Stuart Little 2
June 3, 2020
(The Channel Awesome logo is shown, followed by the NC title sequence)
NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. Today, we're gonna figure out what happened to Stuart Little.
(Shots of illustrations of the original "Stuart Little" novel is shown)
NC (vo; deadpan): Oh, good, do we get to see the outcome of throwing a temper tantrum, ruining a close friendship, and driving off into a confusingly vague sunset?
NC: (realizes his mistake) Ohhh...this is a sequel to... (A shot of the poster for the movie adaptation of the story is shown) ...the movie, not the book. (Beat) It might be for the best. Continuing that other story would just confuse me more.
(The title for Stuart Little 2 is shown, before showing clips of that movie)
NC (vo): With the 1999 film pulling in decent numbers, Columbia produced a sequel in 2002 with the same cast and director, though no Shyamalan script this time, so we won't find out if this was all secretly the Ratatouille universe. (A poster for a made-up movie is superimposed, known as Glasstatouille, which features Remy, Stuart and Despereaux Tilling on it. M. Night Shyamalan's name is displayed on the top of the poster as the alleged writer and director) While nowhere near as big a hit as its predecessor, Stuart Little 2 made 170 million against a $120 million budget. (The Rotten Tomatoes page for this movie is superimposed, showing it received 81% from critics) Critics seemed to like it more, (The audience score for the movie is now superimposed, showing a 41% from audiences) while audiences...critics seemed to like it more. So it only makes sense to take a look and see what grabs some people and not others.
NC: This is the sequel people kind of demanded and...kinda saw. This is Stuart Little 2.
(The movie opens with Stuart getting out of bed and waking up his "older" brother George (played again by Jonathan Lipnicki))
NC (vo): Stuart wakes up excited, because it's his first day playing soccer, and George is going to join him.
Mr. Little (Hugh Laurie): (bringing out a basket) Don't forget your cleats. (walks up to his wife (played again by Geena Davis)) You're looking especially beautiful today. (kisses her on the cheek)
NC: And you still sound like Doctor Strange's failed American accent.
(Martha Little (played collectively by Anna and Ashley Hoelck), Mr. and Mrs. Little's infant daughter and Stuart and George's baby sister, sits in a high chair)
Mrs. Little: (surprised and overjoyed) She said "Blah-blah"! Her first word!
Mr. Little: I'm not sure that's technically, you know, a word.
Mrs. Little: (writing in a binder) Well, of course it is.
NC: (smiling) It'll be fun (crosses arms) when this family's finally introduced to real matters. (nods)
(We then cut to Stuart and George's soccer game; we see the game's coach, played by Jim Doughan)
Coach: (calling out) You guys, spread out! Spread out!
NC: (mimicking Lt. Kellaway from The Mask) Doyle!
(George runs up to kick the ball, but the other team comes at him and he turns and runs)
NC (vo): George gets the ball...kinda, and Stuart is finally put in the game.
Coach: All right, Stuart, I want you to watch your tail out there.
Stuart (voiced by Michael J. Fox): Don't worry, Coach, I won't let you down.
Coach: Now go get 'em!
NC: (shakes head) I'm not gonna lie, that scene is far more fun when it's shown without the effects.
(The scene replays, but this time without Stuart)
Coach: All right, Stuart, I want you to watch your tail out there. (no answer, as Stuart is not there) Go get 'em!
NC: (applauding) Our coach is insane and I'm far too okay with it!
(Just as Stuart reaches the ball, George kicks it, and the ball, with Stuart on it, flies straight into a teammate's head, and towards the goal, winning the game)
NC (vo): George kicks the ball with Stuart on it, knocking a teammate out, but scoring the winning point. Only two people have to go to the hospital! (A shot of a riot at a soccer game is shown) Far less as soccer games go.
(Mr. and Mrs. Little spot Stuart hanging upside-down from the netting of the goal by one of his shoes)
Stuart: I have to start wearing a cup.
NC: (as Stuart) If cartoons were allowed to have genitalia, I'd need it.
(That night, Stuart and George climb into bed)
NC (vo): Stuart and George talk about making that final goal.
Stuart: Hey, you won the game. That's the main thing.
George: (removing his glasses) The main thing is I hit Wallace in the face.
(He laughs, and then we cut to Stuart laughing as well. That sudden cut causes NC to jump back with a startled yelp)
NC: (creeped out) Jump cut...
NC (vo): ...from cute kid to (An image of the early version of the Sonic the Hedgehog trailer is shown alongside Stuart's laugh) Sonic trailer teeth.
NC: Not a fan!
(We then see George putting the finishing touches on a yellow-with-red-accents model plane. Stuart is sitting in the pilot's seat)
NC (vo): The next day, George finishes his model plane...that Ronald McDonald puked on, but his friend [Will Powell] comes over, distracting his attention.
Will (Marc John Jefferies): Hey, George, you want to take a break for a while? I brought my PS2.
George: Yeah, okay! (gets up from the table)
NC: (as Will) I have GTA: San Andreas! (as George) Oh, I'm not allowed to play that. Mom says it reminds her of her former job.
(While trying to fix the plane, Stuart inadvertently starts it, and the plane flies around the house with Stuart on it)
NC (vo): Stuart tries finishing the plane, accidentally starting it and taking off.
(George and Will duck as the plane flies their way, toward the front door, which opens as Mrs. Little comes in, holding a bouquet of flowers. She ducks as the plane comes at her, shredding the flowers as it does)
Mrs. Little: STUART!
NC: (as Mrs. Little) Those flowers had one day until retirement!
(The plane flies out of control through the park. It flies toward a group of nuns)
(The nuns duck down to the ground as the plane flies over them. As soon it passes by, one nun gets back up and makes a sign of the cross)
NC (vo; as this nun): God is punishing me for that Pinky and the Brain slash fic!
(The plane continues on for a distance until it crashes into a tree. The Littles and Will run up)
NC (vo): Stuart crashes the plane, pissing off George.
(George runs up to see that Stuart is unhurt, but the plane is a wreck)
Stuart: E-Everything's fine.
George: (irritably snatching up the broken plane) You destroyed it! (Stuart hangs his head and groans) Thanks, Stuart.
NC: (as George) I'm glad you're okay! I wish you were dead!
NC (vo): Mr. Little tries to make Stuart feel better.
Mr. Little: See, the thing about being a Little is that you can look at any situation, no matter how bleak, how hopeless...and still see the bright side.
NC: (as Mr. Little) Look at me. I have an audition... (As Mr. Little's scene is repeated, a shot is superimposed of a promo image for the show, House, which stars Hugh Laurie, who plays Mr. Little) ...for a show called House. As long as I don't have to fake an American accent, I should be fine.
(We cut to Stuart attending a class at school)
NC (vo): After Stuart finishes a very strange class...
Teacher: Canada is separate from the United States because Canadians like to be alone.
NC: That might be the only time I regret missing something in school.
(While driving back home, Stuart ends up rescuing a seemingly injured canary named Margalo from a pursuing Falcon)
NC (vo): ...he drives home and comes across a bird named Margalo, voiced by Melanie Griffith.
Stuart: Uh, my name is, uh, Stuart. Stuart Little.
Margalo: I'm Margalo. Just Margalo.
NC: (as Margalo) But my friends call me "Why are you wearing a scarf and goggles? You're a bird."
NC (vo): Stuart takes her home due to her broken wing, and she says she was chased by a falcon.
(Stuart and Margalo speak with each other in the kitchen)
Margalo: (holding up a jewel on the end of a stick) My pin. It's the only thing I have left of my mother's.
NC: (as Stuart) Oh, family heirloom? (as Margalo) No, that's her leg. (NC, as Stuart, recoils in disgust and horror)
(Several clips focusing on Margalo are shown)
NC (vo): I'm just gonna say it: Margalo is adorable. Griffith's voice has a Jennifer Tilly charm to it, and her design is like Baby Yoda ate Tweety Pie. It's almost too cute to watch.
(Margalo spots the Littles' cat, Snowbell)
Margalo: Hi, there.
(When Snowbell sees the little bird in a scarf and goggles, he screams in shock)
NC (vo): She even seems to get along with their cat, Snowbell.
Snowbell (voiced by Nathan Lane): Major hairball! Ugh! And yet, we continue to lick ourselves. Unbelievable.
NC: That's a saying on a t-shirt that would start conversations. (An image of a black t-shirt appears in the corner, with Snowbell's phrase displayed on it)
(Mr. and Mrs. Little come in and also meet Margalo)
NC (vo): Stuart explains the situation to his folks and they decide to let her stay, catching on that Stuart may have a crush on her.
(As Mr. and Mrs. Little climb into bed that night, they talk about Stuart and Margalo)
Mr. Little: He's...smitten. He's infatuated.
Mrs. Little: Did you have...many crushes?
Mr. Little: (taking off his glasses) I'm still having one.
NC: (as Mr. Little) There's a lot of birds I have attractions to. (An image of Daisy Duck appears in the corner) God, Daisy had such a rack.
(The next day, Stuart and Margalo have breakfast together, until Mrs. Little tells Stuart to get ready for school)
NC (vo): The next day, Stuart has to go to school, but Mrs. Little says she'll look after Margalo...
Mrs. Little: I will take care of Margalo.
(The next scene, however, shows Mrs. Little leaving the house to take Baby Martha for a walk, but leaving Margalo behind)
NC (vo): ...meaning completely abandoning her.
Mrs. Little: (as she leaves) Margalo, Martha and I are going out for a bit. Can I bring you anything?
NC: (as Margalo) Somebody to keep their fucking word would be nice!
(Margalo, having faked her broken wing, flies effortlessly out the window and runs into the falcon that was chasing her)
NC (vo): But it looks like Margalo can fly, and...yeah, you already know where this is going. She's in cahoots with the falcon chasing her, voiced by James Woods, who are planning to steal from Stuart's home. Yeah, birds rob shit!
Margalo: (to the Falcon) Nobody else had ever invited me to live with them.
Falcon: Who found a pitiful orphan bird and plucked her out of the gutter?
NC: (as Falcon) Excluding it was to eat you, it was still very kind of me.
(Margalo quickly grows attached to Stuart and the family and starts spending time with them, shown through a montage)
NC (vo): Margalo continues to get attached to the Littles...at least, that's what this dated pop song is telling me.
Background singer: For a time I thought my faith, it must be hiding...
NC: Yeah, every Disney Channel movie turned this song down, so Stuart Little it is.
(Stuart and Margalo are seated in Stuart's car together as they watch a movie on a TV screen, as though it were a drive-in)
NC (vo): ...and also starts falling in love with Stuart, watching such romantic films as...Vertigo.
(The scene shown on the screen is of Judy Barton (Kim Novak) and Scottie Ferguson (James Stewart) embracing and kissing)
Judy Barton: Stay with me.
Scottie Ferguson: All the time.
NC: (smiling) Aw, they're gonna love the romantic ending. (The audio of Barton falling, screaming, to her death is heard) Sweet!
(While Stuart and Margalo are watching the movie, nearby, the Falcon witnesses the scene, and, the next day, confronts Margalo over it)
NC (vo): He fixes her pin as the falcon watches and later threatens that if Margalo doesn't get him Mrs. Little's ring, he'll eat Stuart up.
(At the kitchen, Mr. and Mrs. Little speak with each other)
Mr. Little: I'll do the dishes.
Mrs. Little: Oh, but you did them last night.
Mr. Little: For you, I would do dishes every night.
NC: (as Mr. Little) Honey, remember when we had an argument? (as Mrs. Little) We've never had an argument. (as Mr. Little) Do you think that's unhealthy? (as Mrs. Little, screams in a high pitch, startling NC as Mr. Little) No. (as Mr. Little) Oh, okay.
(Mrs. Little discovers that her ring is gone from her ring holder)
NC (vo): Her ring vanishes, and they think it fell into the sink.
Stuart: Hey, hey, what about me? Let me go, Dad.
Mr. Little: Go where?
Stuart: Down the drain.
NC: (as Stuart) Just like (image of the following appears in the corner...) Stuart Little 3, or so I'm told. I've never seen it, even though I star in it.
(The Littles tie a string to a hook for Stuart (who is wearing a yellow raincoat) to cling to while he is lowered into the drain, holding a flashlight)
NC (vo): I think every scenario in this movie is an excuse to get him in a cute, tiny outfit.
Mrs. Little: (shocked) You let our son go down the kitchen drain?!
Mr. Little: Now, Eleanor, don't-don't be upset. (Suddenly, the string breaks and Mr. Little holds it up, but Stuart and the hook are gone. Mrs. Little gasps) Now you can be upset.
NC: (snorts in amusement) I like in a nothing role, a good actor can still remind you, "I'm funny as hell, bitch."
(As Stuart is falling into the drain, Margalo comes in and rescues him)
NC (vo): Stuart slips into the drain, but Margalo uses Mrs. Little's pearls to save him.
Stuart: (hugging Margalo) Margalo, you're the best friend I ever had. (While being hugged, Margalo suddenly becomes ashamed)
NC (vo): May this hug confuse your emotions with guilt. (Feeling guilty, Margalo leaves the house that evening in order to protect Stuart) Margalo feels too much shame and decides to fly away, leaving her pin behind.
(The Littles have a plumber (played by Brad Garrett) take apart the sink to find the ring)
Mr. Little: Did you find the ring?
Plumber: (holding a piece of the pipe in his hand) Everything but.
NC: Boy, Raymond's brother hit hard times... (As the scene replays, a shot Raymond and Robert Barone's parents (played by Doris Roberts and Peter Boyle) is shown in the corner) ...after finally murdering his parents. People were sad, but not surprised.
NC (vo): Stuart realizes Margalo left, and he decides to go after her.
(That night, Stuart, preparing to go out to find Margalo, tells George about his decision)
Stuart: And don't try to talk me out of it, because I made up my mind.
George: Stuart, she's just a bird.
NC: Wow, I never knew George was an anti-birdite!
George: At least get somebody to go with you.
(Stuart wakes Snowbell up, attempting to convince him to come with him)
NC (vo): George tells Stuart to take Snowbell with him because...yeah, he looks like a tough character in a dark alley.
Snowbell: (to Stuart) And, uh, why would I do that?
Stuart: George is gonna tell them that you ate me.
NC: (as Stuart) Yeah, framing manslaughter I figure is a good way for families to bond.
(As Stuart and Snowbell leave on their journey, the next morning, George attempts to cover for Stuart's absence)
NC (vo): Snowbell agrees to join him, and George tells his parents that Stuart won't be seen as much because he's rehearsing a school play.
George: (getting up from the table) Gotta go. (The parents look confused, but shrug if off. The music score in the background sounds chipper)
NC: (also confused) I think you scored the wrong scene there, Silvestri.
NC (vo): That was them finishing breakfast.
NC: (making a juggling motion) The juggling turtle scene is later.
NC (vo): Stuart's car breaks down and they decide to continue on foot.
(That night, Stuart and Snowbell stop at an alley)
Snowbell: I hate to break this up, but...I need to go tinky!
NC (vo): I don't know how much they paid Nathan Lane to say, "I need to go tinky," but...
NC: ...I already know it's either too much or not enough.
(Stuart and Snowbell encounter Snowbell's alley cat friend Monty to get some advice)
NC (vo): They come across Monty from the first film in the hopes that he might have some information on where Margalo went.
Snowbell: What do you know about a bird called "Falcon"?
Monty (voiced by Steve Zahn): Falcon? Ohh, that's a bad guy. You don't want to fool with him.
NC: Isn't this like looking for a person named Human? It's kind of a vague name.
NC (vo): He says Falcon lives at the top of the Pishkin Building, and Stuart tries calling George to let him know he's okay.
George: (talking on the phone) Where are you? How are you? Did you find her? Are you all right? How's Snowbell? When are you coming home? Mom and Dad are asking a lot of questions.
NC: (nervously) That kid grown-up can still kick my ass, right? (A shot of a grown-up Jonathan Lipnicki is shown briefly, dressed as though he's ready for boxing, having pumped up somewhat, causing NC to give a thumbs-up) Still a great actor. I can't wait to see him in Little Vampire 2.
(A poster for a made-up movie called The Little Vampire 2: Bloodlust is shown, showing the older, buffed-up Lipnicki (who played Tony Thompson in The Little Vampire), while surrounded by vampire heads and cows with bat wings. On that note, we go to a commercial break. Upon return from the break, the movie resumes with Stuart and Snowbell arriving at the Pishkin Building, where Falcon resides)
NC (vo): Stuart and Snowbell make it to the Pishkin Building, and Stuart uses a balloon to fly to the top.
(Stuart arrives on the roof and draws a bow and arrow)
Stuart: All right, Falcon. Hand her over and nobody gets hurt.
NC: Who are you, Lara Croft? (A shot of Lara Croft drawing a bow and arrow appears in the corner) What? (As the scene continues, a shot of someone's hand holding a very tiny gun is shown in the gun) You think we don't have mouse-sized guns for you? We're probably the only country that does!
(Stuart finds himself being confronted by the Falcon)
NC (vo): He comes across Margalo, as well as Falcon. And, well, let's just say it's James Woods doing some great James Woods-ing.
Falcon: Oh, this kid is priceless. Does any of this sound familiar? (mocking tone) "Oh, my wing!"
Stuart: What are you talking about?
Falcon: I can't drill through the wood.
Stuart: (to Margalo) What does he mean?
Falcon: Okay, now it's getting sad.
NC: I don't envy any woman that's ever been delicately dumped by him.
(A tape recording is shown, on which James Woods breaking up with a woman is heard with Falcon's dialogue)
Woman: You're leaving me?!
Falcon (Woods): Oh, this kid is priceless.
Woman: I thought we had something!
Falcon (Woods): I can't drill through the wood.
Woman: Can I still be in one of your movies?
Falcon (Woods): Okay, now it's getting sad.
(Falcon holds up Mrs. Little's much-coveted ring in his talons)
NC (vo): Falcon reveals Mrs. Little's ring, which...do falcons sell jewels on the black market? What's he gonna do with that? And Margalo admits she lied to him.
Margalo: I never wanted to hurt you.
Stuart: But, Margalo, why?
NC: (as Stuart) I thought we had something together. True, the thought of our kids does give me nightmares... (An image of a mouse-bird hybrid (a mouse's head on a bird's body) is superimposed briefly, making NC shudder) There it is again! But I still thought we can make it work.
(Despite Stuart's attempt to attack the Falcon, he drops Stuart over the side of the building, although Stuart survives by landing in a passing garbage truck. After Falcon imprisons Margalo in a can, a worried Snowbell makes his way to the building and finds Margalo while the Falcon is absent)
NC (vo): Falcon tries dropping him to the ground, but he lands in a garbage truck. Afterwards, Snowbell makes his way to the top and finds Margalo locked up in a paint can by Falcon.
Snowbell: Where are you?
Margalo: In the can.
Snowbell: Is Stuart in there, too?
NC: (as Snowbell) 'Cause I don't want to interrupt! I'm just wondering what the kids will look like... (Another mouse-bird hybrid (this time, a bird's head on a mouse's body) is superimposed, again making NC shudder) Oh, big mistake!
(Stuart awakens on a garbage barge that was leaving New York)
NC (vo): Stuart wakes up on a garbage barge and tries coming to grips with all the mistakes he's made.
(Stuart looks at Margalo's pin and throws it away in a rage)
Stuart: THERE IS NO SILVER LINING!
NC (vo): Wow, even someone as dedicated as Michael J. Fox was like... (as Fox) "Eh, it's Stuart Little 2; my heart's in this Curb Your Enthusiasm episode I'm in next week." (normal again) He grabs the pin and just happens to come across the broken plane from earlier.
(Triumphant music plays as Stuart finds his and George's broken yet still-functioning model airplane on the barge)
Stuart: (excited) THE SILVER LINING! THIS IS IT!
NC (vo): Man, it's usually 10 minutes of third-act grief before the happy music plays. This must be a short movie. (The words "1 HOUR TEN MINUTES Not Including Credits" pop up) Yep, they wanted this done quick.
(Back at the Littles' house, Mr. and Mrs. Little have found out that Stuart is gone)
Mrs. Little: (impatiently) All right, George, where is he?
NC (vo): Stuart's parents find out he's missing and try to get George to say where he is.
Mrs. Little: How would you feel, how would we all feel if anything happened to Stuart?
NC: I think something similar to if Tide Cleaner disappeared. (An image of a container of Tide Cleaner is shown in the corner) I'd know this, but I'd be okay.
NC (vo): He lets them know where Stuart was going, and they come across maybe my favorite joke in the whole movie.
(The Littles, running up a sidewalk, stop in their tracks when they spot Stuart's car, which has been vandalized, with graffiti covering it)
Mrs. Little: Who would do this?!
Mr. Little: Tiny little vandals.
NC: (smiling) I have...so many questions.
NC (vo): Who are these tiny vandals? Where do they get tiny spray cans? Do they sell model car parts the same place Falcon sells jewelry?
NC: There's a universe of possibilities (points to screen) and I want to know all of them!
(Meanwhile, Snowbell frees Margalo from the paint can, but the Falcon arrives and attacks him)
NC (vo): Snowbell frees Margalo, but Falcon returns, knocking him over.
Margalo: (holding Mrs. Little's ring) I'm leaving you, Falcon – forever!
Falcon: (outraged) Oh, and what do you think you'll be without me?!
NC: (as Margalo) As free as a... (looks offscreen) Line?
(Before the Falcon can reclaim the ring from a fleeing Margalo, Stuart swoops in on his plane to catch her)
NC (vo): Falcon chases after her, but Stuart fixes his plane and grabs her.
(Falcon's eyes widen in anger that Stuart is alive. Meanwhile, the rest of the Littles are in a taxi, trying to find Stuart)
Mr. Little: I think this is it. (calling out to the driver) Turn here!
Driver: Okie-dokie, no problem.
Mr. Little: (gesturing behind himself) Follow that flying mouse!
Driver: Okie-dokie, no problem.
(Meanwhile, the can containing Snowbell, who had been trapped in it by Falcon, rolls out into the street and Snowbell emerges, chasing after the taxicab as it drives away)
NC (vo): They tell the driver to follow Stuart's plane, which in New York sounds stupid easy, as the Falcon continues to chase them.
(The chase leads them to Central Park. The plane flies low as the people walking along scatter. Margalo looks behind her to see the Falcon murderously pursuing them. The plane flies under a popcorn wagon, and the Falcon screams as he realizes he can't stop or change direction in time and he crashes right through the glass of the popcorn wagon)
NC: Aaaand that's when this became a horror film. (A shot of the screaming Falcon is shown in the corner, along with the addition of blood spewing everywhere)
(Meanwhile, the Littles' cab pulls over and the Littles get out)
Mr. Little: Keep it running!
Driver: Okie-dokie, no problem.
NC (vo; as driver): That is my catchphrase. Please tell somebody I'm funny. (A shot of the short-lived TV show Cavemen is superimposed) They'll make a show about anything in this decade!
(Suddenly, the plane shakes violently as Falcon has finally caught up with Stuart and Margalo and sinks his talons into the plane's top wing. The Littles run up and watch in sheer horror)
NC (vo): Falcon catches them, though, and yanks off the top of the plane.
Falcon: A mouse needs to know his limitations!
(Falcon rips the top wing off the plane, and the plane with Stuart and Margalo in it plunges to the ground below)
NC (vo; as Falcon): Falcon punch!
(But amazingly, Stuart manages to regain control of the plane and get it flying again in the nick of time)
NC (vo): The plane pulls up in time, but Stuart realizes he has to face Falcon alone.
(Stuart turns the plane upside-down, dropping Margalo out. He then turns the plane around to confront Falcon, and they come at each other in a sort of game of chicken, with Stuart flying up at Falcon and Falcon diving in for the kill, both with grim looks on their faces. Stuart quickly brings out Mrs. Little's ring, aiming the jewel at Falcon. The bright sunlight catches on the jewel and shines right in Falcon's eyes, blinding him. Then Stuart, still holding the ring, bails out of the moving plane with a cloth as a makeshift parachute)
Stuart: Bye-bye, birdbrain!
(As Falcon's vision clears, he sees, too late, the plane coming right at him. He has only enough to scream in alarm as the plane rams into him, cutting up his body and spreading his feathers everywhere. Stuart cringes as the plane makes contact)
NC: I take it back; now it's a horror film.
(The scene of the plane hitting Falcon is replayed, but this time, again, with the addition of blood spurting as the plane makes contact. The impact destroys the plane, shattering into various pieces. NOTE: It's not shown in the review, but Falcon's body falls into a trashcan where Monty the alley cat is scrounging around for food. When he sees Falcon's body, Monty is delighted at the prospect of actually having something decent to eat. Meanwhile, unfortunately, one of the shattered pieces of the plane shreds Stuart's parachute and he plunges to the ground below. But fortunately, Margalo saves him in the nick of time)
NC (vo): Margalo saves him from falling and he's reunited with his family.
Mrs. Little: You ran away from home!
Stuart: I know.
Mrs. Little: And you had George lie to us?
NC: (as Mrs. Little) And you...
NC (vo; as Mrs. Little): ...bored the baby! (The camera zooms in on Baby Martha in Mrs. Little's arms, looking rather bored; normal voice) Seriously, did she smile once in this entire film?
Margalo: (holding up ring) This belongs to you.
Mrs. Little: (taking ring) My ring!
Margalo: I took it.
Stuart: And now she's giving it back.
NC: (as Mr. Little) Well, she'll have to stand bird trial...put her into some (holds up index finger and thumb close together) tiny bird cuffs...take her to a... (Cut to a shot of a parrot in a cage) ...bird penitentiary... (Suddenly speaks normally, sounding flustered) I'm sorry, that "little vandals" line got me asking questions about this world!
(Sometime later, Margalo prepares to leave the Littles to migrate south for the winter)
NC (vo): They return home, and Margalo admits she's always fantasized about flying south for the winter.
(Margalo looks up to see a group of birds flying across the sky in typical V-fashion)
Margalo: I'll miss you, Stuart. (The family smiles) I'll miss all of you.
NC: (as Margalo) I always dreamed of having a family so I can get as far away from them as possible.
Margalo: (starting to fly off) Little high, little low!
Littles family: (in unison) Little hey, little ho! (They wave goodbye to her)
NC: What the hell did you call me?
Martha: (waving) Bye-bye, birdie.
(Surprised, Mr. and Mrs. Little look at Martha)
Mrs. Little: Did you hear that?!
Mr. Little: I don't believe it!
NC (vo): Well, that was worth a B-story! Did you hear about that talking mouse, bird and cat that defied logic? Who cares?! A baby who's supposed to speak at some point spoke! I've had bowel movements with more intrigue!
(The movie ends with a skyline shot of the city at sunset)
NC: And that was Stuart Little 2. I guess I could be really harsh on it, but...at a running time of an hour, ten minutes, what's the point?
(Footage of the movie is shown one more time as NC gives his final thoughts)
NC (vo): It gives pretty much exactly what it promises: a little adventure with a little mouse and a little bird. Occasionally, I'll get a chuckle and a cute moment here and there, but there's not a ton in it for adults. However, I don't think there's supposed to be. It's just a quick children's movie with a lot of cliches, but they fly by so fast and don't even have time to be really that insulting. Being a sequel to a film that's not much like the source material, I think people know this is also not going to be much like the source material. It's hard to be that disappointed. I think for a little bit of kids entertainment to go in one ear and out the other, it gets the job done okay. Nothing much for grown-ups, but for kids, I think it's an alright way to spend an hour and ten minutes.
NC: I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. (gets up and leaves)
Channel Awesome tagline – Snowbell: I need to go tinky!
(The credits roll)