(The Disneycember logo is shown, before showing clips from Robots)
Doug (vo): Robots is a very frustrating film. Not because it's even that bad. When I saw the trailer, I remember thinking to myself, "Oh, this just looks like another generic, forgettable kids film". But for the first 10, 15 minutes or so, it actually tricked me into thinking it was gonna be really great. It opens with a robot in this very inventive-looking robot land shouting, "I'm gonna be a father!" And then he goes home to his wife and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry, you missed the delivery, but making the baby is the most fun", and she holds up a kit. That...got me laughing really hard. And the jokes that followed were just as funny and inventive. The son is given hand-me-downs, literally, they're hand-me-down parts. That's how they grow, they just change parts. The father has a job as a dishwasher. Literally, he's the dishwasher at a restaurant, and sometimes, he brings his work home with him. He's still washing dishes while watching TV. When he goes to the train station, he hears that static-y voice over the intercom, and he asks for directions. It turns out that's just the robot's voice. This is really funny, I didn't think there were that many jokes you could do with robots. I mean, yeah, okay, I watch Futurama, there can be some good ones, but, man, this is like Addams Family writing, just with machines, and it's actually pretty inventive. When the main character goes to the big city, the big city is also super creative. I love the way this place looks. I guess when this movie came out, they showed it on IMAX, and, goddamn, I'm kind of kicking myself for not seeing it on there, because I think this would have looked very, very impressive. I love the way they travel, I love all the little mechanisms and gears that all connect together. It's fun, it's silly, it's visually impressive, and it does take advantage of its concept. But then, we're introduced to the plot, and...yeah, it turns into that generic kids movie I thought it was gonna be. There is a good laugh here and there and sometimes an inventive moment, but sadly, it gets pretty dull pretty fast.
Story[]
Doug (vo): We center around Rodney, played by Ewan McGregor, who...tell me if you've heard this one...is a bit of a goof-up inventor. Yeah, all his inventions don't always work, but gosh darn it, he just has the best heart and wants to make it big. So he goes to the big city where he runs across another robot named Fender, played by Robin Williams, who tries to help him on his journey, but, oh, no, the place where he wanted to be an inventor at? It's taken over by an evil businessman, played by Greg Kinnear. One of the higher-ups, played by Halle Berry, doesn't like the way things are being done anymore because it doesn't keep in the tradition of what the original boss wanted, played by Mel Brooks. They'll spawn a romance together, despite having no chemistry whatsoever. Seriously, there's a scene where one character confuses them for boyfriend and girlfriend, and they're like, "Oh, we're not boyfriend and girlfriend!" I'm like, "Yeah, you're right, there's been no indication that you are whatsoever." And we're introduced to a bunch of rascal side characters that you'll probably forget about one day after seeing this. I know I did.
Review[]
Doug (vo): I'll give the film credit, it's very obvious whoever made this had, like, five specific scenes in mind and then just had to write a movie around the rest. It kind of reminds me of the movie Toys that way, like, visually, it's amazing, and it has some cool ideas, but they never really got much of a story down. But Toys did have a lot of impressive stuff in it, and, yeah, this kind of does, too.
(Footage focusing on the robots and their world is shown)
Doug (vo): The design of these robots and this entire world is very ambitious. Looking at it kind of reminds me of watching the Transformers change into something else, like, yeah, it's busy, but you kind of know if you watch really close, all the gears would probably connect perfectly and move in the way they're supposed to move. I do love how everything looks like it connects in a way that it would function. I feel like there's a little bit of a gentrification commentary going on here that actually is a little clever. The big bad businessman wants to make it more difficult for poorer neighborhoods to get upgrades, 'cause that's the way they work. They'll rust, the parts will get old, and eventually, they won't be able to work anymore. It isn't lifespan they function by, it's mileage, so they'll run out of miles. But he wants to make it where you can only get new and improved parts that are far more expensive. But Rodney, being an inventor, finds scrap metal all over the place to help out all these robots that can't afford that. Again, that's kind of a clever idea.
(Footage focusing on Rodney and his parents is shown)
Doug (vo): But beyond that, there is so little that's memorable. McGregor is usually a great actor, and, yeah, I'm not gonna act like he gives a bad performance here, but it's very much on the same level as that cat from Cats Don't Dance (Danny) or Flik from Bug's Life or...you know the character. He's just generically nice, he's optimistic and hopeful and gets chewed up by the real world, but gosh darn it, his strong heart wins him open, and if you have friends, you have the real answer, blah, blah, blah, blah. It is so not memorable. The only time I really feel something for him is whenever he's talking to his parents, played by Diane Wiest and Stanley Tucci. Something about the three of them really have chemistry. I feel that family connection. It's one of the few moments I get actual emotion out of the movie.
(Footage focusing on Fender is shown)
Doug (vo): Robin Williams, sadly, kind of gets on my nerves in this. I think they're trying to do a combination of his characters from Aladdin and The Fisher King, but those movies knew how to utilize him a lot better. He knew how to bring a certain amount of energy to those roles that enhanced the performance. Here, I feel like everything comes to a standstill so he can just do his shtick. And sometimes, it is funny. Like, the idea is he keeps falling apart, and when his arms fall off, he says, "Oh, no, they're arm wrestling!" That's a good bit, and there are moments like that. But he'll randomly just scream and yell and shout catchphrases and do silly voices, and, I don't know. In Aladdin and Fisher King, it seemed in character. Here, it just feels like he's being loud because the director tells him to be loud.
(Various footage is shown, primarily focusing on the more comedic aspects of the film)
Doug (vo): Even those hilarious jokes from the beginning that were making me laugh so hard, they really take some major downgrades, like the introduction of Aunt Fanny. She has, you guessed it, a big butt. She's made up of, you guessed it, big butt jokes. (Speaks in a goofy voice) She's really artsy fartsy. We like the artsy, but not so much the fartsy. (Speaks normally) Oh, Christ. Yeah, there's a lot of jokes like that. But here's the thing, when the film is good, it is legitimately really funny and inventive. When it's bad, it's just...mildly annoying. It does still have some inventive visuals from time to time, and some bizarre casting choices like Paul Giamatti as this high-pitched doorman or Jim Broadbent as the mother of the villain. These are pretty out there choices.
Final thought[]
Doug (vo): It's a film I think kids could watch fine. It could entertain them for a bit, and, yeah, I think they're gonna like seeing a bunch of movement and gizmos and things connecting to other things and bouncing around, and I think it'll be fine for them. For adults, which, again, I do think this film is trying to hit, it works sometimes, but not most of the time. Definitely not enough to make me say "I'm glad I saw this", but at the risk of sounding painfully obvious, if you enjoy robots, you're going to enjoy Robots. I think you know what I mean. If you like seeing gears and mechanisms move and you like seeing people construct things and these kind of Mouse Trap worlds where one thing leads to another in a goofy way, I think you'll have a good time watching this. You'll get past the standard story and characters and enjoy the creativity. I like robots fine, but I'm not really that obsessed with them, so it didn't win me over that much. So, yeah, not a super-negative review, but I wouldn't call it a positive one, either. It did have some good moments, but it definitely needs some tune-ups.
(The final scene showing the town celebrating is shown)