(The shortened opening)
Nostalgia Critic: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. And welcome to WTR, a.k.a... Was That Real?
(It cuts to the title card of WTR, where the title of the segment is shown with tuning table as the background. The YouTube Audio Library track "Morning Walk" by Jingle Punks serves as the BGM for this intro)
NC: This is a new segment where we look at nostalgic TV shows that, by all sense of taste, probably shouldn't have existed.
(Cuts to clips from shows like "Small Wonder", "Dumb and Dumber, "Count Duckula", "Dog City", and "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective")
NC (vo): There are strange, silly, oddball ideas that you would never believe could fill an entire season, let alone 24 minutes. But they did, and we're going to look at whether or not they were worth our time then and worth our time now.
NC: With that said...I have a little bit of a confession to make. Um... How did you come across "Star Wars"?
(a poster of "A New Hope" is shown)
NC (vo): If you're like most people, you've found out from a friend, a family member, or even a constant exposure from popular media.
NC: But, (sighs) that's not how I came across "Star Wars". I came across "Star Wars" because I saw it had Ewoks in it.
(we see a picture from "The Return of the Jedi", showing Princess Leia meeting Wicket the Ewok)
NC (vo): And I knew it had Ewoks in it because I saw the spin-off movies. And I saw the spin-off movies because I played with the toys. And I played with the toys...
NC: ...because I watched "Ewoks: The Cartoon".
(the title of said series is shown, and then the clips)
NC (vo): Yep. Not even kidding, this was my introduction to "Star Wars". It's about as backwards as you could possibly get. I had no idea who Luke Skywalker, Han Solo or Darth Vader were, but I can tell you with my proud five-year-old dignity who Wicket, Teebo and Latara were. A lot of Star Wars fans are familiar with the cartoon Droids, the spin-off show with C-3PO and R2-D2, but very few people talked about this one because, fuck it, it's Ewoks! Who the nerf-herder balls likes Ewoks? Well, kids did, seeing how it actually ran longer than Droids by at least another season. So, even though Droids has more of a following, Ewoks is the one that actually lasted longer. Running from 1985 to 1986, Ewoks chronicle the adventures of...
NC: Well, I guess the term now is "Younglings".
NC (vo): In all the trouble and mayhem they get into, coming across various monsters and creatures. Its main character is Wicket, as seen from Return of the Jedi. He dreams of becoming a warrior and shouting weird catchphrases like "Dengar".
Wicket: Dengar! (x3)
NC: Yeah, I'm sure that'll catch on as well as this.
Jar Jar Binks: How wude!
NC (vo): He has a friend who's a girl, so naturally, being an 80's cartoon, she must be a-- (Princess) Oh, the options back then.
Princess Kneesa: If you help others, they'll help you someday.
NC (vo): To be fair, though, there is another girl character named Latara who has a pretty defined character of being self-centered, but cynically enjoyable.
Latara: Ooh. Now this is valuable.
NC (vo): And, of course, Teebo, a bumbling klutz who wants to be a great wizard.
Teebo: My mom will ground me for a week!
NC (vo): How, you may ask? By using the all-powerful Sunstar, an ancient device of...ancientness that does all sorts of great magical stuff if used right. And when I say "used right", I mean basically just pointing it.
NC: But pointing it really passionately! We're using Harry Potter logic here.
NC (vo): The conflict of the show mostly comes from various villains and...Grinch snot hair trying to capture the Sunstar and use its power for their own evil ways.
Chief Chirpa: Thank the Light Spirit, Logray keeps the powerful Sunstar.
NC (vo): Now they say the series is supposed to take place before the Star Wars Trilogy. In fact, the last episode may be the only glimpse we have of anything traditionally Star Wars. The Empire is following the theories of a guy named Doctor Raegar who believes the Sunstar can be used as a weapon.
Doctor Raegar: The Emperor himself has approved my expedition.
NC (vo): The idea of the Empire actually dedicating a mission to hunt Ewoks just makes me laugh. But then again, it's no different from them taking the time to shut a cantina down.
Ackmena (Bea Arthur): The Empire has closed us down!
NC (vo): It's weird to think this is where the Empire discovered their location to build their second Death Star. They were probably just like "Sheesh, look at these annoying embarrassments! Nobody would ever want to come out here! Let's set up our camp for destruction"!
NC: With that said, there are a few things to take into account with this being in the Star Wars universe. First of all, magic exists here!
NC (vo): Yeah, not the Force, magic. They verbally clarify it as that.
Wicket: Use your magic to get us out of here!
NC (vo): Now, you can technically make the argument that maybe what they call magic, the rest of the universe calls the Force. But if that's so, the Ewoks can fucking use the Force?!? I mean, I guess it's open to anyone.
NC: (rubs his forehead with his middle finger) You know, given the Midi-chlorian count.
NC: But doesn't it still seem kind of strange? What took Luke so long to control and figure out is being fucking mastered by chewed up Care Bears? In fact, with all the talk of the Sunstar being so powerful, why didn't the Ewoks just use that to destroy the Empire in the first place? (A scene is edited to have Kneesa use the Sunstar to destroy the Empire's satellite dish) There's other strange little additions one wouldn't usually connect to this universe. For example, you want to know Wicket's full name? Yeah, Wicket actually has a full name. The show reveals it as "Wicket Wystri Warrick." Okay, ignoring the fact that it's kinda cool that he's named after the actor who played him in the movies, Warwick Davis...
NC: Am I the only one who finds it bizarre that Ewoks have full names? Let alone middle names?
NC (vo): Were there really just too many Wickets or Teebos or... Block-blars--whatever name you wanna make up? We really needed last and middle names to make things easier?
NC: Until I find out this civilization has a postal service, I'm not seeing the reason.
NC (vo): You'll also notice the show gets a little bit of re-tooling in between seasons. A lot of voice actors, storylines and even designs were changed. More color and creativity was given to both the Ewoks and the other characters that inhabited the universe, making the series look less like it was shot on the side of a flaming shitbag. Most of the animation is pretty decent, but every once in a while, you get some of that 80's children show laziness. For example, look at this guy with the Empire. He's supposed to be human but he looks like Ron Perlman from Beauty and the Beast. There's another scene where the Ewoks are supposed to dress up like robot,s and... (chuckles at the sight of Teebo's disguise) Oh, my God! These fuckers knew exactly what they were doing. You could just change Teebo's name to Dildo after seeing that.
Wicket: How did I ever fall for this guy's scheme?
NC (vo): Look, they even got legendary Batman storyteller Paul Dini as one of the writers.
NC: Oh, boy! What epic issue are we gonna tackle in this episode?
Wicket: Mom, I took the woklings to the Hut of Horrors instead of the Tumble Bunnies show.
NC (vo): Yeah, this kinda gets down to the essence of the show and why it existed, and that is...it was obviously meant for little kids. As such, both the writing and style of the show pretty much reflect that.
NC: And as a show for little kids goes, it's...harmless.
NC (vo): I know a lot of people laugh that this show even exists, but honestly, for what is does, it does it fine. The animation is decent, it has a lot of imagination to it, it's a totally serviceable product. I don't know if I recommend it to adults or older children unless you just want to see it for curiosity's sake. But for younger audiences, it's not bad. A part of me almost wishes I could hate it more as they (picture of Jar Jar) used to be the weakest part of the Star Wars movies. But there's nothing wrong with it for what it is. It's a cute spin-off that probably didn't need to exist, but doesn't do harm in being around either. If you want to see a Star Wars commercial tie-in that's actually kind of innocent in its approach, this isn't a bad one to check out.
Wicket, Kneesa and Latara: Teebo! (Teebo laughs, episode ends)
NC: And like I said before, it did introduce me to "Star Wars". I mean, how can I dislike a spin-off show for doing that?
(Cut to fake title card of "The Jar Jar Show", showing us crudely drawn Jar Jar Binks giving a thumbs up)
NC: (through clenched teeth) Don't push your luck. (normal) I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to.
(He leaves his chair. The credits roll)
|The Nostalgia Critic Transcripts
||Transformers · Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue · Cloverfield Trailer Review · Power Rangers: A Look Back · Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Book Launch · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movies · The Top 11 Scariest Nostalgic Moments · Super Mario Bros.: The Movie · Cloverfield Review · Street Fighter · Mortal Kombat · Space Jam · The Nerd Rant · The Nerd Rant Part 2 · Pokémon The First Movie · The Nerd Wizard Rant · The Wizard · The Top 11 Naughtiest Moments in Animaniacs · Batman & Robin · The Top 11 Catchiest Theme Songs · '90s Sports Montage · The Nerd Response…Response · The Top 11 Drug PSAs · The Battle of Epic Proportions · Captain Planet · Double Dare · 3 Ninjas · Top 11 Hottest Animated Women · Video Game Review · The Search for the Nostalgia Chick · He-Man and the Masters of the Universe · Follow That Bird · Saved By the Bell · Tom and Jerry: The Movie · Top 11 Saddest Moments · Nostalgia Chick Winner · Surf Ninjas · NC vs The Nerd Showdown · Top 11 Nostalgic Animated Shows · Kazaam · The Nerd vs. NC: The Final Battle · Off to Beat the Nerd · Drew Struzan Tribute · Halloween '08 Special · Double Dragon · Top 11 Underrated Nostalgic Classics · Howard the Duck · Mortal Kombat: Annihilation · Godzilla · Top 11 Disney Villains · The Super Mario Bros. Super Show · Top 12 Greatest Christmas Specials · Jingle All the Way
||Nicktoons · Nickcoms · SNICK · Good Burger · The Making of the Final Battle · Ferngully: The Last Rain Forest · A Kid in King Arthur's Court · The Good Son · The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog · Top 11 Nostalgic Mindfucks · Twister · Garbage Pail Kids · Rock-A-Doodle · Titanic - The Legend Goes On · The Pagemaster · The NeverEnding Story · Moonwalker · Top 11 Dumbest Superman Moments · TMNT · Red Sonja · TGWTG Team Brawl · Short Circuit 1 & 2 · Batman vs. The Dark Knight · Full House · North · Critic and Nerd: TMNT Making of Coming Out of Their Shells · Sidekicks · Gargoyles · Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen · Steel · Top 11 Cereal Mascots · Barb Wire · New vs Old - LOTR Animated vs Lord of the Rings · Last Action Hero · Captain N · We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story · Warriors of Virtue · Captain America · Top 11 F*ckups · Alone in the Dark · Blank Check · Old vs. New: Willy Wonka · Cool as Ice · Suburban Commando · Next Karate Kid · Casper · Superman IV · Congo · Siskel and Ebert Tribute · Judge Dredd · Tank Girl · Jack Frost · He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special · Next Best Christmas Specials · Star Wars Holiday Special · Ernest Saves Christmas
||Commando · Junior · Conan and Conan the Destroyer · End of Days · Battlefield Earth · Bebe's Kids · Lost in Space · Top 11 Villain Songs · Quest for Camelot · Old vs. New: Nutty Professor · Bio-Dome · NeverEnding Story II · Top 11 Most Awkward Christopher Walken Moments · Flubber · Home Alone 3 · Old vs. New: King Kong · Drop Dead Fred · The Care Bears Movie · Kickassia: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 · Jaws 3 · Free Willy · A Troll in Central Park · Theodore Rex · Top 11 Coolest Cliches · Hook · Independence Day · The Room · The Phantom · Zeus and Roxanne · Animaniacs Tribute · Flintstones Movie · Mr. Nanny · Rocky IV · Chairman of the Board · Next Top 11 NC Fuckups · Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw · Pebble and the Penguin · Ernest Scared Stupid · Top 11 Scariest Performances · IT · Leprechaun · My Pet Monster · Commercial Special · Old vs. New: 10 Commandments vs. Prince of Egypt · The Thief and the Cobbler · Waterworld · Little Monsters · Rover Dangerfield · You're a Rotten Dirty Bastard · The First Couple: TMNT
||NeverEnding Story III · Ferngully 2 · Secret of NIMH 2 · Care Bears 2 · Dungeons and Dragons · Top 11 Dumbest Spider-Man Moments · The Lost World: Jurassic Park · Return of the Nostalgic Commercials · Inspector Gadget · Old vs. New: The Karate Kid · The Langoliers · Airborne · Baby Geniuses · Raiders of the Story Arc: X-Men · The Magic Voyage · Double Team · Top 11 Dumbasses in Distress · Jaws: The Revenge · Gordy · The OTHER Animated Titanic Movie · Revenge of the Nostalgic Commercials · Once Upon a Forest · Little Nemo · Old vs. New: True Grit · Suburban Knights: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 · Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon · Milk Money · Rad · Raiders of the Story Arc: Duck Tales · Care Bears in Wonderland · Cop and a Half · Top 11 Batman TAS Episodes · Alaska · Let's Play Bart's Nightmare · James and the Giant Peach · The Avengers · Simon Sez · The Tommyknockers · The Haunting · Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows · Exorcist 2 · Doug's 1st Movie · The Cell · Raiders of the Story Arc: Superman · Felix the Cat · Moulin Rouge · Babes in Toyland · How the Grinch Stole Christmas · Child's Play
||Santa Claus: The Movie · Star Trek: The Motion Picture · Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock · Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier · Star Trek 7: Generations · Star Trek 9: Insurrection · Patch Adams · Ponyo · Dunston Checks In · Thomas and the Magic Railroad · Top 11 Nostalgia Critic F*** Ups Part 3 · Richie Rich · Jungle 2 Jungle · Old vs. New: Manhunter vs. Red Dragon · Star Chaser · Transformers Cartoon · A Simple Wish · Alien Resurrection · Jack · Heavy Metal · Mr. Magoo · Top 11 Simpsons Episodes · Signs · Digimon: The Movie · Top 11 F*** YEAH Movie Themes · Baby Geniuses 2 · Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom · The Wiz · Total Recall (with Sci-Fi Guy) · Scooby-Doo · To Boldly Flee: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8 · NC's Top 11 Favorite Jokes · The WORST Movies Nostalgia Critic's Reviewed
||The Review Must Go On · The Odd Life of Timothy Green · Pearl Harbor · Son of the Mask · The King and I · Catwoman · The Cat in the Hat · Top 11 South Park Episodes · Jurassic Park · A.I. Artificial Intelligence · The Master of Disguise · Turbo - A Power Rangers Movie · Top 11 Dumbest Lord of the Rings Moments · Sailor Moon · Les Miserables · Top 11 Adult Jokes We Never Got as Kids · The Last Airbender · Bridge to Terabithia · The Shining Mini-Series · Sharknado · Devil · Dawn of the Commercials · Man of Steel · Top 12 Santa Clauses · Eight Crazy Nights · The Christmas Tree
||Face/Off · The Wicker Man · Ghost Rider · Top 11 Strangest Best Couples · Ghost Dad · Disney's Alice in Wonderland · Top 11 Moments You Never Noticed in Ghostbusters · Disney Afternoon · Foodfight · Swan Princess · The Lorax · Old vs. New: Spider-Man · Blues Brothers 2000 · Jurassic Park 3 · After Earth · Bloodrayne · The Purge · Top 11 Trailers · Small Soldiers · The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement · Ghost Rider 2 · Top 11 Worst Avatar Episodes · Top 11 Best Avatars (with Dante Basco) · Maximum Overdrive · Top 11 New Halloween Classics · Monster Squad · Rise of the Commercials · Forest Warrior · Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (NC) · Christmas Story 2 · Care Bears Nutcracker
||The Matrix · The Animatrix · The Matrix Reloaded · The Matrix Revolutions · AVGN Movie · Mamma Mia! · The Haunted Mansion · Daredevil · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) · Demolition Man · Top 11 Animaniacs Episodes · Legend of Zorro · The Ewoks Cartoon - Was That Real? · Fantastic Four · Cowboys of Moo Mesa - Was That Real? · Sharkboy and Lavagirl · Small Wonder - Was That Real? · Jupiter Ascending · Jurassic World · Top 11 TV Show Intros · Planet of the Apes · Osmosis Jones · Garfield: The Movie · Pixels · The Smurfs · Hammerman - Was That Real? · Mad Max: Fury Road · Event Horizon · Children of the Corn · Hocus Pocus · Conquest of the Commercials · Dragon's Lair · We Wish You a Turtle Christmas · Christmas with the Kranks · Star Wars: The Force Awakens (NC)
||The Happening · Top 11 Funniest Shyamalan Moments · Lady in the Water · Labyrinth · Spawn · Cats & Dogs · The Phantom of the Opera · The Adventures of Pluto Nash · Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain - Was That Real? · Batman v Superman · Blade · Old vs. New: Cinderella · Spy Kids 3D: Game Over · Jem and the Holograms (2015) · The Grinch vs. The Cat in the Hat - Was That Real? · Scooby-Doo 2 · Alvin and the Chipmunks · Ghostbusters (2016) · Teddy Ruxpin Live Action Series - Was That Real? · Wild Wild West · The 3rd Animated Titanic Movie (Tentacolino) · The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle · Stephen King's Dreamcatcher · Freddy vs. Jason · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows · Battle of the Commercials · Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas · Top 12 Christmas Commercials · I'll Be Home For Christmas · Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
||Top 11 Best Movie Sequels · Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel · Top 11 Worst Movie Sequels · The Smurfs 2 · Garfield 2: A Tail of Two Kitties · Cool World · Old vs. New: Evil Dead · Top 11 WTF Alternate Endings · Balto · Fant4stic · Clockstoppers · The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas · Suicide Squad Trailer · Suicide Squad · Alien vs. Predator · Transformers: The Last Knight NON-Review · Wonder Woman · Norm of the North · Hulk (2003) · Monkeybone · The Sorcerer's Apprentice · Eragon · Kangaroo Jack · Green Lantern · It (2017) · The Mummy · The Mummy (2017) · Dragonball Evolution · War of the Commercials · Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa · Home Alone 2: Lost in New York · Star Wars: The Last Jedi
||Lara Croft: Tomb Raider · Top 11 Good Adam Sandler Movies · Yogi Bear · Batman Forever · Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked · Alice Through the Looking Glass · Beauty and the Beast (2017) · Jack and Jill · Starship Troopers · Scooby-Doo: The Mystery Begins · The Spirit · Deadpool 2 · The Angry Birds Movie · Fox Kids · The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen · Mission: Impossible 2 · Doom · Ghostbusters 2 · Freddy Got Fingered · Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer · Sleepwalkers · Van Helsing · Rubber (2010) · Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom · Escape from the Commercials · A Christmas Story Live · The Nutcracker (2010)
||Max Payne · Robocop (2014) · The Black Cauldron (NC) · Top 11 Funniest Siskel and Ebert Reviews · The Country Bears · X-Men: The Animated Series · X-Men · X-Men: The Last Stand · Best F(r)iends · Hop · Toonami · Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within · Mary Poppins Returns · Alien 3 · Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief · Kim Possible · Blade II · That Darn Cat · Underworld · Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip · The Wall · Hannibal · It: Chapter Two · Venom · Justice League · Planet of the Commercials · The Grinch (2018) · The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
||Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker · Beverly Hills Chihuahua · Con Air · Supergirl · Spider-Man · Spider-Man 3 · The Amazing Spider-Man 2 · Dolittle · Independence Day: Resurgence · Critters · Avatar (2009) · Superman Returns · Elektra · Alita: Battle Angel · Battleship · The Lion King (2019) · The Animated Lord of the Rings · The Bill & Ted Movies · Playing with Fire · Pokémon Detective Pikachu · X-Men: Apocalypse · The Stand · Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark · Curse of the Commercials · Sucker Punch · The Muppet Christmas Carol · Batman Returns · Home Alone 4
||Shark Tale · The Mummy Returns · Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles · Strange Magic · Terminator 2: Judgment Day · Terminator Salvation · Terminator: Dark Fate · Wonder Woman 1984
||Turkish Rambo · Video Game Review 2: Blues Brothers (SNES) · Reefer Madness · Doomsday Machine · NC - Kickassia · NC - Suburban Knights · NC - To Boldly Flee · NC - Live Review of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 · Paranoia · Cup of Idiocy (Doug's Old Home Movies) · Night of the Living Dead · The Cinema Snob Movie · The Review Must Go On Review
||NostalgiaWeen · Christmas · Annual Theme Month