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''The dogs are cats are singing and dancing.''
 
''The dogs are cats are singing and dancing.''
   
'''Dogs''' (Singing): Let's go to the pound! Let's do to the pound! Let's do to the pound!
+
'''Dogs''' (Singing): Let's go to the pound! Let's go to the pound! Let's go to the pound!
   
 
'''NC''' (Amazed): Wow. The pound looks so awesome! I didn't know the fun that was missing all this time. Come on! Let's go to the pound right now!
 
'''NC''' (Amazed): Wow. The pound looks so awesome! I didn't know the fun that was missing all this time. Come on! Let's go to the pound right now!

Revision as of 21:17, 13 October 2010

Pound Puppies and the legend of Big Paw

Nc pound puppies by marobot

Date Aired
September 21st, 2010
Running Time
19:12
Website


NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to! Remember the Pound Puppies?

Footage from Pound Puppies commercial is shown.

NC (Voiceover): Sure you do. Their marketing gimmick was far too clever to overlook. Buy one of our cute SAD LITTLE puppies or else, they get the gas!

Boy (Commercial): Those lonely pound puppies really need to be rescued!

NC (Voiceover): It was a brilliant idea. And like most toys in 1980's, if it was popular, it warranted a show.

Footage from the Pound Puppies animated series is shown.

NC (Voiceover): So we got the Pound Puppies show, which was just as dry idea as the executives has greenlighted it. I don't know. We got these dogs in the pound, but they get out dogs out of the pound, there's evil woman who runs it, then there's a daughter who runs it, she tries to capture them even though they're somehow already in a pound, something about magic power that allows them to talk to humans...

NC: It was a mess. And just to make it even more confusing, they had a theatrical release that switched things up even more. That was Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw.

Footage of Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw is shown.

NC (Voiceover): Emotionally lagging, and creatively retarded, the Pound Puppies movie was just as big a sellout you would think. And considering how it was based on a show that was a sellout that was based on a toy that was sellout, there's a lot of fucking selling out to be done here.

NC: So why should these characters have been Korean appetizers? Let's take a look!

Movie starts.

NC (Voiceover): So it's a beautiful day in whatever's-ville, the sun is shining the clouds are out... the cars stop in the mid-dissolve, it's absolutely wonderful. And on this day we see three dogs walking to the museum.

Male puppy: Dear uncle Whopper, where are you taking us?

Whopper: All I said it's a little surprise!

Female puppy (Blankly): Did you like surprises, uncle Whopper?

NC: Oh, boy. I think the director's kids wanted a cameo!

A boy on a skateboard jaywalks in front of the dogs while a car runs toward him.

Whopper: Hey! Watch out!

Whopper prevents the boy from being hit by a car. The boy's skateboard smashes into pieces.

Boy: Whoa! That could have been me! Thanks.

Whopper: It will be you if you don't start watching the lights and wait for the walk signal before you cross!

NC (Voiceover): Why, thanks magic-walking-talking dog! Boy, this is the best high ever.

Whopper: It's a good thing that we still have puppy power, or else I couldn't have talked to him.

NC (Voiceover): Yes, apparantly there's this thing called puppy power where dogs and humans can magically talk to one another. Not too late to get a refund, folks!

Male puppy: Where did it come from anyway, uncle Whopper?

Whopper: Wait untill you hear this!

A peaceful forest is shown. A butterlfy sits on a flower.

Whopper (Voiceover): It all started back in the Dark Ages, back in the days of the knights.

NC (Voiceover): Wait a minute, what?

The forest suddenly turns into a busy battlefied of the knights.

Whopper (Voiceover): Things were a lot different back then: good and evil knights—

NC (Voiceover): But, what the—

Whopper (Voiceover): — fought each other for the right to search for—

NC (Voiceover): What the hell?

Whopper (Voiceover): —the mystical sword Excalibur!

NC:No, no. Sorry. I can't even watch Pound Puppies. The little dogs?

Whopper (Voiceover): Unfortunately, the evil Black Knight, won.

NC (Voiceover): When did this become Spamelot: The animated series?

A skinny boy is strolling around the forest. He whistles to summon his puppy.

NC (Voiceover, mocking Brtish accent): Hello, I am Pussy McPantaloon-Britches, and I have no idea why we jump from talking dogs to Quest for Camelot's table scraps, kind of weird!

The Black Knight suddenly appears and starts to chase after the boy and the puppy.

NC (Voiceover): So the Black Knight, who's not wearing any black, chases after the boy and his dog.

The Knight corners the boy to a bush.

Black Knight: Now, for the pleasure, of, FINISHING you!

The Black Knight's eye turns red as we see a close up of his face.

Part of Clear Eye commerical is shown. A boring-looking man who is in a beach removes sand from the surface of his eye-looking beach ball.

Man (Blankly): For dry, red eyes, Clear Eye is aaaaaaawesome.

NC (Voiceover): So the boy just happens to stumble across the Sword in the Stone and...

While the boy (Presumably Arthur) tries to pull the sword out of the stone, his dog tries to pull out a shining bone which is embedded in the very same rock.

Black Kight: The bone of Scone!

NC:Wait, the what?

Black Kight: The bone of Scone!

NC (Voiceover): There's bone in the stone? Why, why would have they put a bone in the stone? What's the point? Was Merlin drunk when he came up with that little tip it?


NC (mimicking Merlin): He who pulls the sword from the stone (hiccup) will be named king...

He laughs drunkenly.

NC: Okay, okay. What if, j-just here me out, what if we put a bone in the stone? I-I don't know why! And everyone'll be like "ahh, why is there a bone in the stone? What's the point of that? Blah blah blah." And I'll be all like, "Hey, that contains Puppy Power."

He laughs drunkenly.

NC (mimicking Merlin): And everyone's gonna be like, "Well, what the hell's Puppy Power?" Well, I'll tell ya in a second.

He takes out a joint and inhales deeply.


Arthur and his dog succeeds in pulling their sword and bone from the Stone. Epic music can be heard. As Arthur waves his sword, a king-looking shadow appears behind him.

NC (Voiceover): By the power of greyhound!

The Black knight trembles with fear and runs away.

NC (Voiceover, mocking the knight): Oh! Hell with this! I'll devote my life to catching spur!

Arthur's puppy: Yeah, sure scared him.

Arthur: You can talk! We can talk! We found out puppy power!

NC (Voiceover): So I guess they just named puppy power on the spot and it seemed to stick.

Black Knight: I shall never rest untill the bone of scone is mine. Should I failm, the sons of the Mcnasty's...

NC (Voiceover): Mcnasty? Really? That's his name? You know you're sort of leaning his future towards evil when you call somebody McNasty. I can't really see a daycare center called MnNasty.

Advertisement of McNasty's daycare center is shown. The advertisement says: "Only S day's since our last mysteriously disappeared child."

Whopper: Some story, huh, kids?

Female puppy (Blankly): One thing I don't understand, uncle Whopper...

NC: God. Just try to act like you give a shit, will ya?

Whopper: Which brings me to another story, about how we almost lost Puppy Power!

NC (Voiceover):Yes because we can't keep tracking where the fuck the movie's going, we cut to yet another flashback. This one takes in the 50's. Okey...

The pound of the Pound Puppies is shown.

NC (Voiceover): So we see our main characters from the original show. Cooler, Bright Eyes, Nose Marie, Howler and Whopper. Yeah. Look nothing like the original designs do they? In fact nothing else is like the original show if you grow up with it. The owners are different, the time periods are different, even the personalities (if little they were) are different! But who cares? They having such a rocking good time!

The dogs are cats are singing and dancing.

Dogs (Singing): Let's go to the pound! Let's go to the pound! Let's go to the pound!

NC (Amazed): Wow. The pound looks so awesome! I didn't know the fun that was missing all this time. Come on! Let's go to the pound right now!

A picture of an ordinary dog pound is shown. Sound of chains and dogs whining can be heard. No singing or dancing can be found. Pictures of sa puppies in the pound is shown. NC is very surprised.