The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland

Elmo in grouchland nc.jpg

Release Date
August 5, 2020
Running Time
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(The Channel Awesome logo is shown, followed by the NC title sequence)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. (The poster for The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland is shown in the corner and he gestures toward it with his thumb) Believe it or not, I'm not reviewing this because it was requested.

(Shots of Elmo are shown as soft, gentle music plays)

NC (vo): I always saw Elmo as the embodiment of pure innocence. With his wide-eyed look and curious demeanor, I always felt if we looked at the world the same way he did, perhaps we'd all be slightly better pe–

NC: (abruptly sour tone) Of course I'm doing it because it was requested.

(The title of the movie is shown, before showing its clips)

NC (vo): Sorry to disappoint some fans, but I was never that big into Elmo. On the one hand, that's not really surprising. He appeared well past when I stopped watching Sesame Street. (Images of various preschool shows, past and present, are shown) But there's other kids' media past my time that I have no problem with, even if I like to poke fun at them just to see people go nuts.

(A poster of Pokemon is shown next to NC. NC quickly puts a "LAME" caption onto the poster, causing the audience to boo)

NC: Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! I'm so dangerous! Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!

NC (vo): I think Elmo got on my nerves the same reason Barney or Teletubbies got on my nerves: overexposure. Elmo was everywhere. You couldn't go into a store without seeing balloons wanting to give you the happiest impalement. (An image of an Elmo balloon in a supermarket is shown, then is shown in close-up with a fire burning and a haunting choir briefly heard) Christ! He was the most sought after toy in 1996, with fights breaking out and some selling for over a thousand dollars... (Footage of a real-life supermarket fight involving the Tickle-Me Elmo is shown, along with some clips of a Tickle-Me Elmo itself) ...all for this nightmare fuel that looks like he's having a seizure and pleasing himself at the same time.

(Another clip of a Tickle-Me Elmo is shown, with the doll heard laughing)

NC (vo): I'll say it again. Christ! Had he just stayed on children's television and wasn't all over the place, I probably wouldn't mind him so much. But because his dead eyes, squeaky chalkboard voice, and demon-red face stared at me wherever I went, he did get under my skin a bit. Well, in 1999, at the height of his popularity... (The film's worldwide box office gross is shown to be $3.255.033 at 1,210 theaters, with the budget being $26 million) ...ish, they made The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland. Though critical feedback was fair, the craze didn't exactly last very long as it made less than half its budget back. It's almost like a lot of changes between what kids like at three and what they like at six. (Two images are shown, one of a three-year-old girl cuddling an Elmo doll with the caption "Yay, Elmo!", and another of a six-year-old girl with an angry glare with the caption "Get that shit away from me.") And, yes, I know it's odd to review something meant for little, little kids, but I guess it would be good to figure out why Elmo was such a sensation, and, I don't know, my inner child still has a soft spot for Sesame Street, so maybe I am a little curious to check it out. Is it worth the overwhelming "eh" it's gotten over the years?

NC: There's only one way to find out. This is a grown man reviewing Elmo in Grouchland.

(The movie starts with Ernie and Bert, who is wrapped in a shower towel and carrying a brush, speaking to the audience in front of a blue background)

NC (vo): The film opens with Bert and Ernie. And, no, I won't be making any gay jokes. I feel I've grown far beyond that.

Ernie: (to the viewers) Welcome to the movie. We're so glad you came.

(NC immediately bites his hand hard enough for it to bleed while groaning loudly)

Bert: Ernie, listen. I'm going to take a shower. Have you seen my anti-bacterial soap?

NC: Not quite as bad, but still... (Bites his hand and groans again)

Bert: Ernie, who are you talking to?

Ernie: The audience, Bert. They're right there.

NC: (as Ernie) Both of them look very excited to be here.

(Bert looks at the audience)

Bert: Hey! Nice cardigan.

NC: Now that I believe. Whoever saw this movie definitely wore a cardigan.

(After Ernie and Bert lead the audience in counting backwards from 10 to start the movie, it begins to start with a blue, cloudy sky and a music score playing)

Ernie: Hey, Bert, don't you think you ought to put some clothes on now?

Bert: What?

NC: (as Bert) You mean you won't be sculpting me again today? (After a beat, he speaks normally as the past clip of him biting his hand is shown in the corner) Sorry, my wrist hurt.

(The movie officially starts, showing Elmo in his bedroom and waking up. In his bedroom wall is a poster of Tiger Woods, which is shown in a close-up)

NC (vo): The film officially opens with our die-hard Tiger Woods fan...

NC: (shrugs) Now we know.

NC (vo): ...waking up and addressing the audience.

Elmo: (to the viewers) Elmo wants to show you something. It's Elmo's favorite thing in the whole world!

NC: (as Elmo) People willing to kill each other to get a vibrated version of me. (The real-life Tickle-Me Elmo fight is shown again) That's power you can't buy! (Does Elmo's signature laugh, which quickly escalates into maniacal laughter as lightning strikes and thunder is heard)

NC (vo): No, it's his blanket, which appears to be missing.

(Elmo speaks to the viewers as his blanket is shown behind him, hanging on a hat rack)

Elmo: Have you seen Elmo's blanket?

Kids in the audience: Yes!

Elmo: Where?

NC (vo): Eh, at least they fill in the awkward silence that shows like Dora the Explorer will leave quiet. How can you not shout inappropriate things when they ask you to participate?

(A clip from Dora the Explorer is shown)

Dora: Can you say "Rapido"?

NC (vo; as an angry viewer): Bone yourself! I'm not Google translat...

Dora: Say "Rapido"!

NC (vo): You're not even listening to me. I hope your bag eats you!

Dora and Boots: Rapido!

NC (vo): You passed the same tree five times.

(Elmo sees his blanket on the hat rack)

Elmo: Oh, there you are!

NC (vo): He finds his blanket and, naturally, sings a song about it.

(Elmo sings the first part of "Together Forever", describing his bond with his blanket, which takes on a life of its own during this sequence. At one point, Elmo, dressed as an Indian flute player, plays the song on a flute, while his blanket rises out of a basket in the manner of a cobra)

NC: (looking uneasy as the caption of what he is saying is shown) Problematic.

NC (vo): I do have to give credit how clever the puppet work is on the blanket. I mean, it's Jim Henson and Sesame Street, so, of course, the puppetry is gonna be good, but it's a decent illusion how they make that thing look flat yet lively. (Elmo is then shown washing his blanket at the laundromat, where the rest of the gang from Sesame Street are also at, dancing and making music) And it does make more sense to bring his blanket to life than, say, Big Bird's socks.

(A group of living socks come out of Big Bird's basket and scat to the music)

NC: Those couldn't fit on his feet, so what on Earth does he do with them? (A "Stop" sign is shown with a caption saying "YOU KNOW WHERE THIS JOKE IS GOING", as a buzzer sound is heard) Good call.

(At one point, Elmo puts his blanket in the drier and watches as the drier does its work. This is shown in the blanket's perspective)

NC: Fun fact, that's literally what the tunnel to Hell looks like.

(The moment of Elmo watching his blanket in the drier is shown with a haunting choir heard in the background. Elmo successfully washes his blanket, while he and the rest of the gang from Sesame Street sing "Together Forever", then Elmo leaves the laundromat, where he comes across his best friend Zoe)

NC (vo): Elmo washes his blanket...oh, we got through the first major conflict of the movie...and he comes across Zoe, who's depressed.

Zoe: I really, really wanted to go to the zoo today. But my daddy had to work, so he couldn't take me.

NC: Oh, immediately hooked!

NC (vo): Elmo says he can bring the zoo to Zoe, and pretends to be different animals.

Zoe: What are you? A lion?

Elmo: Yeah, yeah, yeah. (Mimics a monkey, getting Zoe in on the fun)

Zoe: Oh, that's a monkey! (Elmo then starts making snorting noses) Oh, I know, I know!

NC: (as Zoe) Your puppeteer did too much blow last night?

Elmo: No. Elmo has something in his nose.

NC: Same thing.

(Zoe notices Elmo's blanket, and Elmo reluctantly allows her to hold it for a bit, but a few seconds later, Elmo begins demanding it back)

NC (vo): Zoe really likes his blanket, but Elmo can't seem to part with it, even for a few seconds.

Elmo: Elmo wants his blanket back now.

Zoe: In a minute, Elmo.

Elmo: No, not in a minute, Zoe! Now! Now!

NC (vo; as Elmo): Don't make Elmo cut you! DON'T MAKE ELMO CUT YOU!

(Elmo and Zoe get into a tug of war over the blanket, ending up giving the blanket a slight rip. Elmo's shocked and angry response is suddenly dubbed over by censoring beeps)

NC: (smiling) Well, that's a new vocabulary that kids can learn.

(In anger, Elmo declares that Zoe is not his friend anymore, but the argument is interrupted by Telly Monster, who is rollerskating out of control, and he accidentally takes the blanket, leading Elmo to chase him around the street. The chase gets noticed by Grover, who was waiting a table with the long-suffering Mr. Johnston)

NC (vo): He says he doesn't want to be her friend anymore, but his blanket is put into even more peril. A familiar waiter decides to help.

Grover: This looks like a job for Super Grover! (Transforms into his superhero form)

NC: One day, we'll learn his secret identity.

Mr. Johnston: But what about breakfast?

Super Grover: No, thank you, sir. I cannot fly on a full stomach.

NC: (smiling) This is why there's an Alex Ross painting of you. (An image of said painting is shown) Never change.

(At one point in the chase, Telly accidentally bumps into Cookie Monster, who was carrying a plate of cookies, and causes CM to spin around on the hotel's revolving doors so much, he drops his cookies and falls to the ground. The blanket ends up falling into the hands of Oscar the Grouch, who immediately throws it in his trash can and walks off)

NC (vo): Speaking of characters I hope never change... (An image of Cookie Monster with vegetables is shown) ...nah, we're too late for that one...Oscar the Grouch gets the blanket and tosses it into the garbage.

(Elmo opens the trash can and begins shouting for Oscar)

Elmo: Oscar, bring Elmo's blanket back! Elmo needs his blanket back now! Oscar! Oscar!

NC (vo; as Elmo): Elmo will pour acid into your home! YOU WILL DIE!

Gina: Take it easy. Calm down.

(Elmo sends all the rest of the Sesame Street gang away to leave him alone at Oscar's trash can. Unable to wait any longer for Oscar to come back, he jumps into the can and into Oscar's big home)

NC (vo): Elmo jumps into Oscar's can...though that does sound like Bert and Ernie's domain...

NC: (laughs) I swear that's the last... (Immediately speaks seriously) I'm not making that promise.

NC (vo): ...and Elmo discovers Oscar's place is much bigger on the inside. (Elmo finds his blanket caught in a door handle, but accidentally opens the door, causing both him and his blanket to get sucked into a colorful portal) Oh, and there's a portal to a parallel dimension. You know, Sesame Street!

(Elmo flies through the colorful portal while spinning around)

NC: You must at least be this high in order to watch further. (An image of a man smoking weed is shown)

(Bert and Ernie suddenly come in and stop the movie)

Bert: (scared) Ernie, Ernie!

Ernie: What's the matter, Bert?

Bert: What's happening to Elmo?

NC: (as Ernie) It's called LSD. It's like pretending, but with panic attacks.

(Elmo eventually finds himself in a new place, which turns out to be Grouchland, populated by Grouches and filled with various amounts of garbage)

NC (vo): Elmo ends up in Grouchland, which is, of course, messy, disgusting, and unpleasant. And that's just their music.

(All the Grouches sing "Welcome to Grouchland". At one point, four Grouches dressed as businessmen march along)

Grouches: (singing) Bring in the junk, step on a crack, step in the gunk.

NC: Okay, that one's literally Oscar, just with a nose! (One of the Grouch businessmen is shown to have a similar appearance to Oscar) Super Grover was disguised better!

(A giant red helicopter suddenly arrives and rampages around Grouchland, stealing all sorts of items from various Grouches. The rampage is halted when Elmo shouts at the helicopter to stop)

NC (vo): But a giant helicopter lands, stealing a bunch of people's belongings. But Elmo tells him to stop.

(The driver of the helicopter steps out and confronts Elmo and the rest of the Grouch citizens. The driver is a man named Huxley)

NC (vo; in a cool-sounding voice): Daniel Day-Lewis in his finest role.

Elmo: It's not nice to take things [that don't belong to you].

Huxley: It all belongs to me. If I touch it, I own it.

NC (vo): This is Huxley, played by Mandy "Hello, my name is Princess Bride joke" Patinkin, who says he owns whatever he wants, including Elmo's blanket.

(Huxley reveals to a shocked Elmo that he has his blanket, and claims it as his own. Huxley's assistant, a bug named Bug, pops out of the helicopter)

Bug: Very lovely.

Huxley: (turning to face Bug) You really know how to ruin a villainous moment, don't you? (Bug makes a nervous sound) Now get in the cartoonishly evil vehicle and drive!

NC: (shrugs) All right. That took care of that joke. (Brings out a pen and ticks on something)

Huxley: (to Elmo) I have to get home to take a nap with my brand new wooby. (Walks back to his copter while jumping as he does so) Whoo!

NC: (as Huxley) Oh, excuse me. Just passed a kidney stone.

Huxley: (stepping into the copter and taunting Elmo in a high voice) Say bye-bye, wooby!

Elmo: (angered) It's a blanket!

(Both Huxley and Elmo begin bickering back and forth)

Huxley: Wooby!

Elmo: Blanket!

Huxley: Wooby!

Elmo: Blanket!

Huxley: Wooby!

Elmo: Blanket!

Huxley: Wooby!

Elmo: Blanket!

NC: Remember that deleted scene from Alien...

(That about-to-be-mentioned deleted scene from Alien is shown)

NC (vo): ...where Dallas pleaded with Ripley to kill him because what he was going through was so awful?

Dallas: (slowly) Kill me.

NC: (points to the film's moment of Elmo and Huxley bickering) This! (Struggles not to lose it) This!

(Huxley starts his helicopter and flies away. Elmo immediately attempts to ask several Grouches for help)

NC (vo): It does lead to one of my favorite lines in the film, though.

Elmo: Can you please help Elmo get his blanket back?

Newspaper grouch: I'd love to, but I don't speak English.

Elmo: But... (The grouch walks away)

NC: (nodding) This place is growing on me.

(Elmo is suddenly met by a little Grouch girl named Grizzy, whom Elmo saved earlier during Huxley's rampage. She guides Elmo to the place where Huxley lives, a castle at Mt. Pikanose, which is far away from where they're standing. Nearby, Bug is watching with a camera on his head)

NC (vo): A little girl named Grizzy says he'll show him Huxley's location, but doesn't think it'll do him any good.

Grizzy: You go there, you might never make it back home again.

NC: Promise?

(Grizzy leaves for home, leaving Elmo to wonder how he's going to get to Huxley's castle, until a talking plant named Stuckweed speaks with him, before he and a group of animals sing "Take the First Step" to him, as Elmo gets the nerve to go on his journey)

NC (vo): Elmo goes off on his own, but comes across the local plant life. They get a song, too.

Stuckweed: (singing) Elmo, get your chin up. Things could be worse.

NC (vo): It's another pretty forgettable tune with a pretty weak melody, but on the plus side, it does give us some of the best green screen dancing since Labyrinth. (The clip of the "Firefly" sequence from Labyrinth is briefly shown)

(Elmo performs various dance moves during the song)

Stuckweed: (singing) One foot and the other...

NC (vo; as Elmo): This one I call the "Heart Attack".

Stuckweed: (singing) You can feel the rhythm down [deep in your knees].

NC (vo; as Elmo): This one I call "There's a Vibrator in Elmo".

Stuckweed: (singing) Destiny is calling.

NC (vo; as Elmo): This one I call "Showing Mercy 'Cause I'm Walking Away".

(At Huxley's lair, Huxley and his gang of bug henchmen called Pesties watch Elmo, who is vowing to get his blanket back, on a television)

NC (vo): But Huxley sees Elmo is on his way.

(Bug appears on the television)

Bug: Shouldn't we do something?

Huxley: Ordinarily, I would. But I am feeling a bit saucy today, eh?

NC: Did he just refer to himself as "saucy"?

Huxley: But I am feeling a bit saucy today, eh?

NC: Well, now I have no choice but to play this.

(A clip from The Princess Bride is shown)

Inigo Montoya: I do not think it means what you think it means.

(Back to the movie)

NC (vo): He does this...

Huxley: Maybe if I look at it this way... (Puts his hands on his eyes in the manner of holding binoculars for a brief moment) Whoo!

NC: (confused) Your guess is as good as mine.

(Huxley orders Bug and the Pesties to come up with an idea to stop Elmo. Meanwhile, the rest of the Sesame Street gang, consisting of Gordon, Maria, Big Bird, Oscar, Zoe, and Cookie Monster, have arrived in Grouchland)

NC (vo): ...and he orders his henchmen to watch Elmo. Meanwhile, Elmo's friends follow him to Grouchland and try to find him.

(Big Bird and Zoe notice something)

Big Bird: There's a police officer.

Zoe: Yeah, let's ask him for help.

(The scene immediately cuts to the Sesame Street gang being locked up in a prison cell, as it's actually against the law to ask someone for help in Grouchland)

NC: (confused) Topical...?

(Meanwhile, Bug and the Pesties place a sign towards Huxley's Castle next to a cave, causing Elmo to walk into it, and the Pesties then shut the cave, trapping Elmo inside. Guided by fireflies, however, Elmo notices a mine cart in a track, and begins riding on it)

NC (vo): Huxley's henchmen trick Elmo to go the wrong way, trapping him in a cave. He finds a mine cart, and, of course, goes riding in it.

(Elmo drives the mine cart through the caves while laughing and enjoying the ride, until he suddenly begins heading toward an apparent dead end)

Elmo: Uh-oh! (screams)

(We instantly cut to a clip from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, showing a mine cart with Thuggees on it flying off of the tracks, crashing through a bridge, and falling into the water)

NC: Sorry. I was just giving you the ending you all wanted to see.

(We go to a commercial. When we come back, we see Elmo's mine cart breaking through the dead end, freeing Elmo from the cave and allowing him to continue on his way, much to Huxley's shock and annoyance)

NC (vo): Elmo makes his way out of the cave, angering Huxley so much, he sings a cheerful song about it.

(Huxley sings "Make it Mine", which explains his villainy and his motives)

Huxley: (singing) Some may call it greed. It's not, it's need. A need I love to feed, the need to have a lot.

NC: Okay, full disclosure, I kind of like this song.

NC (vo): Maybe because it's the villain song, and those are always my favorite, but even excluding that, it has good rhythm, good lyrics, and I swear the ghost of every Steve Martin performance he said he wouldn't do because he said it was too over-the-top.

Huxley: Oh, my favorite teddy bear! Oh, my yo-yo! I love my yo-yo!

(The song sequence "Dentist" from Little Shop of Horrors is shown alongside this film's sequence)

NC (vo; as Huxley, singing): I am your dance, magic dance!

(In the last part of the song, Huxley pulls out various items from his hat while singing in an extremely quick manner)

Huxley: (singing) When umbrellas disappear, they're not lost, they're all here. With the keys you cannot find, pens and mittens left behind. Got 'em locked up in a box with a million missing socks. An army guy, a glove, here it is, oh, how I love...

NC: Move over, Hamilton... (The CD cover for Hamilton is shown below NC, but it's not in the center) ...'cause you're not centered. (The CD now moves to the center) There you go. You're still the best, but this song's pretty good.

(After the song, Huxley relaxes in his chair and kisses his hands briefly, before speaking with Bug about their next move to stop Elmo)

NC (vo): After...kissing himself...I'm actually surprised he's the first person I've seen do that... (Images of Jared Leto, Kanye West, and Oprah Winfrey are shown) ...he admits he wanted his singing voice to take him places.

Huxley: I almost performed in the bus and truck tour of West Side Story. They said I wasn't right for Maria. What do they know? I feel pretty.

NC: (looking weirded out as the caption of what he is saying is shown) Problematic? No, no. There's never a question mark in the end of that. (The question mark is removed) Everything's always problematic!

(Elmo is shown continuing on his journey, until he suddenly encounters Bug, who is disguised as a construction worker while holding a jackhammer. Bug guides Elmo to a direction where the Queen of Trash is, saying it's a quicker way to Huxley's castle)

NC (vo): Huxley instructs his henchmen to take Elmo to the Queen of Trash... (A poster for the Netflix show, "The Goop Lab" with Gwyneth Paltrow, appears onscreen), the other one...and they once again lead him in a different direction.

Elmo: (telling Bug he's "very nice") Thank you.

(He hugs Bug and leaves, causing Bug to become stunned, as he never experienced kindness before)

Bug: He hugged me. (Accidentally activates his jackhammer and bounces away) Whoa!

NC: I used all those jokes for Bert and Ernie. I think the symbolism speaks for itself.

(Footage focusing on the film's production design, mostly on Grouchland, is shown)

NC (vo): You know, the best part of this movie is, unsurprisingly, Grouchland.

NC: So...isn't it a little weird that there's barely any Grouchland in it, especially when it's in the title?

NC (vo): It's mostly just open fields and generic locations. The most unique place in the entire movie isn't onscreen very long! (The poster for Brazil is shown) It's like calling a film Brazil when it has nothing to do with Brazil, but you know some pretentious prick somewhere would love the hell out of that.

(Elmo wanders into a darker place, where he is confronted by several trash-like beings, who serve the Queen of Trash)

Trash Guard: You're going to see our queen.

Elmo: Queen?

Trash Guard: Yeah.

(The guards take Elmo to the trash kingdom, where the Queen of Trash rises up and performs "I See a Kingdom" along with living, breathing forms of trash)

NC (vo): Elmo makes it to the Queen of Trash, played by... (The Queen is first shown in shadow) Oh, God! Another dancing Uhura! (The Queen reveals herself) Phew! Okay, Vanessa Williams. And again, I'll give props. It's not Grouchland, but this garbage kingdom is pretty creative. I like these weird creatures and landscapes made out of junk, and the Queen of Trash makes me feel things I shouldn't in a Sesame Street movie.

Trash Guard: (to Elmo) Hey, hey, hey! That's very inappropriate!

Elmo: Sorry.

Trash Guard: Settle down!

NC (vo): Williams sings a very nice song, but it comes out of nowhere, connects to little, and...I'm sorry. This was Huxley's evil plan of torturing someone? It seems...nice. It's like punishing Captain Kirk by sending him to a harem of green women. I don't think you know how this works.

(After the song, the Queen of Trash suddenly speaks with Elmo, accusing him of being a spy for Huxley)

Elmo: Elmo just wants to get his blanket back from Huxley, because it's mine!

Queen of Trash: Well, you certainly sound like Huxley.

(Upon hearing that, Elmo suddenly remembers the moment he was fighting with Zoe over his blanket, and immediately becomes regretful)

NC (vo): The Queen makes Elmo think about how similar he is to Huxley and how possessive he is of his blanket. She says, though, if he's willing to give something, he would pass the Ultimate Challenge.

Queen of Trash: You see, Huxley could never give anyone anything. Now, if you're able to give, then you pass the Ultimate Challenge, and you're free to go.

NC: (as Elmo) I have a finger I can give. Wait. (Counts his fingers) One, two, three, four. No, that doesn't work.

Elmo: What does Elmo have to give?

Queen of Trash: 100 raspberries. Like this. Watch. (Blows a long raspberry)

NC: Well, I didn't know Vanessa Williams sticking her tongue out at me in a Sesame Street movie would be a new fetish, but my boner never lies. Though he is very confused.

Queen of Trash: 100 raspberries in...30 seconds.

NC (vo; as Elmo): Elmo doesn't even have a tongue. Can we do a blinking contest?

(The Queen of Trash sits next to the raspberry counter)

Queen of Trash: Ready, set, let's go!

(She activates the clock, setting it to 30 seconds. Elmo then speaks to the viewers)

Elmo: Can you please help Elmo do raspberries like this? (Starts making raspberries, causing the counter to go up)

NC (vo): He asks the kids in the audience to help...

NC: I'm starting to see why a lot of parents hated this movie.

NC (vo): ...arousing the Queen of Trash...

Queen of Trash: (in an earlier moment) Ooh! That sends shivers down my spine! (Back to the current scene, where the raspberry counter has reached 90 due to the combined efforts of Elmo and the viewers) Oh, I love raspberries!

(Confused-sounding noises are heard from below NC)

NC: I know, boner. I'm not sure what to think of it either.

(Elmo wins the Ultimate Challenge and is allowed by the Queen of Trash to continue on his journey. Huxley sees that Elmo made it past that obstacle and makes a desperate move to stop him once and for all, by unleashing his "secret weapon" on Elmo)

NC (vo): ...and he wins the challenge. Huxley sees Elmo escape and he unleashes his biggest weapon: a giant chicken.

(Huxley's secret weapon, a giant chicken, confronts Elmo, mistaking him for a worm)

Chicken: Hey, you dinner. Stop running away from me.

NC (vo): All right, this scene could be saved if a certain dick-nosed puppet enters the picture... (An image of Gonzo the Great is about to be shown, until it is suddenly replaced with an image of...) Alf.

NC: Yeah, forgot there were two, didn't you?

(Elmo convinces the chicken that he's not a worm, but upon learning that, the chicken just throws Elmo away. Huxley watches this from his TV, satisfied that Elmo is apparently dealt with. Meanwhile, Grizzy visits the Sesame Street gang in prison and reveals what Elmo is doing, and Oscar convinces all the Grouches to stand up and fight against Huxley for their stolen items. The next morning, Elmo, who is close to giving up on his journey, is sleeping on a rocky space, and ends up being woken up by a Caterpillar)

NC (vo): No, the chicken just throws him far away, but back at the prison, Oscar inspires the other Grouches to rise up against Huxley. Meanwhile, Elmo comes across a caterpillar, and he tells him how he doesn't want to be like Huxley, and doesn't need to have the blanket be his anymore...

Elmo: (sounding tearful and still in regret over what he did to Zoe earlier) Elmo didn't get his blanket back! (We instantly cut to a later part of the scene, showing Elmo regaining his nerve) Don't worry, blanket! Elmo's coming!

NC: Or the exact opposite of what the moral is. (Beat) You have one job, Sesame Street: teach anything, and you can't even do that!

(After the Caterpillar convinces Elmo to believe in himself despite the fact that he's a little monster, Elmo regains his resolve and heads over to Huxley's castle, breaking in and stealing his blanket right from Huxley's hand)

NC (vo): The caterpillar gives him the motivation to keep going, and he bursts in, demanding his blanket back.

(The Pesties suddenly confront Elmo and push him into a basket, which is lifted up by a large claw remote-controlled by Huxley and dragged near Huxley's machine which labels all the stolen items as "Mine". Huxley declares that both Elmo and his blanket are his and turns on the machine while laughing maniacally)

Elmo: No!

Huxley: (mocking Elmo's voice) Yes!

Elmo: No!

Huxley: Yes!

Elmo: No!

Huxley: Yes!

Elmo: No!

Huxley: Yes!

Elmo: No!

Huxley: Yes!

Elmo: No!

(We cut back to the deleted scene from Alien)

Dallas: Kill me.

(The rest of the Sesame Street gang, having been freed from prison earlier, suddenly arrive, and so do an army of Grouches, led by Oscar)

NC (vo): Elmo's friends, though, make it just in time and stop Huxley.

Oscar the Grouch: It's over, Huxley! Get him!

NC: Okay, is it me, or did it sound like he said "kill him"?

(The moment of Oscar yelling "Get him!" is shown, and it does sound slightly like "Kill him!")

NC (vo; as Oscar): Put their stuffing where his blood is and put his blood where their stuffing is!

(Elmo breaks loose from Huxley's trap and lands straight onto a board, which slingshots a basket onto Huxley, trapping him. Bug is then revealed to have Elmo's blanket, but he, tired of Huxley's greediness, gives the blanket back to Elmo)

NC (vo): The Bug, though, gives Elmo his blanket back, regretting ever working with Huxley.

Huxley: (to Bug) I thought we were friends.

Bug: No. You're a greedy, selfish villain, and nobody likes to be friends with a greedy, selfish villain.

NC: I thought you were preparing the kids for real life lessons.

(Having finally got his blanket back, Elmo returns home along with the rest of his friends. Once there, Elmo apologizes to Zoe for his selfishness earlier and the two reconcile their friendship, with Elmo even allowing Zoe to hold his blanket)

NC (vo): They all return to Sesame Street, and Elmo apologizes for hurting Zoe's feelings.

Zoe: (holding the blanket) Wow. I can hold it?

Elmo: Sure. What could happen?

(A Photoshopped explosion suddenly appears on the scene)

NC: Again, giving you the ending you all wanted to see.

(The whole gang of Sesame Street dances and sings with each other, as Ernie and Bert return to close the movie)

NC (vo): Bert and Ernie bookend the movie by closing the film out.

Bert: Yeah, it's a happy ending.

Ernie: Yep. (Speaks to the viewers) And thank you all for helping.

NC: (as Ernie) You did a lot more in this movie than we did.

Bert (voiced by NC; off-screen): And our faces are a lot more than your lives.

NC: (as Ernie) Bert!

Bert (voiced by NC; off-screen): Well, it's true.

(Footage of the movie plays once more as NC gives his final thought)

NC (vo): And that was The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland. I mean, it’s…not good, but…like the Barney movie, how can I be that mad at it? Elmo, I guess, has that excitable innocence that a lot of children have, so it’s not surprising so many kids enjoy him. But unlike the other Sesame Street characters, that charm doesn’t stretch into adulthood, at least for me, anyway. I know these characters aren’t the Muppets, who always aim for kids and adults, but there is still a weight to their personalities that keep us anchored to them. Elmo is just a nice character, no more, no less. And being nice isn’t awful, it’s just not always that interesting. I definitely prefer something like Follow That Bird, which I found was more difficult to make jokes for, because the characters still felt so real so many years later. Maybe it’s because I didn’t grow up with him, but Elmo never felt real to me. But it is a big bar set against him with these characters, and, hey, I guess he felt real to a lot of other kids, tramplingly so. (The supermarket fight involving the Tickle-Me Elmo is shown once more) Aside from the message, which I think really gets sidetracked in parts, the film is totally fine for kids. I just don’t think it’s gonna have the lasting power of other Muppet or Sesame Street properties. But I don’t know. What are your thoughts? Did you grow up with Elmo? Did you like him, hate him? Did your feelings on him change overtime? I’m actually really curious. Whatever your thoughts, this movie’s definitely not going to be breaking any records anytime soon.

NC: Besides, they're on HBO now. I'm sure they could do a lot with that.

(A clip from Westworld is shown, specifically the moment of Peter Abernathy confronting Dr. Peter Ford and Bernard Lowe; Abernathy is replaced with a Photoshopped image of Elmo)

Peter Abernathy: I shall have such revenges on you...both.

NC: I'm so looking forward to that crossover.* I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. (Gets up and leaves)

  • Note: The irony of NC's statement is that Sesame Street and Westworld did crossover with each other, on a commercial called "Respect World".

Channel Awesome Tagline: Huxley: Wooby!

Elmo: Blanket!

Huxley: Wooby!

Elmo: Blanket!

Huxley: Wooby!

Elmo: Blanket!

(The credits roll)

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