Pokémon Detective Pikachu
September 23, 2020
(The Channel Awesome logo is shown, followed by the NC title sequence.)
NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it-- POKÉMON SUUUUUCKS!
(The review's off-screen audience starts booing.)
NC: (enjoying the booing) Laa-laa-laaaaa!
(Chester A. Bum enters the room laughing.)
Chester: (laughing) Oh, Mr. ma-Critic! I love how angry everybody gets when you make fun of the Pokémon!
NC: I know, right? I don't even know that much about it, but people just get so pissed off whenever I mock it, I have to keep doing it! POKÉMON SUUUUUCKS!
(The review's audience continues booing, and Chester continues laughing.)
NC: (enjoying the booing) Laa-laa-laaaaa!
(NC's laughter grows more and more crazed. Transparent clips of Pokémon-related gags from his reviews of Freddy vs. Jason, The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland, Escape from the Commercials, and Conquest of the Commercials are laid over him. Fade to NC many reviews later, and he does his intro again.)
NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. Knock, knock! Who's there? POKÉMON SUUUUUCKS! Laa-laa-laaaaa! (Silence) I said POKÉMON SUUUUUCKS! Laa-laa-laaaaa! (More silence. Chester A. Bum walks in) Hey, Chester! POKÉMON SUUUUUCKS!
NC: What's the matter?
Chester: I think I'm getting tired of it. (imitating NC) "Pokémon sucks. Laa-laa-laaaaa."
NC: Y-Y-You can do anything! You can do Spanish! POKÉMON APESTAAAAA!
Chester: Critic, buddy, I have to tell you something. That joke is played.
NC: (dismissive laugh) Wait a minute. Are you indicating that I, the Nostalgia Critic--
Chester: You're gonna do the running joke about always doing running jokes, aren't you?
NC: (looks down in shame) Oh, my God, this IS played.
Chester: It's time to move on, Critic.
NC: But...they get so angry.
Chester: It's time to move on.
NC: It really made me laugh!
Chester: It's time to move on.
NC: (feebly) Laa-laa-laaaaa...
Chester: (to viewer) You know what to do.
(A mouse cursor appears on-screen and scrolls to the upper-right corner, closing the NC's review. The video thumbnail for Cinemassacre's review of Detective Pikachu is shown.)
NC: Okay, fine, fine! (sighs) Despite me making a ton of jokes at its expense, I never really saw that much Pokémon.
(As NC speaks, various pictures are shown of Power Rangers, Captain Planet, and a Pokémon convention, and then showing pictures of Strokémon (the Pokémon porn parody), a fake video game cover for Grand Theft Auto: Pokémon, a screenshot of the South Park episode "Chinpokomon", and a little kid holding Pokémon trading cards, before finally showing a picture of the main characters of the Pokémon anime, its logo, and its slogan)
NC (vo): Unlike Power Rangers or Captain Planet, which I did watch enough to get an idea about, Pokémon, I made fun of because it was just everywhere. It was easy to spoof how strange it was, how overexposed it was, and, of course, what an obvious marketing ploy it was. "Gotta catch 'em all"? Jesus. And I thought MY generation was all about commercial tie-ins. (Pictures are shown of Transformers, He-Man, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) But what am I supposed to do? I don't have time to watch the entire series, and even the first movie, it was hard for me to gather how this world worked.
NC: Well, as an olive branch, I'm gonna review the one movie you apparently don't need to know that much about Pokémon in order to follow, Detective Pikachu.
(The film's logo is shown, followed by its clips)
NC (vo): Released in 2019, I'll be honest, I thought this was a joke when I first saw the trailer. I had no idea this was based on a game of the same title. (A picture is shown of the Detective Pikachu Nintendo 3DS game cover) I was waiting for Pikachu to explode in a puddle of blood, revealing a burnt Ryan Reynolds saying this was all just an ad for Deadpool 3. But nope. This was a real thing, and it got OK reviews from audiences and critics. As someone who's mocked this franchise but never really followed it, I figure this is the perfect one to look over and, I suppose, bury the Pokémon hatchet. So, because my relationship with Pokémon fans is worth more than some stupid running gag...
NC: (turns to Chester) So we definitely don't want to do the joke anymore?
Chester: (shakes his head) I don't think so.
NC: ...I'm going to be fair and give Pokémon a chance. This is my take on Detective Pikachu.
NC (vo): The film opens in a lab where a Pokémon - or "Pocket Monster", for you newbies - here's a list of those losers (pictures are shown of NC and Hillary Clinton) - is being experimented on. He's the most powerful Pokémon named Mewtwo.
NC: And I gotta give credit to any series that names their most powerful entity "Mewtwo".
NC (vo): It's kind of like calling Darth Vader (picture is shown of Darth Vader) "Shnickerdoodle Shucks". It just makes me smile.
(Mewtwo starts destroying the laboratory.)
NC (vo): He suddenly escapes and hunts down a car driving off.
(Mewtwo blasts the highway, causing the car to go flying off the side.)
NC: Ooh! I hope "Crashing Car" becomes one of his moves on Smash Bros.!
(Clip is played of Mewtwo in Super Smash Bros., with the crashing car edited in.)
NC (vo): Cut to our main character named Tim, who's a young man trying to catch a Pokémon. He's played by Justice Smith.
NC: Hmmm. Must find a clip from a past performance to sum up my reaction.
(Clip is played of Franklin Webb (Justice Smith) in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom screaming very goofily.)
NC: That'll do.
NC (vo): Okay, despite him being annoying as balls in Fallen Kingdom, he's honestly totally fine here, as his best friend Jack is trying to find him the perfect Pokémon to bond with.
Jack (Karan Soni): (points at Cubone) That is the perfect Pokémon for you.
Tim Goodman (Justice Smith): Jack, I'm not looking for a Pokémon. I've told you this.
NC: (as Tim) I have my career to think about, and you know the sex is always awkward.
NC (vo): He convinces Tim to try and catch it with a Pokéball, leading to a pretty funny line.
Jack: Catching a Pokémon is not about skill. So you can do this.
NC: I'm realizing I hate you.
NC (vo): And he tries to get close to it.
Tim: Not everyone can pull off wearing the skull of their dead relative.
NC: Okay, this is a world I want to know more about.
NC (vo): The Pokémon has to choose its owner as well, and this one clearly didn't like Paper Towns.
Jack: That was one angry Cubone. He reminded me a lot of my mom.
NC: (as Jack) She wore the skull of my grandma on her head. It was a whole thing.
NC (vo): Give props to a film ballsy enough to say staying at a secure insurance job makes you a loser, but taking off playing Pokémon with your friends is the ultimate sign of success. ...What am I saying? It kind of is. (pictures are shown of people winning the Pokémon World Championships)
Jack: Everyone we know has left town, and now I'm leaving, too.
Tim: I'm gonna get a promotion real soon.
Jack: What's the promotion for an insurance appraiser? You're gonna make me throw up.
NC: Next you'll be telling me you DON'T live with your mother complaining on forums why Star Trek was more destroyed than Star Wars.
NC (vo): He gets a call though that there was an accident.
Tim: It's the Ryme City Police Department.
NC (vo): (as Tim) Hmm, I wonder what they wanted to tell me down at the police station-- OH, GOD! DAD! (normally) Yes, it looks like it was his father who was killed in that car crash. But don't worry. This film knows how to balance tragedy and humor.
(A Lickitung slowly licks Tim's face.)
Tim: (muffled) I actually meant please do. (spits) Thank you. ...Thank you.
NC: Is anyone missing a clitoris with a tongue?
NC (vo): He's shown a video about the history of Pokémon and humans. And sue me - I think this is funny.
(The video shows Pokémon interacting with humans in caveman drawings and Egyptian hieroglyphics.)
Video Narrator: Early humans used to catch them and train them to use their unique powers for the common good.
NC: Ironically, this was taken from a time when Pokémon were enslaved, and the prophet Mosesmon said "Let my Bulbasaurs go". But don't worry. They love living in a robot Santa's testicle now. (picture is shown of Robot Santa from Futurama)
Video Narrator: One man changed all of this.
NC: Company Man? (picture is shown of the YouTuber "Company Man")
Video Narrator: Howard Clifford.
NC: I didn't know he was Company Man.
NC (vo): He apparently created a city where people and Pokémon live side-by-side where they don't have to be captured.
Howard Clifford (Bill Nighy): The cure I was looking for was for me to evolve into a better version of myself. And I discovered how to do that through a partnership with Pokémon.
NC: He did it.
NC (vo): Yeah, tough mystery, right? It's kinda like figuring out who framed Roger Rabbit. (A picture is shown of Judge Doom (Christopher Lloyd) in Who Framed Roger Rabbit) It could be anyone! But much like that movie, the focus isn't really the mystery as much as the comedic setup and imagination of the world they create. And despite the effects not really being anything spectacular, I can't really say they're bad either. There's clearly effort put into the textures, movements, and personalities of these creatures. They just don't always look like they're really there. They don't look real, but they look good.
(Police Lieutenant Hideo Yoshida's Snubbull glares and softly growls at Tim.)
NC: Okay, I will love this movie to death if this is all a Paranoia Agent tie-in.
(Picture next to Snubbull is shown of Maromi from Paranoia Agent.)
Hideo Yoshida (Ken Watanabe): Hi, Tim.
NC (vo): He meets up with Lieutenant Yoshida - played by Ken Watanabe because, let's face it, he's the Asian Karl Urban of being in geek stuff (pictures are shown of posters for Batman Begins, Godzilla, Isle of Dogs, and Transformers: The Last Knight) - who gives condolences on losing his father.
Yoshida: If you are anything like your dad--
Tim: I'm not. I was just really raised by my grandmother. Do you have the spare keys for his apartment? I should go wrap things up there.
NC: (as Tim) I'll just pick up my emotional baggage and head back to my apartment of issues.
Yoshida: This job... It demands a lot. But you were on his mind every day.
Tim: Uh, it was nice to meet you, lieutenant.
NC: You will believe people can actually act with a Feisty Pet toy looming in the background.
(Picture next to Yoshida and Snubbull is shown of the Sparkles Rainbowbarf the Pegasus Feisty Pet toy.)
NC (vo): This movie's weird. He goes to his father's apartment where he comes across a reporter named Lucy, played by Kathryn Newton.
Lucy (Kathryn Newton): I've been waiting to see who would open up that mailbox. You just walked into quite a story.
NC (vo): I have to admit, I thought this was going to be another bland tough woman with no personality (picture is shown of Bulma (Emmy Rossum) in Dragonball Evolution), but they quickly establish that's what she's TRYING to be and isn't especially good at it.
Lucy: Stories like this spread fear. And they're afraid of fear. But I don't fear fear. I walk the walk, and I talk the talk, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get the honest scoop, and that's the hard truth.
NC: In a Disney remake, that'd be seen as REALLY good dialogue.
(Pictures in front of NC are shown of Alice (Mia Wasikowska) in Alice in Wonderland, Clara (Mackenzie Foy) in The Nutcracker and the Four Realms, Belle (Emma Watson) in Beauty and the Beast, Kim (Sadie Stanley) in Kim Possible, and Hua Mulan (Yifei Liu) in Mulan (2020).)
Lucy: I work for the CMN blog making Pokémon listicles all day, okay? "Top 10 Cutest Pokémon".
Tim: Yeah, my grandma loves those.
Lucy: Yeah, news flash - they're all cute!
NC: I don't know. Flak Flatulence is a little off-putting. (picture next to NC is shown of a Morpeko with a chimpanzee's face edited over it)
NC (vo): She smells a story, but Tim has no answers for her, so he goes up to the apartment where he finds a movie is left on.
(Harry Goodman's TV is playing Angels with Filthy Souls, the movie-within-a-movie from Home Alone.)
Gangster Johnny: Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here.
Gangster Snakes: All right, Johnny. But what about my money?
NC: (confused) I wasn't particularly connecting this to the Home Alone universe, but to their credit, stranger things have happened in that franchise.
(Clip next to NC is played of Jessica (Debi Mazar) in Home Alone: The Holiday Heist trapped in a snowman.)
NC (vo): He comes across Ivan Ooze's bowel movement which gets exposed to some of the Pokémon outside, turning them into blood-hungry animals. But that doesn't distract him from the REAL discovery: a Pikachu, voiced by Ryan Reynolds.
Tim: Stop talking! You're a hallucination!
Pikachu (Ryan Reynolds): YOU'RE a hallucination.
NC: Clearly not with Deadpool's writers.
NC (vo): I'll admit, I was kinda hoping for more funny lines out of him, but truth be told, it IS humorous seeing that cute little fuzzball have this voice.
Pikachu: Help! Help! Oh, my god, help!
NC (vo): Again, I'd probably play him more in Smash Bros. if that was the voice he came with.
(Clip is played of Pikachu in Super Smash Bros. being knocked off the stage, with Ryan Reynolds' voiceover edited on top.)
Pikachu: No one's coming! People are so insensitive!
NC (vo): The other Pokémon attack, though, and they flee for their lives. They eventually go back to normal, and Tim tries explaining to everyone what's going on. But no one can understand Pikachu but him.
Tim: (to a couple on the street) Excuse me! Hi! Sorry. Uh, you can hear him, right? You can hear him talking?
Pikachu (Ikue Otani): Pika-pika!
Tim: It's that stuff that I put up my nose! (The couple looks weirded out) Not-not like that!
NC: Again, I have to give credit to a Pokémon movie that acknowledges cocaine exists!
Pikachu: Pat me or kiss me, they stick a finger in me.
NC: (weirded out) As well as... that.
NC (vo): Pikachu admits he was his father's Pokémon, but he has memory loss so he can't remember that much.
Tim: A talking Pikachu with no memories who's addicted to caffeine.
Pikachu: I can stop whenever I want. Another round. Black as night. Thank you, sweetie.
NC: Okay, I'm sure whatever he said makes sense to Pokémon fans, but to me that's just a hilarious sound.
NC (vo): I can play that at the most random movie moments, and it would instantly make them better.
(Clip plays of Batman in the 1989 Batman film.)
Thug: What are you?!
(Clip plays of Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader in Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back.)
Luke Skywalker: You killed him.
Darth Vader: No. I am your--
Luke Skywalker: NOOOOOOOOO!
NC: I'm just decreeing that the new Kristen Schaal. (picture next to NC is shown of Kristen Schaal) Nothing can be too bad if that's in it.
NC (vo): Pikachu doesn't think Tim's father is dead and asks him to help out, seeing how he's the only one who can understand him.
Pikachu: There's magic that brought us together, and that magic is called hope! Hope that Harry is still alive!
NC: (as Pikachu) That way he can offer so many more years of neglecting you!
NC (vo): Tim reluctantly agrees, and they search the apartment for clues.
Pikachu: Should we talk about the fact that your childhood bed is a Pikachu bed? I've never been so flattered and creeped out at the same time.
NC: I find that hard to believe from Ryan Reynolds.
Pikachu: Look, what about this?
Tim: That's my mom. She passed away when I was eleven.
Pikachu: Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't... I didn't realize.
NC: (as Pikachu) I didn't realize we were doing those kind of cliches. Do I sing you a song? Or wait for the Disney Channel logo to pop up in the corner? How does this work?
Pikachu: This is what a Frenchman would call "caliente fiesta"!
NC (vo): They discover the test tube that had the purple smoke and realize that must've set off the violent Pokémon. They try to visit Lucy to give her the story, but it looks like she's not being taken very seriously.
Roger Clifford (Chris Geere): Find a source! Oh. And pro tip - a reasonable sense of fashion.
NC: Hey, piss off! Everyone will be wearing the Cracker Jack!
(Picture next to Lucy is shown of the mascot of Cracker Jack snack food.)
Tim: I found something in Harry's desk.
Lucy: (whispering) No, not here!
NC (vo): He shows her his test tube in her office...
NC: Did not mean for that to come out that way.
NC (vo): ...leading to another great line.
Pikachu: This isn't an office. It's a... It's a coffin with pencils.
NC: (shrugs) He's like Mushu. He's got his moments.
NC (vo): It looks like she came across other test tubes just like the one that he found, and she tells him they were found at the docks. Because any film with the word "detective" in the title always has to have docks. Hey, I'm not complaining. I love film noir tropes. I just wish THIS wasn't the femme fatale.
NC (vo): They come across a suspect called Mr. Mime, and... I don't know if I have a soft spot for mime hate or if this is legitimately funny, but this IS the most hilarious scene in the movie.
Tim: He's barely moving.
Pikachu: Don't tell HIM that. He's on a bike! Come on, he thinks he's getting away! Quick!
(Mr. Mime pantomimes getting into a motorcycle crash.)
Pikachu: Ohhhh, no.
NC (vo): I'm not sure why mime scenes are so funny in films and TV. Maybe because they're like Sean Penn or Kanye West where you know they have legit talent, but they're so damn annoying, you can't help but smile when something bad happens to them.
(Tim pantomimes opening a door to get through Mr. Mime's psychic wall.)
Tim: Oh. Oh, what's this?
Pikachu: Oh, there's a door there. That's a jug.
NC (vo): In a great bit of writing, Tim forces him to reveal what he knows by pouring fake gasoline on him and lighting a fake match.
Pikachu: That went dark fast! I like this! I like this very much!
NC (vo): I like how it cuts away so we never know what happened after this imaginary fire was lit.
(Mr. Mime looks horrified when Tim lights an imaginary fire.)
NC: I like to think he went insane and is still convinced he's burning even to this day.
(Black-and-white picture shows Mr. Mime wrapped in a straitjacket and tended to by asylum nurses.)
NC: Which is tricky, because you have to put him in a mental institution AND a burn ward.
(We go to commercial. After the commercial, scene is shown of the illegal Pokémon fighting club.)
NC (vo): Tim and Pikachu make their way to a Pokémon cage fight. I'm not gonna lie - these things are pretty damn cool.
(Several Loudred use their voices to make the underground club's music.)
NC (vo): And the owner says he'll give answers if Pikachu fights to get revenge for his previous loss.
(Sebastian's Charizard roars and spews fire from its mouth, and Sebastian himself gives a goofy ululating battle cry.)
NC: That's eerily similar to how someone playing Pokémon reacts.
(Picture is shown of people playing the Pokémon trading card game at a Pokémon convention with Sebastian's head edited on top of one of the players.)
NC (vo): Tim helps him out, but the owner's gas accidentally fills the room, sending the Pokémon on a rampage.
(Various Pokémon rampage around the underground club, including Pangoro, Charizard, Slaking, and Loudred.)
NC (vo): No! We have a dead mother AND Zootopia's plot! There's only so much Disney we can lift here!
Sebastian (Omar Chaparro): It comes from the doctor! That's all I know!
NC (vo): They get the answers they're looking for, but they also get arrested. I don't know why, but the acting gets REALLY good whenever these two are in a scene together.
Yoshida: It's very difficult coping with loss. Denial can be a--
Tim: (pounds desk) No, I'm not in denial! I'm right! I know it! He's... He's out there!
NC (vo): To a point where you're kinda like, "Oh, yeah. There's a SpongeBob rat in this."
Yoshida: I never wanted to show you this.
NC (vo): Tim sees footage of the car crash, convincing him that his father is dead, and he admits he wishes he made an attempt to see his father when he was alive.
Tim: (tearing up) Because I never gave him the chance.
Pikachu: Look, I may not have memories, but I know this much. It wasn't your fault.
NC: Hmmm... Is an emotional speech by Ryan Reynolds as Pikachu moving or stupidly hilarious?
(A scale is placed over the scene with a confused emoji tilting back and forth between "MOVING" and "STUPIDLY HILARIOUS" while NC goes "hmmmmm".)
Pikachu: I'm sure that if your dad was here... he would hug you so hard, your bones would pop.
(The scale stops on "MOVING".)
NC: Yeah, okay. You're lucky you got good actors for this.
(Ms. Norman steps out of a car.)
NC (vo): Agent Smith...antha persuades them to visit Mr. Clifford, who admits the chemical called "R" is from his son Roger.
Howard: I hired Harry to trace it to its source. Imagine my shock when the answer turned out to be my own son.
NC (vo): Yeah, that's right. Halfway through, and we discovered who the bad guy is.
NC: There is only one movie dumb enough to be Snake Eyes, and it's Snake Eyes. (picture next to NC is shown of the poster for Snake Eyes)
NC (vo): I like Bill Nighy's performance in this because it looks like every second he's trying to explode out of his wheelchair and do Davy Jones, but he's barely holding it back.
Howard: Ever since my illness put me in this chair, Roger has taken over more and more of the company.
NC: (as Davy Jones) Do you fear... Diglett? (picture next to NC is shown of the Pokémon Diglett)
NC (vo): He tells him, though, that his father is alive, and he recreated what happened to him via hologram. And I'll just say it - I think this whole movie was made just to hear a great actor dramatically say "Mewtwo".
Tim: What is that?
NC: (as Howard) That's as... close to making that sound cool as I'm gonna get.
Howard: Created in a laboratory using DNA of the ancient Mew.
NC: Don't push your luck. It only sounds sillier the more you say it.
NC (vo): It looks like Mewtwo wiped Pikachu's memory and stole his father away. They have to figure out where he was taken, so they hit up Lucy, who once again isn't that great with the whole spy thing.
Lucy: Just act casual.
Tim: There's nothing really casual about this.
(Lucy tries handing some files to Tim while they're back-to-back, but Tim drops the files on the diner floor, and both fumble to pick them up.)
Lucy: That's okay.
(The two of them bump heads in their clumsiness.)
NC: The Spy Who Dumped Me was more smooth than this! (picture next to NC is shown of the poster for The Spy Who Dumped Me) ...I don't know how I remember that movie either!
NC (vo): She figures out where the secret lab is, and they break into it. They discover Mewtwo's blood was used to make Chemical R, and Tim's father was part of capturing him.
Tim: This doesn't make any sense! Harry would've never been a part of this!
Pikachu: I want to believe that, kid. Neither of us could say for sure what Harry would or wouldn't do.
NC (vo): (as Pikachu) I mean, I didn't think the director of this could possibly do Shark Tale, but people surprise you! (picture next to NC is shown of the poster for Shark Tale)
NC: Several Pokémon escape, but it looks like that's the least of their problems.
(Tim, Pikachu, and Lucy see the mountains move.)
NC (vo): (as Han Solo) This is no cave!
Pikachu: At this point, how can you not believe in climate change?!
NC: (scoffs) I hate when Pokémon gets political. (picture next to NC is shown of Barack Obama with cat ears and nose, with the caption "I'D VOTE FOR OBAMAMON A THIRD TIME")
NC (vo): Through a very creative action sequence, they outrun a Pokémon whose whole entire body is a forest.
Giant Torterras: [???]
Tim: Pikachu is injured, but Tim tries to encourage him to pull through.
Tim: I'm here, partner!
Pikachu: (weakly) You've got my back..
Tim: Pikachu! Pikachu!
NC: You KNOW this is one of those scenes where the actor is thinking...
NC (vo): (as Justice Smith) Please don't let this look stupid! This can so easily look stupid! (normally) Mewtwo appears, though, and heals him, revealing that Pikachu was on his side.
Mewtwo: You've done well. Humanity is evil.
(Mewtwo gets captured by spherical robotic drones.)
NC (vo): Mewtwo gets captured, though, and Pikachu can't believe he was working with the enemy.
Pikachu: I'm the guy who betrayed Harry. I could betray you, too.
Tim: You wouldn't do that. I... I don't care what I saw. I-I know who you are.
Pikachu: How do you know?
NC: (as Tim) You're the series' cash cow. They're not gonna gamble on that. They just needed a third act breakup.
NC (vo): Pikachu abandons them, and Tim goes to talk to Howard during a Pokémon pride parade. I assume their flag is made entirely out of rainbow cards. (picture is shown of multiple Pokémon TCG rainbow foil cards stacked together to make a flag on a flagpole)
Pikachu: Roger must've sent the Greninjas to cause the crash.
NC (vo): Pikachu puts together that Mewtwo was trying to save him that night, and - BIG SHOCK - Howard was the man behind everything, transferring his consciousness into Mewtwo.
Mewtwo/Howard: Well done, Tim. You and Harry's Pikachu led me straight to Mewtwo.
NC: (as Bill Nighy) You know I can't get through a movie without being animated somehow! (pictures in front of NC are shown of Grandsanta in Arthur Christmas, Davy Jones in Pirates of the Caribbean, Rattlesnake Jake in Rango, and Socrates in Norm of the North - all played by Nighy)
Mewtwo/Howard: Mewtwo has the power to transfer the soul of a human into the body of a Pokémon as long as the Pokémon are in a crazed state.
NC: That's a very specific combination of things. But I AM watching Foamy the Squirrel try to take over the world. (picture next to Mewtwo is shown of Foamy the Squirrel from the web cartoon Neurotically Yours) I shouldn't be too picky.
NC (vo): And because we haven't taken from enough movies yet...
Tim: The balloons! The "R" gas is in the balloons!
(Clip is played of the 1989 Batman film.)
Vicki Vale: He's going to kill everybody!
NC (vo): The gas is released, and Howard - as Mewtwo - fuses the people and Pokémon together. Tim also finds out that Howard's son wasn't behind anything as his Pokémon is a shapeshifter.
(Ms. Norman takes off her sunglasses to reveal the beady eyes of a Ditto.)
NC: That's okay, I didn't need any sleep tonight!
NC (vo): I know people can merge with Pokémon, but I didn't know they could merge with James and the Giant Peach. (picture next to Ditto/Ms. Norman is shown of James from James and the Giant Peach)
Pikachu: Let's do this!
NC (vo): Pikachu arrives, though, using his powers to stop him. They get the mind control thing from X2 off Howard's head, and Mewtwo is back to normal, returning everyone back to their original forms.
Tim: Are you okay?
Pikachu: I'm sorry! I'm sorry I pushed you away just when you needed me the most!
NC: (as Pikachu) That's TOTALLY not gonna be a metaphor in a minute!
NC (vo): Yeah, as much as I mock what an obvious mystery this is, I'll admit I didn't put together the big twist at the end. Pikachu is actually Tim's father fused by Mewtwo. Yeah, I know it was obvious, but I don't watch the damn show. Blow me.
Mewtwo: You've done well. Humanity is evil... but you have shown me that not all humans are bad.
NC (vo): (as Mewtwo) So humanity is NOT evil. This was a strangely worded sentence that hopefully will not be cut off as it would totally give the wrong impression to any onlookers.
Harry Goodman (Ryan Reynolds): Hey, kid.
NC (vo): So Tim is reunited with his father who was... (gasps) ...the Green Lantern all along!
Tim: I think I'll have to find a new job. Maybe I could give detective work a try?
NC (vo): (as Harry) Oh, Christ, there's no money in that. Why don't you be an insurance appraiser or something?
NC: And that was Detective Pikachu. It's... not MY thing, but that doesn't mean it's bad.
NC (vo): Yes, it's formulaic and could be funnier, but it's also imaginative, it has its heart in the right place, and at times can be pretty fun. Even though I didn't grow up wih Pokémon, I can tell there's little touches all throughout this film that people who DID grow up with it would recognize and appreciate. For me, it's like watching Roger Rabbit if you never grew up with cartoons. You could follow it okay, and it'd be fine, but you wouldn't have nearly as strong a connection with it as people who DID grow up with cartoons. So I guess I'd say if you DIDN'T grow up with Pokémon, it has enough to probably keep you interested, but if you DID grow up with Pokémon, you'll most likely enjoy it a lot more. So there. I finally gave a Pokémon property a fair shot and found myself actually enjoying it in several parts. Is it for me? Not really. But I can see how others could get sucked into the variety and adrenaline it offers. So if you like Pokémon but haven't seen this movie, check it out. I think you'll have a pretty good time.
NC: I mean, at least it's a lot better than Game of Thrones! GAME OF THRONES SUCKS! Laa-laa-laaaaa!
Chester: (shakes his head) Mmm, that one did it to itself.
NC: (disappointed) I know. ...Were you standing there the whole time?
Channel Awesome Tagline: Ludicolo: LUDICOLO!
(The credits roll)