Channel Awesome
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Tag: Visual edit
No edit summary
Tag: Visual edit
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'''Linkara:''' There, got ''that'' joke out of the way. ''(holds up Jell-O Man comic)'' Let's dig into "The Adventures of Jell-O Man and Wobbly #1".
 
'''Linkara:''' There, got ''that'' joke out of the way. ''(holds up Jell-O Man comic)'' Let's dig into "The Adventures of Jell-O Man and Wobbly #1".
   
'''Linkara (v/o):''' Before you ask, no, there is no second issue. Yeesh, even the Kool Aid Man got a few issues. Poor Jell-O Man. His existence is already spitting at the face of evolution by being a creature with an O-shaped head and made of a material that is highly edible, but he only gets a one-shot. And what's the deal with his hair? Is it whipped cream? Is it actual hair? Eww, hair on my Jell-O! Oh, but there are so many other questions about his anatomy. The eyebrows, for instance. What are they attached to? Are they attached to him? What are ''they'' made out of? Does he have teeth? Does Jell-O Man need to eat, too? How does he hear anything without any functioning ears? Is it like reading the sound vibrations across the gelatin form? How are his legs pivoting? Does he have a bone structure? Wobbly appears to be a doglike creature. What its legs and tail made out of? Eww, it has a tongue!
+
'''Linkara (v/o):''' Before you ask, no, there is no second issue. Yeesh, even the Kool Aid Man got a few issues. Poor Jell-O Man. His existence is already spitting at the face of evolution by being a creature with an O-shaped head and made of a material that is highly edible, but he only gets a one-shot. And what's the deal with his hair? Is it whipped cream? Is it actual hair? Eww, hair on my Jell-O! Oh, but there are so many other questions about his anatomy. The eyebrows, for instance. What are they attached to? Are they attached to him? What are ''they'' made out of? Does he have teeth? Does Jell-O Man need to eat, too? How does he hear anything without any functioning ears? Is it like reading the sound vibrations across the gelatin form? How are his legs pivoting? Does he have a bone structure? Wobbly appears to be a doglike creature. What are its legs and tail made out of? Eww, it has a tongue!
   
 
'''Contents:''' The Secret of Jell-O Man's Origin!
 
'''Contents:''' The Secret of Jell-O Man's Origin!
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'''Linkara:''' Kool Aid Man did it first! ''(pauses to think about some strange question)'' You know, I'm actually legitimately curious. If the Kool Aid Man boils in space, what happens to Jell-O Man?
 
'''Linkara:''' Kool Aid Man did it first! ''(pauses to think about some strange question)'' You know, I'm actually legitimately curious. If the Kool Aid Man boils in space, what happens to Jell-O Man?
   
'''Linkara (v/o):''' Hell, Jell-O Man is even is even trying to steal the Kool Aid Man's shtick. Look, he's bursting out of a wall. ''(as Kool Aid Man)'' Oh, No!!
+
'''Linkara (v/o):''' Hell, Jell-O Man is even is even trying to steal the Kool Aid Man's shtick. Look, he's bursting out of a wall. ''(as Kool Aid Man)'' Oh, No!! We open with... well, "The Outrageous Origins of Jell-O Man and Wobbly!"
  +
  +
'''Linkara:''' I've barely started this and already it feels like "outrageous" will be an understatement.
  +
  +
'''Linkara (v/o):''' We see two scientists walking into some kind of top-secret laboratory. It's the Secret Jell-O Research Center, according to a sign, not sure why they needed to have that on the inside of the lab, but I'm not a scientist, and we see... um, either images or TV screens featuring planes, boats, and trucks that all have Jell-O written on them.
  +
  +
'''Linkara:''' [[US-1 1|US-1]] never realized that his true enemy was the man in the Jell-O truck.
  +
  +
'''Dr. Snackens:''' It's amazing Dr. Goodtaste!
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  +
'''Linkara:''' Seriously? Doctor Goodtaste?! What kind of a dumbass name is that? Hey, Harvey Finevoice! Can you think of a dumber name than that?
  +
  +
'''Harvey Finevoice:''' ''(offscreen)'' In the middle of something, kid.
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'''Dr. Snackens:''' How can this one computer keep every store in the world stocked with Jell-O desserts?
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  +
''(Clip from a Dr. Insano informercial sketch)''
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'''Dr. Insano:''' With science of course!
  +
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'''Dr. Goodtaste:''' It's simple, Snackens!
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'''Linkara:''' ''(slightly aggrivated) ''"Snackens." I should be pissed off, but really I'm just amazed that he didn't end up as a snack-themed supervillain.
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'''Dr. Goodtaste:''' The computer is programmed to keep track of every store's supply. When they begin to run low, it automatically ships new Jell-O pudding, gelatin and all the rest.
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'''Linkara:''' ''(as Goodtaste)'' We've put thousands of people out of work by making this entirely automated. We're the basis for an episode of The Twilight Zone.
   
 
[...]
 
[...]

Revision as of 19:37, 23 September 2017

The Adventures of Jell-O Man and Wobbly 1

Jello man wobbly linkara

Released
August 4, 2014
Running time
19:54
Previous review
Next review
Tagline
The comic that makes the Adventures of the Kool-Aid Man seem grounded and logical.
Link


(Linkara is on the futon masked with a confused look. He looks up and reads the title of today's episode. Note: If you're watching this on YouTube, you'd be confused about what he's doing, but at Channelawesome.com, it makes more sense.)

Linkara: (long pause) Adventures... (another pause) WHAT?!!

(Opening title with theme, followed by title card, with the opening to "Another Brick in the Wall" by Pink Floyd playing; fade to Linkara still confused looking at the comic)

Linkara: So, kids, wanna have a comic about a food mascot but the Kool-Aid Man is too busy teaming up with Captain Crunch to fight the Soggies? Well, look no more. We've got "Jell-O Man and Wobbly"! (beat) No, seriously. WHAT?!

(Cut to images of the Kool-Aid Man comic)

Linkara (v/o): Okay, speaking of the Kool-Aid Man, some people have questioned my... rather mystified and angry reaction to the mere existence of a comic book based around the Kool-Aid Man. In retrospect, it's probably an overreaction considering the legitimately awful works out there that I've seen: the offensive and the truly brain-numbing. It's just some harmless food comic after all. No, I guess my frustration is just more that the entire process behind its creation. That someone had the idea to get Marvel to make a Kool-Aid Man comic, MULTIPLE Kool-Aid Man comics in fact, and then said about writing them, drawing them, editing them, and just NOBODY in the entire process stopped themselves from making it.

(Clip from Jurassic Park)

Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum): You're so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.

Linkara: But hey, Marvel, you got money out of it, no doubt. You make comics regularly, so this was probably just some sweet business deal for you. (chuckles) Not quite seeing that for this one!

(Cut to a shot of the Jello-Man and Wobbly comic)

Linkara (v/o): Admittedly, the company that did publish the book, Welsh Publishing Group, was eventually sold to Marvel, but I'm almost dead certain that this was made before that sale. What little information I could find on the company indicates that they mostly did licensed stuff, and even then, they were more of a magazine publisher than a comic company. Either way, Kraft Food apparently commissioned this thing as a promotional tie-in, and it wasn't even for sale normally. (looks at the issue cover) It's a "$1.25 value", but that's just equivalent pricing. And yet it's also a "collector's edition!"

Linkara: I'd say we needed a Mr. T trading card to give this collector's edition real value, but honestly, I don't think Mr. T would sacrifice his dignity for this.

(Cut to footage of a Jell-O commercial with Jell-O Man)

Linkara (v/o): I could only find one Jell-O Man commercial on YouTube, where he apparently has the voice of a cooler, more subdued John Wayne. Go figure. I also heard, at the height of The Simpsons' popularity, there was an attempt to get Bart to be the spokesperson for Jell-O. They turned down the idea for it and instead created Jell-O Man. It just goes to show the wisdom that went behind this comic.

Linkara: But is there room in this world for such a thing like Jell-O Man to exist?

(Cut to a clip of Ghostbusters)

Dr. Peter Venkman (Bill Murray): Oh, come on, there's always room for Jell-O.

Linkara: There, got that joke out of the way. (holds up Jell-O Man comic) Let's dig into "The Adventures of Jell-O Man and Wobbly #1".

Linkara (v/o): Before you ask, no, there is no second issue. Yeesh, even the Kool Aid Man got a few issues. Poor Jell-O Man. His existence is already spitting at the face of evolution by being a creature with an O-shaped head and made of a material that is highly edible, but he only gets a one-shot. And what's the deal with his hair? Is it whipped cream? Is it actual hair? Eww, hair on my Jell-O! Oh, but there are so many other questions about his anatomy. The eyebrows, for instance. What are they attached to? Are they attached to him? What are they made out of? Does he have teeth? Does Jell-O Man need to eat, too? How does he hear anything without any functioning ears? Is it like reading the sound vibrations across the gelatin form? How are his legs pivoting? Does he have a bone structure? Wobbly appears to be a doglike creature. What are its legs and tail made out of? Eww, it has a tongue!

Contents: The Secret of Jell-O Man's Origin!

Linkara: The secret is that we consume his kind. (Whispers to the camera) Soylent Green is made from Jell-O.

Contents: Museum Mystery.

Linkara: I should really just do a Let's Play of Museum Madness at some point, but I feel like there's some other Let's Play series I should be working on.

Contents: The Outer Space Case!

Linkara: Kool Aid Man did it first! (pauses to think about some strange question) You know, I'm actually legitimately curious. If the Kool Aid Man boils in space, what happens to Jell-O Man?

Linkara (v/o): Hell, Jell-O Man is even is even trying to steal the Kool Aid Man's shtick. Look, he's bursting out of a wall. (as Kool Aid Man) Oh, No!! We open with... well, "The Outrageous Origins of Jell-O Man and Wobbly!"

Linkara: I've barely started this and already it feels like "outrageous" will be an understatement.

Linkara (v/o): We see two scientists walking into some kind of top-secret laboratory. It's the Secret Jell-O Research Center, according to a sign, not sure why they needed to have that on the inside of the lab, but I'm not a scientist, and we see... um, either images or TV screens featuring planes, boats, and trucks that all have Jell-O written on them.

Linkara: US-1 never realized that his true enemy was the man in the Jell-O truck.

Dr. Snackens: It's amazing Dr. Goodtaste!

Linkara: Seriously? Doctor Goodtaste?! What kind of a dumbass name is that? Hey, Harvey Finevoice! Can you think of a dumber name than that?

Harvey Finevoice: (offscreen) In the middle of something, kid.

Dr. Snackens: How can this one computer keep every store in the world stocked with Jell-O desserts?

(Clip from a Dr. Insano informercial sketch)

Dr. Insano: With science of course!

Dr. Goodtaste: It's simple, Snackens!

Linkara: (slightly aggrivated) "Snackens." I should be pissed off, but really I'm just amazed that he didn't end up as a snack-themed supervillain.

Dr. Goodtaste: The computer is programmed to keep track of every store's supply. When they begin to run low, it automatically ships new Jell-O pudding, gelatin and all the rest.

Linkara: (as Goodtaste) We've put thousands of people out of work by making this entirely automated. We're the basis for an episode of The Twilight Zone.

[...]

Linkara (v/o): Our final story is... "The Outer Space Case".

Jell-o Man: This certainly was a cool idea, Wobbly-- introducing the kids of the planet Gumongo to great-tasting Jell-o Gelatin.

Linkara: (losing his sanity) HOW DID YOU GET INTO SPACE?! HOW DID YOU GET INTO SPACE?!!! (runs up to the camera and shakes it around) HOW!!! DID YOU!!! GET INTO SPA-A-A-A-A-A--

(static; "technical difficulties" sign; more static)

(Linkara lying on the futon with his glasses askew on his face)

Linkara: (faint) How did you get into space? How did you get into space?

Linkara (v/o): The planet is inhabited by these pink sea monkey-looking things who are eating Jell-o and also by this demonic creature who has shovels for hands. From what I gathered, he is known as The Shoveler... Y-y-y-yep.

Shoveler: (thought bubble) Also, you've introduced me to a new place to steal Jell-o Gelatin.

Linkara: (losing his sanity yet again) IT'S SOLD IN GROCERY STORES!! JUST STEAL IT FROM THERE!!! JUST STEAL IT FROM THE GROCERY STORE!! AAAAAAHHH!!!

This guide is not complete. Please finish.