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Results May Vary
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Date Aired
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May 12, 2025
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Running Time
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41:20
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Website
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Intro[]
Todd: When I first started getting into music as a kid, music discourse was dominated by shitty white guys. Well, I guess shitty white guys are always dominating the conversation. But I mean, like, as a topic.
Clip of Eminem performing "The Real Slim Shady" at the 2000 MTV Video Music Awards
Todd (VO): All we would talk about was these assholes and the music they liked, which was [clips of Slipknot - "Surfacing"...] a broad spectrum of butt rock and [...and Insane Clown Posse - "Hall of Illusions"] shock rap that we were all convinced was the lowest point of pop culture history. Like, this was the music of the shittiest, date rape-iest jocks and bullies. And yet, [clip of Inside Edition story about goth kids] somehow also bullying victims who might snap and kill everybody. [clips of Puddle of Mudd - "Control"...] These artists were tasteless morons at best [...Marilyn Manson - "The Beautiful People"...] and moral outrages at worst. Pandering to the [...and Drowning Pool - "Bodies"] very worst impulses of the worst guys you knew. And it's funny, it seems like we don't really feel that way anymore.
Todd: Like, you look at all these guys now. [brief clip of news story about Marilyn Manson's abuse allegations] Like, a couple of them are still controversial now for various reasons.
Clips of Insane Clown Posse - "Juggalo Island"...
Todd (VO): But for the most part, these guys are all beloved [...and Eminem performing at the Super Bowl LVI halftime show] elder statesmen of music. Like, even the kids like 'em.
Todd: And for no other band is that more true, bafflingly, than... Ahem. LIMP BIZKIT!!!!
Clip of Limp Bizkit - "Rollin' (Air Raid Vehicle)"; briefly cuts to an interview with Fred Durst
Fred Durst (spoken): Back the fuck up, motherfucker!
Fred: (I move in, now move out) Hands up, now hands down
Todd (VO): Limp Bizkit was maybe the most hated band of my entire lifetime. More than Nickelback, more than Imagine Dragons, more than any of them.
Clip of Limp Bizkit - "Take a Look Around"
Fred: Now I know why you wanna hate me
Clip of another interview with Durst
Fred: We don't work for critics, we don't write music for critics, soundtrack movies for critics.
Back to "Take a Look Around"
Fred: Cause hate is all the world has even seen lately
Clip of Limp Bizkit live performance
Decades after their heyday though, it seems like most of the public has switched out [image of logo for...] their Hatorade...
Todd: ...for Ironic Appreciatorade.
Clip from Y2K
Ash (Lauchlan Watson): My crew, the-the freaks and the rejects, we found each other because of Limp. We were family because of Limp! This hat means something!
Clip of recent Limp Bizkit performance
Todd (VO): And I'm glad for that, I'm much happier to see the world come around on Limp Bizkit than I am for, say, Creed or Nickelback.
Todd: Even though the worst Limp Bizkit song is way worse than the worst Nickelback song.
Clip of "Break Stuff"
Fred: Give me something to break
Todd (VO): As they came up in the late '90s and became the biggest rock band on Earth, they were also despised by critics and haters as the worst band ever. [clip of Limp Bizkit - "My Generation"] Slinging meathead riffs and ugly, directionless anger. And led by the single most obnoxious man ever to hold a mic, Fred Durst; a douchey dipshit who couldn't rap.
Fred: Now I know y'all be lovin' this sh- right here
L-I-M-P Bizkit is right here
But although I wasn't particularly a fan either...
Todd: ...I don't remember ever feeling very hostile towards them.
Clip of "Nookie"
Todd (VO): Largely because of a quote from Fred I read once that I can't find anymore. Something about how he thought success was gonna solve all his problems, and yet he still woke up every day fatter, balder, and more riddled with anxiety than ever.
Todd: I guess that's the thing about Fred Durst.
Clip of "Re-Arranged"
Todd (VO): Unlike KoRn, or Papa Roach, or Linkin Park, who all wore their pain on their sleeves, Limp Bizkit's angst was a lot more... subtextual. Fred always seemed like a guy putting up a front, which made his music very...
Todd: ...unintentionally revealing.
Clip of "My Way"
Todd (VO): Like, he was a fascinating man. There's a reason you know his name and not the guy from P.O.D. People rag on him, but you couldn't ignore him.
Todd: That said, even if you didn't think he was the downfall of humanity or whatever, it was very easy to get tired of him.
Clip from...
Todd (VO): After the disaster of Woodstock '99, most of the blame for which fell on Limp Bizkit — unfairly, in my opinion — [clip of behind the scenes for...] they released their follow-up to their star-making album Significant Other. That follow-up was called Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water.
Todd: An LP that hit the trifecta of being a [cover art for the album] terrible record with a terrible name and terrible cover art. Despite that, the fans ate that shit up.
Fred: Cause we don't, don't give a fuck, yeah
Todd (VO): Where Significant Other was a very relatable scream of frustration and anger, Chocolate Starfish was the sound of a band getting way too high on themselves. This was a band who had conquered everything and knew it.
Todd: That must have shut up the haters forever, right?
Fred: Hey kid, take my advice
You don't wanna step into a big pile of shit
The line rings out
Todd: Yeah, yeah, good advice. Good advice, Fred. So here's what they did next.
Clip of "Eat You Alive"
Fred: You're gonna love this
Oh, I'd eat you aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!
Todd: The fuck?
Fred: Hey, you
Todd (VO): Jesus Christ, stop Fred, what are you doing?
Todd: When the end came for Limp Bizkit, it came quick.
Clip of "Behind Blue Eyes"
Todd (VO): In 2003, Limp Bizkit released their fourth album, and at last, the haters who had been disappointed that they didn't fall down finally had their chance to gloat as they released an album so bad that it basically killed nu-metal on the spot. [clip of commercial for...] That record was called, not very confidently, Results May Vary.
Todd: And I think they intended it to sound... aggressive.
Clip of pre-album interview with Durst
Fred: The people who like Limp Bizkit will like us even more now, and the people who didn't like us will hate us even more.
Todd (VO): You know, like a comedy special called Trigger Warning. Like yeah, that's right you don't like it. You don't get it!
Todd: In actuality, that title sounded pathetically hopeful.
Clip of Limp Bizkit MTV live performance
Todd (VO): Like they knew it sucked, but hopefully other listeners would get different results. Yet another example of Fred giving away more than he means to.
Fred: Each person listening to this thing from beginning to end is gonna have a different reaction, maybe I'll just warn everybody that the results may vary.
Todd: Unfortunately for him, the results did not vary.
Todd (VO): Every single person on Earth, fan and hater alike, tore the album apart. Over the span of just one album, Limp Bizkit had gone from my way to the highway overnight. What went wrong? Well, it's on us to find out, so...
Todd: You know what that means. [puts on the backwards red hat; imitating Fred's low growl] Alright partner, keep on rollin' baby. You know what time it is.
Todd (VO): It's time to look at the album that ended everything for Limp Bizkit. Oh, they broke stuff alright. And now it's time to check out the wreckage.
Fred: I'd eat you aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!
Jesus Christ, this sucks.
Todd: It's time to tear this piece of shit a new starfish. So come and get it! This is Trainwreckords!
Trainwreckords intro, followed by the album cover for Results May Vary
A Pointless Special and Dire Expectations[]
Clip from MTV Album Launch: Limp Bizkit
Host: In May 2002, MTV News began an intensive 16 month journey with Limp Bizkit.
Todd (VO): In 2003, MTV aired a special about the making of Limp Bizkit's Results May Vary as part of their show MTV Album Launch.
Todd: Continuing a trend I've noticed that it's much more common for artists to [promotional images for Metallica: Some Kind of Monster, U2: A Year In Pop, Taylor Swift: Miss Americana, and Katy Perry: Will You Be My Witness?] document the making of their worst album than their best.
Todd (VO): This was a short-lived show, I think, and the couple episodes I found only run about an hour minus commercials. But the Limp Bizkit one, meanwhile, is at least twice that long, maybe more. MTV dedicated a full two-hour block of programming, at least, to a feature-length documentary about fucking Results May Vary by Limp fucking Bizkit. And quite frankly, I almost wish I was reviewing this instead, because everything that happens in this special is fucking mental. Like, I'm not gonna have time to talk about his Spinal Tap-eque visit to Kurt Cobain's house, and then getting Kurt tattooed on his fucking chest!
Todd: But, one thing is very clear to me about this album after viewing this documentary.
Todd (VO): From the very first moment of recording...
Todd: ...every single member of this band knows that this record is going to be dogshit.
Sam Rivers: The fear with this record is nobody's gonna like it, and that we suck, and it's really gonna come true that we really do suck. You sound pathetic.
Fred: F***ing suck! This is gonna suck, suck. This is gonna suck.
Todd: But we're here to review the album, not the TV special. And I think the best place to start is at the ending of the documentary, which will basically be the start for us, the outside observer.
Todd (VO): After nearly two years of trying, they finally have the finishing touch for the album, the lead single.
Sam: If it was my world, that would be the lead single. I told Fred, I told everybody in the room, I was like, "That's the single right there."
And it's also the first full song on the album, so this is just everyone's first taste of the brand new Limp Bizkit record. Yeah, we're all hype.
Todd: Let's do this. Let's get rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'.
Dirty Durst[]
Clip of "Eat You Alive"
Fred: You're gonna— you're gonna love this
Todd: Oh boy!
Fred: Hit it, Mike
Todd (VO): Wait.
Todd: Wait, what the fuck's going on in this video?
Fred: Hey, you, Mrs. I-Don't-Know-What-the-Fuck-Your-Name-Is
I'm drawn to you, something's magnetic here
Todd: Ew.
Todd (VO): Well, this is... off putting.
Fred: I'd eat you aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!
Todd recoils
Todd: Stop.
Fred: I'd eat you aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!
Todd: The hell is this?
Fred: If I could approach you
Or even get close to the scent that you left behind
That'd be fine
Todd (VO): Cool, so this is a song about...
Todd: ...panty sniffing, then? Right? Gross.
Todd (VO): So, this is a song about how Fred Durst wants to have sex with, uh, the girl from Ghost World there. But, like... Not sex in a sexy way, in a "he screams at you and insults you" kinda way.
Fred: I'd eat you alive
Oh, Fred.
Todd: I never knew you cared.
Fred: Hey, you, Mrs. Too-Good-To-Look-My-Way and that's cool
You want nothing at all to do with me
But I want you, ain't nothing wrong with wanting you
Cause I'm a man and I can think what the hell I want
You got that straight?
Todd (VO): Look, one of the things Limp Bizkit got a lot of shit for [clip of "Sour"] is their attitudes towards women, they get called misogynists. You know, I'm not sure if I agree with that. Like, yeah, some of their songs are angry at women, but you know, you're allowed to be angry at women sometimes.
Todd: But here, there-there really is not another word than misogynist.
Clip of "Eat You Alive"
Fred: Cause I'm a man and I can think what the hell I want
You got that straight?
Todd (VO): Like, not sexist, misogynist. Like, not just biased against, but actively hateful to women. It's horny, it's insulting, it's douchey, it's almost explicitly threatening. [clip from Woodstock '99] It's like after they got blamed for all the fucking rapes at Woodstock '99, he was like, "No, no, no, that wasn't us making rapey music." [back to "Eat You Alive"] This is us making rapey music.
Todd: But he's also, like, pre-emptively defensive about wanting to fuck you.
Todd (VO): I can only imagine some girl at an industry party saw him eyeing her from across the room, was creeped out from several yards away and moved out of his eye line. And then he went home and wrote this fucking incel screed in response.
Fred: I'd love to sniff on them panties now
Oh, I'd eat you aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!
You know, I was...
Todd: I was kidding about this being about panty sniffing.
Todd (VO): That was a joke. But ok, uh, there it- there it is specifically. Great, cool, love that. Why did I think Fred was capable of restraint?
Todd: Also, one thing you couldn't say about Limp Bizkit is that they didn't have hooks.
Clip of "Rollin' (Air Raid Vehicle)"
Todd (VO): Like, they were not necessarily good hooks, but they had 'em. There were memorable hooks.
Todd: And here, he's just... screaming?
Clip of "Eat You Alive"
Fred: I'd eat you aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!
Todd (VO): There's no riff, there's no chorus, it's just...
Todd: AHHHHHHHHHHH!
Clip of...
Todd (VO): I guess that's what they did for "Faith" too. But like, the hook there was that they were ruining a pop song for laughs. [back "Eat You Alive"] Here, it's not supposed to be funny, it's just...
Todd: ...Fred going "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" cause he's too horny.
Fred: Your beauty is so vain
Todd (VO): That's not what "vain" mean, dumbass.
Todd: That's not how the word's... [sighs]
Todd (VO): Okay, so obviously as music, this fucking sucks, but...
Todd: Okay, hold on, maybe I'm being too harsh on the misogyny angle, like, maybe it's supposed to be, like, a look at the darkness.
Clip of...
Todd (VO): Like, "Sex Type Thing" by Stone Temple Pilots.
Scott Weiland: You wouldn't want me have to hurt you too
Just a-a pure depiction of the raw ugliness of the male mind.
Todd: He's not good at it.
Clip of "Cleaning Out My Closet" by...
Todd (VO): Like, Eminem made way uglier stuff and it was way better, but...
Todd: [sighs] Let's not necessarily call him a douche bag over it.
Todd (VO): 'Cause he's clearly depicting himself as some kind of villain in the video. Like, some dirty piece of white trash who has... I guess abducted this poor innocent girl in white. [the song's vibe changes] So maybe he's supposed to represent, like, the- the, um... Wait. Wait, wait, now what's happening? I-is she supposed to be into it?
Fred: There's nothing in this world
She seems to be here voluntarily, she's not, like, tied to the chair or anything.
Todd: Like, he fixed up his mood lighting there, and uh...
Todd (VO): Yeah, it fucking worked. She's charmed by this.
Todd: Wow.
Todd (VO): And then Bill Paxton has been trying to hunt him down all video, and he finally gets there, and... [sighs] Okay, what I'm seeing is that Paxton looks down at — I'm assuming that's his daughter. And he can tell by the look on her face that she has been subtextualy deflowered by this greasy douche bag.
Todd: Alright. So uh, yeah, this was supposed to be a successful seduction.
Todd (VO): You treat a woman like shit, you insult her, you scream at her, and then you show her your softer side and she loves you. It-it's Twilight, basically. And then Fred runs away, and the video just... the video just ends.
Todd: [beat] What?
Brief clip of "Break Stuff"
Fred: What!?
Todd: [clears throat]
Todd (VO): What!?
Todd: The fuck was that?
Todd (VO): Okay, to explain how we wound up with... that as the lead single.
Todd: Let's go back to the start of recording, and how everyone knows that this record is going to fucking suck and be a giant turd and tank the band.
It Sucks, and You Know It[]
Clip from MTV Album Launch: Limp Bizkit
Sam: Nobody's gonna like it, and that we suck, and it's really gonna come true that we really do suck.
Fred: What if we can't write songs? What if we write stuff that everyone's gonna hate?
Todd: Heh, what if? What if?
Todd (VO): Okay, that's a funny clip, but that's at the beginning of the process. That's always when things are the hardest and scariest before you know what you're making. So the band being nervous doesn't necessarily mean anything.
Todd: But they have more reasons to be afraid for this record than most. [screenshot of MTV homepage with article "Are rap-rock and nu-metal over?"] By 2002, nu-metal was clearly in trouble.
Clips of KoRn - "Here to Stay" and Crazy Town - "Toxic"
Todd (VO): Albums by KoRn and Papa Roach had clearly flopped; lots of copycats had stolen their style and run it into the ground.
DJ Lethal: Some bands out there, I'm not gonna say who, they just milked it. [in a mocking voice] Myeh, myeh. Hip hop, rock, hip hop, rock, hip hop, rock.
Todd: They were feeling the sands of the hourglass running down on him.
Fred: What if yesterday is all we have?
Todd (VO): And in fact, there was one member who was more down on the band's prospects than anyone.
Todd: And he is not in this documentary.
Clip of Limp Bizkit live performance
Fred: Ladies and gentlemen, Wes Borland.
Todd (VO): Even during the height of their hatedom, I remember critics grudgingly agreeing that Wes Borland was a really good guitar player. [image of quote from Wes: "To tell the truth, if I wasn't in the band, I don't know if I'd buy our album or not"] He is also Limp Bizkit's biggest hater. One wonderful thing I've learned while doing research on this is how much absolute contempt he has for Limp Bizkit, and I guess for Fred specifically. And he always felt pretty conflicted about being there.
Clip of interview with Wes
Wes: You know, I couldn't listen to those songs, I couldn't listen to our records, and um... You know, I couldn't really be proud of what I was doing.
And so finally, at the end of [clip of "My Way"] the Chocolate Hotdog era — Chocolate whatever — Wes decided that he couldn't take being a member of the worst band ever anymore, and he quit for good, saying he just wasn't interested in their sound anymore and he felt like a sellout.
Fred: My way or the highway
Todd (VO): But the thing is...
Todd: ...this wasn't the first time Wes had tried to quit.
Clip from a vintage VH1 special about Limp Bizkit
Todd (VO): He bailed right after they got signed — before they were famous. The band tried it without him, but eventually decided it didn't work and just begged him to come back.
Sam: We were like, you know, all spilling our guts out, saying we really, you know, would like you to be back in the band, we miss you.
So these guys already know that Wes is the secret sauce. But that, you know, that was back when they were nobodies.
Todd: Now they're superstars, and they can attract the top talent.
He's No Van Halen[]
Clip of news story about...
Todd (VO): So they did auditions, they did a stunt where they had open auditions at Guitar Centers across the country, and they auditioned literally thousands of people. [screenshot of headline "New Book Says Eddie Van Halen Once Put a Gun to Fred Durst's Head"] And they even experimented a little with Eddie Van Halen. (it didn't go well) That's a thing that happened.
Todd: But after auditioning all those people, they had the right man for the job.
Clip of Fred playing guitar on stage
Fred: Nevermind
Todd: I'm not kidding.
Todd (VO): Fred Durst said, "Fuck it, I'll be my own guitarist."
Todd: With blackjack and hookers.
Fred visibly struggles to play even a basic riff
Todd (VO): The documentary lets us [clip from MTV Album Launch: Limp Bizkit] watch Fred Durst sucking at guitar for, like, five minutes. Eventually they get an engineer to step in and play the damn thing for him. So I don't know how long that experiment lasted, but it very obviously shouldn't have started in the first place. Which probably explains why the first thirty minutes of this documentary is them accomplishing fucking nothing. Fucking nothing.
Fred: I accomplished this much today [shows notebook with a couple lyrics written down]
But eventually, they do record something that will make it onto the finished record. Now, the early sessions are more hip hop. Which makes sense; they say Wes never liked hip hop, so you know, may as well explore that side of them more. Especially since you can't really do the rock stuff without a goddamn guitar player! Anyway, the rap tracks mostly consist of him ruining every golden age hip hop song you can think of.
Fred: Once again, back is the incredible
Subliminal, the inFredable D
Todd: "InFredable". Bars. Put this man behind bars, I mean.
A Little (Excluded) Help From My Friends[]
Todd (VO): And they even get Snoop Dogg to show up.
Fred: Red light, green light
Snoop Dogg: Red light, green light
Fred: Tell me when you're ready to go
Snoop: Tell me when you're ready to go
This is 2002, so he's-he's still a welcome presence. People haven't figured out yet that he'll do anything for $200 and a sixer of Corona.
Snoop: I used to do all kind of shit when I was wild
They used to call me lil' bow wow, now I'm big bow wow
In this mothafucka bustin' a freestyle
Todd: [snorts] Okay-okay, um, I-I know freestyling is a noble art.
Todd (VO): And it-it's very known that Snoop Dogg freestyles most of his verses, that's not a secret. Still, it is funny to say right into the microphone that he did not prepare one single bit to record something for Limp Bizkit, and they put it out on a compact disk for all to hear.
Todd: But apparently this is the best thing we got from those early sessions, because the doc doesn't show you all the other people they worked with.
Montage of clips from an interview with Jay-Z; Bubba Sparxxx - "Ugly"; Helmet - "Unsung"; and Weezer - "Hash Pipe"
Todd (VO): Jay-Z, Bubba Sparxxx, Page Hamilton from Helmet... Rivers Cuomo!
Todd: What could that possibly have sounded like?
Clip of Weezer - "Undone (The Sweater Song)"
Todd (VO): [honks out the lyrics in Fred's squawking growl] If you wanna destroy my sweater, yo! Come on! [clip from MTV Album Launch: Limp Bizkit] And we do see the Neptunes in the studio; I guess they were involved at one point. [clip of live performance from...] Al Jourgensen from Ministry produced some songs for them. [screenshot of quote about...] He says he made Fred Durst strip naked to record, to loosen him up — I think honestly, just for the laughs.
Todd: None of these people are on the final record.
Todd (VO): One other early track they managed to get in the can is called "Build a Bridge."
Fred: Build a bridge to your mind
Takes me there every time
Lay it all on the line if there's a way
And uh, I'm not saying it's a good song, but at least it's a commercial song. Like, I could imagine hearing this on the radio next to, you know, Incubus and Staind and whoever. According to some sites, Head from KoRn played on this. Uh, I think that's not true, I think Head was just another guest star who didn't make the final cut. And people just assumed they had a real guitar player on this one since it actually sounds finished.
Fred: Even though it's gonna crumble down (Gonna crumble down)
Todd (VO): Anyway, "Build a Bridge" is, like, their-their love ballad, I guess. Like, it could be their "The Reason". You know, whatever, it's fine.
Todd: The thing is, without this documentary, I wouldn't have known what it was about.
I'm a Loser, Baby[]
Fred: I want this to be my album cover.
The camera pans to a picture of Angelina Jolie
Fred: Let's go to Angelina Jolie's house.
Sam (off-screen): She's single now.
Fred: I know, man, she is single.
Todd: I mean, Angelina did seem to have [image of Angelina with Billy Bob Thorton] a thing for balding assholes.
Todd (VO): Like, this song is Fred Durst trying to seduce Angelina Jolie.
Todd: By all accounts, it did not get him very far.
Clip of Last Night with Carson Daly interview with Angelina Jolie
Host: Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit, he's been recently making public statements all over his website that he wants to court you. What do you think of that?
Angelina: [laughs] I've, uh, I've never— I've never met him.
Host: Yeah.
Todd (VO): Just... the idea that Fred Durst was gonna get with a woman who was just about to snag [image of...] Brad fucking Pitt. I mean, it probably would have ended up better if you had, but wow, just so out of your league, man.
Fred: She would never go out with me, man.
One thing I realized listening to this album is that...
Todd: ...Fred Durst is a giant loser.
Clip of "Nookie"
Fred: I came into this world as a reject
Todd (VO): I mean, I should've known that, he said it in the first thing I ever heard from him.
Fred: I did it all for the nookie
What is "I did it all for the nookie" than the original [brief clip of The Lonely Island ft. Akon - "I Just Had Sex"] "Doesn't matter, had sex". [clip from MTV Album Launch: Limp Bizkit] But even post-fame, now that he's a giant rockstar, successful record executive, and — by many accounts — a very charming, glad-handing guy in real life, he just seems to put himself in positions to be lame, especially around women.
Fred: Thora Birch, a kind of inspiration.
Todd (VO): Oh, the girl from the "Eat You Alive" video, makes that video even creepier, great. Like, he's clearly using his fame to get with every famous woman he's ever had a crush on from afar.
Todd: With an energy I can only call...
Clip of "Falling Back" by...
Todd (VO): Drake-y... Drake-ish... Drake-coded. [clip from MTV Album Launch: Limp Bizkit] Like, I'm not saying I wouldn't try to get with all my celebrity crushes either if I got famous. I mean, I know for a fact that I would. But wow, it's embarrassing to watch from the outside, act like you've been here before, man.
The Ex-Factor[]
Todd: There's a whole segment on...
Clip of new story about...
Todd (VO): ...whatever was going on between him and Britney Spears, which... Boy I'd forgotten about that shit, and I was happier when I had.
Host: Are you gonna give a shout out to Fred Durst?
Britney Spears: I don't know him that well.
Like, I am not clear what happened. But Fred either thought more was happening than it was.
Brief clip of Britney Spears - "Oops!... I Did It Again"
Britney: I played with your heart
Todd (VO): Haha. Or if something was happening, Fred made it weird very quickly. Anyway, it goes real bad, [clip of...] Fred goes on Howard Stern to talk about how he totally hit that shit.
Fred: And she's just— She's definitely not the sweet little innocent thing.
At some point during this mess, he puts up a really ugly song called "Just Drop Dead."
Clip from MTV Album Launch: Limp Bizkit
Fred: Who the fuck do you think you are? (Bitch!) Cause for alarm
You act like a whore, so just drop dead
Todd (VO): Fantastic. That one only ends up as a bonus track, but...
Todd: ...he also writes one called "Let Me Down."
Fred: Heartbreak is a headache
Todd: Heartbreak is like a headache, wow.
Fred: Headache, like a tooth ache
Todd (VO): And a tooth ache.
Todd: You don't say, wowie.
Fred: Oh, I guess that you're not good enough to be with me
Todd (VO): Cope, cope-ity cope, cope, cope. Like, just the most obvious, humiliating, sour grapes-ass bullshit.
Todd: And to be clear, he didn't even write this when things started getting really ugly between them.
Todd (VO): He wrote this after Britney invited him to hang once, and he came back disappointed because I guess they didn't smash.
Todd: And then he writes, "Drop dead bitch, and I'm too good for you".
Clip of interview with Britney Spears
Host: Um, Fred Durst.
Britney: Next question.
Todd: I assume he was...
Clip of Limp Bizkit live performance
Todd (VO): ...in the same frame of mind when he wrote this little masterpiece.
Fred: Hold up, you're moving too fast
I'm up for something that lasts
I ain't looking to screw on the first night
Todd: See, our man Fred has learned to not be played like a chump just for the nookie.
Fred: My will is stronger than most
I will not let you get close
Until I think that you deserve me
Todd (VO): It's funny to just hear all these angry mud butt-ass riffs, and then he'd be like, "I'm saving myself for someone special."
Fred: I'd hate to get you in bed
Find out you're empty instead
No need to knock another home run out
Getting mad at the women you fuck for being groupies who aren't special enough to marry, yeah. Again, this is all incredibly Drake-y.
Todd: Gee, I wonder why you just can't seem to find that special someone, Fred.
Clip of...
Todd (VO): And it's pretty fun to compare it with "Eat You Alive" by the way, and I think this confirms there was no irony or perspective to "Eat You Alive" whatsoever. It's just a very dumb man shitting out his ugliest thoughts.
Todd: And this is just crazy, right? Does he have no clue what people like about his band?
Clip of Limp Bizkit live performance
Todd (VO): Limp Bizkit's fans connected with their music because they also felt like no one was listening to them, or that they got played like chumps and it made them wanna break stuff. No one wants to listen to Fred being a horny douche bag who's shitty to women, not even other douche bags who are angry at women! Like, this isn't relatable, no one wants to see themselves as this version of Fred Durst, no one thinks this guy understands your pain.
The Captain Losing Control[]
Todd: Okay, for the record, I told you how Wes was always too good for the band, but Fred was also kinda too good for the band.
Clip from MTV Album Launch: Limp Bizkit
Todd (VO): Even in the earliest profiles, he has plans to do everything. He's gonna be an actor, produce TV shows, direct movies, he's a choreographer, graphic designer, record executive. He would try to do all of these things, and at some of them, he would actually be very successful. But it's also the only reason I could think of that explains why he walked into this next album without a guitarist.
Fred: Do you hold all three of these down?
Todd: Like, that's just not serious.
Todd (VO): I think part of it is that he's just a control freak and he wanted to prove he could do it without Wes. But also, I think he just lost focus because of all the other things he's trying to do.
Todd: Like, I guess he was never a great lyricist, but his lyrics on this record are truly half-assed.
Fred: Hold up, check out the motherfucking TV
The same song, same bands every day, fuck that!
Todd (VO): Of all people complaining about seeing the same bands on TV every day. Fred, I had to plan my schedule around the 40 minutes a day that you weren't on MTV. Like, I am literally watching a 2-hour MTV documentary...
Todd: ...about your worst album.
Todd (VO): Okay, because they have some actual shows coming up, they do finally have to hire a guitarist. That being Mike Smith of the band... [album cover by...] Snot. [clip of Limp Bizkit's WrestleMania XIX performance] They go to WrestleMania to play what will be their first single....
Todd: "Crack Addict."
Fred: I'm gonna fill up my lungs with some butane
Turn the mic into a flame, damn, that shit's hot
(this song will not make it onto the record)
Clip from MTV Album Launch: Limp Bizkit, with the band running through "Masturbation"
Todd (VO): And then they write and record a couple final songs with their actually, finally, for real guitar player, and they're amped.
Sam: So, you know, these songs, they've actually got a little spark to them.
Fred: The music feels like the way I'm feeling right now. I feel more inspired.
Todd: Wow, it's almost like we should have had a permanent guitar player the entire time.
Todd (VO): Anyway, they love the guy, they love the new songs.
Fred: I make my decisions
Based on your reaction
Feel like masturbation
(this song will also not make it onto the record)
Reactions May Vary[]
Todd (VO): The album's finally done, they have their lead single, they have a release date.
Sam: Finally be done with this record.
Todd (VO): They present their final last songs to their label head, Jimmy Iovine. And Iovine is just knocked out by them.
Jimmy: This is really extraordinary, powerful, and hard, and...
He's like, "Wow, this stuff with the new guy's really good, Like, I mean it, like, you want my opinion?"
Todd: "I think you should get back in there and do more stuff with this guy and see what happens."
Jimmy: What everybody loves about Limp Bizkit is that it is a band, you know what I mean? So now it is, that noise sounds incredible.
Todd (VO): Now, I don't know if that's just how industry people talk to the talent or, more likely, this was carefully edited.
Todd: But when Iovine says that the new stuff is really good, what he means is that the old stuff is really bad.
Todd (VO): And Fred very clearly understands that Jimmy is not making a suggestion.
Jordan Schur: We had a meeting with, uh, with Jimmy. And I think what we're gonna do is we're gonna go back in and make another record. So what do you guys think, man?
The camera cuts to each of the members
(end me)
(is it too early to quit the band)
(maybe I can reunite house of pain)
So the record is pushed back again, and they go back into the studio again to make a whole-ass other record. Like, the band tries to be positive about it on camera, but between the lines, they're clearly all miserable, especially Fred.
Cuts to Fred crawled into a fetal position while screaming into a pillow
Todd: As evidence, I present you with one of the songs they write, "Underneath the Gun".
Fred: But I'm underneath the sun
And I'm underneath the gun
Todd (VO): "Underneath the gun."
Todd: You mean "under the gun;" the phrase is "under the gun." Anyway, this is clearly a song about being on deadline.
Fred: I've been working so hard
I've been working so hard
Todd (VO): What you are listening to is the sound of complete and total exhaustion. And that will actually be the last song they finish before they have to go on tour with Metallica. Which, for the record, also goes very badly.
Fan: Limp Bizkit's here without Wes, what the f**k!?
I will say that I think I can tell which songs they did write as a full band. You can just assume it's the really heavy tracks, which... You know, admittedly do tend to be better, if still dumb as hell.
Fred: Stick 'em! Stick 'em! Stick em! Ha ha-ha, stick em!
Stick em'! Stick em'! Yeah! (Head for the barricade!)
Todd (VO): Yeah, you can't play a song called "Head For the Barricade" when you've already been blamed for riots, man. Don't play that one live.
Todd: So yeah, the new guy helps. But even still, he's not Wes.
Clip of Limp Bizkit performing with Wes
Todd (VO): Like, I'd always heard from guitar knowers that Wes was actually really good, like, just a really interesting, creative player. But I don't think I really understood that until listening to the band without him. And I think they have a really underrated rhythm section too, like, a lot of bounce to them. But the band is just so obviously not shit without Wes. [clips of Metallica in the studio...] Like, there are a lot of great bands led by two guys pulling in opposite directions. [...and blink-182 - "I Miss You"] Usually, it's the grounded one and the artsy one and they balance each other out. [clip of Limp Bizkit performance with Mike] Like, I'm sure new guy Mike is fine, but he's not someone who can push back Fred, and he's not nearly as interesting.
Todd: And for the record, Wes probably needed Fred too if you wanna hear what he was doing on his own.
Clip of Big Dumb Face - "Duke Lion"
Wes: He's the son of man and God and lion
He's the one who keeps the good from dyin'
We've seen the rest, he is the best
He's the best and his name is Duke Lion!
Todd (VO): I mean, he did say he was tired of making commercial music, and uh... Pft! This isn't that.
Nothin' Left to Say[]
Todd: But yeah, they do get some of their swagger back.
Fred: Learned how to rap as a little boy
Took a lot of crap as a little boy
Todd (VO): And a song called "Almost Over", which I think is maybe the most successful track on the record.
Fred: Learned how to lose as an older man
Sang a lot of blues as an older man
You know, it's- You know, it's about how he was a pushed around little kid, and now he's a grown man kicking ass.
Fred: Who that is? What it say?
What it look like? What it look like, baby?
Todd (VO): Like, that's what you wanna hear from Limp Bizkit, right?
Todd: Except for the chorus that undercuts it a little. See if you can sense it for yourself.
Fred: My life is one big dream, I'm lost in what it means
Don't wake me up if it's almost over
Todd: The dream's almost over, you say?
Fred: These voices in my mind keep tellin' me it's time
To wake me up 'cause it's almost over
Todd (VO): "Almost over" is basically the theme of the entire record. This is an LP about...
Todd: ...being [clip of text reading...] has-been— Well, not actually has-beens, but like, being on the verge of becoming has-beens. [text changes to...] Will-have-beens. This is the only album written in the future perfect tense.
Fred: The end is near, my summer days
All great things go away
Todd (VO): Once you notice it, the album becomes unbearably depressing, which is not exactly what you listen to Limp Bizkit for.
Fred: I'm losing my mind and I know there's no remedy
Think I'm a failure who's livin' on memories
Fred's just basically dying up there, he's got nothing left in the tank, the band's been wrung dry, every song sounds like a kid scribbling out an essay in the five minutes before the bell rings. It's... it's rough.
Todd: But at least they do [image of file titled "Limp Bizkit album FINAL actual Final version 3 for real"] finish the album. They decide...
Clip from MTV Album Launch: Limp Bizkit
Todd (VO): ...to mix the best tracks of both records together into one record. I assume this is also when they picked the name Results May Vary, which had been up in the air up to that point. Like, at various points in the last two years, it had been called Less Is More, Bipolar, and...
Todd: [sighs] Panty Sniffer.
Todd (VO): They make the decision to release "Eat You Alive" as the first single. Apparently to set the record for [clip of "Eat You Alive"] WORST FUCKING LEAD SINGLE EVER! [clips of Justin Timberlake's...] Worse than "Filthy," [...Gwen Stefani's...] worse than "Wind It Up," [...and Katy Perry's...] worse than "Woman's World."
Todd: The fucking worst.
Clip from MTV Album Launch: Limp Bizkit
Todd (VO): And they finish the video in the two days they have between tour dates. And from what we see, it looks like they run out of time on that one too, which might be why it seems so unfinished. And they already know what the second single is gonna be too.
Todd: So just as we started at the end of the documentary, let's finish at the beginning.
Blind, Deaf, and Dumb[]
Todd (VO): You see, right from the start of recording, Limp Bizkit knew that they were gonna do a cover. And if you're gonna do that, why not cover one of the best and most beloved songs in rock history?
Todd: Ladies and gentlemen...
Fred: We thought we would try "Total Eclipse of the Heart."
Todd (VO): Fortunately, this did not fucking happen. [clip of Bonnie Tyler's...] Their attempts to ruin "Total Eclipse of the Heart" never came to fruition because they were stymied by the song's slow pace. [clip of...] They also considered a cover of "No New Tale to Tell" by Eighties alt-rock band Love and Rockets, which... That-that's an insane pick, that would've actually been interesting. But they gave up on that one too.
Todd: Instead, they thought, "We're Limp Bizkit, we should go with something completely and totally obvious."
Clip of The Who live performance
Roger Daltrey: No one knows what it's like
Todd (VO): Ugh. "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who, off their legendary best album Who's Next. I mean, I love that song, who doesn't? Greatest song of all time.
Todd: Also, kind of a red flag if someone like it too much.
Clip of Limp Bizkit's "Behind Blue Eyes"
Fred: No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Todd (VO): Like, let's call this what it is, it's Fred Durst wallowing in self-pity. Like, "I'm sad, I'm bad, no one gets me."
Todd: And let's also be clear that a cover song as a single is also a humongous red flag.
Todd (VO): Unless it's some amazing fresh take — which this isn't, it's basically note for note — then it should be left as an album track or for the greatest hits collection. Not an advanced single for a studio album. Like, when bands start issuing really obvious covers to the radio, that's when you know that they are running out of ideas.
Todd: [sighs] Okay, okay, but no, hold on, let's be fair here.
Todd (VO): Limp Bizkit covering The Who was immediately dunked on before I think anyone had even heard it. Like, I remember Spin, and Blender, and VH1 all calling it one of the worst songs of the year, worst songs ever.
Todd: But I-I am willing to give it a shot here. I mean, this could be a brilliant decision.
Clip of The Who live performance
Todd (VO): "Behind Blue Eyes" is a great song, but it's a great song by a great band. A great band that was called great by everybody. Pete Townshend wrote it as a villain song for his rock opera that he never finished, but Pete Townshend was not a villain, The Who were never villains.
Todd: What if you gave it to someone who was?
Clip of "Re-Arranged"
Todd (VO): Like, Limp Bizkit made a lot of...
Todd: Good— Good... Yeah, good songs, good songs, I'm gonna say it.
Todd (VO): They wrote a lot of good songs about being vilified.
Clip from MTV Album Launch: Limp Bizkit
Fred: I do think about why everybody hates, uh, me. Probably a hundred times a day.
So yeah, "Behind Blue Eyes" should actually hit even harder when you give it to public enemy #1 Fred Durst.
Clip of Limp Bizkit's "Behind Blue Eyes"
Fred: And no one knows what it's like
To be hated, to be fated
Todd has no words
Fred: But my dreams, they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
Todd: I gave it my best shot, this fucking sucks.
Todd (VO): Like, a lot of people said this cover is too close to the original, no, it's completely different and for the worse.
Todd: Fred Durst just does not have the depth or the gravity to handle Pete Townshend.
Fred: My love is vengeance
Todd: It just sounds so stupid in his voice.
Clip of The Who live performance
Todd (VO): The original "Behind Blue Eyes" is the sound of a vengeful tyrant with Shakespearean gravitas. [clip of Limp Bizkit performing "Behind Blue Eyes"] And in Fred's hands. it's just the sound of a mopey frat boy.
Fred: No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings
Like, I can't get past it, I steel maned this piece of shit best I could, nope.
Todd: Then of course, there's the one part they do add that everyone remembers.
Speak & Spell: Discover, L.I.M.P.
Todd (VO): DJ Lethal gets out his Speak & Spell to spell out the band's name, and it's so dumb. Like, it's a ballad, you dumbass, a ballad of pain. You don't fucking self-promote in the middle of it. [clip of "Creep" by...] It's like if Radiohead were doing "Creep" and then Thom Yorke shouted out "Radiohead, motherfucker! Whoo!"
Todd: But to me, that's not even the problem.
Todd (VO): The problem is that this part substitutes for the part in the original where it starts rocking the fuck out!
Clip of The Who live performance where the original part was
Like, Jesus fucking Christ, you're a goddamn heavy metal band. If you're gonna cover The Who and not rock, what are you doing?
Todd: Maybe you would have remembered you were supposed to tackle that part if you had an actual guitar player!
Clip of Limp Bizkit's "Behind Blue Eyes"
Todd (VO): Oh, right. Uh, anyway, you may have noticed that's Halle Berry in the video. As a-a kind of cross promotion for the movie [clip from...] Gothika, one of many crappy movies she made in the 2000s. I think it turns out she was the villain at the end. Or that [poster for...] might have been Perfect Stranger.
Todd: Spoilers, I guess. You're not gonna watch either of those movies.
Todd (VO): Anyway, would you like to watch Halle Berry and Fred make out for a while?
Fred and Halle kiss awkwardly
Speak & Spell: Discover, L.I.M.P.
Yeah, let's-let's just... Let's just watch, we all love this scene.
Todd: You know, you'd think if he was gonna make out with the hottest woman alive in a video...
Todd (VO): ...it would be in the song about how horny he is. [clip of "Eat You Alive"] And the villain song would have the video where he terrorized a woman. Well, what do I know? [clip of "Behind Blue Eyes" BTS video] Anyway, of all the famous women Fred was sniffing after, he seems to have gotten the farthest with Halle Berry, who seems to genuinely like the guy.
Halle: This guy.
Fred, oversharing on his blog like usual, was apparently hinting that this one was actually going somewhere. Or at least he was, until [screenshot of headline "Halle Berry separates from husband Eric Benet"] Halle announced she was getting a divorce and Fred started backpedaling that they were just friends, actually.
Todd: I guess he didn't wanna make that situation any messier.
Fred: I had a great time together.
Halle: I had a great time.
Fred: It was a great chemistry, you're gonna see us...
Todd (VO): Halle Berry: woman of...
Todd: ...questionable taste. Yeah, let's uh, let's watch...
Todd (VO): ...Fred make out with her some more. Fantastic. I'm really sorry I had to remind you all of this. This makes me wanna break stuff.
Outro[]
Todd: Well, so ends the story of Results May Vary.
Clip of Limp Bizkit live performance
Todd (VO): Because those two videos dropped more or less simultaneously, and then you never heard about this record again. Except watching the various YouTube videos making fun of it. It debuted at an underwhelming number 3, the reviews were even worse than usual, the singles all stiffed, the clowning was worse than usual. After the tour, Limp Bizkit parted ways with new guy Mike pretty unamicably. And Wes, probably needing money, re-joined.
Todd: But they were never really a thing again.
Clip of KoRn live performance
Todd (VO): Now, most other nu-metal bands dealt with the decline of their scene by just sticking it out, and almost all of them are still around, doing their thing.
Todd: Limp Bizkit, though, didn't handle their post-peak years nearly as smoothly.
Clip of Limp Bizkit - "Gold Cobra"
Todd (VO): Their halting reunions were very choppy, their output was sparing, Fred was probably as distracted and Wes as reluctant as ever. And some of the other guys left and returned over the years also. [clip of a recent Limp Bizkit live performance] Eventually though, they rebuild themselves as a really good touring act. And when they did release more stuff, they had more [brief clip of "Dad Vibes"] self-awareness and a better sense of humor about their place in the world. And, you know, I'm happy for them, I always like a good redemption story.
Fred: Some day, you'll see things my way
You know, he was right, we did see things his way eventually. [clip of "Eat You Alive"] But having to do a deep dive on their worst album really dented my image of Fred as this harmless, misunderstood mook. Like, maybe we were all exactly as harsh as he deserved. [clip of Limp Bizkit performing "Eat You Alive"] And even if we were too harsh, that doesn't make Results May Vary anything but a creatively done act with nothing else to say.
Todd: [sighs] I need some Hatorade. [drinks from a "Hatorade" bottle] Any of you tried this stuff? It's really good.
Fred: I'd eat you alive!
Sponsor[]
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Clip of ad for...
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Todd: Thank you and good night. [takes off the hat]
Ending Music: Todd plays "Behind Blue Eyes" on the piano
THE END
"Results May Vary" is owned by Interscope Records
This video is owned by me
THANK YOU TO THE LOYAL PATRONS!!