(Dressed like James Bond, while the James Bond theme plays in the background, Linkara makes his way through his house, his gun drawn. He sees a guitar case at the end of a hall. He puts on a ring and aims it at the case. Nothing happens, and he ends up putting the ring back in frustration. He takes out a colorful Slinky and plays with it near the case. Again, nothing happens and Linkara withdraws the Slinky. Finally, he walks up to the guitar case and struggles in vain to open it. At last, he gets it open. Inside is a copy of "S.C.I. Spy #1".)
Linkara: Aha! (takes comic) Now we've got!
(The James Bond theme now is replaced by the theme for Charlie's Angels as Linkara disco-dances back through the house with the comic in his hand. It is also revealed that the song is playing on his iPod. At this, Linkara rolls his eyes. Cut then to Linkara sitting in his usual attire on the Futon.)
Linkara: D.C.'s Vertigo imprint was originally started in 1993. The imprint has been home to several books that have been praised for their originality, unique artistic sensibilities, and their mature storytelling that helped make comics less of a children's medium in the minds of the general populace. But then again, not every book can be "Sandman" or "Why the Last Man". Take, for example, today's subject. The solicitation for it reads...
(The solicitation for the comic of discussion is displayed)
Linkara (v/o): (reading) "Sebastian Starchild, like all great secret agents, is a stubborn lone wolf with a penchant for the ladies and a knack for saving the world..."
Linkara: (smiling and shaking head) No, they're not.
Linkara (v/o): (reading, but the text is not displayed, oddly) "He's got a flashy ray gun, a floating cyber-sidekick, and a galaxy-hopping starship. In short, he's a new kind of secret agent, for a new era of comic readers."
Linkara: Or rather, he's the same kind of secret agent in James Bond films, except he's in space, and he's even stupider.
Linkara (v/o): "In the genre-bending first issue, Starchild is off to battle space pirates."*
- NOTE: It actually reads that Starchild is "trail[ing] an intergalactic terrorist."
Linkara: I'm pretty sure they meant "gender-bending". In any case, let's dig into (holds up comic) "S.C.I. Spy #1".
Linkara (v/o): The cover is busy, and annoyingly so. There are patterns on the walls and robots and buttons, and really, the cover tells us nothing about the book, other than, this guy is a lazy jerk who can't be bothered to pour his own champagne. I don't know what it is about this cover. Maybe it's the guy's posture here, with his leg crossed and what appears to be a rather uncomfortable position, or that demon dog, or the bizarre disconnect with the pencils on this guy's face, with those of the spacesuit-clad women outside, but it just looks weird. Speaking of the fishbowl-wearing women, they never appear in the story, so what the heck are they doing on the cover? Heck, we don't even see the fishbowl costumes as spacesuits anywhere, either. (reads title) "S.C.I. Spy – He likes his war cold...and his champagne even colder".
Linkara: (confused) Who likes their war hot? For that matter, who likes their champagne hot?
Linkara (v/o): We open with an expository page. Look, for a longer series, it's nice to have this, but this is a six-issue miniseries. If you can't be bothered to include the backstory in the comic itself, then just don't bother. The gist of it is that the Earth was destroyed "a thousand years ago", and what remains of humanity lives on seventeen planets in the Arcturus star system. By the way, I've checked, and nothing I can find that Arcturus has any more than one planet, if even that much. Anyway, of these seventeen fictional planets, only five of them have been terraformed. The other twelve, now referred to as "the outer worlds", see the lack of terraforming on their planets to be a sign of oppression. By the way, interspersed through this are stupid little computer lines about "seeing other files" or random number arrangements, as if having to read this crap wasn't annoying and tedious enough.
Linkara: When I buy a comic, I want to read the text and look at pictures! If I wanted to read just text, I'd have bought a novel!
Linkara (v/o): Anyway, there's lots of tension, blah, blah, blah, terrorist factions, and some agency called S.C.I. Spy helps prevent further tension. The comic itself opens to an arc of light traveling through space, or rather, fake space that's purple and has lots of CGI planets in it that could not conceivably be so close to one another. Our hero, Sebastian Starchild, orders his computer to link up with "Motherbank".
Starchild's computer: Oh hell, must I?
Starchild: If we're going to nail this terrorist Attila Lazlo, seems to me you need his I.D. field.
Linkara (v/o): So, our stubborn lone wolf secret agent is an idiot who forgot to get the information he needed until he was already at his destination? He contacts the Motherbank, who scolds him for not getting any artificial enhancements. Apparently, the S.C.I. Spy organization is just a company that makes those creepy Inzeit commercials. After some back-and-forth on the issue, they get back to, you know, their jobs!
Starchild: Then drop it, Motherbank, and give me the destination capsule-specs.
Linkara (v/o): Capsule-specs? Capsule-specs?!
Linkara: Crap, is this gonna be the kind of future like in Battlefield Earth, where they just slap two words together and think that makes it futuristic?
Linkara (v/o): Motherbank gives us the lowdown on the Pleasure Wheel, which of course looks nothing like a wheel.
Motherbank: Orbiting neutral Xenon between the inner and outer planets, the Pleasure Wheel offers three thousand casinos, theaters, bordellos, drug dens, sensory-jack chambers, bloodsport arenas, and whatever else the jaded heart craves.
Linkara (v/o): Disneyland of the future! Oh, goody, now we get some technobabble!
Starchild: Attune morphic resonance detector to the life-field frequency of Attila Lazlo.
Linkara: (as Sebastian) And make sure you reverse the polarity of the neutron flow using multi-modal reflection sorting while checking your compo gradients.
Linkara (v/o): Starchild docks his ship and goes off in search of Attila Lazlo.
Female alien: Welcome to the Pleasure Wheel, sir! We invite you to sample all our dark delights, sinning the entire circuit!
Linkara (v/o): (dramatically) Yes, such kinky delights as SPACE LACROSSE! (normal) You know, I don't get that. Why does the future always have such dumb new sports? What was wrong with the sports we already had? Starchild uses his "morphic field detector", whatever the hell that is, and finds Lazlo. Along with Lazlo's comically distorted features is some hideous aberration that's supposed to be a woman. She's pencil-thin, has comically large breasts, lips that I'm sure are designed to swallow a watermelon, and rocky, tumor-filled hands.
Linkara: The future is gross!
Linkara (v/o): Starchild makes an appearance beside Lazlo and bets on the blue team to win the game. He subsequently uses a floating robotic 8-ball to cheat, blinding the red team's goalie just as the blue team makes their shot. With the bet won, Lazlo invites Starchild back to his suite to collect his... (he is distracted by the female abomination's eyes and lips, both of which are GIGANTIC!) his... Oh, God! Those eyes! Those lips! SHE'S LOOKING INTO MY SOUL!
Linkara: (cowering) GET AWAY! GET AWAY!!
Linkara (v/o): The group walks to Lazlo's suite, and our hero introduces himself.
Starchild: Bond. James Bond.
Linkara (v/o): Er, no, wait...
Starchild: Sebastian Starchild.
Linkara: (starts to hum the James Bond theme, but stops midway through) Oh, who cares?
Lazlo: Never heard of you.
Linkara (v/o): Neither has anyone else, and we're thankful for that.
Lazlo: Phaedra, build me a drink.
Linkara (v/o): Build you a drink? Build it?! What, in the future, are drinks made out of Legos?
Phaedra: And one for Mr. Starchild?
Lazlo: Nope--he'd only spill it on the carpet... after he's gutted.
(The James Bond theme briefly plays)
Linkara (v/o): Wait, the future has collagen injections, but no carpet cleaners? (as Starchild) Hmm, I wonder if I should show a reaction here... Nope, not gonna do that. Too much effort. (normal) Anyway, Starchild's robot orb comes to his rescue, blasting a hole through Lazlo's bodyguard. Lazlo reaches for a gun, but in two confusing panels, it's apparently knocked away by Starchild.
Starchild: A bodyguard with no heart guards nothing.
Linkara: Oh, come on! Is that your quip? How about, (as Starchild) "Guess he didn't have the heart"? (normal) Hell, you could even make it about your stupid little orb robot and say, (as Starchild again) "The ball's in my court."
Linkara (v/o): Anyway, he questions Lazlo about why he's going to a world called Primus. Insert Transformers joke here. Lazlo says he's a courier for Shadow Black, but that it doesn't matter, since Starchild forgot about the...
Lazlo: CROC-CLAWED CREAMPUFF!
Linkara (v/o): Oh, and we hear this stupid bit of alliteration right along with a shot of that hideous woman's ass! Thanks, comic, you never know when you might need a (?).
Phaedra: (hoisting Starchild in the air) Gonna bang boredom BIG!
Linkara: (dumbfounded) Wait, what??
Phaedra: Gonna bang boredom BIG!
Linkara: (confused) How does that line make any sense? Yeah, she said earlier she was bored, but look at that phrasing! She's gonna sleep with boredom?! And she's not only gonna do so, she's gonna do it big? You know what, screw it! Just– Just screw it!
Linkara (v/o): The woman suddenly has really muscular arms, and she lifts him up by... um, kinda poking her fingers into him...
(Linkara is seen balancing the comic on his upraised fingers, while holding the comic in his other hand)
Linkara: Seriously, try holding something up like this. (starts to release his grip on the comic) Now try to do it with a 190-pound human being. (lets go; comic falls down)
Linkara (v/o): She tosses Starchild into a fish tank, and the orb once again uses its signature move of shooting holes through people. It declares...
Orb: No heart, no morphic field, no life. Warning: probable robot.
Linkara (v/o): I've seen cardboard box costumes that make better-looking robots than this woman! Anyway, the robot isn't as easily taken down and continues her assault on Starchild.
Orb: Unable to locate the synth-bitch's vital core.
Linkara (v/o): "Synth-bitch"?
Starchild: Then stop looking, orb, before you locate me!
Linkara (v/o): "Locate you"?! What the hell are they talking about?! Is everyone in this comic suffering from aphasia?!
Linkara: You clearly have a grasp of English, so JUST... SPEAK... ENGLISH!!
Linkara (v/o): Starchild grabs a gun and just keeps on shooting at the robot and finally putting her down. The orb scans her and detects something odd about her left eye. I detect something odd about her facial expression, but maybe in the future, this is how all robots will look when they die. Lazlo yells at them not to touch the eye, but nothing doing. Starchild uses... I don't know, some kind of garage door opener to pull the eye out of the robot.
Starchild: What's inside the EYE? Come on, Lazlo, help me SEE.
Linkara: Okay, better than the earlier quip, but how about, uh...
Linkara (v/o): (as Starchild) Eyes are poppin'. (normal) Or better yet... (as Starchild again) I've got my eye on you. (normal again) Hell, it'd be really good if he said... (as Starchild again) Here's looking at you, Lazlo. (normal once again) Two thugs spontaneously appear – seriously, they didn't come in through the door or transport in or anything; they're just suddenly there with no explanation – and start opening fire on the two. Starchild manages to run off, but Lazlo takes a couple of bullets in the head. And you've gotta love his expression here. (as Lazlo, who gives said expression, which is a confused one) Duuuuhhhh... (normal) Starchild calls for his ship, apparently called a Sliver. Those chips must really hurt. It flies through the Pleasure Wheel while the teleporting crooks grab hold of a small shuttle to pursue him. Oh, and you've gotta love this: as the shuttle starts to gain on him, what can the Sliver do? It's a freaking Transformer! Even better, the hole he makes in the outer shell seals back up again after he crashes through in "bullet mode". Sadly, the little shuttle that the goons had isn't so fortunate.
Thug: RESEALED! IT'S A TRAP!
(Cut to a clip of Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi)
Ackbar: It's a trap!
(Back to the comic)
Linkara (v/o): So their ship crashes, and Starchild orders his robot orb to bring them to "Homebase Tesseract".
Starchild: And here's looking at you... soon.
Linkara: Oh, come on! It's too late for the quip now!
Linkara (v/o): Meanwhile, far past the Arcturus system, eleven glowing white cubes emerge from a black hole. I'd make a joke with this, but really, this is actually pretty cool. As a sci-fi concept, it's nice and mysterious and it builds suspense. However, since I know the suspense will be unfulfilled later, here's a lame joke to tide you over: (dramatically) SUGAR CUBES IN SPAAAAAACE! Back with the main plot of the story, our passes under a rock, and somehow, this makes everything glow and turn into a beach. I don't know, the future doesn't make any sense, and I'm not gonna try to figure it out now. You know, that would've been nice to have on the exposition page: tell us what the hell is really going on with this place! Rocks that teleport you to beaches? Robots that look like cartoon caricatures? "Synth-bitch" and "capsule-specs"?! I have never been more confused reading a comic than I am now! Just to add to your constant questions, Starchild walks out onto a beach, and there's a big, fat, bald guy there waiting to hug him.
Bald Guy: BABY! HUG ME, BABY!
Linkara (v/o): (as Fat Bastard) And get in mah belly! (normal) Oh, but wait, it's just a hologram. Starchild scolds the orb for leaving the holograms turned on.
Orb: With you, I get lonely.
Starchild: Get real, orb--and to hell with virtual.
Linkara: (puzzled) So, the computer gets lonely when he's with Starchild, so he created a hologram of a fat guy at a beach who wanted to hug people. (leans in close to camera; speaks softly) Somebody get Norton Antivirus up and running!
Linkara (v/o): Starchild enters what looks like a giant sandcastle, AND IS INSTANTLY ATTACKED BY A HUGE DOG!!
Linkara: (excited) Yes, good dog! Eat his boring, dull face off!
Linkara (v/o): Oh, wait, it's his dog, and it just lands on him and licks his face. Yippee. Anyway, Starchild contacts the Motherbank, who expresses her concern for him.
Motherbank: I almost died when that robot-bitch jumped on your--
Starchild: You are dead, Motherbank, and I'm sending you a present.
Linkara (v/o): So, wait, it's "robot-bitch" now? What happened to "synth-bitch"? Hell, it even says "robot-bitch" again in the next panel! Look, I think both lines are awful, but at least have some consistency in your stupidity. Starchild sends the eye to Motherbank for it to be examined.
Motherbank: You have no idea what it is, Sebastian?
Starchild: I know exactly what it is, Motherbank. Something more than meets the eye.
Linkara: (annoyed) Are they doing this deliberately?
(Linkara raises his finger in the air and the Transformers cartoon theme plays)
Singers: Transformers! More than meets the eye!
Linkara: And by the way, you have used up your chances for lame quipping. You don't get make-up quips! YOU FAIL!!
(The panel showing Sebastian saying the "eye" line is displayed, with the word "FAIL" popping up in red letters to a buzzing sound)
Linkara (v/o): Back with the mystery cubes, they arrive inside the Arcturus system. Defense satellites open fire on them when they don't respond to communications. Like I said, these things are pretty cool when they first appeared, so let's move on. (speaks dramatically) BUTTER IN SPAAAAAACE! (normal) We cut to a S.C.I. Spy tracking station on the planet Primus. They detect one of the cubes heading towards Primus, so they send Agent Isis Nile out to investigate on her Hover Tricycle. We cut to a southeast jungle, where a woman is skinny-dipping. I'm censoring the nudity here, though I wonder who the heck this woman is supposed to be. None of the other establishing shots show anyone else besides the tracking station and jungle, so where did she come from? Anyway, the cube crashes next to her. Within the cube is some naked guy with green eyes.
Linkara: (excited) Hey, it's a male Starfire from "Titans #1"!
Green-eyed guy: Would you like to see what's in my mouth?
Linkara: Oh, I know this magic trick!
Green-eyed guy: (a swarm of bugs spewing from his mouth) It HUNGERS for you.
Linkara: Eh, I liked it better when Penn & Teller did it.
Linkara (v/o): So, the swarms of bugs come out of the guy's mouth and quickly make their way towards the naked woman. Oh, and of course, we get a nice shot of the bugs swarming over her breasts. Thanks for keeping it classy, comic. So the bugs completely devour her flesh, leaving her as a pile of bones that don't collapse until after the bugs climb down again. (dramatically) The SlimFast Plan: the horrible truth! (normal again) With the bugs done with their task, the naked man proclaims...
Green-eyed guy: Mission accomplished.
Linkara (v/o): So, what, the cubes' mission was to go to some deserted planet, find a naked woman, and have bugs eat her? The future is dumb! Anyway, Isis Nile flies over the scene.
Nile: You're not going to believe this... but we've just been invaded by what seems to be...feeder-breeder bugs.
Linkara: "Feeder-breeder bugs". I dare you to say that out loud and not giggle.
Nile: Very hungry bugs. Maybe even...world eaters.
Linkara: These bugs are known as feeders. They are the feeder-breeders. They eat their weight in liters. They even are world eaters. They measure things in meters. But hey, they ain't mosquiters.
Linkara (v/o): Back to our, quote-unquote, "secret agent"... Robin Williams would make a more covert agent than this guy! The analysis is complete, and apparently, the eye was a miniature explosive capable of destroying a planet. The Motherbank orders Starchild to come to its "techno-womb". As opposed to its "organo-womb", I suppose. And so, we end our comic with Starchild approaching its teleport station, but something's already arriving! Look at that sound effect! (said sound effect is a "BAW!" sound repeatedly) It's like they can't seem to get the song "Barbara Ann" started.
Being in station: I am ASSASSIN CHAXX... and YOU, Sebastian Starchild... you are SKIN-PURE MEAT.
Linkara: (holding up a plate and a salt shaker) Right, we're going to take our skin-pure meat and just (sprinkles salt on plate) add a little salt to it, give it some flavor, then add some chanterelles and wood ears, and it really just makes a wonderful dish you can have for friends or family on any occasion. (puts down salt shaker and picks up comic) This comic sucks. It's got some neat science-fiction ideas present, but the fight scenes are dull, the artwork and dialogue are bizarre, and the main protagonist isn't that interesting. And I'm sorry I have to say this, but I do: (leans in close to camera) REAL SECRET AGENTS AREN'T LIKE JAMES BOND! (throws down comic, gets up and leaves)
Hey, what happened to those space pirates the solicitation promised?
|Atop the Fourth Wall Transcripts
||The Top 15 WTF Moments in Comics · US-1 1 · Doom's IV 2 · Superman At Earth's End · Sinnamon 11 · Batman 147
||Spider-Man 56 · Godzilla Vs. Barkley · Titans 1 · Uncanny X-Men 423 · Uncanny X-Men 424 · S.C.I. Spy 1 · Mr. T and the T-Force 1 · Star Trek comic 1 · Newmen 1 · NFL Superpro 1 · Neutro 1 · Amazons Attack Prologue · Amazons Attack 1 and 2 · Amazons Attack 3 and 4 · Amazons Attack 5 and 6 · Sultry Teenage Super-Foxes 1 · Top 15 Worst Heroes Becoming Villains · Daredevil 305 · Daredevil 306 · Blue Beetle Tribute · World of Warcraft 2 and 3 · Captain Planet and the Planeteers 3 · Wolverine: Adamantium Rage · Youngblood 1 · New Guardians 2 · The Marriage of Hercules and Xena · Secret Defenders 9 · Secret Defenders 10 · Superman vs Terminator 1 · Countdown Prologue · Countdown Part 1 · Countdown Part 2 · Top 15 Worst Moments of Countdown · Xena 1 · Cable 1 · Law and Order 1 · Batman: Fortunate Son · Air Raiders 1 · Nightcat 1 · Zero Patrol 1 · Blood Pack 1 · Mickey Mantle 2 · Adventures of the Kool-Aid Man 1 · Silent Hill: Dying Inside 1 and 2 · Silent Hill: Dying Inside 3 and 4 · Silent Hill: Dying Inside 5 · Maximum Clonage · 22 Brides 1 · All-Star Batman and Robin 1 and 2 · Doom 1 · Spider-Man, Storm and Cage · Bimbos in Time · The Dark Knight Strikes Again Part 1 · Extreme Super Christmas Special 1 · James Bond, Jr. 3 · Top 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W
||Pitt 1 · Scarlett comic 1 · Future Five 1 · Ultimates 3 1 and 2 · Ultimates 3 3 and 4 · Ultimates 3 5 · Youngblood 2 · Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers 1 · Strange Adventures 136 · Doom's IV 1/2 · X-Men comic 1 · Darker Image 1 · The Dark Knight Strikes Again Part 2 · Sultry Teenage Super-Foxes 2 · Star Trek/X-Men 1 · Athena 1 · JLA - Act of God Part 1 · JLA - Act of God Part 2 · JLA - Act of God Part 3 · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Meet Archie · Lunatik 1 · Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos 1 · AT4W & Spoony: Experiment Warrior 2-3 · The Dark Knight Strikes Again Part 3 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: Fit to Win · Anita Blake: The Laughing Corpse 1-2 · Freak Force 1 · Chain Gang War 1 · Ewoks 9 · Cable 2 · The California Raisins 3-D 2 · Hardcore Station 1 · The Others 1 and Brute Force 1 · Amazing Spider-Man: Skating on Thin Ice 1 · Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force · Action Comics 592 · Action Comics 593 · Top 15 Comics I'll Never Review · 100th Episode · Nolan Ryan 1 · Transformers comics 4-5 · Silent Hill: Dead/Alive 1 and 2 · Silent Hill: Dead/Alive 3 and 4 · Silent Hill: Dead/Alive 5 · Spider-Man: The Greatest Responsibility · Action Comics 1 · Amazing Fantasy 15 · Detective Comics 27 · The X-Men 1 · Brute Force 2 · New Kids on the Block 4 · Marvel Team Up 127 · Santa Claus Conquers the Martians · Top 15 Screw-Ups of Atop the Fourth Wall
||Justice League: Cry for Justice 1-2 · Justice League: Cry for Justice 3-4 · Power Rangers Zeo 1 · Justice League: Cry for Justice 5-7 · Care Bears 13 · Superman: Distant Fires · Youngblood 3 · Doctor Who Classics 7 · Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four in... Brain Drain! · KISS Comics · Superman and Wonder Woman: Tandy Computer Whiz Kids · Spawn 1 · X-Force 1 · The Backstreet Project 1 · All-Star Batman and Robin 3 and 4 · Lady Gaga 1 · Star Trek: The Motion Picture 1-3 · The Godyssey 1 · Superman Meets the Quik Bunny · Ultimate Warrior's Workout · Ultimatum 1-2 · Ultimatum 3-4 · Ultimatum 5 · SCI-Spy 2 · Miller Time: Batman/Spawn · Gameboy 1 · Eminem and the Punisher 1 · Barbi Twin Adventures 1 · Rise of Arsenal 1-2 · Rise of Arsenal 3-4 · Comic Book Advertisements · Star Trek 2 (Gold Key) · PSA Hell: Captain America: Return of the Asthma Monster! · NBComics 1 · Mightily Murdered Power Ringers 1 · Kamandi at Earth's End 1 · US-1 2 · Twilight Zone 9 · Superman and the TRS-80 Whiz Kids: The Computers that Saved Metropolis! · Street Fighter 1 (Malibu) · Silent Hill: Paint It Black · Silent Hill: Among the Damned · Silent Hill: The Grinning Man · Spider-Man: Planet of the Symbiotes · Pokémon - The Electric Tale of Pikachu · All-Star Comics 8 · The Fantastic Four 1 · All-American Comics 16 · Captain America Comics 1 · Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan 1 · Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan 2 · Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan 3 · Top 15 Personal Favorite Jokes of AT4W
||Marville 1 · Miller Time: Robocop vs. the Terminator 1 · Brute Force 3 · 15 Things That Are Wrong With Identity Crisis · New Guardians 1 · Gameboy 2 · Youngblood 4 · Star Trek III: The Search for Spock · Mr. T 1 (AP Comics) · Mr. T 2 · The Amazing Spider-Man and Captain America in Dr. Doom's Revenge! · The Invincible Four of Kung-Fu & Ninja 1 · Kamandi at Earth's End 2 · Black Web 1 · Transformers: Generation 2 1 · Captain Tax Time 1 · Superman 701 · Bloodstrike 1 · Marville 2 · The Amazing Spider-Man on Bullying Prevention 1 · The New Teen Titans Anti-Drug Giveaway 1 · Daredevil vs Vapora 1 · Batman: A Word to the Wise · Marvel Team-Up 74 · Blake's 7 2 · Battle for Bludhaven 1-2 · Battle for Bludhaven 3-4 · Battle for Bludhaven 5-6 · Sir Charles Barkley and the Referee Murders · Captain Electron 1 · Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home · 200th Episode · Rock 'N Roll 31 · Future Shock 1 · Catwoman: Guardian of Gotham 1 · Catwoman: Guardian of Gotham 2 · Psychoman 1 · Marville 3 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: The Answer to a Riddle · Batman: Jazz 1 · Starstream 1 · The Thing From Another World 1 · The Thing From Another World 2 · Spider-Man: Power and Responsibility · Bart Simpson's Treehouse of Horror 2 · Flash Comics 1 · Tales of Suspense 39 · The Brave and the Bold 54 · The Incredible Hulk 1 · Superman's Christmas Adventure · Archie Giant Series Magazine 452 · Teen Titans 13: A Swingin' Christmas Carol · Batman: Noel · The Next 15 Screw-Ups of Atop the Fourth Wall
||Kamandi at Earth's End 3 · Raver 1 · Transformers 31 · Happy Days 2 · All-Star Batman and Robin 5 · Youngblood 5 · Star Wars 3-D 1 · Marville #4 · Titans Retrospective: Team History · Titans Retrospective: JLA/Titans: The Technis Imperative · Titans Retrospective: Titans 1-25 · Titans Retrospective: Titans 26-50 · Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster · Power Pachyderms 1 · Star Trek V: The Final Frontier · Dragnet 4 · Wild Thing 1 · Spider-Man 2099 1 · Punisher 2099 1 · Doom 2099 1 · Ravage 2099 1 · Comic Book Quickies 1 · Kamandi at Earth's End 4 · SCI-Spy 3 · Star Trek: The Next Generation/X-Men 1 · Mr. T and the T-Force 2 · Miller Time: All-Star Batman and Robin 6 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: A Deadly Choice · Battlestar Galactica: Journey's End 1 · Marville 5 · Miller Time: Tales to Offend 1 · The Culling: Teen Titans Annual 1 · The Culling: Superboy 9 · The Culling: Legion Lost 9 · The Culling: Teen Titans 9 · Plan 9 From Outer Space: 30 Years Later 1 · Brute Force 4 · Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country · SCI-Spy 4 · The Thing From Another World: Climate of Fear 1-2 · The Thing From Another World: Climate of Fear 3-4 · Spider-Man: Crossfire · 2001: A Space Odyssey 1 · Showcase 4 · Tales to Astonish 27 · Showcase 22 · Journey into Mystery 83 · The Punisher: Silent Night 1 · Solson Christmas Special featuring Samurai Santa 1 · Star Trek: The Next Generation 2 · Doctor Who Classic Comics 15 · The Next 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W
||Marville 6-7 · Comic Book Quickies 2 · Miller Time: All-Star Batman and Robin 7 · Preparedness 101: A Zombie Pandemic · Gameboy 3 · US-1 3 · Youngblood 6 · Star Trek: Generations · The A-Team 1 · The Wild 1 · Kamandi at Earth's End 5 · Nova Girls: Kissing Canvas · Avengers 200 · SCI-Spy 5 · Red Hood and the Outlaws 1 · Athena 2 · Bill and Ted's Excellent Comic Book 1 · Zolastraya and the Bard 1 · PSA Hell: Superman: For the Animals 1 · Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos 2 · Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie 1 · Speed Steer 5 · Batman: Jazz 2 · 2001: A Space Odyssey 2 · Comic Book Quickies 3 · 300th Episode · 300th Episode: Part 2 · 300th Episode: Part 3 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 1 · Batman: Shadow of the Bat 56 · Sinnamon 1 · US-1 4 · The Adventures of Jell-O Man and Wobbly 1 · Miller Time: All-Star Batman and Robin 8 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: The Computer That Said No to Drugs · Marvel Super Special 17 · SCI-Spy 6 · Kamandi at Earth's End 6 · Sonic Super Special 7 · Star Trek: First Contact · Cosmic Slam 1 · The Thing from Another World: Eternal Vows 1-2 · The Thing from Another World: Eternal Vows 3-4 · The Thing from Another World: Questionable Research · Spider-Man: The Trial of Peter Parker · Whiz Comics 2 · Tales to Astonish 44 · Detective Comics 38 · The Avengers 1 · The Hobbit 1 · The Hobbit 2 · The Hobbit 3 · Santa the Barbarian 1 · Top 15 Worst Comics I've Reviewed
||Miller Time: All-Star Batman and Robin 9 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 2 · Trouble 1 · Comic Book Quickies 4 · PSA Hell: Energy and Safety with the Justice League · Youngblood 7 · ROMTROSPECTIVE: ROM Spaceknight 1-40 · ROMTROSPECTIVE: ROM Spaceknight 41-75 · The Star Wars 1 · Batman: Jazz 3 · Mr. T and the T-Force 3 · Big Bang Presents 3: Protoplasman! · Crimson 1 · Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines (RPG Game) · Titans: Scissors, Paper, Stone · PSA Hell: Batman: Shadow of the Bat 57 · Comic Book Quickies 5 · Avengers Assemble Featuring Captain Citrus 1 · Doctor Who/Star Trek: The Next Generation: Assimilation Squared · My Cage · The Punisher 60 · The Punisher 61 & 62 · Steam Wars · Ultimate Power 1-2 · Homestuck, Act 1 · Atomic Robo, Vol. 3 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Superman · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Batman · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Wonder Woman · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating The Flash · Zyuranger Episodes 17-22 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: The Computer Trap · Trouble 2 · Pokémon Reburst, Chapter 1 · Green Lantern 23.1 · Team Youngblood 1 · US-1 5 · The Star Wars 2 · Power Man and Iron Fist 79 · Nightmares on Elm Street 1-2 · Nightmares on Elm Street 3-4 · Nightmares on Elm Street 5-6 · Spider-Man: Virtual Mortality · More Fun Comics 73 · Daredevil 1 · Action Comics 252 · Tales of Suspense 52 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 1 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 2 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 3 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 4 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 5 · Deadpool Bi-Annual 1 · Cho Dengeki Stryker · Zombies Christmas Carol 1-3 · Zombies Christmas Carol 4-5 · Another 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W
||NFL SuperPro Special Edition 1 · Popeye: Borned to the Sea 1 · OnStar Batman Auto Show Special Edition 1 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 3 · The Star Wars 3 · Youngblood 8 · All-Star Batman and Robin 10 · Pokémon Adventures Ch. 1-2 · Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger Episodes 1-5 · Blue-Skying, Part 1: Blue Beetle Dan Garrett · Blue-Skying, Part 2: Blue Beetle Ted Kord · Blue-Skying, Part 3: Blue Beetle Jaime Reyes · Blue-Skying, Part 4: Blue Beetle Jaime Reyes New 52 · Star Trek Special: Flesh and Stone · Blackest Night 1-8 · Dart 1 · Batman: Shadow of the Bat 58 · The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky · Ultimate Power 3 · Star Trek: The Next Generation 3 · Comic Book Quickies 6 · 400th Episode · 400th Episode: Part 2 · Superman vs. the Amazing Spider-Man · Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day 1 · Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day 2 · Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day 3 · 15 Things Wrong With Marvel's Civil War · Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 1 · The Minister of Chance · US-1 6 · Star Trek: Voyager 1 · Unsounded, Chapter 1 · Biggles and the Menace from Space · Batman and Robin: The Official Comic Adaptation · Superman and the TRS-80 Computer Whiz Kids: Victory by Computer · Star Trek/Green Lantern: The Spectrum War · My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic 27-28 · Yu-Gi-Oh! GX Ch. 1 · Pryde of the X-Men · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid 1 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid 2 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid 3 · Spider-Man: Cyberwar · The Real Ghostbusters in Ghostbusters II 1-3 · Strange Tales 110 · More Fun Comics 73: Aquaman · Tales of Suspense 57 · All-Star Comics 3 · My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic 2015 Holiday Special · Ghostbusters: Past, Present, and Future · Elvira's House of Mystery Special 1 · Another 15 Screw-Ups of AT4W
||Digimon: Digital Monsters 1 · Phonogram: The Immaterial Girl 1-6 · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 · Trouble 3 · The Star Wars 4 · Spectacular Spider-Man Episode 1x10 - "Persona" · Youngblood 9 · The A-Team 2 · The Batman/Superman Movie: World's Finest · See You Next Mirror: Exiles Retrospective, Part 1 · See You Next Mirror: Exiles Retrospective, Part 2 · Reagan's Raiders 1 · Fist of the North Star, Ch. 1 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 4 · Iron Man: The Animated Series - The Wedding of Iron Man · Athena 3 · Batman: The Dark Knight 1-3 · The New Teen Titans Anti-Drug Giveaway 2 · Crisis on Infinite Earths · Secret Wars (1984) · The Infinity Gauntlet · Flashpoint · Babylon 5 1 · The Star Wars 5 · All-New Ghost Rider, Volume 2 · Robocop vs. the Terminator 2 · Superman vs. the Terminator 2 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: News By Computer Foils Kidnappers · Ultimate Power 4 · Delicious in Dungeon, Vol. 1 · Batman: Odyssey 1 · Asterix: The Legionary · Comic Book Quickies 7 · JoJo's Bizarre Adventures Episodes 1-4 (2012-2013 series) · Thunderbirds Are Go · Batman: The Official Movie Adaptation · Ultimate Iron Man Vol. 1 1-2 · My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic 11-12 · Stormwatch 0 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Beginning 1-2 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Fearbook · New Line Cinema's Tales of Horror 1 · The Sensational Spider-Man 0 · Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash · Marvel Comics 1 · Brave and the Bold 28 · Kamen Rider Fourze Episodes 1-4 · Clive Barker's Hellraiser Dark Holiday Special · Sensation Comics 14: The Story of Fir Balsam · Steam Wars Holiday Special · Christmas with the Superheroes 2
||My Top 15 Favorite Episodes of AT4W · Legion of Superheroes: The Great Darkness Saga · James Bond, Jr. 1 · JLA/Avengers · Homestuck, Act 2 · Isaac Asimov's I-Bots 1 · Thunderstrike 1 · Youngblood 10 · Badrock 1A · Event Comics Month II: Infinite Crisis · Event Comics Month II: Infinity War · Event Comics Month II: World War Hulk · Event Comics Month II: Final Crisis · Power Rangers Turbo vs. Beetleborgs Metallix 1 · Diesel 1 · Teen Titans: "Betrayal" and "Aftershock, Parts 1 and 2" · The Punisher: Purgatory · Comic Book Quickies 8 · 500th Episode · Dark Knight III: The Master Race 1-2 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Green Lantern · The New Guardians 3 · US-1 7 · Nova Girls: Space 34-24-34 · Batman: Odyssey 2 · Star Wars 3-D 2 · Pokémon - The Electric Tale of Pikachu 3 · PSA Hell: Captain America Meets the Asthma Monster · Superman and Spider-Man · Amazing Cow Heroes 4: Cold Cuts · Ravage 2099 2 · Adventures of the Kool-Aid Man 2 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: Safeguarding the Environment · Mr. T and the T-Force 4 · Star Trek 2 (DC) · Star Trek (2009): The Official Motion Picture Adaptation · Star Trek: The Next Generation 4 · Star Trek 1 (Gold Key) · Silent Hill: Hunger · The Thing: The Northern Nightmare · Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash: The Nightmare Warriors · Spider-Man: Smoke and Mirrors · Hellraiser: Hell on Earth · Fantastic Four 52 · Marvel Comics 1 (The Human Torch) · The Incredible Hulk 181 · The New Mutants 98 · Batman Returns: The Official Comic Adaptation · The Punisher: Red X-Mas · Star Wars: The Force Awakens Comic Adaptation · Luke Cage, Hero for Hire 7
||Yet Another 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 5 · Batman/Aliens 1 · Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel · Pokémon 15x19-20 "Cilan Takes Flight" and "An Amazing Aerial Battle" · Tomb Raider Vol. 3: Queen of Serpents · Little Victory: Chimera 1 · Youngblood 0 · Kickers, Inc. 1 · The Savage Dragon 1 · Darkwing Duck 1-4 · The California Raisins 3-D 5 · Hellstar Remina, Ch. 1-3 · Gallery of Horrors · Batman: The Dark Knight 16-17 · Tremors · Ultimate Power 5-6 · Batman Forever: The Official Comic Adaptation · Street Fighter: The Official Comic Adaptation · Catwoman: The Official Comic Adaptation · Dune: The Official Comic Adaptation · Superman IV: The Quest for Peace Movie Special · Justice is Silent: Cassandra Caintrospective, Part 1 · Justice is Silent: Cassandra Caintrospective, Part 2 · Justice is Silent: Cassandra Caintrospective, Part 3 · US-1 8 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: Community Action Program · Captain America Goes to War Against Drugs · Comic Book Swimsuit Issues · Batman 45-47: The Gift · Star Trek: The Next Generation 5 · The A-Team 3 · JoJo's Bizarre Adventures Episodes 5-9 · Trouble 4 · Franken Fran, Ch. 1 and 4 · Youngblood: Judgment Day · Teen Titans 27-28 · Clive Barker's Hellraiser 1 · Clive Barker's Hellraiser Summer Special · Clive Barker's Hellraiser Spring Slaughter · Spider-Man: The Exile Returns · Detective Comics 225 (Martian Manhunter) · Batman: Harley Quinn 1 · DC Comics Presents 26 · The Flash 123 · Evil Dead 2: A Merry Deadmite X-Mas · Transformers (UK) 145 · The All-New Batman: The Brave and the Bold 14 · Star Wars: The Last Jedi Comic Adaptation
||Top 15 Dumbest Evil Plans of AT4W · Batman/Aliens 2 · Star vs. the Forces of Evil: Deep Trouble 1-4 · Megamind · Revolution · Superman vs. Muhammad Ali · Hellstar Remina, Ch. 4-6 · Youngblood: Strikefile 1 · Comic Book Quickies 9 · Black Panther, Vol. 4 1-6 · Batman: Odyssey 3 · Justice League/Mighty Morphin Power Rangers · The Champions, Vol. 3 1-4: Beat the Devil · Star Trek vs. Transformers · Athena 4 · Daredevil: Born Again · Action Comics 775 · Comic Book Quickies 10 · 600th Episode · Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Comic Adaptation · Star Wars: Attack of the Clones Comic Adaptation · Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Comic Adaptation · Star Wars: Rogue One Comic Adaptation · DC Challenge! 1 · Kyoryu Sentai Zyurangers Episodes 40-43 · Trouble 5 · Dan Dare: Voyage to Venus · Superman 358 · Zero Hour: Crisis in Time · House of M · Secret Empire · Heroes in Crisis · Animax 1 · Ninjutsu 1-2 · Green Goblin 1-2, 4, 8, 12-13 · US-1 9 · Emergency! 1 · Mr. T and the T-Force 5 · Pinhead 1-3 · Pinhead 4-6 · Pinhead vs. Marshal Law · Spider-Man: Web of Life · Marvel Super-Heroes 12 (Captain Marvel) · The Flash 110 · The Amazing Spider-Man 129 · Awesome Comics Holiday Special · Transformers (UK) 41 · Solo: A Star Wars Story Comic Adaptation
||Yet Another 15 Screw-Ups of AT4W · Star Trek Book and Record Set: Dinosaur Planet · DC Challenge! 2 · The Mighty Heroes 1 · Justice League 1x01-3: Secret Origins · The Star Wars 6 · The King of Braves GaoGaiGar Ep. 1-4 · Youngblood: Strikefile 2 · Pokémon 15×01-02: "Enter Elesa, Electrifying Gym Leader" & "Dazzling the Nimbasa Gym" · Stanley and his Monster 1-4 · Marvel Than Meets the Eye: The Transformers 1-40 · Marvel Than Meets the Eye: Transformers 41-80 · Marvel Than Meets the Eye: Generation 2 and Regeneration One · Star Trek 9 (Gold Key) · Star Trek/Legion of Superheroes · Mystery Science Theater 3000 1 · Batman: The Dark Knight Returns · Ultimate Power 7-8 · Batman: The Dark Knight 23.4 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Aquaman · Sword Interval: Flashback Arc · PSA Hell: The Amazing Spider-Man: Riot at Robotworld · Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Ultimate Edition) · Transformers/Ghostbusters: Ghosts of Cybertron · The New Guardians 4 · Codename: Ninja 1 · Batman: Hush · Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger Ep. 15-16 · Mr. T and the T-Force 6 · Doom’s IV 1 · Batman and Elmer Fudd & Catwoman and Sylvester and Tweety · Batman: Odyssey 4 · The Dresden Files: Storm Front, Vol. 1 · US-1 10 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 6 · DC Challenge! 3 · Marvel Super Special 1: KISS · The Ring, Vol. 1 · The Ring, Vol. 2 · Spider-Man: Web of Death · Detective Comics 359 · The X-Men 4 · Batman 1 · Spider-Man Holiday Special 1995 · The Adventures of Chrissie Claus 1 · Christmas Quickies 1 · Still Another 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W
||Ultimate Power 9 · The Adventures of Superboy 3x05-06 and 4x07-08 · Batman: The Killing Joke Adaptation · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating the JLA · Chew: Poyo Character Focus · Youngblood: Strikefile 3 · Doctor Who: Logopolis · Armageddon 2001 · Secret Invasion · Civil War II · Dark Nights: Metal · The Star Wars 7 · Sonic the Hedgehog: Tangle and Whisper · Star Trek: The Next Generation/X-Men: Planet X · Stargate SG-1: P.O.W. · Man of Steel
||AT4W 2009 Trailer · Linkara's Take on Watchmen · Watchmen Review · Theme Song Contest · The Spoony Experiment: Warrior #1 · Theme Song Contest Winner! · Blackest Night · Silent Hill: Dying Inside Trailer · Silent Hill Alternate Endings · AT4W & Spoony: Experiment Warrior 2-3 · October 2010 Trailer · Silent Hill: Dead/Alive Review Alternate Endings · The Live Show! · AT4W Story Recap · October 2011 Trailer · Return of AT4W Live! · Revenge of the AT4W Live! · Southland Tales · Curse of AT4W Live · House of AT4W Live! · Ghost of AT4W LIVE! · October 2012 Trailers · Bride of AT4W Live! · Son of AT4W Live! · Night of AT4W Live! · Day of AT4W Live! · Dawn of AT4W Live! · Land of AT4W Live! · Diary and Survival of AT4W Live! · Power of AT4W Live! · Midnight of AT4W Live! · Planet of AT4W LIVE! · Genesis of AT4W LIVE! · 300th Episode Livestream Recordings · Destiny of AT4W LIVE! · Resurrection of AT4W LIVE! · Revelation of AT4W Live! · Remembrance of AT4W LIVE! · The New 52 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 1 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 2 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 3 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 4 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 5