Sharkboy and Lavagirl

Sharkboy and Lavagirl
Aired	May 26th, 2015
Running Time	28:40
Previous Review	Fantastic Four
Next Review	TBA
Link	http://channelawesome.com/nostalgia-critic-sharkboy-and-lavagirl/

(After the opening credits for the Nostalgia Critic, we cut to a shot of a mansion labeled Robert Rodriguez's House. Robert (played by Doug Walker) is reading something when a kid (Tamara Chambers) pokes her head in)

Kid: Dad!

Robert: I don't have time right now...Rocket?

Kid: No.

Robert: Rebel?

Kid: No.

Robert: Racer?

Racer: Yes.

Robert: I don't have time right now, Racer. I'm writing, directing, editing, shooting, doing composing and providing the catering for Spy Kids 4.

Racer: Do you even have a crew anymore?

Robert: Yeah, he's over there.

(He nudges his head over to Malcolm Ray, who's working on the script on his MacBook)

Malcolm: Hi, Racer.

Robert: Now go play with your siblings who have radical R names.

Racer: But dad, it's my birthday!

Robert: And that's why I'm making this movie for you.

Malcolm: Huh?

Racer: Really?

Robert: Spy Kids 4 was just a lie to trick you. I'm actually making a movie based on all the characters that you created. You know the ones I'm talking about.

Racer: Sharkboy and Lavagirl?

Robert: Sharkboy and Lavagirl, that's right! And all the crazy adventures they go on.

(Malcolm takes a picture from Spy Kids 3 and adds blue armor on Juni and pink armor on Carmen)

Racer: I haven't thought of any adventures for them yet.

Robert: What'd you dream last night?

Racer: Mom said I shouldn't dream that any--

Robert: What else you dream last night?

Racer: Milk and cookies!

Robert: The Land of Milk and Cookies is where it takes place, (Malcolm adds a background of milk and cookies to the scene) and I will give you full credit at the beginning of the film so everybody knows it was your idea.

Racer: Wait, doesn't that just give you an easy out if the movie's bad?

Robert: I prefer to see it as the greeting card before you open your gift. Now off you go. Daddy needs to get some inspiration.

Racer: Oh, are you gonna play your tiny paper flute?

Robert: What can I say? I write so much better with it. Now off you go.

Racer: Oh.

(After Racer leaves, Robert takes a big hit of a joint. Malcolm comes over to him)

Malcolm: Sharkboy and Lavagirl?

Robert: Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

(And we finally come to the review, showing the title of the movie. A picture of Robert Rodriguez is shown, before showing clips from several of his other movies)

NC (vo): In many respects, Robert Rodriguez is a filmmaker's filmmaker. He started off with no money, but made up for it by incorporating what little he had into a unique and clever style. He saved on crew by doing most of the work himself, directing, editing, writing, composing, special effects. He's cheap, quick, and best of all, cool. It's pretty hard not to be impressed with the guy. But not surprisingly, sometimes the fast-paced cheapness can backfire, particularly with his children's films. While the first Spy Kids was a big hit with both audiences and critics, they seem to get more and more childish and gimmicky as they went on. But it's not the Spy Kids movies that people remember being the most outlandishly strange and fucked up.

NC: That distinction goes to The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

(Clips from the movie play)

NC (vo): This is a film that actually starts off by saying it was inspired by the stories and dreams of one of his kids. A charming gesture on, say, a behind-the-scenes featurette, but when you have to put that before your movie, almost like you're trying to already say set the curve pretty low, well, let's just hope the family enjoys it, because for the rest of us...um...

NC: Let's just hope the family enjoys it. Let's take a look at Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

(The movie begins with a quote saying, "Everything that is or was, began with a dream", before revealing who said the quote, Lavagirl)

NC: (Sighs) Okay, filmmakers, as well as the Internet in general, word of advice: If you put quotes around something and the name after it, it surprisingly doesn't automatically make it important. You can do it with anything, really.

(Several quotes NC describes are shown)

NC (vo): "I like big butts and I cannot lie." Sir Mix-A-Lot. "I speck!" Jar Jar Binks. "I made doo-doo in my britches." George Washington...when he was two fucking years old!

NC: Not very happy when you really think about it.

NC (vo): We start with the backstory of Sharkboy as I have to admit it's actually kinda funny and creative.

Max (vo): He was a marine biologist or at least in training. But one day, an incredible, mysterious storm appeared.

NC (vo): This is just exposition for Sharknado 4! Quick, hide all your Tara Reids!

Max (vo): Sharkboy and his father survived but they survived on different sides of the wreckage. Each floating off in different a direction. Sharkboy was completely alone.

NC (vo): Yeah, he looks really torn up about it. (as Sharkboy) (sigh) Should've gotten his adult password for Netflix. The sharks take him in as their own, he grows gils... as most growing boys do and he comes across our main character, Max who decides to take him home.

Max (vo): Then one night, I was visited by a glowing light. An amazing girl with purple flames for hair and skin of molten lava rock appeared. I called her... Lavagirl.

NC/Lavagirl: Uh, actually it's Amanda.

NC/Max: Lavagirl.

NC/Lavagirl: Why do you feel like you need to name me?

NC/Max: Lavagirl.

NC/Lavagirl: Does Rodriguez always name kids after things.

NC/Max: Lavagirl.

NC/Lavagirl: Okay, fine, Lavagirl! Jesus!

NC (vo): She says she has to take Sharkboy to Planet Drool and that's the last he's ever seen of them. Not surprisingly, everone doesn't believe his story. Including his teacher, played by George Lopez.

Mr. Electricidad: How many people think Max's story is true? (student raises hand) Have a seat, Max.

NC (vo): (as George Lopez) I have 5 film sitcoms to get to.

NC (vo): But a bunch of Disney Channel villains try to take his Dream Journal; you know that device that every kid in movies has but you never actually met somebody who has one; and Max tries to run away.

Linus: Get the book!

NC (vo): Oh, my God, this kid is so confident in his master evilry he just has to point at his minions' understand? In fact, why does he have minions? He's eight!

Note: The Transcript is not yet completed.

Channel Awesome tagline - Linus: Send him to the principal's office and have him expelled!