(The Disneycember logo is shown, before showing clips from Star Wars Rebels)
Doug (vo): Well, after seeing Clone Wars, it only makes sense to watch its follow-up, Star Wars Rebels. It's made by the same people, has similar animation, and a lot of people say it's good. Are they right? (Speaks hesitantly) Yeah...yeah, l-l-let's put it in that category...I guess? Okay, it probably goes without saying, for me, this show runs the gambit in between being goddamn unbearable and having some of the best stuff I've ever seen in Star Wars.
Premise[]
Doug (vo): The story is pretty straightforward, honestly, maybe too straightforward. You can tell this is after Disney took over, because, man, does it have Disney's signature all over the place. An Aladdin-looking street rat named Ezra...and, yes, they do call him a street rat...is an orphaned thief trying to find his place in the world. And seeing how he lives on a planet where the Empire has taken over, it's pretty difficult. However, he quickly makes friends with a kinda Jedi named Kanan, whose training wasn't complete because Order 66 happened, and he introduces Ezra to his team of, you guessed it, rebels. There's a Mandalorian named Sabine, their captain named Hera, their cynical muscle, Zeb, and an annoying as shit trashcan named Chopper. I hate this thing's voice.
(A clip is shown where we hear Chopper's beeping. A picture of the Nostalgia Critic is shown with the subtitle "MY screech has class")
Review[]
Doug (vo): In fact, I'll be totally honest, I hated almost all of Season 1. I remember a lot of people telling me that I could skip Season 1 and 2 of Clone Wars, like, it's so bad, you shouldn't even watch it, and I actually thought it was alright. I got through it okay, despite the problems. That is what this is for me. As soon as this show started, the tone, the dialogue, the acting, everything seemed different from Clone Wars. It's like Disney's prints were all over it and they wanted to do something different, the traditional Disney route. And don't get me wrong, I usually like the traditional Disney route. This actually focuses a lot more on character than story, but that's not how Clone Wars worked.
(Footage from Star Wars: The Clone Wars is briefly shown before cutting back to this show's footage)
Doug (vo): Clone Wars had a ton of story going on, because it was in the middle of a war and the characters came out through the story. That doesn't always work, but when it does, it's very effectively done. This is trying to do the safe route, and for me, it felt so generic, so manipulative, and just not well-written or acted.
(Footage primarily focusing on Zeb and Hera is shown)
Doug (vo): There's only two characters I liked in Season 1. One was Zeb, I think, just because he was a character who didn't want to be there and I could sympathize with that. And the other was Hera, who was the only character who figured things out the same time the audience did. Everyone else was, like, five steps behind, and it was so painfully obvious. Also, there's something cool about her escaping a ship with just a lunch tray and some good timing. I thought that was pretty badass.
(Footage focusing on Ezra and Sabine is shown)
Doug (vo): Aside from that, I couldn't stand these archetypes, and that really is what they were. Ezra's just the whiny brat who needs to be humbled and shown the way. Sabine is a good character when they go into her backstory, but outside of that, she's just the generic fighter. I don't remember anything about her except she's an artist. And, sure, I'll be that guy, I hate her art. They look like stickers you put on Mario Kart racers, it does nothing for me.
(Footage focusing on Kanan is shown, and footage of Kanan being blind is shown the moment Doug starts to speak about it)
Doug (vo): But funny enough, the character I hate the most is Kanan, and I guess that's, like, a lot of people's favorites, and I'll just say, I don't follow it. He should be really interesting, he has to teach Ezra how to use the Force, even though he hasn't had his training completed. But first off, the training goes super smooth. In fact, most of it's offscreen. And second, I'm not a Jedi and I know half the stuff he doesn't know. I mean, he's supposed to be raised as a kid with this stuff, right? And he doesn't know what "do or do not" means? (A photo of Elizabeth Holmes sitting under a wall with Yoda's famous "Do or do not" quote is briefly shown) Unless you're Elizabeth Holmes, everybody understands what this means. But on top of that, he's so generically stoic, he's forgettable, and every single time they do something that's supposed to make him more interesting, it just makes me more angry. For example, there's one season where he loses his sight, and that's not a spoiler, it's literally in the advertising. Go to Disney+, it's right there, you can see he's blind. He just gives up because he loses his sight, and come on. Again, I'm an outsider, and I know that the Jedi can see without vision and stuff. Come on. And even when he's finally introduced to it, he suddenly sees better than when he did have his eyesight. There's one scene where Hera's flying the ship and it's all foggy, and he's like, "Don't worry, I'll guide us." And there is nothing throughout the rest of the show that indicates he's blind! Okay, I love blind characters. (Images of two characters about to be mentioned are shown) Toph, Daredevil, I love them because they work within their limitations, but they do have limitations. This guy sees so well, I don't know why all the Jedi just don't take lightsabers to their eyes. They'll see 10 times better! But he got a laughably dumb haircut at the end of one of the seasons! (Speaks in a more calm tone) Okay, I'm really railing on this guy too much. I know a lot of folks like him, but I think everyone's gonna have a character they hate the most in this show. For many, it's Ezra. For me, it's him. I'm sorry. In fact, in my opinion, you can just skip Season 1. I guess even people that really like the show don't like Season 1, and if you watch the first episode and it doesn't win you over, the rest is the same. I say just skip it.
(Footage focusing on the second season is shown, primarily focusing on Ahsoka and Darth Vader)
Doug (vo): Season 2 on, however, is where it suddenly gets interesting. Yeah, I know. I spent a lot of time really crapping on these characters, but they do get better. Put bluntly, the show is pretty good when it becomes Clone Wars again, and they literally bring in the same characters and voice actors from Clone Wars. Plus, they got James Earl Jones back as Darth Vader in this, and it is chilling to hear his voice suddenly talk to Ahsoka. It was like the merging of these two worlds that's supposed to be the same universe, but they were done so differently, and then suddenly, they're coming together in a way that really makes sense and is beyond chilling. The stuff they do with Vader and Ahsoka is so good, they blatantly rip it off in Obi-Wan. I don't care what anyone says, this is a rip-off, a super die hard rip-off, and Rebels did it a lot better.
(Footage focusing on the clones and Darth Maul is shown, along with the other main characters)
Doug (vo): On top of Ahsoka and Vader, though, you also have a lot of the clones coming back, Darth Maul comes back, and everything with them is fantastic. It's like they get right back into the groove of doing all the great stuff that they did in Clone Wars, they're just instantly interesting. And slowly but surely, that interesting does rub off on the rest of the characters. Like I said, Kanan never quite won me over, but he went from being dumb and annoying to...tolerable, at least. It got to a point where, with the exception of maybe Chopper, I was onboard enough to want to know enough what was gonna happen.
(Footage focusing on the Grand Inquisitor and the Bendu is shown, as well as footage focusing on the World Between Worlds)
Doug (vo): It also seems like every season has something interesting that's introduced. In Season 1, it's the Inquisitors, and they get kinda cooler as it goes on. Season 3, it's this character called the Bendu. It's this guy who's not on the light side or dark side of the Force, he's perfectly in the middle and he doesn't want to interact with anyone, yet he does, and the way he does is kind of interesting. He helps out Kanan, but then later, he's kind of throwing lightning bolts at everybody to go away, and it all kinda checked out. He was maybe the most interesting character in the series. And the fourth season, without going into too much detail, is this portal, where you can kinda go through time and interact with history a little bit, but there's a lot of complications along the way that obviously create a lot of interesting character dilemmas.
(Various clips are shown, primarily focusing on Admiral Thrawn)
Doug (vo): But like I said before, every season has one really interesting thing. All the other stuff is either bad like in Season 1 or just...by the numbers. I remember I was really excited to see Admiral Thrawn was in the show. (An image of the cover of Star Wars: Heir to the Empire is shown which features Admiral Thrawn) Oh, my God, I remember reading about him in the books and he was such a great villain. He was kinda like a quiet but psychotic General Patton. I was so excited to see him finally, like, in anything Star Wars that was moving, and I didn't have to just read about him. I mean, okay, you had TIE Fighter, and...yeah, even that was kind of cool! I'm sorry, I really like this character. But here, he's just another villain. He tries a plan, it doesn't work, but we don't even get the thrill of him getting angry, he just kind of smiles like... (Speaks in a gravely voice) "Oh, it's all part of my plan", and talks like he's Dracula for some reason. And it's really not until the very end that he actually does something intimidating. The rest of the time, he's just a throwaway villain, and that was really disappointing for me.
(Footage focusing on Darth Maul is shown)
Doug (vo): What they eventually do with Darth Maul is kind of underwhelming. Again, I'll try not to go into too much detail, but I think they're focusing on the preciseness of this fight that's gonna happen, kind of like samurais, how it's the very subtle movements that's gonna win a battle. But look at all the other battles in Star Wars. That's not how it works. They jump around and do flips and kicks and all that cool stuff, and Darth Maul was probably the best of them. Suddenly now, with no explanation, it's about the preciseness of the moves? I could buy this if they did it like the movie Hero, when you understand, wow, just in one movement, this person could be dead, so we gotta watch our tracks, but they never do that.
(Various clips are shown, primarily focusing on the series finale)
Doug (vo): It's a strange show where sometimes, they'll introduce something that is so mind-blowing, but then leave out what seems like obvious stuff not to leave out. But I will admit, by the time it got to the finale and it did have kind of an open ending, a little bit of a "to be continued", I did want to know where everybody turned up, and it looks like some of the other shows are gonna answer those questions down the line.
Final thought[]
Doug (vo): So, look, if you love this show and you love these characters, I get it, I understand. There's a lot of great stuff in this series. And like I said, I can't even say I really dislike it. There's just too much to enjoy and so much that's fascinating about it and, again, adds to the world of Star Wars. But I can't ignore I had to sit through a really annoying Season 1 and a lot of filler in the other episodes. But what am I supposed to say? "Don't watch this if you're a Star Wars fan"? That'd be insane. There's way too many good scenes in here, there's way too many incredible moments where I got, like, butterflies in my stomach again. True, most of it was around the Clone Wars stuff, but there were some things with the characters that did kinda pull me in as well eventually. I know there's a lot of people that love it, and I do see why. I understand. Like I said, there's lots of parts of this show that I love, too. I'm glad I saw it. But even the most die hard fan can say it's inconsistent, and the inconsistencies just wore on me after a while. Actually, it wore on me almost instantly. Like I said, this is just kind of how I am. Something about these inconsistencies kind of irked me in a way that maybe they didn't irk you. But it's not a bad show. Like I said, I think it has some of the best stuff in Star Wars in it. It's just getting to it sometimes can be requiring a lot of patience. It may not be perfect, but like I said, if you're a Star Wars fan, it's definitely required viewing.
(A scene showing the main characters getting onto their ship is shown)