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Santa's Slay

Santa's slay phelous

Aired
December 31, 2009
Running time
16:56
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Phelous: So I've seen a lot of stupid people in these reviews, like a teleporting zombie fisherman, the remote boys, Harry Potter, troll goblins, the surgeon general, a vegetarian zombie, and a ghost that haunts a website. So my question now is...who's next?

(The scene cuts to footage from WWE featuring Bill Goldberg.)

Goldberg: You wanna know who's next, eh?

Phelous: Yeah, That was the question.

Goldberg: YOU'RE NEXT!!!

Phelous: Whaaa...?

(The DVD cover for the film Santa's Slay comes in from the left and knocks Phelous offscreen. The area around the film cover goes black as a deep voice says the title.)

Deep voice: SANTA'S SLAY!

Phelous (vo): This is a lovely Christmas movie and we start with a family of a bunch of unlikable characters starring Fran Drescher and Chris Kattan.

(...)

(The dog suddenly starts barking at sounds coming from the chimney. The Masons all turn toward the sounds as well. Santa finally lands on his feet, then breaks through the chimney wall.)

Kool Aid Guy (audio): Oh yeah!

(Santa brushes the soot off of himself, then throws his hat upon the coat rack.)

Virginia Mason: Santa? *makes weird noise*

Santa: Yes, Virginia. There is a Santa Claus.

Phelous: And we're only two minutes and 30 seconds into this movie.

(...)

Santa: MOVE, BITCH!!!

(...)

(Santa then turns the tables on the mugger, grabbing him and twisting his arm around. He takes the candy cane from his mouth and then stabs the mugger in the forehead. He then slams the mugger against the brick wall.)

Phelous (vo): Candy cane to the forehead! Santa's got the battle won! Santa! Santa! Santa! (A wrestling bell sound effect is added as the Mugger is thrown into the dumpster.)

(...)

Santa: Naughty.

(Santa throws the glowing coal, thus setting the place ablaze.)

Phelous (vo): Wouldn't you be naughty for going there, too? Ah, whatever, Santa's undefeated streak continues, 19 to 0!

(...)

Santa: Aw...Grandpa got run over by a reindeer!

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