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'''Linkara:''' ''(excitedly holding up index finger)'' Ooh! I can!
  
'''Linkara:''' ''(excitedly holding up index finger)'' Ooh! I can!
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'''Narrator:''' Are the boys as nervous and worried as you'd expect? Let's see...
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'''Linkara (v/o):''' The basketball guy from the cover says they have twenty minutes before the show starts, and we see the others playing a football video game or reading a book. So, no, they're not nervous or worried, but apparently, that's because instead of preparing themselves for a concert that's in less than twenty minutes, they're screwing around. Good to see how professional these guys are.
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'''Narrator:''' ...they were on stage in five, and they never missed a beat!
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'''Linkara:''' Pretty impressive, considering they were on stage fifteen minutes earlier than they were supposed to be. What were they doing during that time, just kind of milling around for fifteen minutes?
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'''Linkara (v/o):''' Maybe they should've used that extra time picking out better outfits. Take a look at these jackets and how they're hanging off their bodies. I think someone used a wee bit too much starch in them.
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'''Narrator:''' The audience eats it up...
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'''Linkara (v/o):''' Yeah, just look at this poor woman with her face stuck in that position, "eating it up".
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'''Narrator:''' ...as the world's most popular group gives it their all.
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'''Linkara:''' ''(as narrator)'' With very disappointing results.
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'''Narrator:''' But no one suspects the ''terrible'' danger lurking!
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'''Linkara:''' ''(as Batman)'' [[Batman: Fortunate Son|Hmm, it's not rock 'n' roll, but I should probably destroy them just to be on the safe side.]]
   
   

Revision as of 17:35, 24 May 2019

The Backstreet Project #1

At4w the backstreet project by masterthecreater-d3cfueo-768x339

Released
March 28, 2011
Running time
19:15
Previous review
Next review
Tagline
Backstreet's Back! ...Wait, is that a good thing?
Link

Linkara: Hello, and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. If you've been checking the list of upcoming reviews on my blog, you'll know that today was supposed to be a review of something called "ARComics Premiere #1".

(Cut to a shot of that comic)

Linkara (v/o): Well, I've looked it over, and despite very amateurish quality in the art and lettering department, it wasn't really all that bad; certainly better than this thing deserved to be. I don't know very much about this company, ARComics – or ARC Comics; I can't tell which way to pronounce it, except they seem to periodically release material...

(Cut to shots of ARComic's website)

Linkara (v/o): ...and they claim to have lots of readers and embracing digital comics and animation wholeheartedly, but their website hasn't really been updated since 2006. I'm not counting the copyrighted 2011 thing at the bottom. I have a hard time believing they're still around.

(Cut back to "ARComics #1")

Linkara (v/o): The comic in question was made in 1993, and the cover, which they were very proud of on their website, features a lenticular card that they call a "lenticular animation". Yyyyeah, two different images does not qualify animation. Some of the stories certainly have potential and weren't anything offensive and had a genuinely funny line here or there, but this is not exactly the stuff that new comic companies are made of.

Linkara: Instead, we're going to look at a different independent comic that's been requested before. What is it? Well, all I'll say is that BACKSTREET'S BACK!

(Cut to footage of a Backstreet Boys music video)

Linkara (v/o): Ah, the Backstreet Boys. When you think "boy band", you either think N*SYNC or these guys. (the cover of "New Kids On the Block #4" pops up briefly) Okay, maybe New Kids On the Block, but you get my point. I don't really think some of the popular songs of the group are actually all that bad, but the thing about the levels of popularity of singers leads people to the really stupid conclusion that if they're successful in one market, then fans will eat up anything containing their work in another market. Enter Stan Lee Media, an Internet-based business for Stan Lee to promote animation and new comic books. Aaaand it sank with the dot-com craze in 2000. I'm not gonna make any correlations, but I would point out that this thing apparently came out in the summer of 2000, and the company itself went under in December of 2000. Make your own conclusions.

Linkara: And like a lot of failed businesses, there are of course legal issues revolving around Stan Lee Media. But we're not here to talk about that. Instead, let's dig into (holds up today's comic) "The Backstreet Project #1".

(AT4W title sequence plays; title card has "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" by the Backstreet Boys playing in the background; cut to a closeup of the comic's cover)

Linkara (v/o): The first thing to note about this comic is that it's BIG. I don't mean that it's a really long comic; I mean that the dimensions of the comic itself are bigger than a normal comic. A standard comic book is about 6 1/2 inches wide and ten inches long. This thing is 8 1/2 inches wide and 10.75 inches long. The only reason I can guess as to why they felt it needed to be bigger was that they wanted to trick people into thinking it was a magazine and not a comic book. Hell, even the structure of the cover is like a magazine, with a big, blank space featuring the five in their superhero outfits and surrounded by text bits, including "EXCLUSIVE BACKSTREET PHOTOS INSIDE!"

Linkara: (mock excitement) WOW! Photos of the Backstreet Boys?! It's like those didn't even exist before this! (points to comic)

Linkara (v/o): I'm sorry, but it's not like they're leaked photos of a TV series that can give away plot details. THEY'RE FRIGGIN' SINGERS. What exactly is so appealing about "new photos" of them? Buy my new magazine; it has exclusive photos of them all wearing baseball caps! As for the superhero looks, they're not all that bad, actually, though I do have to wonder about this guy [Nick Carter] who's wielding a flaming basketball. I guess he was bitten by a radioactive NBA Jam cartridge.

Voice (from NBA Jam): He's on fire!

Linkara (v/o): And this guy [Kevin Richardson], who bears more than a striking similarity to Tony Stark in his Iron Man armor.

(The comic opens to the first page)

Linkara (v/o): We open to an outdoor Backstreet Boys concert that's packed to the gills.

Narrator: We don't claim this story is true--but no one can prove it isn't!

Linkara: (excitedly holding up index finger) Ooh! I can!

Narrator: Are the boys as nervous and worried as you'd expect? Let's see...

Linkara (v/o): The basketball guy from the cover says they have twenty minutes before the show starts, and we see the others playing a football video game or reading a book. So, no, they're not nervous or worried, but apparently, that's because instead of preparing themselves for a concert that's in less than twenty minutes, they're screwing around. Good to see how professional these guys are.

Narrator: ...they were on stage in five, and they never missed a beat!

Linkara: Pretty impressive, considering they were on stage fifteen minutes earlier than they were supposed to be. What were they doing during that time, just kind of milling around for fifteen minutes?

Linkara (v/o): Maybe they should've used that extra time picking out better outfits. Take a look at these jackets and how they're hanging off their bodies. I think someone used a wee bit too much starch in them.

Narrator: The audience eats it up...

Linkara (v/o): Yeah, just look at this poor woman with her face stuck in that position, "eating it up".

Narrator: ...as the world's most popular group gives it their all.

Linkara: (as narrator) With very disappointing results.

Narrator: But no one suspects the terrible danger lurking!

Linkara: (as Batman) Hmm, it's not rock 'n' roll, but I should probably destroy them just to be on the safe side.


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