Small Wonder - Was That Real?

Was That Real? Small Wonder
Released	June 2, 2015
Running Time	11:50
Previous Review	Sharkboy and Lavagirl
Next Review	Jupiter Ascending
Link	http://channelawesome.com/nostalgia-critic-wtr-small-wonder/

Nostalgia Critic: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. And welcome to another edition of WTR, a.k.a... Was That Real?

(It cuts to the title card of WTR)

(Cuts to clips from shows like "Dumb and Dumber, "Dog City", "Star Wars: Ewoks", "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" and "The Cowboys of Moo Mesa")

NC (vo): This is where we look at TV shows that may be forgotten by some but remembered by others for just how strange they were.

NC: With that said, have you ever wondered what the worst sitcom of all time is? A lot of you are probably getting ideas in your head already. Like...

NC (vo): ...the Geico "Cavemen" show, or that Rob Schneider comedy...Remember "Homeboys in Outer Space"? And how about "Normal, Ohio", the show where John Goodman was gay...and that was the only joke! I don't even get it!

NC: If you look at a lot of lists, some of these shows are on there, some of them aren't, but the one that is always guaranteed to be on there somewhere is a little 80's sitcom simply known as "Small Wonder".

(The title of said series is shown with the theme song, and then the clips)

NC (vo): Was the movie A.I. too funny for ya? Well, this'll fix that right up. It's a sitcom about a father who invents a robotic girl named Vicki. Despite her doing, oh, I don't know, everything to prove that she's a robotic girl, nobody seems to catch on. They don't even question why she talks like a robot or why she looks like one half of the "Shining" girls.

Bonnie Brindle: (to Vicki) Hiii, I'm here to see your mom.

Harriet Brindle: (to Vicki) And I'm here to see Jamie.

Vicki Smith-Lawson: (pointing to Bonnie) You're in luck. (pointing to Harriet) You're out of luck. Jamie's spending the weekend with his friend Reggie.

NC (vo): Now of course anybody in this situation would think, "Holy shit - this man has created artificial intelligence and can change the world." What's he gonna do? Keep it secret, of course! Because...that's just what people in the 80's did!

(showing Elliot and E.T. from "E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial")

NC (vo): Got an alien? Keep it a secret.

(showing Gary, Lisa, and Wyatt from "Weird Science")

NC (vo): Made a woman? Keep it a secret.

(showing Dr. Douglas "Doogie" Howser from "Doogie Howser, M.D.")

NC (vo): Got a child doctor, oh no, you can exploit that all you want, but...is he GAY?

NC: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

NC (vo): Yep, there's absolutely no reason whatsoever to keep her secret, or really to even have her around. It's only to serve the insanity of the plot. And trust me, there was plenty of that to go around! But that's not to say the nosy neighbors ever didn't notice. It's just - D'OH, they could never quite catch them at the right moment to prove it! But that, of course, doesn't stop the daughter, Harriet...who I swear is just an older version of Pistol ["Disney's Goof Troop"]...to keep hitting on their son, Jamie!

Jamie Lawson: My father got a new job, Harriet. He's gonna make me go.

Harriet: Oh he can't! We'd never get married! I've already picked out the dress...

NC (vo): Because hey! Who cares if they made the greatest scientific discovery of everything ever known everywhere?! Doesn't mean she can't totally ignore it and get some smoochies!

(Jamie opens door)

Harriet: Hi Jamie!

Jamie: Hi Harriet.

(Jamie slams door)

NC (vo): So with such a ridiculous, and even kind of frightening scenario, you'd think this show would barely even make a season.

NC: Now just to give you an idea here, how may seasons did "Veronica Mars" have? (3) Three. How may seasons did "Firefly" have? (1) One...How may seasons did Small Wonder have? (4) Wwwhat the fuck.

NC (vo): Was this show really so good that we needed at least four years of it under our belts? Well remember this is at a time when pretty much any family sitcom idea was watched by somebody. But then again, four years...I-w-whi-di-wha-HOW? How can I accept that while still believing in humanity?

NC: Well...I have a theory. It's bad, yes, but...it does manage to get a few laughs...(Booing crowd sound effect) Hear me out.

NC (vo): Let's look at the most obviously funny thing about the whole entire show: its tone. This is drenched in 80's sitcom cheese. Just look at this opening. It's a masterpiece of sap.

(theme song starts to play, starting with the title card, then showing Dick Christie as Ted Lawson reading a newspaper then laughing at the camera, then showing Emily Schulman as Harriet Brindle listening through a door with a glass then smiling at the camera, then showing Jerry Supiran as Jamie Lawson starting to bite into an over-sized sandwich then smiling at the camera, then showing Nostalgia Critic as Weirdo TurningHis Head and Smiling at Nothing as Weirdo Turning His Head and Smiling at Nothing)

NC (vo): You get all the jokes based around bad green screens an opening like this would suggest. But with this child-friendly tone comes moments that clearly don't fit in with it. For example, there's an episode where the kids take up smoking. It has all the typical clichés you'd see in most non-smoking episodes, but...then it ends on this note.

Jamie: (to Ted and Joan) Remember I told you about Peter Watson?

Ted Lawson: Oh yeah, that bug, smart jock who gave you the chewing tobacco?

Jamie: Well he got this sore in his mouth. He found out it's cancer.

Joan: Oh no.

NC: Christ.

Ted: Aw, Jamie, I'm really sorry.

Jamie: Boy I'll never smoke or chew again.

NC (vo): Yeahh, enough of that shit. We need to say our finishing line with an applauding audience while somebody shrugs to a freeze frame!

Note: This transcript is not complete yet. Please fill some gaps in it if possible.