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Terminator 2: Judgment Day
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Release Date
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March 10, 2021
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Running Time
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31:03
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Previous Review
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Next Review
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TBA
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Link
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(The Channel Awesome logo is shown, followed by the "TERMONTHNATOR MONTH" title. Cut to NC as he sits, pondering something and then looking up to see he's on camera. He feels rather embarrassed)
NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. (sighs) Apologies. You've caught in the middle of kind of an embarrassing therapy session.
(NC's therapist, named Dr. Pity (Malcolm), is shown in his office)
Dr. Pity: Now, now, Critic. There's nothing wrong with therapy.
NC: But this just seems so...silly.
Dr. Pity: Critic, as the world's most sought-after "First World Problem" psychiatrist, I've heard it all.
(Tamara's voice is heard from Dr. Pity's phone)
Tamara (vo): Dr. Pity, your 5:00 says your best friend didn't like your Instagram post.
Dr. Pity: Tell her that's a class 2 emergency. I'm only taking class 3s for now.
NC: I just have what...seems like a little problem, but I just know I'm blowing it out of proportion.
Tamara (vo): Dr. Pity, your 6:00 says the Starbucks Barista got his name wrong.
Dr. Pity: Move them up to four.
NC: How do you deal with something like this?
Dr. Pity: Well, have you portrayed yourself as both the hero and the victim?
NC: Yes.
Dr. Pity: Have you complained on social media instead of talking to friends?
NC: Of course.
Dr. Pity: Have you declared your life is just like that drama, Curb Your Enthusiasm?
NC: Yes, yes, I've done all of that.
Tamara (vo): Dr. Pity, your 2:00 says they saw a black person
Dr. Pity: And?
Tamara (vo): (beat) That's it.
Dr. Pity: Tell her to drink a bottle of Raid and all will be right with the world.
NC: Doctor, is there any hope for me?
Dr. Pity: Well, I don't think you said yet what the actual problem is.
NC: Oh, yes, of course. Sorry. You see...I started Terminator Month, and Terminator 2 might be too perfect a movie for me to critique.
(A few moments of silence pass as Dr. Pity emotionlessly stares at a nervous NC)
Dr. Pity: Did you hear that prescription of Raid I gave you earlier?
NC: Yeah.
Dr. Pity: So you probably wouldn't fall for that.
NC: I'm gonna say no.
Dr. Pity: Ah.
(The title of Terminator 2: Judgment Day is shown, before showing various clips)
NC (vo): There's a bit of a stigma against action movies. Oh, not from the general public, they're popular as hell. I'm talking about with critics and film historians. While everyone agrees they're often a lot of fun, they're not given much attention as great art. (Posters of The Dark Knight and Black Panther are shown) There are some that break the mold, pushing complex stories and characters, but for the most part, action films are seen as just an enjoyable waste of time. This is a shame, because 1991's Terminator 2: Judgment Day is about as flawless an action film as you can get. Big on mind-blowing ideas? Not especially. Characters as complex as Tennessee Williams? I wouldn't go that far. But think of comedies that (images of...) Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin did. Some are deep and meaningful, but others just give people a good time in the most spectacular way, and they're hailed as classics. Terminator 2 is a classic in the same way. It pushes the envelope, not just in technology, but also stunts, imagination, and clever storytelling. It's one of those films that's hard to find anything wrong with it, and this is a movie that stars the Jingle All the Way guy as an intimidating killing machine, with an accent nobody ever questions. I enjoy using comedy as a means to review something because I think it can offer a unique and interesting point of view. But I'm not gonna lie, that's gonna be tricky using comedy to review something that I think is virtually flawless.
Dr. Pity: Well, Critic, the answer is clear. Just do your best to review it.
NC: You think so?
Dr. Pity: Yes. If it doesn't work, the Internet is always open and kind. I'm sure they'll forgive you.
NC: That's true. I did underestimate the loving nature of online culture.
Dr. Pity: So give it your best and never call here again.
NC: (sounding confident) Will do, Doctor. (Taps his fist on his table)
Tamara (vo): Dr. Pity, your 1:00 says he had to make small talk and didn't know what to talk about.
Dr. Pity: Cancel all my appointments. I'll see him right away.
Tamara (vo): Yes, Doctor.
(The phone beeps as a caller answers it)
Dr. Pity: Hello? I'm listening.
(The caller is revealed to be a highly-nervous Zack Snyder (Walter), who is calling from his home)
Zack Snyder: She said she never saw any of my movies! I didn't know what to do!
(Cut back to NC)
NC: Let's take a look at what I consider an action masterpiece. This is Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
(The film opens with the reveal of dozens of rotting skulls and skeletons in the aftermath of an explosion at a playground)
NC (vo): The film opens, familiarly enough, with the future still being in ashes. I think this film had a bit more of a budget than 6.5 million this time.
Sarah Connor (narrating): Three billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997.
NC: (as Sarah) We didn't think releasing Air Bud would have this big an effect. (The poster for Air Bud is shown)
(The film cuts to the year 2029, showcasing a huge battle between the machines of Skynet and the human resistance, led by John Connor)
NC (vo): The film does a good job catching you up, and honestly works as a stand-alone sequel. Many people, including myself, saw this one prior to the first film. My only criticism? It does way too good a job making me want to play the arcade game again.
(Footage of the battle is shown alongside footage of the film's arcade game version)
NC: I could've gone to college twice with the amount of quarters that thing guzzled.
(John Connor is shown leading the attack)
Sarah (narrating): Skynet sent two Terminators back through time to destroy the leader of the human resistance, John Connor.
NC: Oh, whoops. Our bad. This resistance is led by John Walsh.
(An image of John Walsh is shown next to John Connor, before we immediately cut to footage of John Walsh from his show, America's Most Wanted)
John Walsh: Police need your help to find a convicted killer. (An image of the T-1000 is shown next to Walsh)
(The film's opening credits are shown, before cutting to the year 1991, where a Model 101 Terminator appears in the middle of truck stop)
NC (vo): After an opening credits sequence of, again, truly unforgettable imagery, we cut to 1991, where the Terminator, played again by Arnold Schwarzenegger, is sent back to, well, do some shopping.
(A naked Terminator walks through a bar, while various patrons look at him with various expressions)
NC: One of the things I don't think this movie gets enough credit for, the extras are amazing.
NC (vo): I mean, even in the best movies, you find some actors who say a line a little weird, but everybody in this is 100% believable. Most films would have everybody react the same way to something like this, but everyone has a unique reaction. Some are shocked, some are confused...many aroused.
(A waitress looks at the Terminator with fascination)
NC: (as the waitress) Told you we were having Austrian wiener schnitzel tonight.
(The Terminator confronts a biker and takes his clothing)
NC (vo): He takes the clothes from one of the bikers and...
(The newly-clothed Terminator is shown, with the song "Bad to the Bone" playing)
NC: Let me make it clear, there was a time when this song was not only used for kid troublemaker movies. (The poster for Problem Child is shown next to the Terminator, with the caption "1990") And this was after that. But "You Could Be Mine" song was a better choice.
(Meanwhile, at a vacant lot underneath a bridge, a more advanced Terminator known as the T-1000 makes its entrance. As NC speaks, several clips focusing on the T-1000 are shown)
NC (vo): Like before, somebody else is sent back, the T-1000, played by Robert Patrick. This film does a good job tricking you into thinking Arnold is still the bad guy and Patrick is the human hero. Notice it just looks like he knocks out the cop. (The T-1000 is shown attacking a cop and leaving while dressed in police clothing) We don't know he can change into anything. The clothes, you assume he stole as opposed to shapeshift. And even his mannerisms are a lot more human compared to the other Terminators.
(The T-1000 is shown speaking with John Connor's foster parents)
T-1000: He's a good-looking boy. Do you mind if I keep this picture?
Janelle: No, go on.
(We briefly see a clip of the Terminator's reveal as the heroic main character, before showing the current scene of a young John Connor going out with his friend Tim, over the objections of his foster parents)
NC (vo): For a lot of people, it's a legit surprise when Arnold says "Get down", as up to that point, you could easily see either as the hero or villain. This brings us to a young John Connor, played by Eddie (Edward) Furlong, whose stepparents are not thrilled about his rebellious ways.
Janelle: I swear, I have had it with that goddamn kid. Todd!
Todd: (sitting on the couch) What? What?
Janelle: He hasn't cleaned that room of his in a month.
NC: (as Todd) Well, you did brownface in Aliens. (An image of Private Vasquez from Aliens is shown next to Janelle) Nobody's perfect.
(John and Tim are shown stealing money from an ATM)
John Connor: Please insert your stolen card now. Draw 3-0-0. (Takes some money out of the machine) Yes!
NC (vo): Little does he know, his best friend utilizes this hacking technique to become the world's youngest millionaire. (An image of Montana Max from Tiny Toon Adventures is shown)
(Meanwhile, John's mother, Sarah, is shown imprisoned at a mental hospital after attempting to bomb a computer factory)
Dr. Silberman: Morning, Sarah.
NC (vo): We're then reintroduced to Sarah Connor, played again by Linda Hamilton. And you know how in the last film, the psychiatrist said this?
Dr. Silberman: (from the first film) This is great stuff. I could make a career out of this guy.
NC (vo): Well, I think he did, as he's now one of the head honchos in this mental institution and is probably making even more money on the committed Connor saying the exact same thing.
(Dr. Silberman is shown watching camera footage of himself speaking with an angry Sarah)
Dr. Silberman: I'm sure it feels very real to you.
Sarah: On August 29th, 1997, it's gonna feel pretty fucking real to you, too!
NC: At first, I was annoyed that she was saying the exact same thing that clearly didn't work for the committed Reese.
NC (vo): But the more I thought about it, being the only person who knows when the apocalypse is and lying about it for many years, you would probably crack at some point. In fact, this is one of the few films that repeats a lot of similar lines and actions from the previous movie, but it feels totally natural. When you hear lines from Home Alone 2 like...
(Several clips from Home Alone 2 are shown)
Kevin: Yikes! I did it again!
Kate: Well, you got your wish last year, maybe you'll get it again this year.
Marv: This ain't like the last time.
Peter and Kate: WE DID IT AGAIN!
NC (vo): ...it feels forced and phony. So many sequels do this just so you can say, "I recognize that thing that was good before! Therefore, this is good!" (Back to the film, showing Sarah witnessing camera footage of her being arrested) But in this, it surprisingly feels organic. When they pause the video at a similar time they did with Reese in the first movie, she remembers and knows she has to change her game plan.
(Sarah attempts to engage in a calm conversation with Dr. Silberman)
Sarah: They don't exist. I know that now.
(We see a brief moment of Sarah encountering the Terminator for the first time)
NC (vo): When Arnold says...
Terminator: Come with me if you want to live.
NC (vo): ...it shows her he's the good guy, but in the most ironic form as what was trying to kill her in the last film. (Clips of the climaxes of the first two movies are shown at the same time) Even the climax, driving two vehicles, they crash, and they have to get two new vehicles, resulting in a surprise climax when you think it wrapped up. All of this works because so many of the roles are flipped, like they all have a chance to relive these moments and do them right, redeeming themselves and even the future of humanity. There's only one that feels a little gimmicky.
Terminator: I'll be back.
NC: But...would you be happier with...?
Terminator (dubbed over with himself from Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines): Talk to the hand.
(The film's IMDb page is shown)
NC (vo): A million stars. (Cut back to Sarah and Dr. Silberman talking) With that said, their actions don't always work, as Sarah pretends the Terminator is a delusion, but the doctor isn't falling for it.
Dr. Silberman: I don't see any choice but to recommend you stay here for another six months.
(Upon hearing that, Sarah immediately attacks Dr. Silberman in a rage. We are shown a clip from Ghostbusters II)
Dr. Egon Spengler: Let's see what happens when we take away the puppy.
(Both the Terminator and the T-1000 arrive at a mall, searching for John, with the Terminator holding a bunch of roses)
NC (vo): Meanwhile, at the mall, the Terminator and T-1000 search for John, and I'm not gonna lie, I really wish I could've seen the scene where Arnold bought those roses.
(The infamous flower shop scene from The Room is shown, but with Johnny's head being Photoshopped with an image of the Terminator, with NC intimidating him)
Terminator (NC): Yes, I would like a dozen roses, please.
Cashier: Here you go.
Terminator (NC): That's me.
Cashier: That'll be $18--
(Suddenly, a gunshot is shown, giving the illusion that the Terminator killed the cashier. Back to the film, showing John playing After Burner at the arcade)
NC (vo): John plays After Burner...oh, my bad... (An image of that infamous scene from Suburban Commando is shown) ...Star Commando, I always confuse the two...as his friend notices a cop is scoping for him.
(Tim attempts to warn John after seeing the T-1000)
Tim: Man, there's this cop scoping for you. Check it out.
NC (vo; as Tim): They found out what we did at Camp Onawana!
(A kid with glasses approaches the T-1000 and points out John to it)
NC (vo): Anyone else grow up hating this kid? You had one line, and you used it to be a narc.
NC: Enjoy your stitches. (Mimics attacking someone with a stapler)
(As the T-1000 pursues John, the Terminator attempts to follow, while dropping his box of roses)
NC (vo): Oh, and you think Batman was the biggest sellout for McDonald's? How about a scene from the Guns 'n' Roses video that literally has guns and roses? That's like Weekend at Bernie's literally putting The Weeknd at Bernie's! (An image of Weekend at Bernie's is shown with The Weeknd Photoshopped in)
(The two Terminators eventually encounter John in the middle of a hallway, along with another man)
Man: Hey, hey!
Terminator: Get down.
(The Terminator shoots at the T-1000, revealing himself as a heroic protector. The T-1000 responds by gunning down the man in the hallway)
NC: Admit it, you always felt sorry for that guy, too.
NC (vo): I think the moral of the film is, if you ever try to do anything good ever, you're gonna bleed.
(After the Terminator engages in a brief fight with the T-1000, John flees on a motorcycle, with the T-1000 in pursuit)
NC (vo): The two Terminators fight, with the T-1000 knocking him out... (The T-1000 notices a silver mannequin in a store) Ooh! The latest foreshadow fashion...and he Tom Cruise runs, trying to catch up to John. He...also might've upgraded his ride.
(The T-1000 rides on a truck and drives straight off a bridge, landing in front of John)
NC: Fun fact: None of the camera crew wanted to get this shot for fear of...well, dying.
NC (vo): So Cameron grabbed the camera and took the shot himself. Sports stores don't have as many balls as this guy!
(The T-1000 drives through the bridge, destroying the truck's roof in the process, though the T-1000 pops up with a cartoon sound effect added in and continues driving. The Terminator eventually joins the chase)
NC (vo): Though some shots, you can make out the stuntmen a little bit...hey, I didn't know Van Damme guest starred in this...the chase is still amazing, from the size and scale, to the energized editing, to that gun trick you gave up trying after two times...
(NC is shown holding a Photoshopped gun and flipping it)
NC: No, seriously, I got this...it's all CG.
(After the chase, the Terminator and John stop at a safe spot)
John: Now don't take this the wrong way, but you are a Terminator, right?
Terminator: Yes. Cyberdyne Systems Model 101.
John: Holy shit!
NC (vo): Something else that's important to point out, the kid in this movie is actually like a real kid. That's not to say this is the first time this has been done, but more often than not, kids in movies were either there for bad one-liners or just to move the story forward. (Posters of The Wizard, Annie (1982) and Kindergarten Cop are shown) This one acts like a real kid in the 90s, hell, honestly, any time period.
(We are shown an earlier scene of John and Tim looking at a photo of Sarah)
Tim: Is that her?
John: Yes.
Tim: She's pretty cool, huh?
John: No, she's a complete psycho.
(We are shown a later scene of John with the Terminator)
Terminator: It's not a mission priority.
John: (punches the Terminator in the chest) Well, fuck you! She's a priority to me!
NC (vo): He swears, he can be afraid, he fights back, he has legit good insults, he's a little shit, but that's what most kids are around that age. He's played in a way that doesn't get annoying and is extremely relatable, giving him real moments to come to grips with what this new reality means about everything he ever knew.
John: It's like everything I've been brought up to believe was all made of bullshit. I hated her for that. But nobody believed her. Not even me.
NC (vo): After this film, this was the gold standard in writing a believable child in a mainstream movie. (Back to the current scene, showing John attempting to call his foster parents for help) Even give him credit when he tries saving his stepparents, despite not liking them.
Janelle: If you hurry home, we can sit down and have dinner together. I'm making beef stew.
NC (vo): But something seems off when the dog keeps barking. Again, a good callback to the first film.
Janelle: Honey, are you okay?
Terminator: (speaking in John's voice) I'm right here. I'm fine.
NC: Huh. Wonder why I can't do an American accent the rest of the time.
Terminator: (hanging up the phone) Your foster parents are dead.
NC (vo; as the Terminator): And the T-1000 has learned how to make beef stew. (Speaks normally) Seriously, why does he know how to do that?
(Janelle is revealed to be the T-1000, and is shown to have killed Todd by stabbing him through the mouth with its metal arm)
NC (vo): After teaching the stepdad not to drink out of a carton, the T-1000 continues his search, while John figures out the Terminator technically has to do anything he says.
Terminator: That's one of my mission parameters.
John: Stand on one foot. (The Terminator follows that order) Yes!
NC: (as John) Now say Red Sonja was your best movie!
Terminator (voiced by NC): Don't push it, you little shit.
(John attempts to teach the Terminator to not always try and "terminate" various people all the time)
NC (vo): I also like this reversal where the kid has to be the adult teaching him why it's wrong to kill.
John: You just can't go around killing people.
Terminator: Why?
John: 'Cause you can't!
Terminator (dubbed over by Mindy from Animaniacs): Why?
John: 'Cause you just can't.
Terminator (dubbed by Mindy): Why?
John: I order you to help me.
Terminator (dubbed by Mindy): Okay, I love you. Bye-bye!
(At the institution, Sarah plans her escape by faking being sterilized)
NC (vo): John decides to break his mother out of the institution, as it looks like Sarah has the same idea...after this weird scene.
(One doctor puts the "unconscious" Sarah in her bed. Before leaving, he makes a sexual pass at her by licking her face)
NC: Mmm. Tastes like peaking in the 90s.
(As Sarah begins her escape, the T-1000 also breaks into the institution, hiding underneath the floors as a guard approaches a vending machine)
NC (vo): She escapes with a paper clip and the cutest little skip, but meanwhile, the T-1000 tries sneaking in so he can take her out to replace her.
(From behind the guard, the T-1000 begins rising out of the floor while slowly turning from the floor's appearance into its normal self)
NC: Did I mention the CG in this really holds up?
NC (vo): Sometimes, it looks a little shoddy, but for friggin' 1991, this looks better than some CG effects you see today!
(As the guard prepares to leave, the T-1000 stands behind him, taking on the same appearance as the guard)
Guard: Hey-hey, I got a full house.
NC (vo; as the guard): Wait until I tell Mr. Clamp.
(The guard turns around to look at the T-1000 in the guard's appearance face-to-face)
NC: I kind of admire that this is shot like a split-screen...
(We are shown a front view of the guard and the T-1000 onscreen at the same time, a shot later shown again during the climax)
NC (vo): ...almost like they're indicating they used the same actor to play both parts, but then get shots like this where you realize it had to be twins...only later to actually duplicate the same actor. This film's goddamn amazing!