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Super Mario Bros.: The Anime

NC-Super-Mario-Anime-Movie preview-620x330

Aired
November 28, 2017
Running time
20:58
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(Shortened intro)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. Let's talk about the first Super Mario Brothers movie.

(As he says, the poster for the live-action Super Mario Bros. movie pops up)

NC: (loudly) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Believe it or not, there was a Super Mario Brothers movie before that one. And believe it or not, it starred...

(Cut to footage of the movie in question, which is clearly an anime film)

NC (vo): ...actual brothers, a dragon, took place in the Mushroom Kingdom, and looked exactly like the game.

(The audience is heard booing)

NC: I know, I know. I think it's weird for an adaptation to be faithful, too. But this one is... (looks up in thought briefly) still interesting, to say the least.

NC (vo): In 1986, Japan released an animated movie called Super Mario Bros.: The Great Mission to Save Princess Peach.

NC: (scoffs) Silly Japanese, we Americans know it's Princess Toadstool. (nods smugly)

NC (vo): It wasn't given a release in America, because... we were working on our own (a shot of Dennis Hopper as King Koopa in the American-made live-action film is shown) superior version! But it has started to gain attention as being technically the first movie based on a video game.

NC: Unless you count (a shot of the following appears in the upper-left corner...) Apocalypse Now as an adaptation of (a shot of the following appears in the upper-right corner...) Pong. (beat) Most don't.

NC (vo): To make things a little easier to follow, I'm going to look at the English dub on the YouTube channel, Chad Kyer, mostly because it's the only one I can find, and it does manage to get a laugh out of me. Is the movie worth checking out? Or at least more checking out than...

(A clip of the live-action Mario Bros. is shown, again showing Dennis Hopper as Koopa)

King Koopa: Monkey!

NC: Well, let's take a look and see! Spoilers: it is. This is Super Mario Bros.: The Great Mission to Save Princess Peach.

(The anime film starts with Mario struggling to play a video game similar to his own on television set via Famicom)

NC (vo): So it opens with Mario... playing a video game.

NC: Isn't that kinda like a sunflower painting van Gogh?

(Luigi, half-asleep, comes up to Mario in his nightshirt. Suddenly, the game stops, and Mario first sees Princess Peach fighting Koopa Paratroopas and Spinies)

NC (vo): His brother Luigi, living presumably a Bert and Ernie lifestyle of sin, tried to get him to quit, but he's just too addicted. However, something strange starts to happen, as the game starts to show a princess literally fighting off baddies with a stick.

NC: ...The royal...swing-stick. Hey, it's less sexist than her frying pan and her butt! (two screenshots from Super Smash Bros. Brawl are shown to prove that)

(Peach pops out from the television, followed by various animals. When the smoke clears, Mario and Peach are seen unconscious)

NC (vo): She magically comes out of the TV, along with a bunch of dust smoke-creating minions, and...they vanish. (beat) Apparently, they're allergic to blue living rooms.

NC: Hey, (slams hand on table) you laugh, but I'm prepared for the Koopa-pocalypse! (Doug Walker's blue-colored living room is shown)

NC (vo): The princess wakes up and reveals herself as Peach.

Peach: Thanks for protecting me. My name is Princess Peach.

Mario: Princess Peach?

Peach: I believe you're Mario, the brave knight.

NC: (as Peach) As fortold in the scripture of the instruction book.

(King Koopa comes out of the TV)

NC (vo): She tells him about King Koopa as well, who seems to follow her from the game. I'm just gonna take a guess and say this runs on Space Jam logic. That is to say, none.

Peach: (hiding behind Mario) Beat him off, Mario. Make him pay for what he did!

NC: (as Mario) But I'm always the worst player! Luigi can jump high, Toad can run fast, you can even fly!

NC (vo): He proves to me exactly that useless, as he's easily defeated and Koopa takes Peach. Luigi laughs at his [Mario's] story in his Italian Southern accent...

(As Mario examines the TV, Luigi, still half-awake, comes up to Mario, here speaking like the Italian relative of Goofy)

Luigi: What are you talking about? Princess asked you for help?

NC: Come on, don't act like that's not a thing.

NC (vo): And they get to their job the following day as plum... (it's revealed than Mario and Luigi are working in a grocery shop) ...grocery store clerks.

NC: Is there an unwritten rule than in every Mario movie at least one obvious thing has to be wrong??

NC (vo): Luigi sees the necklace Peach left behind and crams a lot of game exposition in only a few seconds.

Luigi: This gem has been passed on by the Kinopi people. It's worth fortunes.

Mario: (snatching gem away) Kinopi people?

Luigi: (takes out his book of gems) Yes. See? (turns pages) Look right there. (points to a page) This gem originates from the lost Mushroom Kingdom...

(Cut to a clip of Borat)

Borat: Is nice!

(Back to the Mario anime. As Luigi and Mario speak, puffs of air come out of their mouths)

Luigi: Amazing!

Mario: Yeah!

Luigi: Let's go!

Mario: Yeah!

Luigi: Where's it at?

Mario: I don't know! Hey, let's call our friend to find out. (talks on phone) Hello?

NC: Wow. I thought (a clip of the following appears in the upper-left corner...) the flower shop scene from The Room was rushed and awkward. (The caption "SEE" and the poster for The Disaster Artist appear in the lower-left corner)

NC (vo): But a strange caterpillar dog walks in and steals the necklace.

Mario: (chasing after creature out door and into the desert) Hey, wait! Hey, you, get back here!

NC (vo): By the way, where is this again? Do the Japanese think America's just one big Road Runner background?

NC: (pounding fist on desk) Because it's NOT! It's mainly (shots of a McDonald's and a gun shop appear in the corners) these two things.

(Mario and Luigi chase the blue dog-like creature named Kibidango into the pipes. After they go down one of them, the other pipes vanish)

NC (vo): They come across a series of pipes, but once they go down one, the rest of them disappear because you're high.

(Mario and Luigi fall through a tunnel, screaming. When they land on the ground, they discover themselves in a cave and are greeted by an bearded old man in a white robe called Kinoko Sennin, meaning "Mushroom Hermit" or "Mushroom Mystic")

NC (vo): They arrive in the Mushroom Kingdom, as Gandalf's shower-drained pubic hair tells them.

Kinoko: (voiced clearly by a young man) Welcome, the Mario brothers. The one that summoned you to the Mushroom Kingdom was none other than me.

NC: (as Kinoko, deadpan) I'm as excited as Batman's Batcave announcer.

(Cut to Batman Zellers commercial)

Announcer: Attention, attention! Family thinks high toy price is a joke!

NC: (as Kinoko) No, maybe not that excited.

NC (vo): He tells them how Peach turned down Koopa's wedding proposal, causing him to attack their fare Smurf village.

(We're shown the flashback of Koopa attacking the mushroom-headed citizens)

Kinoko (vo): The evil King Koopa casted a spell upon the Mushroom Kingdom, turning the citizens into blocks and stones.

NC: Wow. So Mario's kind of been committing mass genocide. (The gameplay of Super Mario Bros. 1 is shown, showing Mario hitting the stone block when jumping)

Kinoko: There's nobody else who can rescue Princess Peach and protect the land other than you two. It's a legend. A duo of brothers from the east country.

Mario: Uh, excuse me, but are you talking about us?

Kinoko: Sort of clumsy, sharing similar overalls, round noses and stylish, thick black mustaches.

(He looks up, frowning; a lightning suddenly strikes as the sky goes dark for a moment)

NC: (as Kinoko) Sorry. That's our dramatic "thick black mustaches" lightning. (the lightning flashes and thunder rumbles) See? I don't know how to turn it off!

Kinoko: If Princess Peach isn't saved, she will be forced to marry King Koopa.

Mario: (gasps) Married?!

Kinoko: The wedding is on Friday the 13th.

NC: (horrified) That's awful! (looks confused) Wait, the Mushroom Kingdom functions on the Gregorian calendar? I have so many questions.

NC (vo): This makes Mario so angry, he breaks into another stereotype.

(All of a sudden, Mario is dressed like a Mexican, firing two guns and shouting)

Mario: (in a Mexican accent) I'll make sure he pays for his actions! That devil, demon, dragon, he'll pay! (stops, speaking normal) Hey, wait a minute. I thought I was Italian.

NC: You're the time period from (poster of...) It Follows. There are no clear answers.

Kinoko: In order to defeat Koopa and break his spell, you have to use three magical power-ups.

Mario: Uh, what's a power-up?

Kinoko: If you combine the Magical Mushroom, Fireflower and Star Man, (the lightning strikes once more) it will give you the ultimate power.

NC: You know, for such clear weather, there sure is a lot of lightning, isn't there? (Beat) In fact, aren't you in a cave?!

(After Mario, Luigi and Kibidango leave Kinoko, he vanishes into thin air)

NC (vo): They agree to the mission, and their little dog, too, as magical guy disappears, never revealing why the hell he doesn't save the day.

NC: (says as the gag of Cornelius the badger appears below...) Rrrrheumatism!

(As Mario, Luigi and Kibidango walk around the various trippy places in the kingdom, the Japanese song "Doki Doki Do It" plays)

NC (vo; as Mario): Hmm, I can't decide if the weather looks more Asher or Dali today.

(Along the way, Luigi runs to a rich-looking town, presumably makes havoc in it, and rushes back to Mario and Kibidango)

NC (vo; as Luigi): Hey, Mario. I just GTAd a city in five seconds. None were left alive, and I robbed their dead corpses.

NC: Okay, you explain what that was!

(As the night falls, the gang makes a campfire, and they have a rest)

NC (vo): They camp out for the night, as both of them start to get hungry.

Luigi: (looking tired) I want a steak, a chicken, spaghetti...

(Mario's dream cloud shows him eating the things Luigi listed)

Mario: (mumbling in his sleep) Turkey, grapes...

(Luigi gets angry at that and hits Mario's cloud with a shovel)

Luigi: Hey! Quit stealing my dreams!

NC: (smirking) You're Player 2, buddy. You've gonna have to get used to him stealing your dreams a lot. But you get a shitty vacuum! (The picture from Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon, showing the titular character using said vacuum, is shown) Luigi is sad.

(The gang is spotted by two Goombas)

NC (vo): Suddenly, a pair of Goombas approach and try to trick them.

Goomba 1: (speaking in a calm male voice) Hey, you two. Looks like you're having some food issues.

NC: Okay, I know this is a corny fandub, but that is the most chill and laid-back Goomba!

Goomba 1: Well, we have a big pile of mushrooms.

Luigi: (excited) I love a mushroom!

Goomba 1: Follow us, then.

NC: (as Goomba 1) I was just gonna lay on a futon, put on some DVDs, see what the day takes me.

(Mario awakes, hearing Luigi laughing hysterically in the mushroom field nearby)

NC (vo): They leave Luigi to some mushrooms, and... Clearly, he's indulged.

Luigi: (laughing) Mario! You're lame, bro! These mushrooms are great! You need to relax, brother! Have one!

NC: (as Luigi) Do you ever wonder...why we're called "super"? We're not made out of soup! Mmm, soup. Do we have any soup-flavored Pop-Tarts?

(Mario discovers that Luigi have eaten several "laughing" and "crying" mushrooms and taked some of them)

NC (vo): It turns out the mushrooms are playing around with his emotions...

NC: This analogy's as veiled as Puff, the Magic Dragon...

(An adult Paratroopa mother picks Mario up)

NC (vo): ...when...whoa! I think this shit's suddenly starting to kick in!

(The Paratroopa mother takes Mario to her nest with three chicks)

NC (vo): He's almost fed to some chicks, but Mario throws more mushrooms their way.

(The chicks eat the mushrooms and are instantly junked up, laughing)

NC (vo; as a chick): No! We're, like, bird turtles! What the hell do our skeletons even look like? Do our wings go through our shells? (transition to Mario and chicks sleeping in the nest) I love you, man. You are life.

(Luigi and Kibidango are also carried to the nest)

NC (vo): Luigi is brought in, too, but they convince them that they taste bad. However, they find one of the hidden power-ups, the mushroom the magic man was talking about, and discover there's even gold coins hidden inside. But there's a twist.

(After Mario picks up a block of ice with a mushroom inside on top of a rock, it starts to shot out gold coins. A flash of light occurs, and the coins transform into mushroom people, led by a tall person named Toad)

Toad: Thank you for freeing us from Koopa's curse.

NC: (dumbfounded) What?...

Luigi: (shocked) All of the gold coins were mushroom people?

NC: (looks up, shaking fist) Golden coins is PEOPLE!!!

NC (vo): Yeah, that's certainly a weird choice. I mean, if they were true, a lot of allegations about (picture from the comic about...) Scrooge McDuck would be coming out in the press!

Toad: I am Kinopio. I am at Princess Peach's service.

Mario: You guys are mushrooms?

NC (vo): It turns out one of them is Peach's servant and is thankful for their help.

Toad: Everybody, thank our heroes.

(The mushroom people cheer for Mario and Luigi)

NC: Okay, fair warning: we've eaten, like, half of you. This might be a premature celebration.

Toad: As a token of our gratitude, please take the Super Mushroom. (hands it over to Mario)

Mario: Hey, this is the Super Mushroom.

NC: (as Toad) Did I stutter?

Toad: You two are the only ones who can save Princess Peach.

NC: (as Toad) Well, you know, you and...literally anybody else, but I was a coin for a while, and I need to see a doctor about that. (looks down in fear) I have concerns.

(We go to a commercial. After coming back, we're shown the gang walking onward, meeting challenges such as Bullet Bills and Koopa Troopas, which Mario uses his mushroom's powers to fight against. Later, they reach a fork in the road)

NC (vo): So they travel the Mushroom Kingdom, using their Super Mushroom as weapon, when the same laid-back Goomba approaches them.

Goomba 1: Where are you guys heading?

Mario: We need to know which way is east. Could you help us out?

Goomba 1: If you wanna go east, there are so many ways to go.

NC: (as Goomba 1) But choose one quick. I have to go narrate five audiobooks and three meditation CDs. Life's a gift.

(The Mario brothers and Kibidango approach the garden course, which is full of Piranha Plants)

NC (vo): They tell them to go through the flower course, which Mario hopes he can use to get the flower power-up.

(The Piranha Plants grow in size and attack the brothers and Kibidango. The gang successfully dodges them)

NC (vo; as the plants, overlapping): Feed me, Seymour! Feed me, Seymour! Feed me, Seymour! Feed me, Seymour! Feed me, Seymour! Release my original cut of the ending, it's so much better!

(The plants tangle themselves together and tumble down just as the gang escapes)

NC (vo): They escape the monsters, though, only to come across another one.

(The Koopa named Lakitu looms overhead, riding on a cloud controlled by him)

Lakitu: (voiced by a woman) Shut up and stop complaining, you worthless pieces of plant food!

NC: (as Mario) Hey, I thought Birdo was the only one with gender identity issues. (looks up) When were you a broad? (as Lakitu, offscreen) Whenever I traveled. (ba-dum-tss!)

(Lakitu throws several Spiny Eggs at the brothers)

NC (vo): He throws killer porcupines at them, and they attack. After he explains the science of how they work.

Lakitu: Now, just a little dab of rain. (the rain pours from his cloud, making the brothers laugh at it) Now, add some lightning. (he then makes a lightning strike) Thanks to the electronic waves in lightning, it will create life on the spikes I just threw at you! Now, I'll add the sun, and the spikes...

NC: (hand on cheek) I feel like this was a lot easier when you just threw them. Did you...need to film extra page of script?

(The Spiny Eggs transform into the Spinies. Suddenly, a beanstalk sprouts under Mario, lifting the three into the air along with it as the Spinies collide)

NC (vo): They chase them down. However, a buttstalk saves them and plunges them into the sky.

(Mario and Lakitu scream upon seeing each other. Mario grabs Lakitu's cloud as the latter tries to escape from him)

Mario: Hey, you get back here!

(Mario tears off a piece of the cloud, and Lakitu flies away on his part of the cloud)

Lakitu: I'll be baaack!..

Mario: He's lucky he got away.

NC: (as Mario, frowning) But God help me if he puts a mushroom at the end of a stick. (The shot from Super Mario World is shown, showing Lakitu baiting the brothers with the 1-up mushroom) I feel like I would fall for that.

NC (vo): But he sees Luigi is in trouble, so he uses half of the cloud machine to make it rain, storm, snow, then shine the sun, which... (the snow melts, and the proper flower field is revealed; the Spinies are nowhere to be seen) turned them all into flowers.

NC: Okay, we're not quite at the point where you're raising more questions than the live-action version, but I don't want to get to that point either.

(A fluff of cloud turns into another Toad subject, who rewards Mario with the flower)

NC (vo): The little shroom lady gives them the flower power-up... Not that I have any idea how or why that technically happened, but... Do the thing!

(Walking onward like a video game character, Mario defeats two Buzzy Beetles with his Fireflower power)

NC: (smiling) He did the thing!

(Mario hits another block, causing a bunch of ramen boxes (labeled with the brothers' faces) to pop out. The two take a quick lunch break)

NC (vo): So they go around hitting bricks, which, of course, leads to the classic prize of package noodles with their pictures on them.

NC: Everybody who worked on this need to ask more questions.

(The gang goes inside a cave filled with gold coins. After that, rocks fall and block the exit. The two Goombas from before arrive on the other side of a barred window and taunt them)

NC (vo): But Luigi spots more coins. The coins lead them to a cell where the Goombas keep them locked up.

Goomba 1: And this guy thought we were actually trying to help them out? Ha!

Mario: (trying to reach the Goombas through the bars) Darn you, traitors! I'll get you!

NC: (as Mario, waving a fist) Damn you and your pleasant voice! SOOTHING!

(Meanwhile at the castle, Peach sadly waits on the balcony. King Koopa enters the scene)

NC (vo): Koopa tries to convince Peach that he's good for her, but she's still not into him or his "Keanu Reeves having a heart attack" voice.

King Koopa: I did it for you. I thought you'd want to control everything by my side.

Peach: Make me feel better, then!

King Koopa: Well, I can shapeshift. (transforms into a scarecrow) Are you feeling better?

NC: Oh! (beat) That's why he turns into a Goomba...

(The gameplay of one of the boss fights from Super Mario Bros. 1 is shown to illustrate what NC is saying)

NC (vo): ...whenever you spit fire at him...

NC: ...or why there's so many versions of him at different castles... I'm trying to work with you, movie! I'm trying to work with you!

Peach: Can you transform into a dancer?

(King Koopa shifts into...a plump, yellow-skinned cabaret dancer, much to Peach's delight)

King Koopa: How's this, my dear?

Peach: (laughing) That's so funny!

NC: (smirking) Funny. Disturbing. They both have a "u" in them.

NC (vo): She tricks him into turning into a teddy bear, though, and locks him away. He gets out, though, so...this scene existed, because...

NC: ...They wanted to show off...

NC (vo): ...the creepy cabaret animation.

NC: Worth it? Yes.

(The Mario brothers and Kibidango escape from a cave. Once they get away, Luigi sees that the gold he got from the cave was fake and angrily throws it into the nearby body of water. Mario notices that among the fake coins was the star, which also falls into the water. Mario and Kibidango jump into the water)

NC (vo): Mario and Luigi dig their way out, and while doing so, they find the star power-up. An oyster grabs it underwater, though, so, logically, there's only one way to get it back!

(To distract the clam that has the star in its mouth, Mario starts dancing in a ballerina outfit, and Kibidango playing on an electronic guitar)

NC: You really wanted to get men in leotards? Why?

(The clam spits the star and Mario out)

NC (vo): The trick works...

NC: (scoffs) Naturally.

(They escape from another pursuing fish (Cheep Cheep) by going to an old sunken ship)

NC (vo): ...but more aquatic life tries to get them, so they swim their way to a sunken ship.

(Mario and Kibidango blow on the sail to steer the ship upwards to escape the grasp of Blooper the squid. The latter rubs his head in confusion after the two get away)

NC: Yes!

NC (vo): Blow air water to make it go faster!

NC: (throwing arms out and smiling) It's just science!

(The ship is shown floating above the water)

NC (vo): The ship can now fly, because...

NC: Well, there's nothing but ocean below us, so that's clearly not a choice.

NC (vo): And they make it to Koopa's castle.

(Back at the castle, King Koopa has his wedding ceremony planned, much to Peach's distress)

King Koopa: We are now ready. Bring on the priest.

(The priest enters the throne room while the fire is burning behind him. He shakes the heart-shaped rattle)

Peach: Mario, please! You haven't forgotten of me, have you?

NC: I suppose this should be suspenseful, but I'm just wondering...

NC (vo): ...how a Koopa religion works.

NC: I'd assume it's like Scientology, except less funny.

Peach: Mario!

(Mario, Luigi and Kibidango arrive just in time in the crumbling floating ship. King Koopa growls angrily)

Peach: (waving) Mario! I knew you'd save me!

King Koopa: No! I was told they were defeated!

NC: (as King Koopa) I was totally gonna show up Jabba and his trophy wife.

(King Koopa grabs Peach and runs away as the room seals behind him. Mario and Kibidango spot a hole in the wall and arrive in a chamber with a lava pit and a few doors on the other side. The two Goombas rest on a control panel, explaining that in order to pass the area, Mario must jump across dangerous elevator platforms)

NC (vo): Koopa takes Peach away, and Mario, of course, has to fight through a dungeon of traps to get her.

Goomba 2: There's no way you'll make it out of here alive!

(Mario and Kibidango have no luck dodging the traps as the Goombas pull levers on a panel, laughing)

NC: (as Goomba 2) Let me use my hands that suddenly and painfully metamorphosed from my body. (laughs evilly, briefly making a face that screams pain)

(Luigi, who was mining for more coins, accidentally causes a water leak in one of the walls, which flushes him out and floods the entire chamber)

NC (vo): Meanwhile, Luigi goes searching for gold and springs a flood in the castle. That...somehow destroys the entire place.

NC: Is it ironic that a leak saves the plumbers?

(King Koopa rises from the wreckage and grasps Peach, initiating the climactic battle, in which Mario wins, thanks to his power-ups)

NC (vo): Peach survives, but so does Koopa, leading to the final fight. Mario eats all the power-ups, resulting in him becoming stronger.

Peach: Mario! You are my hero! Thanks for defeating Bowser.

NC: (as Peach, smiling) But, sadly, I'm in another castle! (awkward silence for about three seconds)

(With King Koopa's evil magic broken, the light of dawn pierces the dark landscape, turning it into a lush green field and restoring the ruins of the castle into Peach's castle)

NC (vo): Koopa's spell is destroyed, and the kingdom returns back to...normal?

Mario: Here. (gives Peach her pendant)

Peach: You're so sweet, Mario. (hangs the pendant around her neck) There's a rumor that this necklace holds great power. When other object combines with that, something magical will happen.

Mario: Hold on. (searches around his body) Luigi, didn't our mother give us something like that?

Luigi: (shaking head) Nope. No.

NC: ...I'm sure the accountants loved that animation was used to bring that scene to life.

NC (vo): But there's one final twist.

(When Mario declares that he will find the matching half, Kibidango reacts to it and is turned into a human wearing pink clothes, who also wears a pendant)

Peach: Prince Toadstool!

Prince Toadstool: (speaking monotone) Peach, I have returned.

NC: Um, you sure there's not an "ess" at the end of that "prince"? I mean, again, Birdo opened so many doors. Just be comfortable with who you are.

Mario: (eyes widen in shock) Wait a minute. So this means... You and her are...

Prince Toadstool: Peach and I were to be engaged before Bowser showed up.

NC (vo; as Prince Toadstool): Which is strange, seeing how we both have the last name Toadstool.

NC: Blue bloods for a reason, I guess!

Mario: (lying in grass in tears) Have a great wedding, Peach.

Peach: I'm sorry for breaking your heart, Mario. I hope you're not mad and can forgive me.

NC: (as Prince Toadstool) Yeah. I'm sure if our king or queen parents existed, they would reward you, but... (waves off) mushroom magic, something.

(As Mario and Luigi leave the Mushroom Kingdom, Prince Toadstool calls out for them)

Prince Toadstool: Mario! Luigi! Take care!

NC: (as Prince Toadstool) And why weren't you wearing green? Yeah, don't think I wasn't gonna bring that up! How hard is it to paint green?

(After the credits roll, we are shown an old lady named Miss Endless walking into the empty grocery store)

NC (vo): Oh, and just when you think it's over, there's one last little surpirse after the end credits.

Miss Endless: (reading from a shopping list) Butter, milk, eggs.

(Then, King Koopa walks in and three of his minions pop out from behind the counter. King Koopa gives Miss Endless the bag of groceries)

King Koopa: Here you are, ma'am.

(Bemused by this, Miss Endless squees and makes a pose for the camera. The background suddenly changes to dark blue, Miss Endless disappears, and the words "GAME OVER" are written in white as the ending music from Super Mario Bros. 1 plays out)

NC: (flabbergasted) What the hell?!

(The scene is repeated)

NC: (grinning, takes off his hat and puts a turban on his head) I just embraced the insanity!

(He does a high-pitched Woody Woodpecker laugh. The clips from the anime are shown as NC lists his closing thoughts)

NC (vo): That was the Super Mario Bros. animated movie. On the one hand, it is clumsy, strange and doesn't make a whole lot of sense...Lord knows we're used to that... (The shot of Koopa sticking out his tongue from the live-action movie is shown again) But, on the other hand, the animation is nice, it's energized, has its own weird sense of humor, and it does look like the friggin' game. I'm not saying it's anything great or even that good, but if I was a little kid, I would probably like this a lot more than the alternative. I can see myself calling this one the Mario Bros. movie and the other one...shit. Very odd, to say the least, but it's the kind of odd that's worth checking out.

NC: I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and...

(Grinning, he makes the pose similar to one that Miss Endless made; her squee is heard. We are shown the same "GAME OVER" caption, with the ending Super Mario Bros. 1 music playing again. Fade to black. The credits roll)

Channel Awesome tagline - Prince Toadstool: Peach, I have returned.

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