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South Park Movie (Bigger, Longer & Uncut)
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Release Date
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June 28, 2023
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Running Time
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24:05
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Previous Review
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Link
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Video
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(The NC title sequence plays.)
NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it, so you don't have to. In a time where maybe, just maybe...
(Clips of animated content are shown.)
NC (vo): ...more and more people are seeing animation as more grown-up than most grown-up entertainment...
NC: ...you gotta think about those animated films that blurred that line in the past.
(Posters for Fritz the Cat, Akira, Sausage Party, Heavy Metal, Persepolis, and Anomalisa are shown.)
NC (vo): You got your Fritz the Cats, your Akiras, your Sausage Partys, movies that showed American audiences there can be animated films exclusively for adults.
NC: And, of course...
(Footage of South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut is shown.)
NC (vo): ...the 1999 film that challenged the ideas of censorship, scapegoating, and call-out culture, while having a show that oftentimes was the center of all three. I'm of course talking about the foul-mouth wonders themselves, South Park.
(The film's title is shown, with a montage of the film's clips following soon after. "Run" by Ethan Meixsell plays in the background.)
NC (vo): Unlike other animated films based on shows made over a decade earlier, South Park had a bizarre contract that said they needed to make a movie along with their show. Maybe because the show was so low-budget and quick to produce, they figured a movie would be easy, I'm not sure. But rather than waiting for the popularity to kind of die down, the movie was released arguably at the peak of their success. While the show had constant run-ins with parental groups about what can be shown and said on TV, the movie decided to focus on not only the outrage that the show was getting, but the probable outrage their movie was going to get. They had constant arguments with the MPAA about what justified an R-rated film as opposed to an NC-17 film, which many theaters wouldn't show. Like a note they received once that said if there were over 400 swear words the film would be NC-17. So the creators put in this – no joke – 399. Yep, that one extra swear word would've scarred a 16-year-old for life, I guess! On that note, while this film managed to challenge censorship in the theatrical world, YouTube is much less forgiving if even one F-bomb is dropped.
(Footage of NC's cat Chaplin is shown briefly.)
NC (vo): So we'll have our cute kitty Chaplin say words with the exact same meaning but technically aren't swears.
(Cut back to the South Park movie.)
NC (vo): So advertisers can rest assured people who don't want to deal with the real world don't have to.
NC: Right, Chaplin?
(NC glances to one side. We then see that he is looking at Chaplin, who is perched on top of his scratching post.)
Chaplin (voiced by Doug): You said it, feces digester!
NC: Already off to a great start. Let's take a look at South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut!
NC (vo): Actually, the title itself is a perfect sum up of the ridiculousness of MPAA standards. The original title was "South Park: All Hell Breaks Loose", but the MPAA wouldn't allow a title with the word "hell" in it. I think everyone can agree "Bigger, Longer and Uncut" is far more dirty, but it doesn't have the word (shows a clip from "Sleeping Beauty") a Disney character used in a G-rated film in the '50s, so I guess it's okay.
(Stan Marsh is shown walking from his house, singing.)
Stan Marsh (voice of Trey Parker): ♫ There's a bunch of birds in the sky... ♫
NC: The film opens, funny enough, with no swearing at all.
NC (vo): It builds up the oncoming onslaught of indecency by opening with a Disney-style song. In fact, the whole film is constructed like a Broadway-style musical at a time when that really wasn't popular. (Posters for the following are shown: Tarzan, Atlantis: The Lost Empire, and Treasure Planet.) Even Disney was backing off heavy from it. In fact, they (South Park) lost the Oscar for best song to (the album art for the soundtrack to Tarzan is shown) Phil Collins singing one of these pop songs that can vaguely be played on the radio or in the movie. Oh, wait, I'm sorry, (sarcastically) was totally meant for just the movie. The fact that could be played on the radio as well? Just pure coincidence. (normal) Okay, okay, if the South Park guys could eventually stop with this joke, so can I. Bottom line: It was pretty ballsy to do something many movie audiences saw as lame at the time and breathed new life into it, dipping their head to the genre, but still doing it their way.
(Stan has joined up with his friends, and they are all singing and walking down a sidewalk.)
Boys: ♫ Off to the movies we shall go... ♫
NC (vo): The boys are excited because they're finally gonna see the Terrance and Phillip movie, based on the raunchy cartoon they love to watch. As you'd quickly guess, the cartoon and everybody's overreactions to it are a satire of their own interactions with this show and what they presumed were going to be the reactions to the movie.
NC: Hell didn't quite rise up, but Saddam Hussein did die, so there's that.
NC (vo): After walking by a picture of one of the director's sisters, they find they can't get into the theater, because they're not old enough. (sarcastically) Yeah, it's almost like the cartoon you're watching clearly isn't for kids.
Homeless guy: I want six tickets to Asses of Fire.
NC (vo): They get a homeless guy to purchase the tickets, and they're introduced to their favorite cartoon characters [Terrance and Phillip] saying things they've never heard them say on TV.
(Terrance sings "Uncle Fucka" – but every swear that he says is replaced with Chaplin saying a substitute word. This happens throughout the entire video, where every swear word is censored by cutting to Chaplin saying a substitute word.)
Terrance: ♫ Shut your... ♫
Chaplin: Fornicating.
Terrance: ♫ ...face, uncle... ♫
Chaplin: Roller in the hay.
Terrance: ♫ You're a... ♫
Chaplin: (trills) Rooster!
Terrance: ♫ ...sucking... ♫
Chaplin: Gluteus maximus!
Terrance: ♫ ...licking uncle... ♫
Chaplin: Proprietor of tail.
(Terrance and Phillip have broken out into rhythmic farting. They've left their house and onto an intersection handled by a Mountie. Soon, everyone joins in with them.)
NC (vo): It probably goes without saying, but the songs are massive toe-tappers, and everyone credits [Trey] Parker and [Matt] Stone. But the composer, Marc Shaiman, who's written many catchy themes in the past, (the poster for The Addams Family pops up) also deserves a ton of credit. It's pretty cool how people naturally underestimated this team's musical abilities. Yet, they would go on be (the poster for The Book of Mormon is shown) nominated and even win almost every musical award there is.
(We are the scene where the kids are skating at Stark's Pond.)
Stan: We just went to see the Terrance and Phillip movie.
(All the kids turn and gasp, then crowd in on the boys.)
NC (vo): The next day, the boys talk about the movie they saw and share their colorful new vocabulary. Stan is thrown off, though, when he sees Wendy, the girl he's in love with and keeps puking on. Yeah, that's also kinda fun revisiting these old South Park tropes they haven't used in a while. But it looks like she's being courted by a boy named Gregory.
Wendy Testaburger (voice of Mary Kay Bergman): Wanna skate with us?
Gregory (voice of Trey Parker): We've been skating all morning and laughing, and talking of memories' past.
NC: I could be wrong, but I swear this is based on Nigel from Top Secret! (We are shown footage of said character.) I never heard them confirm that, but come on.
Gregory: Get lots of sleep. Tomorrow, we will be risking our lives...for freedom.
(We are then shown footage from Top Secret!)
Nigel "The Torch" (Christopher Villiers): Hillary, how wonderful you've returned to me now, when I so desperately need you by my side to fight for the cause. Our cause.
NC: Though, surprisingly, this isn't the film that has the "cow mounting him" scene in it! (The scene where the bull gets on top of Nigel in a cow suit is shown.)
NC (vo): Soon, all the kids see the movie and are using the same colorful language.
Kyle (voice of Matt Stone): You can't say...
Chaplin: Nookie.
Kyle: ...in school, you...
Chaplin: Screwy.
Kyle: ...fat...
Chaplin: Buttocks!
Mr. Garrison (voice of Parker): Kyle!
Cartman (voice of Parker): Why the...
Chaplin: Whoopie!
Cartman: ...not?
Mr. Garrison: Eric!
Stan: Dude, you just said...
Chaplin: Sexual congress.
Stan: ...again!
Mr. Garrison: Stanley!
Kenny (voice of Stone): (muffled) Fuck.
Mr. Garrison: Kenny!
NC: It's a good time to mention this film has the record for most swear words in an animated movie!
NC (vo): The boys get in trouble for their harsh language, but that's not on Stan's mind, as he still wonders how to win Wendy over.
Stan: Chef, how do you make a woman like you more than any other guy?
Chef (voice of Isaac Hayes): Oh, that's easy. You just gotta find the...
Chaplin: I think I can say this one. I'm not sure with YouTube. Oh, I'll just play this.
(The ending scene from the Seinfeld episode "The Junior Mint" is shown.)
Jerry Seinfeld: DOLORES!!!
Stan: You guys! Do you know where I can find the...
Seinfeld: DOLORES!!!
Kyle: The what?
Cartman: What, is that like finding Jesus or something?
NC: (shakes and nods head) No, Jesus is easier to find and easier to please.
NC (vo): The school panics at the popularity of Terence and Phillip, and in one of the many examples of censorship working against the censor, the school says anyone wearing a "Terence and Phillip" shirt will be sent home, only encouraging the kids to love them more.
(Next is a scene with a News anchor talking about the popularity of Terence and Phillip's movie.)
News Anchor: Is the film destroying American Youth? Here, with a special report is a midget in a bikini.
NC: It's gonna sound weird to say, but I really forgot how random early South Park humor was.
(The next scene shows Mr. Mackey doing a music number called "It's Easy, Mmm'kay" to the children. After that, the kids go back to watch the movie again, and of course, they start swearing again. Then after the film is over, the main characters watch Kenny try to light a fire with a fart. He succeeds, but then the fire spreads all over him. Kenny panics, and Cartman tries to put out the fire with a stick. After a salt truck dumps the salt to put out Kenny, he is then taken to a hospital.)
NC (vo): The school tries to sing to the kids how to say other words, despite them meaning the exact same thing. This works for the moment, but once they see the movie again, they're back to their old ways. They're inspired by the movie to light their farts on fire resulting in – yeah, spoiler – Kenny getting killed.
Dr. Doctor (voiced by George Clooney): Load that IV with 70 CCs of Sodium Pentathol!
NC (vo): George Clooney, an early promoter of the show, has graduated from voicing (an image of Sparky from the show is shown) a dog to voicing a doctor, and even eventually being mocked by the show down the line.
NC: Not gonna lie, that kind of feels right somehow.
(After Kenny has died from a heart replacement with a baked potato, he goes into the afterlife to enter Heaven, but it denies him and he's then sent/dropped down to Hell where Satan and Saddam Hussein live.)
NC (vo): Kenny goes to the afterlife, which, to quote The Three Little Bops, didn't go to Heaven; it was the other place.
(Kenny is then heard screaming when he's in Hell and is tossed around by flaming Hell souls with the song "Hell Isn't Good" plays in the background during all this.)
NC (vo): A moment of gratification for years of me saying "That's James Hetfield singing that," and everybody saying, "No, it isn't, it'd be in the credits." (The South Park Wiki page of "Hell Isn't Good" song is shown, which mentions that it's performed by Hetfield.) WELL, HE IS NOW, B–
Chaplin: Lady dogs.
(Kenny is then being stretched out by the soul eaters.)
NC: (shrugs) Still has better effects than (poster of...) Constantine.
NC (vo): The parents decide the movie is to blame for all their kids' troubles, and seeing how the film is from Canada, they... Well, you all know the song.
Shelia: ♫ Blame Canada! ♫
Everyone else: ♫ Blame Canada! ♫
NC (vo): And yes, as much as we like to mock the Oscars for being dim-witted and out of touch, especially when it comes to animation...
(A clip of the Oscars is shown, in which Robin Williams performs this song, which was nominated for Best Song.)
NC (vo): ...them nominating the song and having Robin Williams sing it, does show they can have a brain every once in a while. Not enough to (an image of Phil Collins winning the Oscar for Best Original Song ("You'll Be in My Heart" from Tarzan) pops up) give it to them, but okay, okay, I'm moving on.
(Cut back to the South Park movie.)
Parents: ♫ Blame Canada! Blame Canada! ♫
NC (vo): This is, of course, a satire of outrage culture, claiming media is destroying the sensitive minds of the country, and censorship is the only answer, never realizing their outrage might be doing more harm than good.
NC: This is, no surprise, still practiced today.
(Cut to a montage of several political articles about boycott or cancellation.)
NC (vo): As it ping-pongs in between political extremes. Yeah, remember "boycott" is totally different from "cancel"! That's something only the other side does, not us!
(Cut back to the movie, as, at the Marsh residence, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman are viewing Late Night with Conan O'Brien.)
Conan O'Brien (voiced by Brent Spiner): Please welcome Terrance and Phillip!
NC (vo): A bunch of parents show up to cancel Terrance and Phillip... I mean, boycott! Sorry, just again, so different! ...when Conan O'Brien, voiced randomly by Brent Spiner and Brooke Shields, voiced also randomly by Minnie Driver, turns them in to the authorities.
Brooke Shields: I farted once on the set of Blue Lagoon!
(Terrance slaps Brooke after a long pause.)
NC: I didn't know I needed a Canadian cartoon slapping Brooke Shields, but that might be the funniest scene in the movie.
Phillip: You loved our movie, Conan!
Conan: What have I done?
(Conan commits suicide by jumping out the window and finally landing on a car.)
NC (vo): Truth be told, I think this entire scene exists just to show Conan on his own show.
(A clip from Late Night with Conan O'Brien is shown, with Conan reacting to this particular part of the movie.)
Conan O'Brien: I sound like that? (speaking like he does in the movie) Well, hello, fellows! Nice to have you here!
NC (vo): The Canadian government gets back at them, though, by bombing the Baldwins. As if they weren't bombed most of the time.
Daniel Baldwin: Do you know what sucks about being a Baldwin? Nothing!
(The Canadian fleet drops bombs on the Baldwin house.)
NC: Fear not, the same team will be much nicer to the Baldwins in the future.
(Cut to a scene from Team America: World Police where Alec Baldwin is being booed at by a crowd.)
Alec Baldwin: Global warming and (stutters a bit) Corporate America!
(Angered, Kim Jong Il shoots Alec Baldwin, who explodes into a gory mess.)
NC: And no doubt, the Baldwin name will always be associated with something good.
NC (vo): The U.S. declares war on Canada, and Kyle's mom takes over as Secretary of Offense... (laughs) God, that's good. ...announcing that Terrence and Philip are to be executed. Again, a nice jab that Americans are fine with vulgar violence just as long as nonvulgar language is being used. Meanwhile, back in Hell... Okay, you gotta love a film when that's a segue. ...Kenny is being tortured by Satan and his lover, a constantly aroused Saddam Hussein.
Saddam Hussein (voiced by Stone): Man, this is gettin' me so hot!
Satan (voiced by Parker): Would you let me do my job, please?
Saddam: Hang on! Rub my nipples while I torture this little piggy!
NC (vo): I know this is played for last, but if you've seen (sn image of Rowena Morrill's artwork from "Shadows Out of Hell" is shown in the corner) the paintings at his home, this honestly isn't far off!
(We then go to a commercial break and the sponsor. Afterwards, we return to South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut.)
NC (vo): Everyone blames Kyle's mom [Sheila] for starting this war, and the kids start to band together to protest it. Stan even decides to get political, because he thinks it'll win over the girl he loves again. Again, tell me you've never seen that happen in real life.
Cartman: This is all Kyle's mom's fault.
Kyle: Shut up, Cartman!
NC (vo): This results in Cartman singing the always classic...
(Cartman sings "Kyle's Mom's a Bitch" but every swear that he says is replaced with Chaplin saying a substitute word.)
Cartman: ♫ Kyle's mom's a... ♫
Chaplin: She-poodle!
Cartman: ♫ She's a big fat... ♫
Chaplin: Lassie!
Cartman: ♫ She's the biggest... ♫
Chaplin: Canine of the feminine breed!
Cartman: ♫ To all the boys and girls! ♫
NC (vo): He even sings it in different languages, like "It's a Small World".
(Cartman leads four different choirs from around the world. When it shows the last one (an African tribe), Cartman turns around to face the camera. The following text appears over Cartman's (brown) face: "NO WAY I'M RISKING THIS ON YOUTUBE".)
NC: Well, I for one give credit that is exfoliating his skin with a beauty mask while singing this number. (nods)
NC (vo): However, if this was to be taken (the text "STILL A GREAT BIG 'NUH-UH' AIN'T CHANCING IT" pop up over Cartman's face) any other way, I for one would be offended by this cartoon that (the disclaimer that appears before the opening of every South Park episode is shown) constantly declares it's trying to offend me, because just like (shots of the following pop up...) Tropic Thunder and Always Sunny in Philadelphia, all these characters are smart, kind, level-headed role models that are clearly saying we need to be exactly like. If that wasn't the case and these were stupid, ignorant morons, hell, even satirizing stupid, ignorant morons, dare I say, there could be comedy involved.
NC: But that's not it. There's a beauty mask, so there's no problem.
NC (vo): As you might have expected, though, Kyle's mom hears the song, and forces Cartman to get a V-chip in his brain. This is a parody of (a shot of Bill Clinton holding a V-chip pops up) the V-chip that was made to block shows like South Park from being seen by children. But, despite so many groups complaining something like this needs to exist, very few parents actually purchased it, proving again it was much more about complaining than actually solving the problem. The scenario, though, takes it to the next step, where, rather than censor what children watch, it censors what they say and even think. I also love them confusing Cartman not wanting to swear with him not being able to swear.
Dr. Vosknocker (voiced by Eric Idle): Success! The child doesn't want to swear!
Cartman: This isn't fair, you sons of bitches– (gets shocked) AAAAGH!
NC (vo; as Idle): I should know. People joked they wanted to crucify me because I joked about crucifixion.
(A shot of the ending scene from Monty Python's Life of Brian is shown.)
NC: At least I...think they were joking about it.
NC (vo): It's also pretty great all these parents talking about how important their children are while totally ignoring their own children.
Stan: (trying to explain to M.A.C. (Moms Against Canada)) You started a war; you have to stop it!
Sharon Marsh: (ignoring Stan) To make them safe again!
Stan: Hello?
Sheila Broflovski: Our children are precious!
Stan: Hello?
NC: (holds up both hands) Wait until the world (the logos of various social media companies are shown in the corner) unites several groups with social media; then we'll all listen to each other. (nods)
(As the movie continues, we are shown a still from What's Opera, Doc?, where Elmer Fudd is carrying the lifeless Bugs Bunny in his arms.)
NC (vo): And the same way so many kids are introduced to classical music via Looney Tunes, I think a lot of us were introduced to Brian Boitano through this song...
Kyle and Stan: ♫ I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two, / That's what Brian Boitano'd do... ♫
NC: And if you're wondering what Brian Boitano thinks of it...
(Cut to a clip of the real Boitano as he gives his thoughts on his appearance in the movie.)
Boitano: It's great being a small part of your journey on South Park.
NC: Well, that makes writing a punchline hard, so...
Boitano: [Bleep!] you all. Get me a [bleep!]king brownie.
NC: Ha-ha! He sucks! Next scene.
NC (vo): The boys send a message to all the kids, saying if they want to help Terrence and Phillip, they all need to meet up. Meanwhile, Kenny hears that Satan is going to take over the world once Terrence and Phillip are killed, as is told in the...prophecy that clearly they're not putting much effort into.
Satan: We used to talk all night long until the sun came up.
Saddam: Well, yeah, 'cause I was still waiting to get you in bed, dummy.
NC: Okay, so... (puts hands together) here's kind of a confession I have about this movie. It's always around this point that I remember it.
NC (vo): I love talking about this film. I look back on it fondly, I remember the commentary, songs, and a fair amount of laughs.
NC: But I also have to admit: it can get a little boring.
NC (vo): And I don't think it's a coincidence that it's around the half-hour mark where I start to think that, because South Park is a half-hour show.
NC: If you're going to drag this out in an hour-and-a-half movie, though, there's two issues.
NC (vo): One is, you can't rely on the animation being visually interesting for that long because, well, it's South Park. That's part of the joke; it's cheap animation. For an hour and a half, though, that's a pretty long time to look at this cheap-ass style. But in that case, the comedy really has to be upped, and...it's good. It's clever commentary and does make me laugh at times. But there are long stretches where the jokes are a little weak or include scenes that don't even end on a joke. The Brian Boitano song ends on a freeze frame. There's...nothing really funny about that. This scene ends with them naming the group.
Kyle: The password is...
Stan: ..."La Resistance".
NC (vo): That never got a laugh when I saw it in the theater. And don't get me wrong. It's not like every scene has to have a laugh, but for an hour and a half of visually dull and not particularly complex characters.
NC: Unless there's continually songs or jokes, there's not gonna be that much entertainment in the moment.
NC (vo): Granted, they were making this while they were also working on the next season and fighting with the MPAA. It's impressive we got what we got, but the film does drag a bit because of it. I find surprisingly this is quite common with comedies that have memorable jokes or commentary like (posters of the following movies are shown...) Krampus or Borat or Life Aquatic. There's a ton of greatness that stays with you, but when you sit through them again, you forget it's a bit of a snoozefest at times. I will admit, though, I'd much rather have a movie stay with me and have boring moments than a film that's entertaining from beginning to end but completely forget about it.
NC: So don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this makes it a bad film by any means but it is an interesting thing to point out.
NC (vo): With that said, when they are doing a song or a joke or both, they really are great. I love they try to make Satan, the Lord of Darkness, almost like a longing Disney princess. He wants to take over the world simply so he can see it. It's obviously kind of a funny idea.
Satan: ♫ Up there, / Up Where the skies are ocean-blue... ♫
NC (vo): And yeah, okay. It's not like this is that deep a song, but for audiences just looking for fart jokes, I guess some of these lyrics can be a little challenging.
Satan: ♫ Without evil there could be no good, / So it must be good to be evil sometimes. ♫
NC: Can you get a little (the scene with Saddam on the couch is shown) bit more distance from Saddam when you say that?
NC (vo): The kids meet up, and despite Stan trying to be the leader, Gregory takes charge.
NC: And I think it only figures my favorite song in the movie is a combination of all the songs.
(Said song is "La Resistance".)
Soldiers: ♫ Tomorrow night... ♫
Gregory: ♫ And serve it to a pig ♫
Soldiers: ♫ Our lives will change ♫
Gregory: ♫ And though it hurts, you'll laugh ♫
Soldiers: ♫ Tomorrow night... ♫
NC (vo): Seriously, this song is just so damn good: the counterpoint melodies, the orchestrations. It's like (an image of the following pops up...) Les Mis if the singing was intentionally bad. The only downside is, it reminds me this movie needs more butters.
(The song ends.)
NC: He [Gregory]'s my favorite character. We need more of him.
(An image of an I Can't Believe It's Not Butter tub is shown in the corner, but with an S added to "Butter" and an image of Butters Stotch added on as well.)
NC: I'll accept the artificial version.
NC (vo): Saddam whips out his... (as NC clears his throat, a gigantic missile appears) weapon of mass destruction, which, I'll admit, watching at home isn't that funny, but in a theater, Christ, does this get a big laugh, so I think it balances it out.
(Cartman, Kyle, and Stan have arrived at a house.)
Stan: We need to speak with the Mole.
(A nine-year-old boy by the name of Christophe comes to the front door.)
NC (vo): They get help from a kid called "the Mole"... Okay, come on. Butters could've been the Mole! Maybe he wasn't that popular yet. I don't know. ...and Saddam sings a song to Satan about how he'll be better to him.
Saddam: ♫ But I can change, I can change. / I can learn to keep my promises, I swear it. ♫
NC: While this song is fine on its own, it is the only musical number where...I start to feel people squirming in their seats.
NC (vo): It's the (as Saddam sings his song, an image of Charlie Bucket from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory appears next to him) "Cheer Up, Charlie" of the flick. You'll get through it fine, but you always forget it's in the movie.
(We then go to the USO show, where a crowd has gathered and the stage has been set up.)
Announcer: Welcome to the USO show!
NC (vo): There's a big USO show before the execution of Terrence and Phillip, which includes Big Gay Al and Winona Ryder.
Winona Ryder (voiced by Toddy Walters): Here's my famous ping pong ball trick!
(Winona shows off her trick. From her point of view, her legs are spread, and it appears that the ping pong balls are flying out towards the troops, but it turns out that she's actually hitting them with a paddle.)
Winona: There, I didn't miss one!
NC (vo): She really stole the show!
NC: Yes, 2023. The only other thing we got on her in (a clip of Winona Ryder at the 23rd Annual SAG Awards is shown) is this meme. What am I supposed to do with this???
NC (vo): Big Gay Al also sings his song, and it looks like part of his name (Saddam's weapon is shown covering Big Gay Al's privates) was exaggerated...
NC: He's actually bi.
NC (vo): ...and the Canadians attack, just as Stan finds the... (clears throat)
(Before Stan's eyes, he spots the Clitoris. In this review, however, all scenes featuring the Clitoris are covered by Dolores' face.)
Seinfeld: (audio) DOLORES!!!
Stan: Tell me how to get Wendy to like me.
Clitoris (voice of Mary Kay Bergman): Dude, you just have to have confidence in yourself. Chicks love confidence.
NC: (shakes head) I'm confident, no matter what I do, this is still gonna get me age-restricted.
NC (vo): On that note, Operation: Human Shield puts all the black soldiers in the front to be shot first, but they move out of the way, letting the others get nuked.
Soldier: Is some people gonna die?
NC: (holds up hand) Wait, wait, wait, are you insinuating that Jar Jar is...the same actor as that guy? Oh, my God, I'm amazed!
NC (vo): Stan leads the kids, but Terrence and Phillip get killed off, allowing Hell to rise. Cartman's V-chip starts malfunctioning, though, and starts shocking others whenever he swears, so, of course, vulgar language saves the day. I also love how the big final swear he uses is just Barbra Streissand's name.
(Having zapped Saddam repeatedly with his V-chip, Cartman turns to Saddam again, his hair all spiky and eyebrows thick and angry. He takes in a deep breath before letting it all out to charge up his final blast.)
Cartman: Fu–
Chaplin: Intimate relations!
Cartman: Shi–
Chaplin: Stool!
Cartman: Co–
Chaplin: Member!
Cartman: A–
Chaplin: Posterior!
Cartman: Ti–
Chaplin: Globes!
Cartman: Bo–
Chaplin: Pocket rocket!
Cartman: Bi–
Chaplin: Hound dog of the fair sex!
Cartman: Mu–
Chaplin: Muff! (An image of a muff for women's hands is shown in the corner.) This kind.
Cartman: Pu–
Chaplin: Front bottom!
Cartman: Cu–
Chaplin: Downstairs!
Cartman: Bu–
Chaplin: Rectum!
Cartman: BARBRA STREI–
Chaplin: Bitch.
(Satan grabs Saddam, holds him up over his head, and carries him over to the edge of a cliff over a fiery pit.)
Satan: I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!!!
(Satan throws Saddam into the fiery pit.)
NC (vo): Satan kills Saddam, and Satan gives Kenny any wish he wants because he showed him he was in a terrible relationship. Kenny wishes everything to go back to the way it was, which would mean he would have to go back to Hell also. This results in Kenny finally revealing himself and...
(Kenny removes his hood, revealing his straw-colored hair.)
NC: (pauses) I'm kinda torn on this.
(We are shown one of the trailers for the movie.)
NC (vo): On the one hand, this was a big selling point in the trailers see what Kenny looks like...
Trailer voice: Kenny McCormick.
Kenny: (muffled voice)
NC (vo): ...and it is a little funny that...well, he looks like any other kid.
(Kenny's face is finally shown.)
Kenny (voice of Mike Judge): Goodbye, you guys.
NC (vo): It's also cool they got animation legend Mike Judge to voice him.
Hank Hill: (dubbed over Kenny) I'm not crying. It's just...I gotta get outta here.
(Kenny fades away.)
NC (vo): But I guess I feel like they did this idea better (a still of Kenny as Mysterion pops up) other times with Kenny feeling what he looks like and even sounds like? I don't know. It's not bad, I just think it's done better later. I'm not sure, I could be alone on that. What do you think?
(Satan jumps into the Hell hole. All the carnage that occurred during the battle disappears, and the field turns into grass and flowers blossom. Fallen people are revived and rejuvenated, Terrance and Phillip among them.)
NC (vo): Everything's put back to normal – Kenny even goes to Heaven because he ironically accepted he would go to Hell – and the final song is sung. Even Free Willy does a big jump at the end.
(Kenny is seen getting wings and a halo as he flies towards the camera. The film concludes.)
NC: And that was South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut. Both dated, but... in many ways, still relevant.
(Footage from the movie is shown as NC gives his final thoughts.)
NC (vo): I think issues of censorship and passing blame onto others for things we don't like is always going to be a thing, just like sophisticated humor and immature humor are always going to be a thing. So it makes sense a movie like this would combine all that. It's a good representation of what South Park was at the time, and both audiences and critics seem to enjoy the film okay. There's been talks of a sequel for a while, actually, their Imaginationland miniseries (a poster for South Park: Imaginationland is shown) was almost going to be a movie, but the team never quite felt they had the proper follow-up. Much like The Simpsons Movie, I don't think it makes sense to do a sequel unless it's years after the finale or maybe even serves as the finale. It just wouldn't feel as large or important if they did it while the show was still going. The same people worked on several projects, though, that had both a (the poster for Team America: World Police is shown) large and hilarious scale, so we're not short any great quality from this group. But for a team that's constantly been in battle over censorship for years and years, I think it's clear their movie talking about censorship has warranted authority worth respecting.
NC: I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. (gets up and leaves)
Channel Awesome Tagline – Saddam Hussein: I love you.