Star Trek: The Next Generation/X-Men 1

Star Trek: The Next Generation/X-Men #1
Released	June 24, 2013
Running time	28:27
Previous review	SCI-Spy 3
Next review	Mr. T and the T-Force 2
Tagline	To Boldly Go Where– wait, X-Men and Star Trek? AGAIN?!
Link	http://atopthefourthwall.com/star-trek-the-next-generationx-men-1-second-contact/

Linkara: (wearing a Starfleet uniform) Hello, and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. I'm an admiral now. I've promoted myself. (smiles)

(Cut to a montage of shots of "Star Trek/X-Men #1")

Linkara (v/o): So, waaaay back in 2010, before I even reached a hundred episodes, I reviewed a crossover comic: "Star Trek/X-Men #1". It was a bizarre little pairing of franchises that had absolutely nothing to do with each other. It did have some interesting ideas and a rather amusing moment or two, but overall, the artistic styles of the two did not blend well, the storytelling was rather haphazard, and the plot itself bizarre, anticlimactic, and dumb.

(Cut to a closeup of today's comic, which involves a second crossover between the two franchises)

Linkara (v/o): And of course, people were quick to inform me that it was not the only crossover piece the franchises did together. Hence, where we are today: "Star Trek: The Next Generation/X-Men #1"...

(Cut to the cover of a spinoff novel: "Star Trek: TNG/X-Men: Planet X")

Linkara (v/o): ...which is actually the lead-in to an entire novel where the two franchises crossed over.

Linkara: I'm still in shock that this concept was approved in the first place, so you can imagine my utter confusion that this actually made a second comic and a crossover novel.

Linakra (v/o): I will not be reading the novel, due to a lack of time, and frankly, the comic should stand or fall on its own.

(Cut back to "Star Trek TNG/X-Men #1")

Linkara (v/o): The good news, if you can call it that, is that it's 64 pages, which means that they should have a lot more room to make a decent story. We'll forget for a second that it's not actually 64 pages, but rather, 59, since it's 59 pages of comic, three pages of the editor talking about the problems they had in creating this thing, and then two pieces of badly-drawn promotional artwork. Speaking of, the comic creation actually went very smoothly once they actually had a creative team in place, but the problem was getting the creative team in place. The editor, Tim Tuohy – and I'm sure I'm mispronouncing that – was charged with making the book in April of 1997 and was told that they wanted it out in July of that year, only three months away. For the record, usually, professional comics are completed and in the can several months in advance. It doesn't always work out that way, as we've talked about on the show, but usually, they strive for having things done ahead of time. Three months really isn't a lot of time to put things together, especially when you don't have a story concept or a creative team lined up and ready to work on it. The editor actually had to explain that to then-editor-in-chief Bob Harris and get a much more reasonable deadline. On top of that, you need to get the approval of both the X-Men offices and Paramount for it. (reads text) "Fact 3: Editors can't write the books they edit."

Linkara: Based on what I've seen, that doesn't seem to stop them.

Linkara (v/o): Plus, most of their best writers were busy doing other stuff or were overwhelmed by how to do the project, seemingly because of how big both franchises were that they loved, though I prefer to think that they just couldn't figure out how to make it plausible. And apparently, no one actually thought to ask the actual Star Trek comic writers until the very last if they were up to it, which they were. Also, when you're apparently utilizing the likenesses of the actors, you need the actors' permission to use said likenesses, and frankly, in a lot of this comic, I think they only do a passable job at it, but whatever.

Linkara: So let's dig into (holds up today's comic) "Star Trek: The Next Generation/X-Men #1" and see what sort of madness they came up with.

(AT4W opening titles are shown; title card has "Temporal Wake" from Star Trek: First Contact playing in the background. Cut to a closeup of the comic's cover)

Linkara (v/o): The cover is decent, with a painted look of the wraparound looking pretty neat, although I say that mostly about the Star Trek cast, who all actually look like their real-life counterparts. The X-Men are not as fortunate, particularly the women. Storm and, I think, Shadowcat have it worst. It's hard to pin down what it is, but it just doesn't look right. It might just be me since I have a general idea of what I think these characters should look like, and putting them next to the Star Trek characters makes them look off. Wolverine looks okay, though, albeit like the original crossover, seeing the overmuscled superhero look next to the more realistic people is just bizarre. And of course, this is all for nothing anyway, considering this art style isn't the one used in the comic.

(The comic opens to the first page, showing a description of the events up to this time (as seen in Star Trek: First Contact, along with shots and descriptions of both sets of characters (Star Trek on the left, X-Men on the right))

Linkara (v/o): In all honesty, I really shouldn't be reviewing this for a while. See, in terms of Star Trek continuity, this is supposed to take place right after the events of the eighth movie, Star Trek: First Contact, which we of course haven't reached yet in our look at Star Trek movie comics. However, after getting my hands on a copy of this thing, I really just wanted to review it and, well, here we are.

(Cut to footage of Star Trek: First Contact)

Linkara (v/o): Here's all the basics you need to know: Star Trek: First Contact involved the crew time-traveling and the Borg. This takes place right after the events of that, which explains...

(Cut to the first page of the comic)

Linkara (v/o): ...why we open up with half of Data's face missing.

Linkara: Or maybe he was just practicing his Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster cosplay.

Linkara (v/o): The ship is attempting to return to the 24th century, but as they drop out of warp, they detect none of the usual facilities, and passive scans of the Earth show that it's not the 24th century.

Data: Borg damage to the main deflector dish may have caused a reverse warp in the temporal vortex... propelling us back instead of forwards.

(Cut to the obligatory shot of the Hitler Clones in "Superman At Earth's End")

Hitler Clone: Of course. Don't you know anything about science?

(Cut back to the Star Trek comic)

Data: We are currently orbiting Earth circa late 1990's.

Linkara: (as Capt. Jean-Luc Picard) Damn, we'll need to dress inconspicuously. Number One, I need Pokemon plushies and Beanie Babies. (as Commander Will Riker, covered in Pokemon plushies and Beanie Babies) Way ahead of you, sir.

Riker: Here we go again.

Picard: Number One!

Riker: Sorry, sir.

Linkara: Geez, humanity almost gets destroyed and you almost break your little ships in inarticulate rage, and suddenly you're in a bad mood, Picard.

Linkara (v/o): Later, they hold a briefing.

Picard: What's our status?

Riker: We've engaged stealth mode, the ship's invisible to electronic detection...

Linkara: Because I guess we have that now... (shrugs)

Linkara (v/o): Basically, technobabble, blah, blah, blah, from the movie has screwed everything up and they need certain technology to fix it. Sensor scans indicate that, despite this being the late 20th century, there's Shi'ar technology on Earth. The Shi'ar, if you'll recall, are an alien bird race from the Marvel Universe who usually hang out with the X-Men, and that subsequently Kirk and company didn't recognize in the other crossover. Weird. Speaking of weird, is it just me or is Riker's face absolutely tiny compared to the rest of his head? Picard orders two teams to Earth to acquire it... which includes Data and Worf, the two guys look the least like normal humans. But I guess we couldn't afford the budget for extras, and thus, they're recruited. Also, Troi, what's going on with your face? The shading and highlighting seem to indicate that it's actually some kind of paper facsimile folded in place to look like a face. Riker, Dr. Crusher, and Worf beam down in appropriate clothing, with a cap to cover Worf's forehead ridges, because that totally will fool people.

Worf: These... jeans... are a most uncomfortable garment!

Linkara: Darn right. Why do you think (holds up his leg) I wear pajama pants all the time?

Linkara (v/o): According to their tricorder, the Shi'ar technology they're looking for is inside the Baxter Building, which, at the time this comic was made, was being occupied by a group of supervillains pretending to be heroes called the Thunderbolts. Where's the Fantastic Four, you may ask?

(Cut to a shot of an Avengers comic called "Heroes Reborn")

Linkara (v/o): Why, they were in the middle of an event comic called "Heroes Reborn", where everyone thought they and the Avengers were dead. No, they had a fate worse than death: being written and drawn by Rob Liefeld.

Linkara: Aaaand cue comments from people telling me that only the Avengers and Captain America were helmed by Rob Liefeld, thus ruining my joke, in (holds up hand and closes off each finger as he counts down) five, four, three...

Linkara (v/o): Worf also points out that in the Star Trek universe, the world should be in the midst of the Eugenics War right now, so this all looks a little weird. Of course, we can look to non-canon material for an explanation there.

(Cut to a shot of a Star Trek novel: "To Reign In Hell", which features Khan from Star Trek II on the cover)

Linkara (v/o): A series by Greg Cox called "The Rise and Fall of Khan Noonien Singh", which said that a lot of the Eugenics Wars were actually done in secret, with their full implications not realized until later and tied in a lot of real-life events into them while altering their true cause. Buuut that's neither here nor there.

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