(The Channel Awesome logo is displayed, followed by 2018 NC title sequence. Open on the door to the studio, which opens to reveal NC and
Hyper Fangirl walking in) NC: So, how're you liking married life?
HFG: Really good. My ring's starting to decompose, though.
NC: Oh, that happens.
(Suddenly, HFG sees something falling and screams. She shoves NC out of the way of a huge falling object that smashes into the ground where NC was just standing)
NC: OH, MY GOD!! WHAT WAS THAT?!?
HFG: Somebody's trying to kill you, Critic!
Malcolm rises up behind them) Malcolm: Why, hi, guys. I was just thinking of how Nostalgia Critic gave a negative review of , and that made me angry. Fievel Goes West (beat) Just thought I'd mention it.
NC: Okay... Do you guys realize what this means?!
HFG: Jinkies! We have... (turns to camera, softly) a mystery!
(Thunder crashes outside as HFG holds up a magnifying glass in front of her face. What follows is a parody of a Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! intro, but with the title "Nostalgia Critic" and NC, HFG and Malcolm performing the roles of Shaggy, Velma and Fred, sneaking across the screen along with a giant
Appa plushie. Throughout this, Doug sings the "theme song") Nostalgia Critic, where are...ic
We got some work to do now
Danger level: zoinks,
Roger ( Orlando Belisle Jr.) shows up) Roger: Excuse me! (Everyone stops and turns to him) Oh, okay.
HFG: Of course! From the previous Scooby-Doo reviews, where you-
Roger: Nobody cares.
HFG: Oh, okay.
Malcolm: What are you doing? We had a mystery to solve. I could have been the suspect!
Roger: Nobody's falling for it. You couldn't even hurt a fly.
Malcolm: That's not true.
(A sound of a fly buzzing is heard. Malcolm tries swatting the insect with his hands, but doesn't succeed)
NC: Look, what's going on here? I mean, we had a whole Scooby-Doo mystery planned.
HFG: We even had a cute and cuddly sidekick.
(Cut to the Appa plushie)
Appa: (voiced by Doug) Appa-Appa-Appa!
Roger: I know, but that's not what people people want to see anymore. They instead want to see the criminal reveal as early as possible, with little attempt to make it look like it wasn't him.
NC: Yeah? Says who?
Roger: (smiling) Says Scooby Doo: The Mystery Begins! (His smile slowly fades)
(The title for the 2009 TV movie Scooby-Doo: The Mystery Begins is shown, followed by clips)
NC (vo): Often referred to as the third Scooby-Doo movie, this...
Roger: Um, I was talking.
Malcolm: Oh, he usually takes over at this point.
Roger: But I was talking.
NC: You know, you tried to kill me. How do I explain shit to you?
Roger: (bemused) But I was...tal-
NC: (speaks to the camera, leaving Roger dumbfounded) Often referred to as the third Scooby-Doo movie...
NC (vo): ...this prequel aired in 2009 on Cartoon Network... Hey, remember when they used to run cartoons? (As he speaks, the posters for the late 2000s-early 2010s CN live-action shows Destroy Build Destroy , Dude, What Would Happen , Level Up , Tower Prep and Unnatural History are shown) ...showing how our gang of mystery-solving teenagers met. What we got, I guess, is on par with the other lame Scooby-Doo movies, but there's a sore, half-assed nature to a lot of it that makes it feel even more uninventful. Hell, half the characters don't even look like their original selves.
Roger: That is the one thing you guys got down.
Malcolm: (indignantly) What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Roger: I'm telling you, this movie just doesn't try as hard as the others.
HFG: But the other movies were awful, too.
Roger: Exactly. Now, get out while you still can.
NC: Screw you, Roger! These costumes took a long time to make!
HFG: Mine didn't.
NC: Most of our costumes took a long time to make, and we're gonna solve the mystery while doing this review!
Roger: Okay, cool. Uh, by the way, (picks a huge stack of papers and hands it to NC) here's all the evidence that proved I did it. Let me know if you need help figuring out who did it. It was me, by the way. (leaves)
NC: Well, we're not gonna let him or this movie ruin our mystery, right?
HFG: Uh, I don't know. The mystery seems pretty killed.
Malcolm: Yeah, I feel like the Stay Black Marshmallow Man.
HFG: Yeah, let's just go see if made another live-action movie. Flintstones (They leave as well)
NC: What... I... W-Wait! Come back! Zoinks and shit!
(He sighs, drops the papers and goes to sit at his desk, putting back his usual clothes)
NC: So, let's see if this prequel is just as bad as its other films. This is Scooby-Doo: The Mystery Begins.
Roger: (offscreen, teasingly) I warned you!
(The movie starts with a curly-haired teenager named Shaggy Rogers walking into the school bus)
NC (vo): So, like I said before, the film is actually a prequel to the live-action films, rather than a sequel.
NC: (adjusts glasses, in a posh voice) Are we ignoring the Pup Named Scooby-Doo mythos now?
NC (vo): It looks like everything takes place in a town called Coolsville. But we know that's not true. The only population there is...
NC: (points thumbs toward himself, imitating Horarth from The Iron Giant ) Us!
NC (vo): As the credits roll, Shaggy, it looks like, is late to school and has problems fitting in.
(A beefy jock steps on Shaggy's foot, making him fall)
Jock (Devon Thomas): Had a nice trip, Shaggy? (laughs)
Shaggy (Nick Palatas): Hey, yep, sure did.
NC: You should see how they're treating Peter Parker.
(The clip from Spider-Man (2002) is shown, showing Peter running after the bus)
Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire): Hey! Stop the bus!
NC (vo): In fact, isn't that the same stock bully? Do they just make them in a factory?
(A jock raises his hand to high-five another student named Fred Jones, but then lowers it)
Fred (Robbie Amell): Grow up, man.
NC: (as Fred) Get a neckerchief or something.
(Velma Dinkley, as played by Hayley Kiyoko, is shown next)
NC (vo): Oh, yeah. That's supposed to be Fred, and this is supposed to be Velma, both looking very different from their traditional designs.
Roger: You see? Half of them don't even have to look like the characters anymore.
NC: Oh, come on. (takes off hat to scratch his head) A little change isn't such a big deal...
Roger: (surprised) Whoa! When did you shave your head?!
HFG: Oh, he did that a while ago.
Malcolm: Yeah, people are used to it.
Roger: And the different wall color?
HFG: That we'll never forgive.
(She shows her fist threateningly to NC, annoying him)
NC (vo): Things don't seem to get any better when they go to school.
(Shaggy, having fallen into a janitor's trash can with wheels (head inside), screams as the trash can rolls down through the school hallway, much to the janitor's annoyance)
Janitor (C. Ernst Harth): I hate this job. I never wanted to be a janitor. (Scoffs and leaves)
(Silently, NC turns to face HFG, Malcolm and Roger again)
NC: Well, go ahead, Fred and Velma. Write down the suspect. He doesn't like working there. Clearly, he's a suspect. Totally believable. (The three silently cross their arms at NC; they both look at each for a few quick moments) Okay, that was obviously a fake-out! But I don't see how the real culprit is revealed early!
The Nostalgia Critic Transcripts
Transformers · Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue · Cloverfield Trailer Review · Power Rangers: A Look Back · Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Book Launch · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movies · The Top 11 Scariest Nostalgic Moments · Super Mario Bros.: The Movie · Cloverfield Review · Street Fighter · Mortal Kombat · Space Jam · The Nerd Rant · The Nerd Rant Part 2 · Pokémon The First Movie · The Nerd Wizard Rant · The Wizard · The Top 11 Naughtiest Moments in Animaniacs · Batman & Robin · The Top 11 Catchiest Theme Songs · '90s Sports Montage · The Nerd Response…Response · The Top 11 Drug PSAs · The Battle of Epic Proportions · Captain Planet · Double Dare · 3 Ninjas · Top 11 Hottest Animated Women · Video Game Review · The Search for the Nostalgia Chick · He-Man and the Masters of the Universe · Follow That Bird · Saved By the Bell · Tom and Jerry: The Movie · Top 11 Saddest Moments · Nostalgia Chick Winner · Surf Ninjas · NC vs The Nerd Showdown · Top 11 Nostalgic Animated Shows · Kazaam · The Nerd vs. NC: The Final Battle · Off to Beat the Nerd · Drew Struzan Tribute · Halloween '08 Special · Double Dragon · Top 11 Underrated Nostalgic Classics · Howard the Duck · Mortal Kombat: Annihilation · Godzilla · Top 11 Disney Villains · The Super Mario Bros. Super Show · Top 12 Greatest Christmas Specials · Jingle All the Way
Nicktoons · Nickcoms · SNICK · Good Burger · The Making of the Final Battle · Ferngully: The Last Rain Forest · A Kid in King Arthur's Court · The Good Son · The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog · Top 11 Nostalgic Mindfucks · Twister · Garbage Pail Kids · Rock-A-Doodle · Titanic - The Legend Goes On · The Pagemaster · The NeverEnding Story · Moonwalker · Top 11 Dumbest Superman Moments · TMNT · Red Sonja · TGWTG Team Brawl · Short Circuit 1 & 2 · Batman vs. The Dark Knight · Full House · North · Critic and Nerd: TMNT Making of Coming Out of Their Shells · Sidekicks · Gargoyles · Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen · Steel · Top 11 Cereal Mascots · Barb Wire · New vs Old - LOTR Animated vs Lord of the Rings · Last Action Hero · Captain N · We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story · Warriors of Virtue · Captain America · Top 11 F*ckups · Alone in the Dark · Blank Check · Old vs. New: Willy Wonka · Cool as Ice · Suburban Commando · Next Karate Kid · Casper · Superman IV · Congo · Siskel and Ebert Tribute · Judge Dredd · Tank Girl · Jack Frost · He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special · Next Best Christmas Specials · Star Wars Holiday Special · Ernest Saves Christmas
Commando · Junior · Conan and Conan the Destroyer · End of Days · Battlefield Earth · Bebe's Kids · Lost in Space · Top 11 Villain Songs · Quest for Camelot · Old vs. New: Nutty Professor · Bio-Dome · NeverEnding Story II · Top 11 Most Awkward Christopher Walken Moments · Flubber · Home Alone 3 · Old vs. New: King Kong · Drop Dead Fred · The Care Bears Movie · Kickassia: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 · Jaws 3 · Free Willy · A Troll in Central Park · Theodore Rex · Top 11 Coolest Cliches · Hook · Independence Day · The Room · The Phantom · Zeus and Roxanne · Animaniacs Tribute · Flintstones Movie · Mr. Nanny · Rocky IV · Chairman of the Board · Next Top 11 NC Fuckups · Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw · Pebble and the Penguin · Ernest Scared Stupid · Top 11 Scariest Performances · IT · Leprechaun · My Pet Monster · Commercial Special · Old vs. New: 10 Commandments vs. Prince of Egypt · The Thief and the Cobbler · Waterworld · Little Monsters · Rover Dangerfield · You're a Rotten Dirty Bastard · The First Couple: TMNT
NeverEnding Story III · Ferngully 2 · Secret of NIMH 2 · Care Bears 2 · Dungeons and Dragons · Top 11 Dumbest Spider-Man Moments · The Lost World: Jurassic Park · Return of the Nostalgic Commercials · Inspector Gadget · Old vs. New: The Karate Kid · The Langoliers · Airborne · Baby Geniuses · Raiders of the Story Arc: X-Men · The Magic Voyage · Double Team · Top 11 Dumbasses in Distress · Jaws: The Revenge · Gordy · The OTHER Animated Titanic Movie · Revenge of the Nostalgic Commercials · Once Upon a Forest · Little Nemo · Old vs. New: True Grit · Suburban Knights: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 · Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon · Milk Money · Rad · Raiders of the Story Arc: Duck Tales · Care Bears in Wonderland · Cop and a Half · Top 11 Batman TAS Episodes · Alaska · Let's Play Bart's Nightmare · James and the Giant Peach · The Avengers · Simon Sez · The Tommyknockers · The Haunting · Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows · Exorcist 2 · Doug's 1st Movie · The Cell · Raiders of the Story Arc: Superman · Felix the Cat · Moulin Rouge · Babes in Toyland · How the Grinch Stole Christmas · Child's Play
Santa Claus: The Movie · Star Trek: The Motion Picture · Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock · Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier · Star Trek 7: Generations · Star Trek 9: Insurrection · Patch Adams · Ponyo · Dunston Checks In · Thomas and the Magic Railroad · Top 11 Nostalgia Critic F*** Ups Part 3 · Richie Rich · Jungle 2 Jungle · Old vs. New: Manhunter vs. Red Dragon · Star Chaser · Transformers Cartoon · A Simple Wish · Alien Resurrection · Jack · Heavy Metal · Mr. Magoo · Top 11 Simpsons Episodes · Signs · Digimon: The Movie · Top 11 F*** YEAH Movie Themes · Baby Geniuses 2 · Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom · The Wiz · Total Recall (with Sci-Fi Guy) · Scooby-Doo · To Boldly Flee: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8 · NC's Top 11 Favorite Jokes · The WORST Movies Nostalgia Critic's Reviewed
The Review Must Go On · The Odd Life of Timothy Green · Pearl Harbor · Son of the Mask · The King and I · Catwoman · The Cat in the Hat · Top 11 South Park Episodes · Jurassic Park · A.I. Artificial Intelligence · The Master of Disguise · Turbo - A Power Rangers Movie · Top 11 Dumbest Lord of the Rings Moments · Sailor Moon · Les Miserables · Top 11 Adult Jokes We Never Got as Kids · The Last Airbender · Bridge to Terabithia · The Shining Mini-Series · Sharknado · Devil · Dawn of the Commercials · Man of Steel · Top 12 Santa Clauses · Eight Crazy Nights · The Christmas Tree
Face/Off · The Wicker Man · Ghost Rider · Top 11 Strangest Best Couples · Ghost Dad · Disney's Alice in Wonderland · Top 11 Moments You Never Noticed in Ghostbusters · Disney Afternoon · Foodfight · Swan Princess · The Lorax · Old vs. New: Spider-Man · Blues Brothers 2000 · Jurassic Park 3 · After Earth · Bloodrayne · The Purge · Top 11 Trailers · Small Soldiers · The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement · Ghost Rider 2 · Top 11 Worst Avatar Episodes · Top 11 Best Avatars (with Dante Basco) · Maximum Overdrive · Top 11 New Halloween Classics · Monster Squad · Rise of the Commercials · Forest Warrior · Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (NC) · Christmas Story 2 · Care Bears Nutcracker
The Matrix · The Animatrix · The Matrix Reloaded · The Matrix Revolutions · AVGN Movie · Mamma Mia! · The Haunted Mansion · Daredevil · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) · Demolition Man · Top 11 Animaniacs Episodes · Legend of Zorro · The Ewoks Cartoon - Was That Real? · Fantastic Four · Cowboys of Moo Mesa - Was That Real? · Sharkboy and Lavagirl · Small Wonder - Was That Real? · Jupiter Ascending · Jurassic World · Top 11 TV Show Intros · Planet of the Apes · Osmosis Jones · Garfield: The Movie · Pixels · The Smurfs · Hammerman - Was That Real? · Mad Max: Fury Road · Event Horizon · Children of the Corn · Hocus Pocus · Conquest of the Commercials · Dragon's Lair · We Wish You a Turtle Christmas · Christmas with the Kranks · Star Wars: The Force Awakens (NC)
The Happening · Top 11 Funniest Shyamalan Moments · Lady in the Water · Labyrinth · Spawn · Cats & Dogs · The Phantom of the Opera · The Adventures of Pluto Nash · Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain - Was That Real? · Batman v Superman · Blade · Old vs. New: Cinderella · Spy Kids 3D: Game Over · Jem and the Holograms (2015) · The Grinch vs. The Cat in the Hat - Was That Real? · Scooby-Doo 2 · Alvin and the Chipmunks · Ghostbusters (2016) · Teddy Ruxpin Live Action Series - Was That Real? · Wild Wild West · The 3rd Animated Titanic Movie (Tentacolino) · The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle · Stephen King's Dreamcatcher · Freddy vs. Jason · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows · Battle of the Commercials · Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas · Top 12 Christmas Commercials · I'll Be Home For Christmas · Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
Top 11 Best Movie Sequels · Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel · Top 11 Worst Movie Sequels · The Smurfs 2 · Garfield 2: A Tail of Two Kitties · Cool World · Old vs. New: Evil Dead · Top 11 WTF Alternate Endings · Balto · Fant4stic · Clockstoppers · The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas · Suicide Squad Trailer · Suicide Squad · Alien vs. Predator · Transformers: The Last Knight NON-Review · Wonder Woman · Norm of the North · Hulk (2003) · Monkeybone · The Sorcerer's Apprentice · Eragon · Kangaroo Jack · Green Lantern · It (2017) · The Mummy · The Mummy (2017) · Dragonball Evolution · War of the Commercials · Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa · Home Alone 2: Lost in New York · Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider · Top 11 Good Adam Sandler Movies · Yogi Bear · Batman Forever · Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked · Alice Through the Looking Glass · Beauty and the Beast (2017) · Jack and Jill · Starship Troopers · Scooby-Doo: The Mystery Begins · The Spirit · Deadpool 2 · The Angry Birds Movie · Fox Kids · The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen · Mission: Impossible 2 · Doom · Ghostbusters 2 · Freddy Got Fingered · Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer · Sleepwalkers · Van Helsing · Rubber (2010) · Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom · Escape from the Commercials · A Christmas Story Live · The Nutcracker (2010)
Max Payne · Robocop (2014) · The Black Cauldron (NC) · Top 11 Funniest Siskel and Ebert Reviews · The Country Bears · X-Men: The Animated Series · X-Men · X-Men: The Last Stand · Best F(r)iends · Hop · Toonami · Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within · Mary Poppins Returns · Alien 3 · Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief · Kim Possible · Blade II · That Darn Cat · Underworld · Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip · The Wall · Hannibal · It: Chapter Two · Venom · Justice League · Planet of the Commercials · The Grinch (2018) · The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker · Beverly Hills Chihuahua · Con Air · Supergirl · Spider-Man · Spider-Man 3 · The Amazing Spider-Man 2 · Dolittle · Independence Day: Resurgence · Critters · Avatar (2009)
Turkish Rambo · Video Game Review 2: Blues Brothers (SNES) · Reefer Madness · Doomsday Machine · NC - Kickassia · NC - Suburban Knights · NC - To Boldly Flee · NC - Live Review of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 · Paranoia · Cup of Idiocy (Doug's Old Home Movies) · Night of the Living Dead · The Cinema Snob Movie · The Review Must Go On Review
NostalgiaWeen · Christmas · Annual Theme Month