(The Disneycember logo is shown, before showing clips from Spider-Man: Homecoming)
Doug (vo): Spider-Man fans are...interesting. And I mean that in the literal sense. It's not code for bitter, crazy or obsessive.
(Three different images, all descriptions of those three words, are shown. The first image that represents "bitter" is a T-shirt saying "Not My Luke Skywalker". The second image that represents "crazy" includes a mob of fans holding signs next to an image of Rick from Rick & Morty. And the third image that represents "obsessive" is a Photoshopped image of fans crowding over a bus with Oprah Winfrey inside it; the bus's sign saying "Oprah's Favorite Tour")
Doug (vo): I mean, actually interesting. (The poster for Spider-Man (2002) is shown) When the first Spider-Man movie came out, people went crazy. "This is it! This is Spider-Man on the big screen! They totally got it right!" (The poster for The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) is shown) And then, when the second reboot came out, everyone said, "Oh, yeah! That old Spider-Man crap? That's history! This is the one that gets it right! This is the one that finally nailed it!" And now we're on the third reboot, Spider-Man: Homecoming. And...yep. "This is the one that gets it right! The others were crap! This is the one that totally nails it!"
(Several clips that show what Doug is about to describe are shown, including Peter Parker, portrayed by Tom Holland, Michelle "MJ" Jones, portrayed by Zendaya, Aunt May, portrayed by Marisa Tomei, a clip of Peter speaking with his high school friend, Ned, and a clip of Peter interacting with bullies, who are nearly the same age as him)
Doug (vo): Awesome! So we finally get Spider-Man as an actual man? Well, no. He's still a boy again. Okay, the others did that. I guess it'll be nice to see him hook up with Mary Jane again. Oh, she's not even revealed as Mary Jane until the end. But at least she's that confident spitfire...or really cynical, "hates everything" girl now. Well, his relationship with aging Aunt May must...whoa. That's...that's different. Well, it'll be fun seeing him work as a photographer for the Daily Bugle...that's not in this either. Well, at least he still has issues battling bullies, who are...kind of bigger geeks than him. Well, you know what? As long as they get the core, the whole reason for him being Spider-Man, the death of his Uncle Ben...not even mentioned. I'm not even sure if Uncle Ben existed in this universe. (Beat) Wow. That's kind of like taking away Batman's parents. It's...honestly the reason he is who he is. But...this is the Spider-Man we've all been waiting for? I mean, just look at that poster. (One of the film's posters, showing Spider-Man lying down on the ground and chilling, is shown) Isn't that...exactly how we want to see the best version of Spider-Man? Okay, before you bring down that anvil of hate on me, keep in mind, I think this is a good movie. I think you could argue one of the more entertaining, if not, the most entertaining of the Spider-Man films.
Doug (vo): Tom Holland plays Peter Parker this time, and the whole movie is based around him trying to be the Amazing Spider-Man, while also trying to have a normal social life and live up to his hero, Iron Man, played again by Robert Downey Jr.. But, of course, there's trouble on the horizon as an evil villain called the Vulture, played by another Birdman, Michael Keaton, is trying to get revenge for his job in life being ruined. Add a lot of comedy, twists and turns, and some really fun performances, and you get a very funny, very enjoyable Marvel movie.
Doug (vo): Yeah, that's kind of the big difference between this Spider-Man movie and the others. The others were Spider-Man films that just happened to be Marvel. This is a Marvel film that just happens to be Spider-Man. Spider-Man, don't get me wrong, is supposed to be funny and, at times, light-hearted, but it's also supposed to be big. There's a reason he's one of the most famous superheroes there is. It isn't just the powers, it's the story, it's the character, it's the conflict. And that's...dabbled with here, but there's nothing really grand or epic about it. The other Spider-Mans, for all their problems, were big movies. This, I think, is kind of on the level of Ant-Man. I love Ant-Man, but Ant-Man isn't Spider-Man. Spider-Man is Spider-Man. And when I think Spider-Man, I think of him...
(An image of a Spider-Man comic book is shown, with the pages showing an exhausted Peter Parker walking through the city)
Doug (vo): ...walking home after letting his uncle down, his head hanging low, thinking about "With great power comes great responsibility".
(We are then shown a scene with Peter arguing with Tony Stark)
Doug (vo): What I got out of this was, "I really want to make Tony Stark happy." (Beat) Um...nailed it? Now, with all that said, I know exactly why they made these choices, and honestly, they are the perfect choices to make. This is the third Spider-Man reboot in a very short amount of time. People are sick of seeing him get bitten by the spider. People are sick of seeing Uncle Ben get shot. They're sick of all these repeated story elements that we've seen a million times. Marvel, very wisely, takes a completely different angle. It does make it more light, it does make it more fun, it does make it more goofy. You know, not... (An image of the Green Goblin from Spider-Man (2002) is shown) ...Sam Raimi goofy, but Marvel goofy, the goofy that we've all grown to love. From a business standpoint, and an entertainment standpoint, this makes total sense to do. You can't do another big Spider-Man, not right now anyway. You need something smaller, you need something cuter, you need something lighter. They had to deal with the limitations of the audience's knowledge, which is they've already seen two Spider-Man series, and more are apparently on the way. (The poster for Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is shown) So, yeah, the changes to this movie are actually very clever, I'll even go as far to say, needed to be done.
(Three different scenes, one showing several New York people talking with each other, one showing the film's villain, Adrian Toomes/Vulture, and one showing the final battle between Spider-Man and the Vulture, are all shown, before resuming showing various clips)
Doug (vo): I like that they focus a lot on the high schoolers and the New Yorkers and their overall goofy attitude. Keaton is, hands down, my favorite Spider-Man villain, both being kind of funny but legitimately creepy at the same time. And the action, while not as epic as the other films, is still a lot of fun and very smart. I just don't get why everyone says this is their big, epic Spider-Man movie. Be really honest. If you knew nothing about Spider-Man and you just went into this film completely blind, would you say this is one of the great superhero movies? Would you say that was huge, epic, "I can see this lasting for years and years"? I...honestly can't. But at the same time, compared to the other Spider-Man movies, there's kind of fewer flaws. The Sam Raimi films, you can make fun of how goofy and over-the-top and awkward they are. The [Marc] Webb films, you can argue how overly complicated they are. Comparatively, this has the least problems, and I think that's why so many people do see it as the best Spider-Man film. But, because I do see Spider-Man as a very big and even very important character, I really feel that size and importance isn't represented here. I hope honestly, as with future movies, they kind of work backwards. Maybe they can show in flashbacks Uncle Ben and something that happened to him, or maybe go more into why Spider-Man does what he does and him growing up and becoming an actual man.
(Several more scenes focusing on Peter interacting with Tony Stark are shown)
Doug (vo): Because here, even though I love seeing him interact with Tony Stark, that's not what should make him want to be Spider-Man. It's funny, 'cause there's a scene where Tony Stark comes in and takes the suit away and says, "You have to figure out why you're doing what you're doing." And...yeah. I really agree with that. The movie should've thought about why Spider-Man is Spider-Man. The other two films did. This one...I guess just wants to be a fanboy of Stark, and...call me crazy, that's not what I think Spider-Man is about. I would like to see more depth, I would like to see it go darker. I'd much rather have a Spider-Man movie go all the way and take risks, because if you don't take risks, you're not gonna be big, you're not gonna be epic, you're not gonna be daring. Yeah, the other movies had problems, but took chances, and they seemed larger because of it. Even though it didn't always work out, they knew they had to try something big and daring with a character who's so big and daring.
Final thought Edit
Doug (vo): So, overall, Spider-Man: Homecoming is a lot of fun, and it is charming, and it is funny, and I enjoyed it a great deal. But there's no way I can say this is the definitive Spider-Man, this is the one that gets it right. It's got the light-hearted feel with a lot of charm, but not much more. And Spider-Man is much more. But like I said, Spider-Man fans seem to love the hell out of it, regular moviegoers seem to love the hell out of it, so maybe I'm missing something. I still had a great time and really recommend it. But in terms of representing one of the greatest superheroes who's been around for years and years, I think we still got a long way to go before this Spider-Boy becomes a Spider-Man.
(A scene showing Spider-Man relaxing in the edge of an apartment building while eating a pizza is shown)