able to tell.
D.J. Mulrooney: Calm down now and listen a minute...
Knobby: Oh, no, you don't, Mulrooney, I fell for that line before!
D.J. Mulrooney: I'm a little different from a lot of other lumbermen!
Knobby: You can say that again!
Doug (vo): I don't know what made somebody say, "Hey, I have an idea, let's have this guy play both parts", but it is strangely intriguing to watch such two different performances.
(Footage focusing on the special effects is shown)
Doug (vo): The effects, for the most part, are also pretty good. Again, they had to build a lot of these giant sets and they're mixing a lot of different types of effects here with green screen and force perspective and big sets, little sets. Yes, sometimes, it's obvious, I mean, it's not really Darby O'Gill. I mean, that was something that was really kind of a landmark for effects, and this one's just decent. But still, you feel the craftsmanship in every one.
(Footage focusing on the comedy is shown)
Doug (vo): The comedy isn't great, but it's so light and so putting its all into it, it's kind of hard not to shrug along with it. The worst part is when they put him in the mental hospital, because it slows everything down. It's not needed, there's nothing imaginative about it, and you're just shouting at the character, "What's wrong with you? Of course this is what's gonna happen if you tell somebody this."
(Various footage is shown, primarily focusing on the song sequence)
Doug (vo): Everything else, while not good, is entertaining. There's even a little song they sing in the middle, and, yeah, you guessed it. It's called "The Gnome-Mobile", and it'll stay in your head for a fair amount of time.
D.J. Mulrooney, Elizabeth and Rodney: (singing) The Gnome-Mobile, the Gnome-Mobile, we're riding gnomes in the Gnome-Mobile
Doug (vo): And there's no other songs in the movie, this is the only one they sing over and over.
Final thought[]
Doug (vo): I guess you can say this isn't a fully fleshed out idea, but what they did flesh out is just so strangely delivered, you can't look away from it. As of now, it's not a film that's on Disney+, you can probably find it on Amazon or DVD or something. And it's by no means a Disney classic, again, I don't even really consider it that good. But if you're someone that just likes these weird movies that are just doing weird things that at the time, I guess were seen as kind of normal, it's fun to jump into. It's just one of those movies I want to give more attention to, because there just should be attention on something this strange. Not a good film, but good enough for weirdos like me.
(A scene showing the Gnome-Mobile driving through the woods is shown)