Channel Awesome
Stormwatch #0

Stormwatch-0-768x339.png

Released
September 29, 2017
Running time
28:04
Previous review
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A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Beginning 1-2
Tagline
We're definitely watching it... we're just not impressed by it.
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(We open on the following message: "If you do not care for the storyline segments, the review portion begins at 3:37. If you do care for them, watch the segments in the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic #11-12 review before this." We then truly open by continuing where the last review left off, with Lord Vyce on deciding to eliminate The Entity once and for all, even if it means getting the Earth swallowed up in the Singularity. 90s Kid, standing off to the side in pain and clutching at his arm, is terrified)

90s Kid: Please, Vyce, don't do this! You're smarter than this!

Vyce: While you may act the part of a clown, you are the only one amongst the Champion's companions that I have respect for. You recognized the danger before the others and knew to act on it. I am sorry for what must do to protect all of reality.

(He pushes some buttons on his armor and 90s Kid is teleported to the brig with Linkara's friends)

Vyce: (folds hands together) As it was before, shall it be again. Lord Vyce alone with his ship against the Entity. Let it take me to the edge of eternity if it must. I will end you.

(As the Singularity enlarges in space, preparing to swallow up the Earth, Linkara's friends pace about in fear)

90s Kid: (groans) It's no good, dude. There's nothing in here we can use to escape.

Dr. Linksano: Indeed. If I had some of my tools with me, maybe, but unfortunately, there's also a dampening field in place. My goggles are just working on regular vision right now. No, wait! Twitter's still working, so not a total loss.

Harvey Finevoice: Well, we gotta do something. We can't let Bucket Brain do that–

(He is interrupted by a beeping, followed by Linkara's voice over a communicator)

Linkara: Uh, guys, what's going on?

90s Kid: Linkara?

(Linkara is on his ship)

Linkara: Yeah, it's me. Why is the portal getting bigger? The Entity killed itself again; we need to shut that thing down!

90s Kid: It's Vyce, dude! He's gone totally bogus! He thinks the Entity just tricked us all again and is gonna use the portal to swallow the Earth and stop it!

Linkara: Argh! Because of course he did! (takes a breath) Okay, the portal will close on its own if the Entity goes into it, right?

Dr. Linksano: Right. I can try to access the satellites to reverse it. Unfortunately, we're kind of in the brig right now, and the longer we wait, the larger the portal will get and the harder it will be to do that.

Linkara: I think I have a plan forming. Give me a little time to work on it.

Harvey: How long?

Linkara: Mmm... Twenty, thirty minutes. (pushes some buttons) You know, length of a review, I think.

Harvey: (incredulously) Seriously?! Right now?! Kid! Priorities!

Linkara: I do have my priorities. One of those priorities is the ability to pay rent should we survive all of this. I'll call you back when I'm ready.

Pollo: (to Linkara's friends) You know, one of these days, he's gonna be halfway through the review and we'll have already saved the world without him.

(To a dramatic sting, the screen goes black. Then the AT4W title sequence plays. The title card has "Bohemian Polka" by Weird Al Yankovic playing in the background. In his darkened room, Linkara pushes some buttons on a remote control, muttering to himself as he does so. He then looks up to see he's on camera)

Linkara: Oh! (waves) Hello, and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. Our final Patreon-sponsored review for a while... and possibly my final review ever if I fail to stop the world being absorbed by a dimensional portal. If that happens, (holds up hand) sorry, my bad, everybody.

(Cut to the cover of the Super Nintendo game Chrono Trigger)

Linkara (v/o): The sponsor in this case almost did not make it a comic review, initially wanting me to cover the SNES game Chrono Trigger. However, I've been kind of really busy lately.

Linkara: You may noticed a few delays in episode releases if you're really paying attention.

Linkara (v/o): And as such, a video game would probably require a lot more time investment on my part, so I said that would be fine, but only if we did it in 2018, given how October through December are usually pretty locked up for what I'm covering.

(Cut to the cover for "Stormwatch #0")

Linkara (v/o): As such, to get the review done much sooner, they went with their second choice: "Stormwatch #0", their very first comic book. It's an early Image comic, this one created by Jim Lee. The basic concept was a United Nations-sponsored superhero team designed to end global crises before they escalate.

Linkara: Because throwing superpowered beings with anger management issues into volatile situations is always the best way to calm things!

Linkara (v/o): Credit where it's due: "Stormwatch" is a pretty awesome name for a superhero team. As a reminder, early Image was structured into various studios owned and operated by each founding member of the company. So, "Spawn" was made by Todd McFarlane Productions, "Youngblood" was made for Rob Liefeld's EXTREME Studios, and "Stormwatch" was in Jim Lee's Wildstorm Productions. As the speculator boom lessened in the mid-'90s, Jim Lee decided to see Wildstorm off. Aaand it was bought by DC. Wildstorm was kept separate from the main line of DC for a while, acting as another imprint of books, much like Vertigo, but then "The New 52" came around, and for whatever reason, DC decided to integrate the Wildstorm characters into the main DC Universe – for better or worse. Personally, I kinda dug the "New 52" version of "Stormwatch" for the first few issues, but my interest waned pretty quickly. However, we're not here to talk about that version of "Stormwatch", but the original.

Linkara: The Patron recalled that "Stormwatch" was one of the better early Image titles, so (holds up today's comic) "Stormwatch #0" and see if that's the case.

(Cut to a closeup of the comic's cover)

Linkara (v/o): Not off to a good start with the cover, which is awful. It's three people standing around, glaring at the reader, as if they're pissed off at you for picking this up. Hell, the main guy in the center has a blue glowing eye that's probably gonna shoot off a laser at you. Or maybe he's a cyborg and he's just shining a very bright laser pointer at the camera. That works, too.

(The comic opens to the first page)

Linkara (v/o): We open IN SPAAAAAACE, where a giant boomerang-shaped space station is in Earth orbit.

Narrator: To the casual observer on Earth, it appears as nothing more than one of many stars in the night sky.

Linkara: (narrator voice) Screwing with a lot of astronomers.

Narrator: But in reality, it is the United Nations' colossal space station, Skywatch, the base of operations for the U.N. crisis response team, Stormwatch.

Linkara: Turns out this whole thing was just a project for The Weather Channel.

Narrator: Skywatch's prime directive is to safeguard the entire planet by deploying its Stormwatch operatives to defuse global crises before they become disasters!

Linkara: I bet there's a sign on the break room wall: (holds up hand) "This many days since global crises became disasters".

Narrator: With a crew of eight thousand highly trained and specialized personnel to support the Stormwatch teams, Skywatch can keep an ever watchful eye on the events that transpire on the world below it.

Linkara: (narrator voice) And yet, somehow, I still can't get a decent parking spot in this place.

Linkara (v/o): A cloaked ship manages to attach itself to the station, with a small team that's planning on breaking into it.

Teammate 1: We're going to make a slight detour on the way to the computer core.

Teammate 2: What detour?! There's only thirty minutes of power left on the cloaking device!

Linkara: (as this teammate, fidgeting in his seat) Look, I didn't get a chance to go to the bathroom before we left, and I've been holding it in for an hour!

Linkara (v/o): We cut to the "Stormwatch Combat Training Center", AKA Stormwatch's holodeck. Here, we're introduced to Battalion, the leader of Stormwatch, who has a fishbowl on his head, and Fuji, AKA Badrock Body Variation #218. Fuji is introduced as "Japan's champion sumo wrestler", who got imbued with amazing powers beyond his wildest dreams. The two are sparring in the cityscape, naturally doing lots of collateral damage in the process.

Linkara: Nothing defuses global tension like leveling buildings!

Linkara (v/o): Naturally, with a name like "Battalion", his powers are... psionic.

Linkara: I guess, where he comes from, a military battalion fights their enemies (points to his temple) thinking really, really hard.

Battalion: There are three simple rules to live by, Fuji.

Linkara: First, never get involved with a land war in Asia.

Battalion: Rule number one, never leave the back door open.

Linkara: Dude's never gonna get over that time someone broke into his house, is he?

Linkara (v/o): They exchange some blows, but back over to the infiltrators. Their leader, Marco, is tracking down someone in particular, wanting revenge for something that happened ten years ago. They run into one of the station's personnel.

Guard: Hey! This is a restricted area. What're you doing here?

Linkara: Well, gee, dude, they're running around with giant guns in a restricted area. (sarcastically) What do you think might be their deal?

Linkara (v/o): I mean, with 8,000 personnel, I wouldn't expect this random guy to recognize them or anything, but again, the guns and storming through and matching red uniforms seem like a dead giveaway that something's up and maybe confronting them for their hall pass would be a bad idea. Then again, maybe he just got confused by Marco's posing. The hell is he doing? Did he feel he didn't get enough exercise for his calves or something this morning? Anyway, Marco shoots him, much to the irritation of one of his men. However, since the guy keeps complaining the revenge thing is distracting them from their main goal, Marco shoots him through the head, too. Also, gotta love how they're using these futuristic-looking flashlight guns, but they apparently just shoot a normal bullet.

Marco: I'm here to kill a man for what he did to my brother!

Linkara: (as Marco) I've got to be honest, I'm really in the mood to shoot things right now!

Linkara (v/o): The others agree to help him with his revenge, but if this ends up screwing up what they came here to do, they'll shoot him.

Marco: Fair enough, Tasha.

Linkara: (as Marco) I'm the reasonable revenge-crazed killer. (holds up hand) That sounds perfectly fair.

Linkara (v/o): Back on the holodeck, Battalion and Fuji continue hitting each other.

Battalion: Rule number two, Fuji. Never let your guard down!

Linkara: (as Battalion) Rule number three: never feed them after midnight.

Fuji: So Battalion-sensei, to save myself further embarrassment, what is rule number three?

Linkara: (as Battalion) No parking on Sundays.

Battalion: That's the easiest one, my friend. Never forget rules one and two.

Linkara: (as Battalion) Also, blah, blah, blah, Fight Club references.

Linkara (v/o): The alarm goes off, interrupting the two.

Battalion: Weatherman, this is Battalion, what's going on?!

Linkara: (as Battalion) My God! There's a cold front moving in the Northeast and there's a 30% chance of rain downtown!

Linkara (v/o): Actually, maybe this is just the end result of Nick Cage's character in Weatherman. Not where I expected the sequel to go, but I'm willing to give it a shot. In reality, the "Weatherman" is the guy coordinating Stormwatch's efforts and informs the two of the invaders, also letting them know that said invaders are headed his way. And as if on cue, they reach the holodeck and attack, unloading dozens of bullets on the two... until they realize that it's actually a hologram they were shooting at. The real ones come out and subdue their would-be assassins.

Battalion: I told you I'd be waiting for you, Marco.

Linkara: (as Battalion) You're half an hour late for our date!

Linkara (v/o): Fuji stops him before he can beat Marco up anymore, although, of course, with '90s artwork being what it was, it just looks like he stopped himself once he got enough ketchup on his hands and Fuji is just lightly putting his hand on his shoulder and going, "No, stop, please." So there's nothing to indicate he was out of control. Fuji wonders who the hell this guy is, but Battalion says he's just a bad memory that won't go away. We cut to Battalion in the shower, which has three showerheads on it. I suppose you need that many for Liefeldian physique, but still...

Narrator: As he stands beneath the steaming shower, Jackson King wishes that the hot water could wash away the painful memories from his mind as easily as it does the blood and sweat from his body.

Linkara: Mmm... (shrugs) I think they make an Irish Spring variant for that.

Linkara (v/o): A beep, presumably a doorbell or something, gets his attention and he walks out of the shower, met by this blonde woman [Christine] who has already gotten inside.

Battalion: How'd you get in here, Christine?

Christine: One of the privileges of power, Jackson.

Linkara (v/o): Another privilege of power: being allowed to wear lopsided belts. Anyway, the report on the invading force has been restricted and she wants to get some details straight from Battalion. He refuses to talk about it, and she walks out.

Christine: I just thought it would help to talk about it. Fuji said you were taking it pretty hard and asked if I could help.

Linkara: I've seen this guy over the course of fourteen pages, and I haven't seen him smile once. How would you be able to tell his emotions one way or another? After she leaves, Battalion looks at himself in the mirror and turns off a psionic mask he has over himself that hides scars all over his body – that are all a very bright shade of pink.

Battalion: (narrating) But I can still remember a time... when there were no scars. When there was only a dream and the hope for a better world.

Linkara: (as Battalion) It was back in high school when I dreamt of taking Cadence to the fall formal dance.

Linkara (v/o): In a two-page spread, he remembers some backstory. The previous space station, Monitor 1, had been caught in a mysterious comet's tail and thousands aboard it had been killed from the radiation coming from it. The rest were mutated into these Wolverine ripoffs.

Linkara: Now they're radioactive, bub! That can't be good!

Linkara (v/o): His father was among them, and they became an evil force called The Warguard. However, the progeny of the Warguard ended up with superpowers as well, and thus they formed Stormwatch. We cut back to the UN headquarters in 1978, as Battalion is competing with two others, Foster and Maya, over who gets to become the leader of Stormwatch. Foster, as you can imagine with that name, is Australian.

Foster: What's wrong, Abo? Too much competition and not enough affirmative action for ye?

Linkara: (as Foster) Oy, my racism is charming and not a detriment to the team or anything!

Linkara (v/o): Just to show off his complete dickishness, the two are on treadmills... and Foster just goes and punches Battalion.

Foster: Backlash always said you talked to [sic] much, Jackson!

Linkara (v/o): And I say you didn't have anybody proofread that bit, so you used the wrong version of "to".

Foster: A real leader's got to be a man of action!

Linkara: (as Foster) A real leader randomly attacks his teammates in order to win a competition!

Linkara (v/o): In response, Battalion lays him out with one punch. Later, the team is together and trying out their new outfits, with Battalion's outfit in particular enhancing his psychic abilities. However, before they can get some more specifics about them, a nearby wall explodes. A group of terrorists enter, armed with guns.

Terrorist: We are soldiers of the Third World Liberation Front.

Linkara: (as this terrorist) We're looking for donations and are offering home remodeling and redecorations services.

Terrorist: Because of the United Nations' complicity with the imperialistic American government in its attempt to enslave the disenfranchised and impoverished of the third world... it is about to be taught a lesson in the true meaning of power.

Linkara: (as this terrorist) We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. (reaches hand out) Here's a helpline phone number where you can lodge a complaint should you so desire.

Linkara (v/o): They start stealing information reels from a computer and the proto-Stormwatch team is nearby, Foster chomping at the bit to leap in and attack, but Battalion keeps him at bay, saying they need to wait for their trainer, Backlash, to come in so they can keep the civilians safe. He soon arrives, using a pink energy whip to grab one terrorist by the neck and toss him around.

(Cut to the obligatory clip from Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers)

Zordon: Too much pink energy is dangerous!

(Cut back to the comic)

Linkara (v/o): With his arrival, they get to work. Foster is basically like Cyclops in that he can project energy beams from his eyes. The difference is that he can actually control where the beams go, having them bend around one person and hitting a terrorist behind them. Battalion, who had been telepathically coordinating the teams, is shot by a terrorist in the arm because of the shocking abilities they've exhibited. He uses a psychic blast against the guy's mind, much more powerful than he had intended, and we see that this is Marco's brother [Pedro], who is basically left catatonic from the mental attack. Marco grabs his brother, shocked by this turn of events, and is soon captured, along with the rest of the terrorists. He swears revenge against Battalion.

Marco: I'll be back! Do you hear me, Jackson?

Battalion: I'll be waiting, Marco.

Linkara: (as Battalion, pointing to camera) I'll be sure to let you know that I was waiting for you, too.

Linkara (v/o): Battalion, who had apparently been having some reservations about Stormwatch, not that we can really see, agrees to be the leader of the team on the condition that his higher-ups never try to recruit his brother into the program, wanting him to have a normal life. We cut to Washington, D.C., where one of the terrorists had managed to escape and talk to some lady about how the attack failed and they couldn't get the data they were after. The woman says it's time to proceed to Phase 2, holding a folder called Project: Genesis.

Linkara: (confused) Phase 2 is terraforming planets?

Linkara (v/o): Stormwatch is revealed to the public, where we also learn Foster's superhero codename: Flashpoint.

Linkara: Ironically, he was not rebooted into "The New 52".

Linkara (v/o): And so, our comic ends with Battalion reflecting on all this and how much harder things would end up being, and he has to make sure that the future he fought for will be maintained, if only for the sake of his younger brother.

Linkara: And hopefully, your brother won't someday have to go on a revenge quest on a space station to avenge you, dude. (closes comic and holds it up) This comic... (hesitates) eh... mostly sucks, but compared to other early Image comics, it's more just on the mediocre side.

Linkara (v/o): Writing-wise, it's okay at best. The format is fine, with the guy seeking revenge and then getting a flashback to what the guy was after, seeing some of the early days of Stormwatch and learning some character dynamics and development, but honestly, it's just dull. The villain doesn't even get an interesting name or anything, it's just "Marco". The dialogue is boring and trying at some points to sound like characters are badass, but really, they're just played out. At least we see them interesting superpowers. The costumes leave much to be desired, but that's standard at Image at the time. The artwork is bad. Admittedly, the flashback sequence has a different artist in the beginning who is much better, but it's still not very good, lacking backgrounds or overdetailing everything, so it looks far too crowded. Hell, just look at the three heroes inside of the UN headquarters and their outfits. It looks Battalion's gonna lean to the left too much and knock over some expensive tech. Overall, just a rather crappy comic, but hey, if it got the Patron into comics, more power to them.

Linkara: If we do have a "next time", October's starting up next week, which means "A Nightmare On Elm Street"–

(Suddenly, he is interrupted by an electronic whooshing. He smiles)

Linkara: Ahhh... Speaking of nightmares... we're ready.

(Cut back to Lord Vyce as he watches as the Earth slowly advances toward the ever-widening Singularity on the main screen. Suddenly, the image is replaced by Linkara, again possessed by MissingNo, eyes glitching)

Vyce: I was right.

MissingNo: Hello, tin man.

Vyce: According to my sensors, the hologram projectors aboard that ship are not producing that hologram. And yet Linkara's lifesigns remain. It would appear you repossessed him. Your end is near.

MissingNo: Is it now?

Vyce: The portal will continue to expand. When even the satellites feeding it are engulfed, I will augment this ship to continue the growth. This universe will be consumed if it means stopping you.

MissingNo: And what shall you do when the dragon flies away, hmm?

Vyce: ...What?

MissingNo: This ship has interdimensional engines. I can flee to another universe and feast upon it. Why not? This one is clearly doomed. (Vyce stares in disbelief and looks around) Tiny tin man with a tiny tin brain! (cackles)

(The image of MissingNo then disappears, replaced by the Singularity again)

Vyce: Computer, prepare to fire! (then stops himself suddenly) No, no, the weapons are ineffective. No, I must end this in person!

(Vyce stands up, holding his gun. We then cut briefly to the two Comicrons side by side before Vyce teleports onto Comicron 2. He fires his gun at MissingNo, knocking him down onto the Futon. Vyce briefly continues to unload the energy beam onto MissingNo to pin him down, then stops firing and walks up to the control panel, where he pushes some buttons)

Vyce: The final end.

(Comicron 2 starts moving toward the Singularity. MissingNo looks up at Vyce)

MissingNo: So small, so quick to assume.

Vyce: Be silent, monster!

(Vyce fires at MissingNo some more to keep him in his place, then pushes some more buttons)

MissingNo: You think you have won, but I am part of this ship now. I can redirect it as I wish.

Vyce: No, you cannot.

(Comicron 2's engines fire up and the ship starts moving much faster toward the Singularity now. Onboard Comicron 2, Vyce keeps pushing buttons)

Vyce: I will keep overloading the engines and locking the controls. I know you will attempt to repair it, but I shall keep you distracted. You will remain here, watching as I, Lord Vyce, finally defeat you!

(Comicron 2 continues on its course toward the Singularity)

Vyce: We are approaching the Event Horizon, demon. I will teleport away and leave you to your fate. There is no escape! Checkmate.

MissingNo: Oh, Vyce, you're so slow on the uptake. We're not playing chess. (MissingNo's eyes stop glitching as Linkara's normal voice returns) We're playing poker!

(Suddenly, the screen on the ship turns on, revealing Linkara there)

Linkara: (triumphantly) And I was bluffing!

Vyce: (stunned) Champion?! W-What on...

(He looks toward what he thinks is the possessed Linkara, who laughs and shucks his vest, revealing a chip on his shirt; he is in fact Holokara. He then disappears, leaving the chip behind)

Vyce: (incredulously) A portable hologram projector?!

Linkara: (points to Vyce) Your technology! Thanks for that, bud!

Vyce: Where is the Entity?!

Linkara: Definitely dead this time!

Vyce: YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!!

Linkara: Maybe I don't. But I'm pretty sure this time. (sternly) And I am not going to let you hurt anyone else because you refuse to accept that.

Vyce: (panicked) I... I must turn this ship around! (frantically pushes some buttons) I must find it! I must... (voice trails off, however, as he realizes, to his horror, what he had just done) I overloaded the engines. I can't turn the ship! (looks up to Linkara on screen) Save me! We have to resume the hunt! We have to find it! The Entity will continue to annihilate innocent worlds unless we stop it!

Linkara: Indeed. And that's why I'm stopping it now.

(The image of Linkara is then cut off, replaced by the words "END TRANSMISSION", along with both the AT4W and ISO (Independent Space Organization) logos. Then the image of the Singularity returns, larger than ever now, as Comicron 2 is about to enter. Lord Vyce frantically feels around the controls, trying to do something, anything to avoid the inevitable, but it's no use. He looks up in alarm as the ship is bathed in blue light from the Singularity)

Vyce: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

(As Vyce continues to scream, Comicron 2 enters the Singularity. We then cut back over to Comicron 1)

Harvey: Okay, that's great and all, but how does it stop the portal?

Linkara: Watch.

(After a few seconds, the Singularity starts to contract and shrink, no longer a threat to the Earth. The Singularity then explodes in a blue light with a ring emanating out from it (not unlike the Death Star when it blew up) before disappearing for good)

Linkara: Remember, Vyce turned himself into a creature like the Entity; a being of pure data. I guess the portal thought it was close enough.

Pollo: So... that's it? The end of both Vyce and the Entity.

90s Kid: Gotta say, dudes, this is a bit of a bummer. I got to know the dude over the last few years. He was just trying to do what he thought was right.

Harvey: What he thought was right was conquering, killing, and being a cigarette butt (brings his fist into his hand) smashed into the face of existence. Good riddance, I say.

Dr. Linksano: Indeed. If I believed in Hell, I'd be quite happy to know he's rotting there.

Harvey: And for that, you'll excuse if I say this calls for celebration. (throws out arms) Drinks are on me, everybody!

(Everyone else gets excited about the prospect of drinking alcohol, with Dr. Linksano giggling crazily and everyone shouting excitedly. Linkara, however, feels less than enthusiastic as he stares in silence, trying to figure all that has happened in the last few months. We then cut back to Linkara's home as he sits on the futon, brooding over what had happened. 90s Kid comes out into the room)

90s Kid: Dude, everyone's wondering where you are! We're all back together again, the world is safe, it's time to (makes "devil horn" signs with his hands) CELEBRATE!

Linkara: Thanks, but I don't really feel like I deserve to be celebrating right now.

90s Kid: Why not?

Linkara: 90s Kid, I did some pretty terrible things.

90s Kid: Dude, it wasn't you.

Linkara: I'm not so sure about that. You said so yourself. The program was designed to keep the Entity separated from me. He may have influenced me, but most of the time... I was at the steering wheel. I was the one who was willing to compromise what I believed in out of fear of the Entity and what it could do. (90s Kid puts his hands on his arms) Vyce, the Entity, me... we were all afraid of a meaningless future. Vyce had nothing except his hunt. The Entity was without purpose. And I was afraid of that same existentialism, that same sense of unimportance in the cosmic scheme of things. (sighs) Vyce always called me "Champion", but after all this, (shakes head) I don't know. I'm not so sure I see myself as one.

90s Kid: You're not Vyce. You're not the Entity. And the best way to not sleepwalk through eternity is to wake up and live in it. (gestures upward) Come on up and celebrate with us, man.

Linkara: (smiles and shakes head) It's good to have you back, man.

90s Kid: Radical! And you know what? This experience has shown me how much I've grown over the last few years, too. I am no mere kid any longer! (puts hands on hips) As such, you may now refer to me... as 90s Dude!

Linkara: You realize everyone's still gonna call you 90s Kid, right?

90s Kid: Probably. Now come on, dude! I hear you looked at some "Youngblood" comics while I was away and we need to correct some of the mistakes you made in those videos!

(90s Kid walks off, Linkara following behind. A few seconds later, a piece of paper magically appears on Linkara's chair. It is an invitation to Linkara to join the 1,049th Interdimensional Contest of Champions)

(End credits roll)

An organization that WATCHES over the WildSTORM universe, eh? Cute.

They say it was ten years ago that Battalion destroyed Marco's brother's mind. Soooo this comic takes place in 1988?

Two years and a DAY since this storyline started. Thanks everyone for sticking around for it!

(Stinger: The cover for the comic is shown)

Linkara (v/o): "Stormwatch #0" also comes packaged with a trading card! But it doesn't have Mr. T on it, so who the hell cares?

(end)