Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island
October 30, 2019
(The Channel Awesome logo is displayed, followed by the 2019 Nostalgia-Ween opening, which features footage of Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!)
Nostalgia Stack (vo): 1969: Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! premieres on television. It begins a franchise of...
(A montage of shots of numerous Scooby-Doo spin-offs is superimposed, including Scooby-Doo and Guess Who?...)
Nostalgia Stack (vo): ...spin-offs...
(...Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost...)
Nostalgia Stack (vo): ...specials...
(...the live-action Scooby-Doo movie...)
Nostalgia Stack (vo): ...movies...
(...and various crossovers with celebrities, including Scooby-Doo Meets the Harlem Globetrotters, Scooby-Doo and KISS Rock and Roll Mystery, and Scooby-Doo! WrestleMania Mystery)
Nostalgia Stack (vo): ...and magnificently confusing crossovers.
(Now we cut to footage of one of those specials: Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island)
Nostalgia Stack (vo): On its fiftieth anniversary, there's one special in particular Scooby-Doo fans claim is by far the best one: (Poster for the title is shown...) Scooby-Doo's Zombie Island. Will it have the same impact as when it first premiered? Will it have cameos from zombie (A shot of the Skipper and Gilligan from Gilligan's Island is superimposed briefly) Gilligan and Skipper? And will it finally answer if Velma is the teenage version of (A shot of Marcie of Peanuts fame appears in the corner) Marcie?
(The foggy cityscape is now shown as Nostalgia Stack walks out in front of the camera)
Nostalgia Stack: Don't delay the truth any longer; fanfiction forums are counting on it. I'm Nostalgia Stack, and welcome to Nostalgia-Ween. (nods)
(The words that slide down the purple bars are follows: "Nostalgia Critic", "Zoinks", "Jinkies", "Remember 13 Ghosts?", "Doobie Snacks", "WTF?", "R.I.P. Scrappy", "Lions and Zombies and Ghosts, Oh My!", "Nostalgia Ween". The "reviewed" clips include those from the review of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, as well as shots of Evilina and Pennywise)
NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. It's hard to find a formula that can last over fifty years.
(A montage of clips from Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! is shown)
NC (vo): But Scooby-Doo has found that formula. Though there's certainly been variations over the years, Scooby-Doo has delighted kids with almost the exact same characters and setup: a bunch of 20-something "kids" stumble across a monster that's usually a person in a mask and they need to solve the mystery of who it is. Sometimes, they strayed from the formula, and the result has always been, well, (A clip of Norman Osborn from Spider-Man (2002) saying "Back to formula?" is shown with the accompanying caption) back to formula. I guess it makes sense why it's lasted so long: the characters are pleasant and easy to identify, there are great contrasts to the Gothic situations they're put in, the mysteries help kids form deductive problem-solving skills, and of course, that adorably mangy dog, too. It's become a cultural phenomenon, still making shows, movies, and specials...
(Cut to a montage of shots of Scooby-Doo in satire: in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Family Guy, a Saturday Night Live 2000 sketch "Scooby Doo and Shaggy on Court TV", and the Cartoon Network show, The Scooby-Doo Project)
NC (vo): ...as well as being satirized by everybody, including themselves.
(A clip of The Scooby-Doo Project is shown)
Daphne Blake: At least I try to look feminine! (Velma Dinkley stares)
(The footage of the original Scooby-Doo show resumes)
NC (vo): Say what you will about it, but this is a franchise train that's provided a huge amount of steam. So, for their fiftieth anniversary, I want to look over what many fans will consider their best work.
NC: And most fans agree, that would be Zombie Island.
(The title is shown, followed by footage of the film)
NC (vo): Released on home video in 1998, this is what many Scooby-Doo fans consider their magnum opus, with good animation, a darker tone, and actual monsters this time as opposed to just people in masks, an element that would return in many future spin-offs. While that's all fine and good, does it hold any value for grown-ups? Is there something there to entertain the brain of an adult as well as the heart of a child? Well, let's jump right in, after running midair in a circle, to find out.
NC: Let's close down Nostalgia-Ween with Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island. (nods)
(The movie opens on a castle by the sea during a thunderstorm)
NC: Aw, shit, I put on Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
(The castle is shown again, along with a caption below reading: "Laboratory of Dr. Weird, South Jersey Shore". Then the camera cuts to the inside of the castle as the storm continues with flashes of lightning illuminating the darkness)
NC (vo): As you may have noticed, the production in this one is certainly upped, with the backgrounds really breathing with dark and Gothic life.
NC: I'm almost wondering if I put this in (A fan-made poster for Scooby-Doo in Castlevania appears in the corner) by mistake.
(A green fish-like monster breaks open a wooden door revealing the Mystery Inc. gang cowering at the sight of this monster and then run off, with Shaggy Rogers holding Scooby-Doo in his arms. At one point, Shaggy opens a door opening for a way out, only to again run into the fish monster. He freaks out, his hair standing up on end, and runs again as the monster holds up its claws at him)
NC (vo): Looks like a monster is hunting down the Mystery Inc. gang, and it wouldn't be a Scooby-Doo property without this creepy and foreboding environment given 100% inappropriate music.
(As Shaggy runs again, with Scooby on his back, the classic Scooby-Doo theme plays, performed here by Third Eye Blind)
Third Eye Blind (vo): (singing) Scooby-Dooby-Doo, where are you? We got some work to do now...
(The monster cuts off Shaggy and Scooby's path again and they turn to run the other way, but they have caught on a long rug, which moves under their feet while they run under their feet as it gets in the monster's way. Then we cut to a title card for an episode of The New Scooby-Doo Movies, which shows Shaggy's flashlight revealing the guest stars: Third Eye Blind)
NC (vo; as Shaggy): Today's soon-to-be-dated musical guest is Third Eye Blind!
(Back in the movie, as the fish monster chases after them, Fred Jones, Daphne and Velma don't look where they're going and they crash into a balcony. The two girls start to fall, but Fred grabs them by his arms. Velma and Daphne cling for dear life)
NC (vo; as Fred): Oh, God, which one do I drop?
(As the monster swipes its claws at Fred, he reaches up to swat it away, but in doing so, he accidentally loses his grip on Velma, who starts to fall)
NC (vo): Eh, you know it's Velma.
(As Velma falls, she grabs Daphne by the ankle to break her fall. Suddenly, Scooby falls into the fish monster's arms, distracting the monster. Meanwhile, Shaggy has grabbed a hold of Velma and helps her up, while Fred does the same with Daphne)
NC: Yeah, they cut the part where...
(The scene is shown again, jump-cutting from Velma grabbing Daphne's ankle to Shaggy helping Velma up again)
NC (vo): ...Velma climbed Daphne in order to reach Shaggy's hand.
NC: (looking uncomfortable) You know exactly why! (nods)
(The fish monster having been foiled, Velma unmasks it, revealing yet another ne'er-do-well)
NC (vo): The monster is defeated in a real-to-be...
Shaggy: Like, it's Mr. Beeman, the real estate agent!
NC: I think the real question is... (points to camera)
NC (vo) ...who's wearing the Fred mask? (The camera zooms in on Fred's face, whose eyes are much wider than usual) There's no way those are human eyes!
Mr. Beeman (Ed Gilbert): And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for that big dog and you meddling kids!
NC: (as Scooby) Hee-hee-hee-hee! I got top billing from the villain this time!
(We then cut to Daphne as a guest on a talk show)
NC (vo): It turns out this is a story Daphne is sharing on a talk show as she now become a reporter on Americana.
Talk Show Hostess: Ooh, stories like that always give me (clutches herself in her own arms) the heebie-jeebies! (shudders)
NC: Rosie O'Donnell's show has never been the same since she's transformed into a skinny black woman.
(As Fred, a producer of the show, watches from off to the side and waves to Daphne, we cut to an airport, where the show is broadcast on a screen. Here, Shaggy and Scooby are security guards)
NC (vo): It looks like Fred is her producer, while the rest of the team has split, with Shaggy and Scooby becoming security guards at an airport.
NC: I'm not gonna lie, the idea of Scooby sniffing out drugs is both the funniest and most ironic thing they could do!
(A live-action shot of a man with some bags of drugs is shown, with a cartoon Scooby scowling toward it Photoshopped in)
NC (vo; as man with drugs): You can't arrest me! Shaggy sold me that shit! (as Scooby) Ruff him up, boys! Hee-hee-hee-hee!
(Back to the movie, Scooby points out some luggage to Shaggy, and they rummage through it and come out with a roll of cheese, which they confiscate and take to their office, which is chock full of other foods)
NC (vo): No, they're just happy because they get to keep the contraband food that others have sneak into the country. And nothing else!
(Shaggy and Scooby, of course, eat all the food and are caught by the head of security with inflated bellies from eating it all, which gets them fired)
NC (vo): Especially stuff that would make them want to eat all that contraband food!
(Earlier, Shaggy and Scooby spot the food in the office)
Shaggy: Like, is this the jackpot of jobs or what?!
NC: (as Shaggy) And when I say "jackpot", I mean we're getting jacked from pot!
(Meanwhile, Velma has opened her own bookstore, which has a TV that allows her to watch Daphne on the talk show)
NC (vo): Meanwhile, Velma runs a mystery bookstore, right next to (image of the following appears in the corner briefly...) Ray's Occult Books, as Fred calls and says he's getting the gang back together, surprising Daphne on her birthday.
(Fred drives up to Daphne's home in a van labeled Coast to Coast with Daphne Blake (the name of Daphne's show, apparently). Suddenly, the back doors swing open, revealing Shaggy, Scooby and Velma all wearing party hats and holding streamer horns)
(They all blow on the horns and toss confetti in the air. They then get out of the van and Velma hugs Daphne around her middle)
Daphne: (giggles) Gosh!
NC: Man, Velma spent...
(The scene is replayed, this time zoomed in on Velma hugging Daphne)
NC (vo): ...no time getting her grope on!
Vicki Vale: (audio from Batman) Oh! I love purple...!
NC (vo): So Fred invites them along on a story to find actual haunted areas instead of the surprisingly common criminals in ghost masks.
(Fred removes the Coast to Coast sign, revealing that the van is in fact the Mystery, Inc. van)
Shaggy: Ho ho!
Velma: Perfect! Mystery, Inc. is back in business!
NC: That was a whole... (The words "7 Minutes" pop up below in yellow and NC looks down at it) seven minutes we spent apart. Honestly, it could have been edited out, (The shot of Scooby scowling at the drugs appears in the corner) but it was worth it for this Photoshop.
NC (vo): They tour Louisiana to find real ghosts, but every one is revealed to be fake, as it turns out they're just too good at solving mysteries. They come across a woman named Lena Dupree, who says she knows a real haunted house on Moonscar Island.
Daphne: What do we have to lose?
Fred: (eating a beignet) And that Lena is kind of cute.
Daphne: (suspiciously) Fred!
Fred: I just meant she'd be real photogenic for our segment.
NC: (as Daphne) This is because I had that fling with (image of the following appears in the corner...) Biff from Jabberjaw, isn't it?
(As Lena drives her pickup truck onto a ferry boat, the Mystery, Inc. gang does the same with their van. Then the ferry captain, named Jacques, drives it across the bayou to the island in question)
NC (vo): They follow her to a ferry that will take them to the haunted island with the haunted house through the haunted bayou.
Jacques (Jim Cummings): Pirates used these bayous to hide from the law. They know only a fool will come a-lookin' up in here.
NC: (as Jacques, startled) Oh, sorry, I just have this condition where I shout that word. Anyway...
NC (vo): ...they were lookin' for fool's gold while nourishing a fool's hope, in the middle of watching Fools Rush In. (The poster for that movie is superimposed briefly) It's a new movie at the time; underrated. (normal) Scooby and Shaggy fall over, though, but are saved by a fisherman named Snakebite [Scruggs], who's looking to catch Big Mona, an uncatchable catfish.
(Having saved Shaggy and Scooby, Snakebite, who has a bit of an evil eye, shows off his furry pet pig (that has tusks like a warthog to them) to them)
Snakebite Scruggs (Mark Hamill): This here's my hunting pig.
(The pig, glaring at the two, snorts and paws at the ground in front of them)
Shaggy: (nervously) Hunting pig?
NC: (as Shaggy) That's the weirdest thing I ever heard. Isn't that right, mystery-solving, talking dog?
Scooby: (offscreen) Right, super weird.
NC (vo): He returns them to their boat, and they arrive at the house, which is crawling with cats.
(Scooby, who has been filming them arriving at the island with a video camera, spots the cats)
Scooby: (becoming upset) Cats!
(He jumps out and takes off after them. The Mystery, Inc. van stops abruptly)
Shaggy: Come back, Scoob!
(Seeing the cats dive under the stairs, Scooby chases after them under the stairs and through several potted flowers, smashing them in the process)
NC (vo; as Scooby): You will know my name is the Lord when I lay my Scooby upon thee!
(One of the cats he chases jumps into the arms of the owner of the house, Simone Lenoir. Scooby tries to his stop, but his forward momentum causes him to crash into her, knocking her down. Everyone else grimaces. Simone gets up, quite irate)
NC (vo): They come across the owner, named Simone, who is not amused at Scooby's antics.
Simone (Adrienne Barbeau): You'll have to do something about your...dog.
Shaggy: (petting Scooby, who smiles nervously) Food always keeps Scooby occupied.
Simone: If it will keep him from chasing my cats...
NC: (as Shaggy) Oh, I meant the cats being the food. Is that off the table?
(Inside the house, Shaggy and Scooby try some hot peppers, only to spot a misty wisp appearing which makes Shaggy shiver and, more importantly, scratches the word "GET OUT" into the wall, which Fred, Daphne and Velma also notice)
NC (vo): Scooby and Shaggy notice a chill in the kitchen as the local ghost recommends their favorite Jordan Peele movie.
Simone: (also seeing the inscription on the wall) The haunting might just be starting! (becomes slightly nervous) After sundown, the ghosts get more restless.
NC: (also nervous) It'll be like those ghost-hunting shows. There might be bumps in the distance! BUMPS!
(Suddenly, Velma finds herself floating in midair. Daphne is amazed, as this could be the work of a real ghost)
NC (vo): Velma starts levitating, though, as Daphne is thrilled that the ghost might be real.
Daphne: This just gets better and better!
Velma: (trying to pull her sweater over her skirt) Maybe from where you're standing!
NC: (as Daphne) Please say it's more than a "maybe"!
Velma: Anybody want to try getting me down?
Shaggy: (running up) Sure thing! C'mon, Scoob!
NC: (as Velma) I was talking to Daphne.
(Suddenly, Velma falls back down and they replay the video, which is being filmed by Fred)
NC (vo): They look over the video to see if they can gather clues as to what happened.
(The video is played again)
Daphne: (on video, distorted) Feel the chill in the air! (A gust of cold wind blows in)
(Cut back to Daphne looking over the filmed footage)
Daphne: I think I saw something!
NC: (as Daphne) The ghost edited...
NC (vo): ...the footage to include a closeup!
(They zoom in on the video, revealing that the words on the wall, "GET OUT BEWARE", was in fact carved in by a ghost, a pirate ghost who carved the message into the wall with his cutlass)
Daphne: It looks like...a ghost!
NC: Ha! It wasn't a criminal at all! It was (points to screen) Old Man Ghost! (becomes confused) Something seems backwards.
(Simone takes down a book off the shelf in the library and looks into it, revealing a picture of a pirate with a scar, in the shape of a moon, over his right eye)
NC (vo): So the ghost, it looks like, is the pirate Moonscar, but Fred still thinks it can't be real.
Daphne: Then why did it only show up on the tape?
Fred: There's always a logical explanation for these things.
NC: (as Fred) Like, remember when we proved Fatima was really the Devil? Just look at the facts.
(Velma takes a spatula and uses it to scrape away part of the wall, revealing a sign underneath reading "MAELSTROM")
NC (vo): Velma examines further and discovers the house is partly made from Moonscar's pirate ship.
Simone: Parts of this house is quite old. Pieces of the pirate ship could have been used in the construction.
NC: I hear that. (gestures around him) This studio is 50% Hispaniola, complete with Captain Flint.
(He looks toward a corner of the wall, which has a pirate skeleton standing in the corner)
NC: I really should put a shelf there.
(With that, we got to a commercial break. Upon return, the movie resumes, with Simone explaining the legend of Moonscar to the Mystery, Inc. gang)
NC (vo): So the legend goes, the pirate Moonscar buried treasure on the island, which Fred thinks is further proof it's just a person faking this, looking for riches.
(Shaggy and Scooby, having gone missing from the rest of the gang, run around the area outside the house and fall into a pit)
NC (vo): Meanwhile, Scooby and Shaggy stumble into a pit, where a dead body seems to be coming to life.
(Said dead body, with a ghoulish green glow to boot, appears before them, revealing itself as the zombie form of Moonscar the pirate, moaning pathetically. Shaggy and Scooby cower at the sight of the zombie as it comes toward them)
(Shaggy climbs out of the pit, then pulls Scooby out by his tail, and then they run off as Zombie Moonscar climbs out after them. They bring everyone else back to the pit, but Zombie Moonscar is gone)
NC (vo): They get out and tell everyone about it, but nobody saw, including the suspicious gardener.
(Shaggy points out said gardener, Beau, who leans against a tree with his arms crossed and frowning. Velma looks her shoulder and spots him, too)
Velma: (pointing accusingly at him) What were you doing out here?
Beau (Cam Clarke): My job.
Daphne: He is suspicious, but he is kind of cute.
NC: (as Daphne) I can't wait to leave this movie in a body bag.