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Planet of the Commercials

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'''NC (vo):''' The ALF doll at least ''talks'' in this one, so we can better understand why these commercials are just so darn uncomfortable.
 
'''NC (vo):''' The ALF doll at least ''talks'' in this one, so we can better understand why these commercials are just so darn uncomfortable.
   
'''ALF doll (voiced by Doug):''' You know, to get the show, I had to sleep with Harvey Weinstein. Everything you've read about him isn't as bad as you think. It's light-years worse. / It's not that you ''want'' to prostitute yourself for money, it's that God gave you no other choice. / But the lowest point is when I thought it was eating a cat, but it was really a dead-eyed monstrosity called a PetSter. I was so drunk! / But I ask myself every day, would I do it all again? NO!
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'''ALF doll (voiced by Doug):''' You know, to get the show, I had to sleep with Harvey Weinstein. Everything you've read about him isn't as bad as you think. It's light-years worse. It's not that you ''want'' to prostitute yourself for money, it's that God gave you no other choice. But the lowest point is when I thought it was eating a cat, but it was really a dead-eyed monstrosity called a PetSter. I was so drunk! But I ask myself every day, would I do it all again? NO!
   
 
'''NC (vo):''' Let's be honest, it would explain why everybody was so off in these commercials. They're weird and awkward, but I guess I wouldn't expect anything else from ALF.
 
'''NC (vo):''' Let's be honest, it would explain why everybody was so off in these commercials. They're weird and awkward, but I guess I wouldn't expect anything else from ALF.
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''(The supposed Ring girl raise her head to reveal a monkey face and NC began to scream as an icon sign written "Downloading into your soul" appears. As the download is complete, NC stop screaming, completely terrified)''
 
''(The supposed Ring girl raise her head to reveal a monkey face and NC began to scream as an icon sign written "Downloading into your soul" appears. As the download is complete, NC stop screaming, completely terrified)''
   
'''Gainomax Monkey:''' Gainomax. Twice the cups and twenty times more proteins. Stop eating my food.
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'''Gainomax Monkey:''' Gainomax. Twice the cups and twenty time more proteins. Stop eating my food.
   
 
'''NC:''' That's always going to be there when I close my eyes now, isn't it? L-let me try out, here-, Yeah, there it is, okay, well done.
 
'''NC:''' That's always going to be there when I close my eyes now, isn't it? L-let me try out, here-, Yeah, there it is, okay, well done.
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