The Emoji Movie
May 1, 2018
(The Channel Awesome logo is displayed, followed by the title sequence. Open on the NC sitting in his usual spot, but this time wearing a heavy frown. He silently holds up a Blu-ray release of The Emoji Movie in one hand, and in the other, he holds up his cell phone and texts some emojis, which are displayed on the main screen: "[middle finger]", "[index finger pointing right]", "[pile of poop with an angry face on it]", all seemingly directed at the Blu-ray (it's emoji for "Fuck this shit"). He then drops the cell phone. Cut to the title for this movie, followed by footage of it)
NC (vo): The Emoji Movie is one of the most famously despised films in recent years. With a premise that's beyond desperate and gimmicky, a trailer with far more dislikes than likes, and a Rotten Tomatoes score of (the Rotten Tomatoes page for the movie is displayed, showing off a score of...) eight friggin' percent, this movie's hate levels have reached legendary status.
NC (vo): But with all the requests I've been getting to review this, I can't see the film not becoming a nostalgic landmark of heinousness. There's a lot to get to, so let's get right to it. Insert your emoji icon (an image of an emoji icon pops up, doing what NC describes...) brutally stabbing The Emoji Movie here!
NC: Does that emoji not exist yet? It will! Let's take a look at currently one of the most hated films ever, (rolls eyes) The Emoji Movie.
(The opening Columbia Pictures logo is concluded by Alex's hands holding a smartphone, taking a picture on a camera and then adding a smiley-face emoji wearing sunglasses over to the Torch Lady's face)
NC (vo): It starts off with the Columbia logo having its picture taken and given an emoji.
NC: (smiling) I immediately hate all life.
(The movie opens on a bunch of high school kids bent over their cell phones, sending out texts, complete with emojis)
NC (vo): We're told how everybody is on their phones, but seeing how this is a Sony movie with Sony products, they don't portray this as a bad thing.
(The camera focuses on one kid in particular)
Gene (T. J. Miller): (narrating) That's our user: Alex.
NC: You can call him Riley. (A shot of Riley from Inside Out appears in the corner) It's not his name, but it's who he is.
Gene: (narrating) Attention spans get shorter and shorter, and... you're probably not even listening to me right now. Who has the time to type out actual words?
NC: I mean, the writers clearly didn't type out actual words. I just assume the entire script was this. (Three emojis pop up: happy faces with dollar signs for eyes and green tongues sticking out, also with dollar signs on them)
(Inside one of Alex's apps, a town Textopolis exists, which is inhabited mostly by emojis)
NC (vo): We see the emojis are alive and live in a place called Textopolis...
NC: (rubbing his temple) That's just a hint of how hard they're trying in this movie.
(The film's main character, a "Meh" emoji named Gene, is shown walking to the text center where he hopes to get a job)
NC (vo): ...where we see our main character is named Meh*, voiced by T. J. Miller. Meh, it turns out, is super happy, but his job/personality assignment for life requires him to be unimpressed by anything.
- Although the character is named Gene, NC calls him "Meh".
(Gene comes across three monkey emojis with suitcases)
Monkey Emoji: We have business to attend to.
Gene: What kind of business?
Monkey Emoji: Monkey business.
(All three suddenly start jumping and screeching, and Gene plays along. Cut to NC, poker-faced, who's holding something by the rope next to the pot with boiling water. The object on the rope is the word "CHARM", which hums happily until noticing what NC is doing and it screams before being lowered into a pot. Back to the movie, Gene accidentally bumps into ">:|", "|:" and ":P" emojis, who are portrayed as old ones)
NC (vo): I'll admit, I got a chuckle out of the emoticons being old and elderly. But don't worry. There's a whole bad movie of jokes to make up for it.
(Gene meets the clock emoji)
Gene: (points at the clock emoji's hour hands) Is that the time?
Clock Emoji: (offended) Hey, my eyes are up here, pal!
NC: (as Gene) Oh, sorry! I was looking at your boobs...clock? (normal, confused) I don't even follow that.
(Gene speaks to his parents, the bored-looking and monotone-sounding emojis named Mel Meh and Mary Meh, who are voiced by Steven Wright and Jennifer Coolige)
NC (vo): So he goes to talk to his father, played by... dammit, Steven Wright, why haven't you fired your agent yet?
NC: No, really. That's how he's billed now. (A screenshot shows that Steven Wright's name on the movie's IMDb profile is covered by the exact phrase NC just said)
(Gene and his parents go to the bathroom)
Mel: I'm not letting you go to work today.
Mel: You're just not ready, son.
NC (vo): His dad says Meh isn't ready to go on the phone and be a "Meh" face. And, in keeping with the film's theme, the moment is immediately followed by crap.
(A poop emoji that is named Poop and his son Poop Jr. walk out of the toilet cabin, cheerful)
Poop Jr. (Jude Kouyate): Should we wash our hands?
Poop (Patrick Stewart): (laughs with his son) No, no, no. (Chants with his son as they leave the room) We're number two!
NC (vo): That's Patrick Stewart playing shit, and his character's name is Poop.
(In a later scene, Poop takes a cocktail glass for himself and clinks it with one of an ice cream emoji's)
Poop: Just doing my duty. (An ice cream emoji laughs) What?
(Cut to a clip from The Simpsons episode "A Milhouse Divided")
Reverend Lovejoy: (double facepalming) Oh, sweet Jesus.
(Gene is happily greeted by the text center's CEO, Smiler (Maya Rudolph), a female emoji who always has a big smile)
NC (vo): Meh insists he's ready, though, and he visits the original emoji, Smiler, played by...dammit, Maya Rudolph, why haven't you also fired your agent?!
NC: By the way, if you're wondering: no, that's not how she bills herself now, but it is a picture of this character hanging herself. (Another IMDb screenshot is shown, this time with Rudolph's name replaced by what NC just described)
(Taking his position with other emojis on the big stand, Gene observes Poop freezing into his default form and getting scanned after Alex picks him on his phone)
NC (vo): She says you just wait for the user to pick you, and then you get scanned into his conversation.
(Poop appears on Alex's message in his conversation box)
Smiler: And that scan will get sent right up to Alex's text box.
NC: (as Smiler) Yeah, Snotty scanned me twice last night. (smiles deviously, raises eyebrows) It was wonderful.
(In the human world, Alex is shown looking at her crush, a girl named Addie)
Alex (Jake T. Austin): I gotta reply to Addie's text. What should I write?
Travis (Sean Giambrone): Nothing.
Travis: Words aren't cool.
NC: It's like a film mocking a generation's idiocy while also (The poster for this movie appears) adding to that generation's idiocy.
(When Gene is selected, he gets nervous and makes a panicked expression as he is scanned)
NC (vo): Meh gets chosen, though, and panics, giving a different face.
(Alex sees that Addie is creeped out after looking at her phone and finds out the emoji that was sent was Gene's panicked face)
Alex: What is that emoji?
NC: Uh, just look around you. (A picture of three people at the cinema is shown, with Gene's panicked face Photoshopped on their heads) It's called "the audience's goddamn reaction".
(Gene causes the scanner's giant metal hand to crush a part of the emoji stand and then break itself)
NC (vo): Seeing how...apparently, this has never happened in history, I guess, everything goes wrong, and the scanner is destroyed.
NC: In fact, for a system and a civilization that doesn't need to exist, they really should have more safety precautions. (Pause) In fact, if phones...
NC (vo): ...have souls living in them, does that mean that the machines they use also have souls living in them?
NC: Do the gears...
(Zoom to the toaster emoji entering the text center from before)
NC (vo): ...inside that toaster also have little toasters inside a town called Toastopolis?
NC: Is anyone who made this realizing how stupid this all was yet?
NC (vo): So they think Meh is a malfunction, which...yeah, honestly, sounds right...as he talks to his friend Poop, and we discover a whole new emotional realm that really evolves his character... Nah, I'm just kidding! They make shit jokes.
(Gene is called in by Smiler, so he goes into her office and meets Poop and the Devil Emoji on the way there)
Poop: We all have accidents.
Devil Emoji: You're so soft, Poop.
Poop: Not too soft, I hope.
NC: (as Patrick Stewart) I did this role for my grandkids who are not getting Christmas presents this year.
(Smiler tells Gene that he should be erased from existence, so her AV Bots appear)
NC (vo): Smiler says the only thing to do is to delete him, forcing Anti-Virus Bots to wipe him out.
Smiler: All right, good talk. Bots! (chuckles as the AV Bots approach Gene from the sides)
NC: I know a lot of people compare this to Inside Out, but it doesn't help that Smiler...
NC (vo): ...is literally (picture of...) Joy, except with (Joy's hair is superimposed on Smiler) different hair and complete lack of joy. To quote Jon Lovitz from Rat Race...
(A clip from Rat Race appears at the top)
Randy Pear (Jon Lovitz): You should sue somebody.
(Running from the bots, Gene bumps into Hi-5, a hand emoji who lost his popularity)
NC (vo): Meh escapes, though, and comes across another unpopular emoji called Hi-5, played by James Corden, who thinks he's being hunted, too.
(Hi-5 takes Gene to a secret room in the center's basement. Here, we are shown some unique emojis like disco ball, lunch box, old lady, a paper chart, etc.)
Hi-5 (James Corden): They'll never find us down here. Welcome to the Loser Lounge, where the emojis who never get used hang out.
NC: I guess that can be funny, but you're missing the really unpopular ones, like...
(The following is shown...)
NC (vo): ..."pregnant wife drinking" emoji, "Ghostbuster reboot" emoji, and breadstick emojis. (Beat) Who the dicksauce needs breadstick emojis?!
Hi-5: Just find the hacker and get reprogrammed.
NC (vo): Hi-5 tells him to find a hacker in the piracy app to get reprogrammed so that everything will go back to normal.
Hi-5: But all I need is a hacker. Today's your lucky day. Let's roll!
NC (vo): Hi-5 also realizes he can do that to become popular again. Kind of weird he didn't originally think of that for himself, (The Ghost Corps logo from the 2016 Ghostbusters reboot and the clip from the Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse trailer is shown) but they had to write this fast to start another Sony Cinematic Universe. Give them some credit, there was little toilet paper to write this on.
(Gene leaves the Textopolis and finds himself and Hi-5 around a group of app cubes that are presented as icons in Alex's phone screen)
NC (vo): They walk outside the Textopolis and enter the wallpaper in the phone. Again, could be a clever idea, but it just feels like more commercials for products and apps on Sony phones.
(A montage of several product placements in the movie is shown, starting with a world that's portrayed as a planet filled with green aliens)
Candy Crush Announcer: Candy Crush.
Akiko Glitter (Christina Aguilera): Welcome to Just Dance!
Gene: This is Spotify?
Jailbreak (Anna Faris): Yep.
NC: It's especially tragic, 'cause there's a real good commentary on social media in this conversation.
Gene: How does he (Alex) know so many people?
Hi-5: None of these people know him, but they like him.
Gene: I think I'd rather just have a real friend.
Hi-5: A real friend? How's that gonna get you anywhere? What you need are fans.
NC (vo): But again, it's...kind of lost when you're in a film called The Emoji Movie!
NC: It's like slipping in fascism is bad in (DVD cover for...) Triumph of the Will! Something's gonna get lost!
NC (vo): They make it to the piracy app, which is disguised as a dictionary app using a different skin.
Gene: What could a teenage boy possibly want to hide from his parents?
NC: (looks disturbed, shifts eyes nervously) Uh...what's this film rated again?
(Inside a piracy app, we see cartoonishly-looking creatures who are called Internet Trolls hanging out in a pub designed as a pirate ship. Cut to a clip from Jurassic Park)
Ray Arnold (Samuel L. Jackson): It could've been worse, John. A lot worse.
(Gene and Hi-5 find the hacker they need, a blue-haired female emoji named Jailbreak, who is wearing a hat)
NC (vo): While roaming through drunken VeggieTales, they come across a hacker named Jailbreak, played by...dammit, Anna Faris! Why haven't you...oh, goddamn, forget it.
NC: And yes, that is how she's billed. (One more Photoshopped IMDb screenshot is shown, showing the sentence NC said in place of Faris' name in the cast section)
(The AV Bots find Gene in the piracy app, so he, Jailbreak and Hi-5 are forced to flee. They fall into the Candy Crush app, but Gene gets stuck in the game's main board)
NC (vo): The Anti-Virus Bots come in, though, and Jailbreak agrees to help Meh after she sees he can make many different emoji faces. They land in Candy Crush, because... (The Sugar Rush arcade game from Wreck-It Ralph is shown) shit, we're not enough like other Disney animated films, are we?
Jailbreak: The game obviously thinks you're a candy.
Gene: What are we gonna do?
Jailbreak: Stay very still.
NC: (as Jailbreak) It's more likely the user's mom downloaded it, so it probably won't be played for a while!
(In a human world, Alex tries to speak to Addie, but is distracted by the Candy Crush sounds in his phone, so he calls the customer service)
NC (vo): After a mere 20-minute absence, we finally see Not-Riley again, as he tries to hit on the girl he likes, but Candy Crush keeps making sounds, so he calls customer service to get the phone fixed.
Alex: I'd like to make an appointment. This phone is playing games with me.
NC (vo): And...yeah. That's all the insight we need on him for a while.
NC: It's amazing how much I know (Pictures of Alex and Riley appear on NC's sides) about this kid compared to Inside Out! Like... he's a boy.
(Jailbreak and Hi-5 manage to free Gene from the board)
NC (vo): They finally get him out of Candy Crush, and they realize they have to get to the cloud to reprogram him...after this, um, strong feminist statement.
Jailbreak: You know, women are always coming up with stuff that men are taking credit for.
Hi-5: (with all the candy he stole from the board) You know what... (Gene stuffs a cupcake in his mouth to shut him up)
NC: (shrugs in confusion) Discuss?...
(We cut to Mary and Mel looking for their son around the phone)
NC (vo): Meh's parents go looking for him while also being followed by the bots, so they distract them in the YouTube app.
(Mary does something on the touchscreen inside the YouTube app)
Mel: What are you doing now?
Mary: They'll be in there for hours.
NC: Okay, these jokes are over five years old. Place your bets. Cat video, or... Why even make another guess? You know that's it.
(The AV Bots "aww" when they see a video of a person rubbing a kitten's belly)
NC: (cheerfully) Hey! What's this YouTube Kids video with Elsa, the Joker and Spider-Man? (His smile abruptly goes down, and he looks unsettled) Oooh, that's gonna change the film's rating.
(We go to a commercial. After coming back, we're shown Gene, Hi-5 and Jailbreak hiding inside a Just Dance app and getting caught in the playing process)
NC (vo): The bots spot our heroes trying to get to the cloud through Dropbox by going through the Just Dance app...
NC: (holding his phone) Not entirely sure how that path works on my phone either.
NC (vo): ...as it looks like they have to dance or...um...death.
Gene: What does she (Akiko) mean by "Out"?
Jailbreak: Digital death.
NC: Just Dance got a lot darker in recent years.
NC (vo): But Jailbreak can't dance, so Meh shows her how.
(Gene takes Jailbreak by her hands and rolls her around. Jailbreak pulls her hair back bashfully)
NC: (as Jailbreak) Oh, well... He knows how to dance! Clearly, this is a relationship material!
(Hi-5, who isn't a player of the game dances along...shaking his buttcheeks)
Hi-5: Nice! Shake it, Gene!
NC: (looking pissed) Why does a hand have a butt? Why is that my biggest question, but more importantly, why does a hand have a butt?
(Gene makes various emoji expresisons thoughout his dance, and Akiko stops him)
Akiko: Wait a minute. I've never seen that dance before. What's it called?
NC: I do not recall this Q&A portion of the game.
Gene: The Emoji...Pop?
Akiko: Everybody, do the Emoji Pop! (They dance the same moves Gene did)
NC: I'd rather (The shots from "Macarena" music video by Los Del Rio and the intro from The Super Mario Bros. Super Show pop up) do the Macarena with the Mario than the Emoji Pop. (Beat) While on fire.
(While dancing, Jailbreak's hat falls off her, and Gene sees she actually has ginger hair and a princess crown)
NC (vo): But Jailbreak reveals she's really a princess emoji, the one said to have gotten off the phone, although she clearly didn't.
Gene: You're the Princess Emoji? (hands Jailbreak's hat over to her) You never got off the phone.
NC: Now, we don't know that. Maybe she's just one of the Minions playing dress-up. (A Minion from Despicable Me is shown in Princess Peach's getup) Everything else from this movie is stolen.
(Back to the human world, Alex's phone goes off at the lesson)
NC (vo): Well, it's been about 12 minutes. Guess we can check in on Not-Riley again. God, he plays such a big part!
(Alex is forced to delete the Just Dance app off the phone, from which the world crumbles. Gene and Jailbreak escape before getting caught by the AV Bots, but Hi-5 and Akiko are taken along with the app and end up in the trash)
NC (vo): He deletes the dance app because it's making noise, resulting in Hi-5 getting trashed. Meh wants to go save him, leading to...again, a legit good line.
Gene: I'm not just gonna leave him to get deleted.
Jailbreak: You gotta look out for number one.
Gene: Well, what good is it to be number one if there aren't any other numbers?
NC: Don't try to be an actual movie now. That boat sailed with (clip of...) the "monkey business" joke!
(Gene and Jailbreak take a boat and sail along the sound waves in the Spotify app)
NC (vo): So they go through Spotify where they sail along the sound waves, and Jailbreak discusses why she wants to get to the cloud.
Jailbreak: Did you realize that on the first emoji set, a woman can either be a princess or a bride? That's why I need to get to the cloud, where you can be whoever you want to be.
NC: ...Okay. First, it looks like...
(The Flamenca Emoji, Mary Meh and Smiler are shown)
NC (vo): ...there's a lot of female emojis there, so clearly, that's changed.
NC: Second, didn't they say...
NC (vo): ...that Smiler was the original emoji? Does she not count in those two choices?
NC: Third, princess is really not a personality. This (Disney's Snow White is shown on NC's right) is very different from this! (Xena, the Warrior Princess, is shown on the left)
NC (vo): But, whatever. Maybe she just doesn't like the idea of emojis. Whatever the reason is, she wants to go to the cloud. (Gene and Jailbreak pull Hi-5 back from the trash, and Akiko and the trolls are left there) So they go into the trash to save Hi-5, leaving all the other trash characters to die a slow and horrible death.
NC: Normally, I'd be upset with that in movie, but honestly, I'm more frustrated with how many characters don't die!
(Meanwhile, Mary searches for Mel, with whom she broke up earlier, in Instagram app. There, she enters a picture of Alex and his parents in Paris, and the location is shown to be frozen. Mary goes to the fountain and finds Mel...who has a "crying" mode on him. It turns out that Mel is a malfunction, too)
NC (vo): In a particularly odd scene, and that's saying a lot for this film, Meh's parents look through Not-Riley's pictures with his folks, and they have...I guess a tender moment?
NC: I say "I guess", because I honestly have no idea if this is supposed to be heartwarming or funny.
Mary: Right now, I'm so overwhelmed with passionate feelings for you.
(NC is shown to be holding two captions: "Laughter" and "Awwww". He raises the first one, and the audience laugh track is heard)
Mel: Mary, my love for you burns with the intensity (His eyes become hearts) of a red-hot flame.
(NC raises the "Awwww" caption, and the audience reacts accordingly)
Mel: (leaves with Mary) We'll always have Paris, Mary.
(Angry, NC puts both captions down and pulls out a giant "BOOOOOO", which is accompanied by an appropriate sound effect. Back to the movie, Gene, Jailbreak and Hi-5 encounter a literal firewall that is blocking their way to the cloud. Gene is burned each time he says a word that he thinks is a password)
NC (vo): So they make it to the Dropbox and ride their way to the firewall. They try different passwords they think Not-Riley would have, using Meh's different expressions, but they all fail.
Jailbreak: We've tried all the important things in Alex's life. His favorite pet, sport, his favorite grandma.
NC: If only this movie gave him a personality. Like finding out that he has a favorite grandma? That's the most I know about him!
(Eventually, they figure out the password is "Addie")
NC (vo): But Hi-5 saw an email in the trash to a girl he (Alex) likes but never talks to, and I guess it turns out that's the password. I guess that's romantic having the password be a person you never talk to... if you're a stalker... Hey, is it creepy-ass o'clock already?
(NC's phone is shown in close-up, instead of a usual time, it says "Creepy-Ass O'Clock". Gene and Jailbreak enter the cloud, and Jailbreak goes to reprogram Gene)
NC (vo): They make it to the cloud, though, and Meh admits he wants to stay with Jailbreak. She turns him down, though, because...movies?
Jailbreak: I like you just the way you are. But I had a plan. I'm not just some princess, Gene, waiting for my prince.
(Heartbroken, Gene reverts to the apathetic programming)
NC: D'oh! That old excuse "if I had a plan", and we suck at writing emotional conflict! Timeless tale.
(The AV Bot captures Gene, so Jailbreak reveals her status to Hi-5)
NC (vo): Meh leaves, but gets captured by the bots, and Jailbreak decides to go back and save him.
Hi-5: Then let's go get him.
(Jailbreak and Hi-5 travel back via giant living Twitter icon)
NC (vo; cheerfully): I suddenly want to write in all caps and hate everything!
(As Smiler prepares to delete Gene in the text center, Mel and Mary arrive)
NC (vo): Meh is brought back to be deleted, but his parents come in to speak up for him.
Mel: I have the same malfunction Gene does. (lets out steam from his nose in anger, surprising the other emojis on the stand)
NC: (as Mel, monotone) It doesn't affect my voice, because...you know, I got a schtick.
(Jailbreak and Hi-5 arrive and defeat Smiler. Alex has since taken his phone to the store and asks to have his phone erased to fix the problem)
NC (vo): Jailbreak and Hi-5 crash in, but it looks like it's too late, as the user's deleting the phone to fix it. However, the girl he likes is there, and it looks like... (sighs) How do I even explain this?
NC: They can only send an emoji to her. And since...
(Gene prepares to have himself texted to Addie, making numerous faces to express himself. Addie notices the message and speaks to Alex)
NC (vo): ...Meh is the only one that can do a bunch of different emojis, it's decided he should go. Because, you know, sometimes a Sony phone and an emoji can get you the love of your life. Yep, that's what we're doing.
Addie (Tati Gabrielle): That's one super-cool emoji. A lot of feelings in one. I get it. I like that you're one of those guys who can actually express his feelings.
NC: You know, through the most unemotional, laziest way possible. (Beat) He pushed a button! (quickly realizes) He didn't even do that!
(Alex stops the phone from getting erased...somehow getting all the apps he had back)
NC (vo): He stops the phone from getting deleted, because...
NC: ...he found love?
NC (vo): And all of Textopolis is put back. Hi-5 is so emotional, he doesn't even match his voice to his lip movements.
Hi-5: (as the camera pulls back and clearly shows he just smiles) They love us! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! They love both of us!
NC: (hand to cheek) So there was really a jackass who said "We should ADR him more dialogue"?
(Every emoji does the Emoji Pop together (including the ones from the Loser Lounge), as Alex, Addie and the others are shown having fun at the prom. Three shots of dance party endings from Shrek 2, Hotel Transylvania 2 and Smurfs: The Lost Village are shown)
NC (vo): They have a big dance party, because I think it's law now every animated film should end with one, and the emojis are used once again to replace all human emotion. A fair analysis for this goddamn movie as a whole.
(The movie's title is shown to the song "Good Vibrations" by Ricky Reed, ending it)
NC: And that is one of the most hated films to come out of recent years. And believe it or not, I might have an unpopular opinion. (A sniper gun's laser is pointed to NC's head) Oh, I still hated it. But I think it's just run-of-the-mill bad.
(The movie's clips are shown for the last time as NC lists his final thoughts on it. At the beginning of his thoughts, the pictures and posters for The Room, The Cat in the Hat, Little Nicky, Troll 2, Bio-Dome, Drop Dead Fred, Son of the Mask, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III and Garbage Pail Kids are shown)
NC (vo): I've seen much, much, much, much, much worse in all my years reviewing. This film does have a touch of creativity, at least two inventive lines, and enough of a visual eye to be colorful and somewhat imaginative. I've seen films that have none of those qualities, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't understand why it has pissed people off so much. The corporate advertising is not at all hidden, which wouldn't be too bad if they could utilize it in a clever way like The LEGO Movie did. Work it into the storytelling. Like, why couldn't we find out more about the kid through the phone? Maybe looking through his history of his pictures and text, we could see his flaws and maybe the flaws tie in to the problems the emojis are going through? But if we did that, we wouldn't have our bullshit resolution where a Sony product saves the day. It is bad, and it's important to remember why it's bad so other films trying to do commercial tie-ins, 'cause...let's be honest, there's gonna be plenty of those in the future...can at least work it into their story better. So, yeah. I can't even say it's one of the worst films I've ever seen. Take that for what it's worth. I guess as an advertising tie-in, it is uniquely bad, but as a bad movie among a sea of bad movies, all I can give it is an honest and simple...meh.
NC: I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and I deserve to be challenged by a more creatively bad movie!
Scooby: (off-screen) Scooby-Dooby-Doo!
NC: (bewildered) There's a third one?...
(We go to the credits)
Channel Awesome tagline - Travis: Words aren't cool.