July 11, 2014
Todd plays "Rude" on the piano.
MAGIC! - RUDE
A pop song review
Todd: I'd like to reintroduce you to a term I used in the past.
- Clip of 10cc - "I Don't Like Cricket"
- 10cc: I don't like cricket
- Oh, no
Todd (VO): That, of course, would be [picture of dreadlocked fish wearing a rasta hat] cod reggae, which is what the British call the overpolished, sellout wannabe version of reggae that's associated with stiffness, lameness, and overall whiteness.
Todd: It's a disreputable genre, to be sure.
Todd (VO): Now keep in mind, cod reggae is not necessarily made by white people.
Todd: It's not even necessarily bad.
- Brief clip of "All That She Wants" by...
Todd (VO): I mean, I've heard Ace of Base called cod reggae, and most of y'all seem to like that. The point is, quote-unquote...
Todd: ..."real reggae" comes from...
- Brief clips of a live Bob Marley performance and Big Mountain - "Baby, I Love Your Way"
Todd (VO): ...Caribbean ghettos and is associated with political activism, poverty, and illegal drugs, while cod reggae has its roots in frat houses and is associated with pool parties and Caribbean Cruise Line ads.
Todd: I bring it up because one of the bigger hits right now is a big ol' bowl of cod chowder...
- Video for "Rude"
Todd (VO): ...complete with syncopated rhythms, steel drums, and the douchiest looking this side of Robin Thicke. The song is called "Rude", the debut single from a band from Toronto called Magic.
Todd: No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, hold on, I got the name wrong. It's actually [band logo] all-caps MAGIC, exclamation point. You know, [in giant letters with stars going by...] MAGIC! I guess that would be the polar opposite of [promo pic of...] lower-case fun, period. Now, these guys are new, and this is the first song off their debut album, [album cover] Don't Kill the Magic, ha-ha.
- Clip of live performance on Sunrise
Todd (VO): Kinda makes me wonder how bad a band has to be that they already have to beg not for death. But though they're new, the lead singer Nasri Atweh has been a behind-the-scenes producer-songwriter for a couple years now, just like Kesha, Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars.
Todd: It's like pop singers have to have a pop internship nowadays. Well, let's see, have you worked on anything I've heard of?
- Clips of Pitbull ft. Christina Aguilera - "Feel This Moment"...
- Pitbull: Mr. Worldwide
Todd: Oh, wonderful.
- '...Chris Brown - "Next 2 You"...
- Chris: You would make my life complete
Todd (VO): Yeah, that's not a good sign.
- ... and Justin Bieber - "Mistletoe"
- Justin: I'm-a be under the mistletoe with you
Todd (VO): Okay, now I'm worried.
Todd: Okay, you see, this new song, it's...it's a full-on reggae hit, not...
Todd (VO): ...one of reggae's more modern offsprings. Not reggaeton, not dance hall, just honest-to-God, original recipe reggae.
Todd: And white people making reggae can be a disaster.
- Clip of "Red, Red Wine" by...
Todd (VO): Like, I don't know if I've ever mentioned , but I absolutely loathe UB40, the Michael Bolton of Caribbean music. If there's any band that's matched the sheer volume of bad hits in the '80s as Chicago, it's UB40. Screw them.
Todd: Additionally, white reggae often ends up sounding just [another clip of "Mistletoe"] like this, minus the sleigh bells. And to make things worse, MAGIC! are, like I said, Canadian, and Canadian reggae does not have a very proud legacy.
- Clip of Snow - "Informer"
- Snow: Informer
- You know say Daddy Snow me, I'm gonna blame
- A licky boom-boom down
Todd: Yeesh. Well, anyway, this is MAGIC! Let's see, do they sound any more legit than that?
Transcript in progress